82 Ru+N

Amara got Bav to release Soot's who stormed off in another fit of rage, breaking tables and vase's along the way. Bav merely picked me up in his arms and carried me away to our room, sobbing into his chest. I cling to his shirt, asking a million questions in between choked sobs.

"Why did nobody care? What was so wrong with us that no one cared? Why?... Was his own daughter not worth saving? Why did he never even send a letter to inquire of my safety after momma's death?... Why didn't he love us?... Why did.. no one.. love us?"

All questions that I thought I had overcome growing up, came rushing forth. I had not overcome any of the traumas of an alone and helpless, abused, little girl, like I had thought. I had merely repressed them, sticking them deep within my heart. Now, they were uncovered and leaving my heart raw and exposed.

Bav cradled me against him, holding me close, whispering soft reassurances of love. My sobs slowly softening as I drifted out of exhausted conscience in the darkness of sleep.

My whole face felt swollen, my chest felt sore, and my head felt every beat of my heart.

'Am I sick?' I thought for a moment trying to open my swollen puffy eyes, when I heard hushed voices.

"... well no, she's still asleep. I don't think she is going to want to talk to him anytime soon." Bav's voice is apparent to me.

"She should at least hear us out first."

'Who's that?'

"That may be so, but he attacked her, so he will have to sit out on your explanations first. I will leave it up to her if she cares to speak to him again or not."

I hear a door close, and hear the soft patter of Bav's shoes on the wood floor before his weight descends onto the bed beside me.

"I know you're awake, Kara. Do you want to talk?"

With his heavy sigh, my memories come back to the forefront of my mind, making me take in a shuddering breath.

And choke on my dry, swollen airways.

*Cough-Cough*

I wince at the pain that burns in my chest, and sit up with Bav's assistance. He hands me a glass of water and I sip it.

"Let me look at your chest." Bav undoes my ties after I nod, pulling the fabric back to expose my bruised and tender chest.

"You want me to try and heal this for you?" Bav gently caress the outer edge of the bruise near my collar bone, making me flinch.

"Can you do that?" I can not contain the surprise in my voice as I lean back to look up at him.

He nods, slowly, "It is a skill I have been working on since I've arrived here. I found a book of Fey magic among the books they asked me to translate. This will give me the opportunity to hone it on someone else."

He moves his hands over my bruises a light, golden glow radiating from his palm to my chest, moving slowly over the dark bruising. Within a a few minutes, the bruising is gone and I can breathe easier again. However, the pain in my heart is still present.

"Oh Bav..." I fall in to his open arms and clutch him tightly to me. "How could he ignore my momma's letters? How could he ignore us?"

A deep breath filled Bav's chest before he slowly released it, "I think you may want to hear from Amara and the others the reason why he never sent a message back."

Leaning back from him, I stare at him wide eyed. "Why? What do they have to say about the situation?"

"Apparently, he received all those letters at once. He didn't know anything until it was too late. He can't leave here being the caretaker of the Nether space. If he did, the space would disappear. He would only get news when a Catalyst came here to train. Over the years, fewer and fewer have been able to find their way to the temple to be brought here. Most are caught and disappear by the authorities. So the mail had stayed with Amara, until they brought another catalyst here. Amara would have brought him the letters if she had read them, but out of respect she never did."

Bav's words sink in.

"He didn't know...." I shake my head, "Oh, Bav... I assumed and reacted in haste. But.. Then why didn't he say he knew who I was?! Why didn't he send a letter out after he found out?!"

Bav sighs, taking my hands in his, looking at me from under his brow, "That question is one I am incapable of answering. Would you be inclined to speak to Amara about this?"

I take a deep breath and give him a nod of my head.

...

Later that day, after Amara and the others have explained how his life works here, how he helped create the Nether space, and therefore tying his life to it. If he had left, he would have died and the Nether space and everything kept here would vanish with him. With the fact that he only received news when a Catalyst came to train, he'd only received the letters when it was too late. Ten years too late.

No one condoned his actions of using his abilities against me, but every one agreed that it seemed to be an instinctual reaction, not intentional. Something that all Catalysts are supposed to be able to do if enraged enough and threatened. A defense mechanism, but not like the Violent Fury events I had learned about.

No one could answer why my mother or I could never use that with my father, or yesterday with Soot's attack against me.

Bav was still clenching his jaw over the situation, but kept his own anger in check. He did ask quite a few questions about how the Nether space was created and how it felt so natural. Why there were animals, fish, birds, and far away, a race of people that kept to themselves. That information made me sit up, intrigued, joining Bav's interrogative questions.

Most of our questions were given the same answer though, that Soot's would have to be the one to answer them, for they did not know. However, everyone insisted that I give Soot's, Bav, and I, some time to cool off and return to my prior training schedule.

....

"This is so frustrating!" I growl out through gritted teeth, as I try again to channel the environmental energy with Synthea.

"Stop focusing on the fact you have not channeled the energy yet. Just relax. Empty your mind and do not focus on your thoughts, clear thoughts until you feel the hum."

I try to clear my thoughts, closing my eyes and feel this 'hum' she keeps referring to.

'I do not sense anything! Okay, Rakara... Clear your thoughts, nice clear thoughts. Stop contemplating attempting to discern the humming... that is not there.'

Bav's sigh cuts through my thoughts and my eyes snap open to glare at him. "If you think you could do it faster, why don't you show me?!"

My fists clench at my sides, frustrated that I still am incapable of summoning fire and using the energy of the surrounding elements. I understand that I could have hit a bottleneck in my abilities or I am not as strong as originally appraised by the others. Right now though, I was just done being given more tips that got me no where.

Bav's large, wide eyes, blink slowly at my outbursts at him. "I was only going to suggest taking a break, dear."

"I do not require a break. I need to learn how to do this." I cross my arms and grunt, closing my eyes and trying to concentrate again. I hear the footsteps of someone walking up to us, but try to drown it out. I know it's Calire, here to take me outside to practice camouflaging myself in different environments.

"Rakara, come. Maybe practicing with me will help clear your mind to help you practice later." Calire sounds steady as ever, like a stone monolith never leaning to any side no matter how hard the wind may blow.

She is the quiet one out of the bunch, preferring to make art, read, and walk through the garden and surrounding forest. She observes everything in her sight with scrutiny, that I think an ant taking a crumb wouldn't get past her.

I mentally roll my eyes and take a deep breath, "Sure thing, Calire. Where shall I disappear, today?"

Calire, without missing a beat, "Forest, you have 5 minutes. I suggest you run, I expect full body disguising taking place."

I don't waste time complaining and take off running with my skirts in hand, thinking of what I know should be present in the forest to disguise and hide my body. I undo my heavy outer skirt, pulling it up over my head and tossing it to the ground, still running into the woods. I take to the stream, throwing myself headfirst into the mud along the outer banks, smearing it quickly over me, then I take off running again, snapping small branches off trees, sticking the twigs and leaves into my hair.

I catch sight of a broken and fallen tree, still attempting to grow. I toss a ribbon into the leaves under the tree to throw off the trail and walk under it, stepping carefully as to not leave tracks as I round my way up into the trees. I have to be quiet while I am slowly crawling up to the highest branches that can hold my weight, grabbing small branches with leaves, sticking them into the back of my dress, to help cover me once I'm in place.

I'm easily thirty feet in the air, it's hard to see the ground from where I'm at and the branches are only becoming thinner. I lodge myself on the branches of several overlapping limbs and use my branches from my back to help me hide more. Then I sit and wait, the sound of my heavy breathing and beating heart still filling my ears.