VIII

So, after sending countless resumes to countless companies to only receive a couple calls and just one interview, I got a job. I'm a receptionist in a small hotel, which is really close to my place, so that's a plus.

And the job's really easy: there are just a few guests, so I spend most of my time sweeping and mopping the floor, dusting the furniture, watering the plants, etcetera, and slacking off. I mostly slack off.

But, to be honest, the real reason I got that job is just because the owners know my dad (yeah, nepotism, I know, but judging by how uninterested the rest of the companies have been, I really don't mind.) And it's kinda weird because they're really glad I'm working there, 'cause they know I can do the job no problem.

But they also really want me to work somewhere else.

"You're so overprepared for this job," they constantly tell me.

"What would be your dream job?" they constantly ask me, and they're kinda right and kinda annoying, tbh, 'cause, I think dreams jobs are really few and extremely rare, and, most people who say they love their jobs and/or have their dream jobs are just fooling themselves.

It's like if, I dunno, a 7-year-old kid tells you he loves studying and he's really passionate about school, and all that, but then he's always complaining about the teachers, and the homework and his classmates, and, if you check his grades, they're not that great, and if you go to his classroom, he's checking his phone or talking with his friends, or doing anything except what he's supposed to be really passionate about.

No, kids are way more honest. They'll tell you they hate school, or at least that they'll rather be somewhere else that there. And I believe 99% of employed people feel the same way, but just a few say so.

I'm sorry, but if you tell me that you really love being in an office all day long, or that you're super passionate about managing a business or something like that, I won't believe you.

And I could be wrong, though; there's gotta be someone who really likes that stuff, and maybe it could be you.

But I still won't believe you.

And that's because I'm uncapable of understanding that behavior, even if you're an big executive or a CEO of a multi-national company. I mean, you'd be probably happy with that job 'cause all the money you're earning and the success you're having, but that doesn't mean you'll be stoked about actually doing your job and handle all your responsabilities and all that.

It's like in politics: a lot of people want to be governors or presidents 'cause money and power, but not 'cause they love to be in meetings or signing documents or whatever.

So, why people tend to say they love their jobs?

I believe they do that just because they HAVE to be happy about their jobs, 'cause if they're not, that'll mean they'll be unhappy for the rest of their lives.

And that's really depressing.

But, anyway, I'm getting really off-track: the thing is that they think I'm really overprepared for the job, and I'm afraid one day they'll hire someone not that overprepared to replace me, and that's why I try to do the best I can—but there's only so much I can do in an almost empty hotel—and I constantly tell them I don't mind working there. As long as I make ends meet, I'm pretty ok being there for the years to come.

I just wanna work to stop feeling useless.

I've already wasted so much time.