Chapter 361: An Endless Circle
Late Morning - Late Winter : The Nest
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*clink-clink* Gently swirling the ice in my glass, I looked her in the eye with a mix of pity and disappointment. "You really think you can deceive a god?" *tap* Gently setting it down after a moment of silence, her whole body stiffened with fear before I looked up from my glass and back into her eyes. "You know just as well as me that English isn't native to this world."
Her face drained of color instantaneously.
"Now, let me ask again." *blink* Surrounding us with light magic, our surroundings instantly went dark, only leaving us and the table visible. "Who are you?"
There was a long moment of silence as her expression started darkening before she hung her head. "I..." She sounded uncertain as she spoke under her breath. "I don't know..."
It was a response I didn't expect, but some part of my soul seemed to resonate with it. -Is she really a reincarnator?- For some time, I had begun to consider if it was her 'grandfather' that was the one to reincarnate. "Then how about this..." Easing my tone slightly, I leaned back off the table. "Why don't you tell me about 'the past you'."
Realizing what I was implying, she clenched her hands so hard they bruised one another before suddenly easing them. However, she never lifted her gaze up, letting the blood from her lip drip onto her hands as she sunk her teeth into it. "Do you.. already know about Earth..?"
"Of course. Most of the details are fuzzy now, but I still have some memories from it." I spoke nonchalantly while pouring myself another glass of alcohol.
But she didn't seem to take it so casually. "Huh?" Her tense expression eased with confusion instantly. "From.. it..? D..do you mean.. from other people who have reincarnated from Earth before me?"
I quickly shook my head. "No. I mean my memories from Earth itself." *sip*
But as I casually sipped my drink, a conflicting mix of fear, caution, and excitement filled her eyes. "Huh?! D-D-Do you mean y-you're a reincarnator from Earth?" Not sure what to think or believe, her emotions quickly themselves into a knot.
-But...- I responded with a shrug, "I remember my reincarnation quite vividly, and while they're quite blurry, I do still have some memories of Earth. However, I can't say that I was the one to live that life there." -Although it was undeniably a piece of me...- *Tap* Setting down my glass, I further relaxed my posture. "But unlike me, you still seem to have quite a strong connection to that life."
She paused as her expression turned conflicted, and she averted her eyes. "I.. do..."
"So why don't you tell me about it?" A smile slowly came to my face as I watched her brain race with thought. "If you're nervous about me using something you tell me against you, don't." As she looked up at me, my smile twisted slightly. "I wouldn't use such a roundabout way to get what I want."
But while it only seemed to send a shiver down her spine, after a moment of thought, she finally eased up. "O..okay..." She hung her head to think for almost half a minute before finally continuing. "A few of my memories are a little fuzzy, so I can't remember my last name, but my name on Earth was Elizabeth, and I was 18 when I.. died..." She bit her lip again as she paused, clearly still struggling to deal with her emotions. "I was a freshly instated nun somewhere the United States.. I can't recall where specifically."
-Huh?- It wasn't the response I expected at all. -She was a nun? Did she reincarnate way before me?- "I want to ask how did you died, but first, do you remember what year it was you died?"
She quickly nodded. "It was 2012..."
-That.. doesn't help...- Without realizing it, I had long since forgotten when my reincarnation was. "Hm... I don't remember the years..." -What can I ask to gauge the timeframe...- "Do you remember anything about electric cars?"
Her face quickly brightened slightly. "Ah, y-yes." Quickly picking up what I was trying to ask, she continued. "They were a very new thing, though. I only heard about them a few months before I died."
-So she did reincarnate before me...- It was by a fair bit too, a little over ten years. "Hm.. alright. Then, how did you reincarnate?"
She quickly tensed up with emotion again. "Ah.. well, like I said a second ago, I was a nun, but it hadn't been for long... Not long after I turned 18, my church sent me and my group to Jerusalem as a way to celebrate our initiation. It was quite a beautiful place.. I can still remember it vividly.. but while we were walking around The Church of the Holy Sepulchre.. time seemed to stop, and I felt this.. horrible chill.. and the next thing I knew, I felt like a different person.. I lost my sense of self, and lost control of my body before everything finally went black... After that, I can only remember waking up in the Forest of Altair, in the body of a three-year-old who was under the care of her grandfather... He spoke English, and while I never worked up the courage to ask, he always seemed acutely aware that I was a reincarnator, and looked at me as if he knew my past, thinking fondly of it, so I had this belief that he was an angel guiding me in heaven.. but now..."
-Hm...- My expression quickly turned troubled. -I was hoping our experiences would have lined up more, but...- My experience was quite drastically different. -There's no way someone could forget the pain of your body and soul being eaten by the void... So, what happened to her...-
However, as I tilted my head, watching her soul swirl within her reserve around a tiny, solid core with my mind fueled by curiosity, a presence I had been keeping my eye on for a while finally approached, and I slowed my divinity.
