XIII

I feel stress on my throat.

Let me explain it better: since last year, every time I feel stress or anxious I feel like there's something on my throat, and I'm choking a little bit.

When I felt it for the first time, I obviously thought it was COVID, and I kept thinking that until the fourth doctor who received me told me there was absolutely nothing there, and everything was just stress. That's when I decided to get a job and do something with my life. After that, this choking feeling has followed me intermittently.

I'm feeling it rn.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start with the beginning.

I've been buying and selling Funko Pops since chapter XI, and it's going pretty well: I have 60 figures in stock and I have my initial investment back, which I'm reinvesting constantly. Well, at least part of it, because the platforms I'm using to sell online, like my country's eBay and Amazon, take their time to give me the money I'm earning, so technically speaking, I've my investment back, but in reality I only have part of it, part I'm reinvesting over and over again.

But it's fine: I'm growing little by little; I've been taking a small part of my earnings every week—for now, the equivalent of my weekly salary at the call center but, considering that was only a half-time job, it's not that much, really, but, hey, this is way better than that—and depositing it on my savings account, so it's starting to grow once again, and that hadn't happened since I lost my job at the hotel—and I could give myself that salary, too, but I'd better reinvest it—I'm enjoying looking for new figures and investigating their value online; I've contacted a national distributor and ordered some pre-sales as a wholesaler; and I've been buying at eBay some figures that are extremely rare—or straight up unavailable—here in Mexico. They're still on my way, so I'll tell you later if that was a good deal.

Anyway, things are going pretty ok, and maybe if this keeps going like this, I could be able to make a living, and start living by my own.

Everything should be fine. But, as always, there's a part of me that doesn't let it happen.

Most of the times I buy a new figure, I have the feeling I made a terrible mistake, that I made a bad deal or bought a worthless figure, which I'll never sell, and I'll just end up with a ton of figures but no money.

Sometimes I get desperate and lower the prices so I can finally get rid of some perfectly good pieces just because I believe they're been a little too long on my shelf.

Also sometimes I make up straight up bad deals just because I get too desperate. Let me elaborate on this: a couple weeks ago, while I was looking for some deals at Facebook Marketplace, I found some guy selling some figures at clearance prices, so I got interested on a Ron Burgundy Funko from The Anchorman movie. He's in pajamas, like his little dog, Baxter, and I'm a big fan of Will Ferrell, so I bought it—even though I don't think people from my country really know or care about American comedians, so it was a bad deal from the start. The guy selling the Funkos told me to visit him at his house, and I went there. When I arrived, I noticed there was a sign in one of the windows. It read ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ collectibles. When he opened the door I asked him if it was a store, and he said yes and told me to come in. I did and I found a regular house with a lot of shelves filled with Funkos—and at that very moment, I came to the conclusion that was the life I wanted to live, finally I've found a job I actually want to do, but I digress. The first one I saw was one Midnight, from My Hero Academia. I asked him its price, and he told me it was a third of the price online. I thought it was a fake, but I checked it. It was in mint condition, and I didn't find anything that made me suspicions. It was a perfectly good figure at an incredible price. He, probably aware of my surprise, told me his family lived in the US, so he traveled there constantly. He would spend a couple days looking and buying all the rares and exclusives he already checked online, repacking them and sending them back to his house via FedEx or something. He showed me a picture of his last trip and his hotel room was filled with Funkos, hundreds of them. And that's why he could sell Funkos so rare in my country—but so common and cheap in the US—at those prices. I bought from him the Ron Burgundy, Midnight and Mei Hatsume—again, from My Hero Academia—and asked him for the prices of many more. He told me the more I buy the better the price he could give me. I went back home, investigated the prices I asked for, and only in 8 Funkos were worth buying. I came back and asked for them but some weren't there anymore, so I ended up buying some I wasn't really sure about just because I planned to buy 8, so I HAD TO buy 8, and obviously those ones weren't great deals.

