Chapter 21: Acceptance

'1922

Bombay

Dear Bondita,

Our son turned 5 today. He and his antics, just like you! Remember how you used to puff your cheeks when angry? He does exactly the same...

Our son is bright in studies, Bondita. He has started his school in Bombay, far from our cursed land. I don't know how long will I be able to keep him here.

I still don't understand what I have become, and the Sherman is constantly in search of our son!

But, don't you worry Bondita, Anuv is my responsibility. I'll keep him safe.

It's only 5 years, 77 more to go! And then you'll be born again, and once you're born, only 18 more years before we could be together once again.

I spend my days just counting these numbers, over and over again...

Wherever you are my love, know that your Barrister Babu loves you more than you can even think of...

I love you Bondita.

I'm waiting.

Come soon. '

Vidhi folded the first letter and took a deep breath.

Such love! Such depth of emotions!

The words had overwhelmed her heart, choking her voice in a sweet melancholy.

"You sure you want to eat fish?"

Anirudh shouted from outside her room.

"I thought you said you hate them."

"I don't know, I'm feeling like having fish."

Vidhi shouted back.

"With mustard paste and baked." She added.

"What?"

Vidhi lifted her head to look infront only to find Anirudh standing infront of her door with a spatula in hand, and a black apron around his neck.

"Hey, how did you come here so fast? Weren't you in the kitchen?"

"I ran." Anirudh shrugged.

"But tell me Vidhita, fish with mustard? Baked! Why did you say it?"

"I don't know, when you asked me what I wanna eat, I just felt like..." Vidhi narrowed her eyes at him and let out a gasp.

"Bondita! I'm feeling what Bondita feels!"

Anirudh nodded his head slowly and smiled.

"Yes, the dish that you mentioned is Bondita's favourite."

Vidhi forced a smile on her face.

"So what happens now Anirudh? I'm scared... really scared."

Anirudh looked away, but only for a moment, gathering his thoughts as he slowly walked in the room and sat at the edge of her bed.

"Vidhita... You are a reborn... I mean, you can see it as a reincarnation. You are no different than Bondita. You don't need to be scared of something which you already are..."

"But, but I don't know her... I am different."

"May be for now... But, once you start remembering everything, it won't be that difficult to identify to her." Anirudh let out a breath.

"This is a different century, a different environment, it's very evident that you will have traits that you have acquired in this birth... new relationship, new memories... But, that doesn't make you a new person Bondita... You are what you are!"

"You... You just called me Bondita." Vidhi murmured.

"My bad..." Anirudh smiled gently.

"It's just that it's a little difficult for me to address you by any other name... But, I'll try to be a little more careful."

Vidhi didn't reply. She smiled back at him.

"So, once I turn 18, in some days, it means I won't forget who I am?"

"Not if you embrace who you are... But, if you fight it then your past identity, the stronger one, would take over your present identity."

"Like Sampurna Maa?"

"Yes... When she turned 18, there was no one to tell her all these, no one to support her, guide her... Everyone thought her to be crazy when she started to remember her past life... So, she tried to fight it... And, hence both her past and present identity conflicted with each other, pushing her further into oblivion."

"I... I think I understand now."

Vidhi smiled.

"So, let's start with mustard fish then... Tell me more about her, Bondita."

Anirudh looked lovingly at her face and gently touched her nose with a finger.

"Bondita... the most incredible woman that had ever walked on earth! Righteous, thoughtful, loving...

She was a famous lawyer of her times. But, she valued her family above everything else..."

"Wow... Sounds amazing! And what about Anirudh Roy Chowdhury, her husband?"

"What about him? He just was a mad lover, who loved her to the end of the world."

"Wasn't he a famous Barrister too, or something?"

"Yes... But, that was just a part of him. His entire being belonged to Bondita... belongs to Bondita."

Vidhi blushed at his words.

"You are his reborn right? So what else do you remember about him?"

"Everything! I remember everything Bondita."

Vidhi rolled her eyes at him, but upon realising that he didn't comprehend the mistake this time, her lips curved into a soft smile.

"You know what, call me Bondita if you want... It would be my second step of embracing my past life."

"What's the first?" Anirudh asked her quizzically.

"Eating fish!"

............................

'1933

Rangoon

Dear Bondita,

It's not very far that we'll breath in an independent country. Your son and I are in Rangoon. He is 15 now, and an absolute rebel. He has started to question me a lot these days... about you, about us! And, I don't have answers, not now!

Bondita, I feel your absence in my heart, my soul, every minute. Why did it happen the way it did? Why couldn't we just live happily and die contented in each other's arms?

I don't sleep anymore Bondita... For, I fear the dreams!

You said our love is eternal, but what about this void? How do I survive this?

Tell me Bondita...

Is this what you meant when you said we have an epic love story?

66 more years to go!

Come back to me, please...

I'm waiting desparately.'

Vidhi folded the second letter carefully and secured it under her pillow.

'How can someone love so deeply?'

She leaned her head back against the bed-post and let out a deep sigh.

'How old would Anirudh Roy Chowdhury be when he wrote these letters?'

She started to calculate in her head.

It's so difficult to wait for someone so desparately even after knowing that he won't be able to probably meet her ever again...

She closed her eyes trying to imagine Anirudh Roy Chowdhury's demeanor as she had seen in the picture.

"Don't sleep without tasting my fish!"

Anirudh's soft voice made Vidhi smile as she opened her eyes slowly. The picture of Anirudh Roy Chowdhury that she was painting in her mind became prominent in reality, leaning over her face and smiling that contiguous smile at her.

"Tell me... Are we destined to fall in love?"

Vidhi suddenly asked him, looking at him in a daze.

"If you aren't already...."

Anirudh smirked.

"What about you?" She asked him.

"I have loved you even before you walked this earth...

I live only for you...

I breath only for you... Bondita!"

He cupped her face in his hand, inching closer to her face as he felt a sweet surrender from her.

"I too feel I have known you a lifetime and even beyond... Barrister Babu!"

Anirudh felt a jolt run through his nerves.

"Bondita?" He exclaimed.

"No, Vidhita..." She opened her eyes and smiled seductively.

"But, yes... Bondita too!"