I wanted to hang back to hear what Gabriel said to Chantal, but there was nowhere to hide and eavesdrop, so I made my way up to her room and paced back and forth with worry, biting my nails down to the quick the way Gabriel hates.
I felt small and inadequate, inferior even, and that’s not a feeling I deal with very well. I’ve had years of imagining ways of fighting back, it’s all I could do as a young child under Sam’s fists, and then as a teen with no way of escaping, my imagination ran wild. But now that I’m free of Sam, there seems to be something else holding me in its grip, a new fear that I have no experience with.
It's good that Chantal is still here. I’d been surprised to see her walk into the kitchen, but I didn’t say anything then because my mind was already preoccupied with the two newcomers at the table. I was still reeling from what I’d seen and not ready to face the feelings it had wrought; that’s why I’d run away from Gabriel and his explanations.