I also tend to overthink a lot. Let me elaborate once again: a couple weeks ago I was looking online for a cheap Jiraiya on Toad Funko because they're really expensive and high demanded. I found one at an approximate of $100USD—which is practically a bargain here in Mexico; most of the ones available cost between $150 - $225. I'm about to buy it but I check first the Q&A section, and found one question for that exact day. The question goes as follow:

"Hey, what's the lowest price you can give me."

"Well, I can put it in $85, free shipping. Just let me know to change the price."

So, I typed a question.

"Hey, man, I'm the guy who asked you about the price earlier, and $85 sounds good. Can you change the price plz"

And he believed it.

"Sure, pal, let me change the price."

And he did.

Maybe all this sound stupid but, at the moment, I felt like a master negotiator—or a straight up swindler.

I was really happy.

After a few days I received the figure, and it looked great, so I post it online at $150. People were immediately interested, but $150 is a big amount of money, so I had to be a little more patient.

A week passed, and some guy contacts me claiming my Funko is a fake because there are some suspicious details in the box. I showed him pictures of the matching codes in the bottom of the box and in the bottom of the figure—which I've learn it's the safest way to know if a figure is a fake or not—, but he dismissed them and insists my figure's a fake. I told him I'm giving him solid proof of its originality, while he's only making assumptions. He doesn't reply.

But then I start to doubt. Maybe the figure's a fake, and those codes don't really matter that much anymore.

So I looked online, and ended up with more questions than answers—some figures doesn't have matching codes, and they're still originals, so there's no safe method to know if a figure's a fake or not except checking the box, and if it seem like a fake, it's probably a fake.

I started to feel the stress on my throat.

I grabbed my figure and compared the box with others I have. Now, I don't know if it's because of my anxiety or what, but the closer I looked at it, the more suspicious details I found: the white borders on both the top and bottom covers are really thin, and actually there's an empty space between the print of the figure and the white border; the Hot Topic exclusive sticker is a little lighter that it should be; the whole print is slightly darker that blurry

So that figure's probably a fake.

But, thb, that's not a big of a deal; I bought it online in a safe site, so I just have to ask for a refund—and I'm actually doing that, but I need to wait for the seller to reply, and if he doesn't do that, the site will take care of it. It's gonna take a few days, but it's fine.

It's fine.

Or maybe it's just my imagination because after checking it, I started checking the rest and every single one of them started looking like a fake to me, even the ones I'm 100% sure they're fake, bc I bought them from official stores that get them from official distributors.

But the Jiraiya's probably a fake one, though.

But then I start to think. What if everyone saw those questions from this specific post and now everyone thinks I'm a swindler who only sells fakes? What if nobody buys my figures anymore? I haven't had a sale today, so maybe that's the reason—even though there's no much sales on a Saturday, but still. Yes, I can just erase those questions and pretend nothing happened, but maybe that would be like I'm confirming that I only sell fakes. I could also just erase the post—I mean, I'm returning the figure—but it will all seem like I'm confirming that I'm selling fakes, and I'm only erasing the post 'cause I got busted.

And that exact same thing happens when I try to buy or sell figures on Facebook marketplace and people ghost me for apparently no reason. I understand the ones that do it after asking me what's the price of the figure—even though they can clearly see it in the post: its right below the name of the Funko—probably they think it's too expensive or something. But what about the others, the ones who ask me if it's available and ghost me even when I tell them "yes, it's available; or the ones who tell me they're buying them, ask me where we could meet and ghost me even when I tell them I could go practically anywhere; or the ones who have a figure I'm interested in, and ghost me after when I ask them where we could meet? Is there something wrong with my internet connection? Can't I send any messages? Can't they receive my messages? Didn't they like something I said—even though I'm not saying anything else that "yes, it's available," or "I can deliver it practically everywhere?" If they aren't that interested in the figure, why did they asked me if it was available?

And after that I start to feel the stress clogging my thoat.

Every single time.