Find him

Chapter 10: Find him

~ Loki ~

Driving a Chevy is one of the things I find too easy to do. That's why I don't bother to hold the steering wheel with only one hand. My right hand was so happy to be placed at Era's left hand, intertwined.

To be honest, I never thought this would feel more than I expected for me to feel once she admits that she likes me too. But I'm fully aware that all she said was that she like me, and did not love me. Well, I wish I could get to that part too. For now, all that matters is our secret admiration towards each other.

Good thing, grabbing her to the bleachers was the nicest idea I could ever think of. Now, we can't help but always have that upward smile that makes my insides flutter. A burst of plastered sunshine on our faces.

It was a swift drive home. Occasionally, Era would ask me random questions about our discussion earlier. She's really interested in that topic, the fallacies.

The sun is setting. It's about 6 p.m. I suddenly wonder what Mom is doing, Edward her husband, was probably still working. I pulled the car into the garage. The garage was big. Good for the two cars. This old chevy was bought by Edward for us, for me, and Era.

I turn off the car engine and got the keys in my pocket. "I'll just take a shower. Let's have a movie marathon later, okay?" She said ready to close the car door. "Okay." When I answered, she immediately closed the car door and enter the house after she said, "Okay.".

She didn't look back.

However, I can still feel her hands lingering on mine. The feeling was an electric shock it was thrilling and unexpected. I ruffle my hair as I walk past the door and towards the hallway, walking through the kitchen.

"Hey, darling. How's school today?" Mom asked as she swayed a little to look at me.

I kissed her cheeks. She was cooking a creamy pasta sauce, casually cooking our dinner. She's wearing a white shirt and cotton shorts.

"It was unexpected," I said as I smiled showing my teeth. I mean it. I have never thought of feeling this way over Era until now.

She laughed and her free hand ruffles my hair. "I would be pleased if you tell me." She said taking a glance at me after mixing the sauce on the pan. I paused. Unable to grasp a makeup story to tell her. Of course, I shouldn't tell her about me and Era. Somehow, I manage to answer.

"I'll tell you later Mom, on the dinner. I'll take a shower first." I said seriously.

"Okay, I'd love to hear that." She said smiling at me. I see the twinkle in her eyes, she seems really happy with Edward. There's no doubt about that. I walk upstairs and took a cold shower. Water running down to my face and onto my body. Suddenly, I'm flooded with thoughts about Mom and Edward. I imagined their happy moments together. I still remember how they met because of us. Because of Era and me. Sometimes I will hope that I can bring back time. And that they will never meet each other, and they will never be going to marry.

I shook my head. C'mon Loki. Don't ever think of that. I sadly told myself.

I should be happy for my mom. I should.

Guilt crept in my insides swallowing me, deeply, horribly. I pressed both of my hands on the moisture-tiled floor as the cold water trickle down on me, making me feel refresh.

Then I heard a knock. It was a knock at the bathroom door. It's Era.

I reach for the towel that's perfectly hanging at the back of the door. I tightly gripped it on my waist. When I open the door Era was sitting on my bed. She's wearing an oversized printed shirt. It says Omg. Her shorts are not visible because of the oversized shirt that's up to 3 inches higher from her knees.

Her hair is bound in an uptight bun with messy little strands spiraling down her small, beautiful face. It suited her.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I asked surprised.

"Nothing, just waiting for you." She said it timidly. Then her eyes slowly run down, checking my body. My upper body is still wet from the shower, so the sprinkle of water is visible. I forgot to dry it with a towel because I was too eager to open the door.

I swallowed hard because she's tempting me to kiss her with that look on her face. She's checking my body.

"Oh, really?" I raised my eyebrow at her and give her a playful grin. Then her eyes met mine, we stared at each other hard. "Are you sure you're not here to check my abs?" I said it acting sincerely, broking our sweet gaze. She then grabbed a pillow and throws it to my face.

Shoot.

"That's harsh." I simply said. She laughed after. Her voice sounded like a song. A melodramatic song.

"Really, I was waiting for you. I'm nervous." I heard her whispered the last thing. Nodding at her and going to my walk-in closet. I closed the door and prepared a plain white shirt paired with grey jogging pants. The jogging pants were hanging loosely on my hips making me feel comfortable enough to sleep. After two minutes, I see Era who's staring at nothing. She's thinking. I know it.

"Hey, don't be nervous. I'm here. I got you." I said it and walked closer to the bed where she's sitting at. I hold her elbows making her stand so I can look at her eyes and assure her that I mean it.

I'm a lot taller than her. Making her look up to me. Her eyes are scarred making it appear larger and sadder than usual. I can smell her scent, a mix of fruit and fresh flowers.

"I can't help it. I somehow feel guilty, you know." She spoke. She looked down at her feet. Our distance is just an inch apart because I'm still holding her elbows standing in front of each other.

"Don't be. If we want this, we shouldn't feel guilty. Besides, we are already here. We already said the words we shouldn't." I told her in a low voice. She slowly looks up at me again and shows me a small smile.

"Right, this is something we couldn't help." She said convincing herself. I don't think I need her convincing. I'm sure of my intentions. I just need her to hold on to me, to be there by my side.

"Have you ever wondered, what if they didn't meet each other at the Flaming Grill? Maybe we wouldn't be in this situation." She said seriously. Oddly fascinated by the what-if.

I nod and sigh. She looks at me with hopes in her eyes. Though, I'm not quite sure what is she hoping for.

"Hush. When they met, I never knew that they would marry each other. Whenever they look at each other, back then, they are shooting daggers. No one would assume that they would become lovers, including me." I explained to her. Consoling her thoughts. So, she will feel that her feeling is valid.

"Do you remember when they told us a story about Dad's friends who courted Aunt Leah?" She moves aside from me, walking side by side like she's planning something. Wait, what does she mean by her question? Is she planning mom to get back on that friend of Edward?

My eyes followed her. Looking to the right and the left.

"Why are you planning something?

She laughed.

"No, silly. It's just there's something suspicious on her story, different from a story that Dad told me before." Her eyes are pure of something I can't decipher. But I see a hint of something astonishing like she's ready to face the clusterfuck that I had created.

I tried to remain composed and collected.

"Let's find him." She said it with conviction. She smiled at me wickedly.

Now, I'm sure I look perturbed. Agitated.