*Vwoom* Before you could even blink, time seemed to stop, and Grace appeared right next to me, sitting on the edge of the table, hanging her head.
I had never seen her like that. She looked almost.. guilty...
"~I.. can explain...~" She spoke softly. Softer than I had ever heard before. "~Or.. I can at least try...~"
A wave of thoughts instantly flooded my mind. "Are you.. related to her reincarnation?"
She immediately nodded. "~Unlike her, I can't remember anything about the advent itself, but, I do know that I was responsible for it...~"
-Huh? Wait.. then...- "Do you mean you did something to bring her here.. or do you mean.. you both came at the same time..." -There's no way you had a way to return to Earth on her own.. so...-
There was a long silence before she finally matched my gaze. "~I dragged her with me when I was.. transmigrated.. if you wish to word it that way...~"
My mind instantly froze. -W..what?- "I-If that were the case, how is she still a young woman? She couldn't have been reincarnated more than a year before me." -She was a child when I saw her in the forest... And even now.. she most certainly isn't from the era of the Great War like Grace is... Plus, she only died on earth a few years before me...-
But Grace just turned her head away in silence.
That was when it finally clicked. "You're kidding..." Looking back at Elizabeth's soul, I stared at the solid soul core with wide eyes.
"~When I strengthened her soul to survive in the void, it formed a core with her memories from Earth in it...~" She paused as she hung her head with guilt. "~And because of that core.. those memories never disappear, even if they're meant to be cleaned by Delphi's reincarnation cycle... So.. every time she reincarnates...~"
Silence fell around us as I stared at Grace. -She's been reincarnated with her memories from Earth continuously for ten thousand years..?- "So that's why you were near that forest when we first met..."
She gently nodded.
"Then, her 'grandfather'... Who is-"
"~He's her last life's son.~" She paused before finally floating off the table, still refusing to turn around and look at Elizabeth. "~Every generation I could, I have given an oracle to one of her children to move to that forest and take care of her next reincarnation.~"
"Then.. the reason she doesn't seem to be a human is..." -Because she isn't...- Watching Grace nod, I fell back into my chair and looked at Elizabeth, not knowing what to think. -Fuck...-
Before I knew it, my thoughts were racing. Just when I thought I was taking some steps forward in understanding the world and my reincarnation, I had to take a step back.
-So she only died a few years before me on Earth.. yet ten thousand years earlier here on Delphi...- It meant there were two possibilities: either I reincarnated right after them, and Dagr simply took that long to find me a suitable body, or Delphi's time dilation was just that ridiculous. -Based on what Dagr said.. it wouldn't make sense for him to take so long to reincarnate me... So that just leaves time dilation...-
But that had its own issues too. To survive traveling to Delphi through the void with just a human soul, Earth had to be somewhere close by; otherwise, just as Grace said before, a while back, I wouldn't have made it here, even with Dagr's help. However, the time dilation said otherwise. -Ugh...-
It was a fruitless effort to dedicate thought to it as things were, but even after realizing that and setting those theories aside, my mind couldn't rest easy.
After I tried shifting gears back toward the girl in front of me, some part of my soul ached with sympathy. Her scenario was one that I had feared was happening to me for many years after all. -The curse of walking in a circle forever...- "Has she ever figured out the loop she's in?"
"~She usually does near the end of each life.. and she tries to leave mementos for her next reincarnation to find.. but she's only ever found a few...~"
I paused before looking back at Grace. "Why don't you guide her toward them?"
"~I have.~" She responded bluntly. "~She was my plan A... If I reincarnated her enough.. I thought she may be able to become a god and help me.. get back to Earth...~" She spoke softly, as if unsure whether to tell me.
My expression darkened in an instant. "So that was your objective..." Ever since she first spared me, I asked myself why. She could have easily killed me during my first few dragon sleeps, yet didn't, and not only that, she even helped me with my growth quite significantly. "I'm assuming that means I'm your plan B?" As she gently nodded, a mix of conflicting emotions filled my mind.
"~You were a golden goose I had the audacity to try and control... The fruit of a being far above myself... If you don't wish to forgive me for using you.. you can do what you wish with me, but...~" She spoke with reluctance.
And while a part of me did want to dissolve her soul in the void, this was already a reality I had come to terms with. "You're far more useful alive. Plus, if I ever get the strength to send you back, I will." I paused before pulling my eyes off her. "I'm quite curious about Earth myself..."
The issue was.. I wasn't sure I would make it that far.
The world was filled with horrors I still couldn't comprehend, and as she said, I was still but a fruit to Dagr. I still had a long way to go if I wanted to keep my body...
But as I was reminded of that reality, the light I believed I was seeing at the end of the tunnel flickered away like an illusion.
I was much farther from the end than I had tricked myself into believing, like a frog in a well.
"Haah..." But I wasn't going to just give up. -I've been too lax...- Instead, I was going to do the opposite. -But before that...- "What do you think about still making use of Elizabeth?"
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