The New Leaf

A beam of light squeezed through the window, awakening Janus from his dreamless slumber. Groggy, he opened his eyes to find himself laying in a small bed underneath a worn-out quilt. It was not his own. 'Simon must have brought me back to his home', he thought. After they left the valley, everything became a haze due to exhaustion finally catching up to him. For the past week he had been living a waking nightmare. He barely ate or drank, and the few times he did was because Simon forced it down his throat. Every time he attempted to sleep, all he saw were the grievous events replaying over and over again in his mind. When others tried to support him through his grief, they were met with silence and a stare that went for miles. He had become a shell of the affable man he once was.

Gradually, Janus crawled out of bed to peer out the window. The sun was past its peak for the day. 'I must have been more tired than I thought'. He could have laid back down and rested for a bit longer, but the pit in his stomach was making itself known. So, he exited the bedroom and walked into the living room, where he was met by Simon, who had fallen asleep at the table with an empty bowl of porridge sitting next to his head. 'I bet he stayed up all night to make sure I didn't leave again'.

Simon was a lean man, slightly taller than him at six feet and older by about half a decade. He had a thick, unkept mat of brown hair atop his head, which he grew out in order to cover his big ears. Despite his somewhat dopey appearance, his intelligence was high among those in town. Many thought he would move to a city, possibly even the capital, in order to pursue a profession fit for his acumen. Instead, he stayed in Crowglen, working in the fields like most other men who lived here. That did not stop him from using his mind, however, as his cultivation practices produced more food than those around him using less space. Yet, he did not remain here for the life of a farmer, but for a woman.

Janus looked to the fireplace across the room, where the rest of the porridge resided in a pot hanging over some smoldering coals. He poured himself a bowl of the cold sludge and took a seat across from his neighbor. The sound and vibration of his meal being placed on the table woke Simon up.

"Sorry I let the fire go out. I wanted to give you a warm breakfast, but I didn't expect you to sleep in this late."

"It's fine", Janus said, his voice cracking in the process. His period of silence weakened his vocal cords, making them feel rusty.

Janus brought a spoonful of the muck to his lips and swallowed. The porridge wasn't particularly good, which was made worse by its temperature, but his hunger overpowered his tastebuds. Scoop after scoop, Janus consumed the meal, his pace increasing over time. After he finished his bowl, he immediately when back to the fireplace for a second helping. All the while, Simon stared at him, contemplating his actions from the night before. Janus avoided eye-contact as much as possible, but he could feel his neighbor's gaze all the same. After polishing off his second bowl, he finally looked up and broke the silence.

"Look, I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Simon continued to stare him down, his face still as stone. He did not seem content with the apology.

"What else do you want me to say? I shouldn't have left town and worried you. I know that. I just couldn't stand being here anymore."

Simon raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

Janus looked down, realizing his slip-up. "I just wanted to get away from the town for a bit. You know me. I enjoy going there when I want to be alone."

Simon glared. "Bullshit."

"What?"

"You heard what I said." He reached into his pocket and pulled out an iron coin. THE iron coin. "Explain how this was found in the field downhill from where you were."

Janus stared at it. In the light of day, it looked absolutely unremarkable. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. That was enough of for Simon.

"What were you hoping to gain from flipping this?"

Janus, hesitant at first, replied. "I wasn't trying to gain anything. I just wanted it all to end."

Surprise flashed across Simon's face, followed by anger. "Gods, Janus, what good would taking your own life do you? I thought your parents raised you better."

Janus glared at him, his eyes starting to well up. "That's unfair and you know it."

Simon briefly showed a look of remorse, but it was replaced by the same hardened stare as before. "I understand, at least on some level, of what you're going through. I loved your sister. You know that. I also held your parents in high regard, so much so that I choose to overlook some of their choices given the circumstances. But those decisions kept you alive. So, if you want to throw away your life, that's fine. Just know that you're also throwing away theirs."

Janus sat there, hanging his head in shame. A tear rolled down his face, thinking of mom, dad, and Audrey. 'What now? What is there for me to do?'

Seeing the regret on his face, Simon's scowl softened. "I think you've wallowed in the past for long enough. It's time to move on. I will help you as much as I can, but to do that you must be willing to talk to me. Do you understand?"

Janus wiped the snot off his nose with his arm before giving a subtle nod.

"Good. Now, is it safe to assume that the coin you used is your parents'?"

"Yes," Janus answered.

"Ok. Next, you were planning on flipping the coin until you landed on the trunk, correct?"

"Yes."

Simon grimaced. "Well, I can understand why you chose to go out that way. Death would have come for you in an instant. Plus, from what I've been told, it's painless. But, as fate would have it, you did not land on the trunk. So, I have one final question for you: how many times did you flip the coin?"

Janus wanted to say that he could not remember, but they both know that would be a lie. Every soul that puts their life in the hands of Casus will remember doing so from that point until the day they die, whether it be years after or the instant the coin sits still. After some deliberation, he finally answered.

"Ten".

Silence filled the room. Simon tried to speak, but his gaping mouth only produced incoherent mutterings. To Janus, it seemed the phrase, "Fuckin' unbelievable" was trying to escape, which, while rare for Simon to use vulgarity, was completely justifiable due to the current situation. A faint smile appeared on Janus's lips. For some reason, Simon swearing was always amusing to him, considering how witty and well-read he was as a person.

Simon finally composed himself to speak again. "Gods, do you know the chances of that happening? The most I have ever heard someone flip is five times, and that was only one instance. To think you've done twice that and lived is incredible! This is truly a blessing!"

Janus's smile vanished. "Blessing? You think this coin gave me a blessing? After all it has done? All I wanted from it was to finish the job. But in some cruel twist of fate, it didn't, no matter how many times I tried. What did I do to deserve being spared? I was just a bystander to the death of my family. I did not help, and for that I should be alive? After challenging Casus ten times? It's like this is all a sick joke. This is no blessing. This coin is a fucking curse."

Despite the clear resentment his neighbor was feeling towards himself, Simon's bewilderment could not be contained. Yet, he contemplated what his next words were going to be, as to not anger him more. "Listen," he said calmly, "I understand your feelings towards the coins; I do. But what you possess is pure, untapped potential. If you choose, you can help as many people as you want. All you have to do is request the right abilities."

Janus was not convinced. "Power changes people. We've both seen it. The moment I request an ability, it won't be long until it changes me, too."

"But this can be different if you make it so. All you have to do is choose abilities that can only help people, not harm them."

"But how do I know what the best abilities are for helping others?"

"Leave."

Janus was surprised. "Why?"

"Crowglen is too small. The only people that live here are farmers, so any ability they think is helpful will generally be farming-related. What you need is diversity. Talk to people all over the kingdom. Meet those who have already requested abilities and see for yourself if they are worthwhile. If, from town to town, you notice a recurring issue, think of a solution."

Janus pondered his proposal. He had considered traveling in the past, but to journey across all of Avarith is not something he ever imagined. "But what if I want to stay here?"

Simon sighed. "Janus, you are in an incredibly unique position where you can help the lives of many people in this kingdom. I don't know much, but from the few stories I've heard over the last few months one thing is certain: the Kingdom of Avarith is struggling. Weynogarde has fallen and King Delamere is missing. With the capital gone, it is only a matter of time for the other cities to be ruined by the effects of the coins, as well. As for the smaller towns, most have some sort of trouble, whether it's due to outsiders or those within their community. On top of that, we don't even know how the other kingdoms are being affected by the presence of the coins. These are strange times, and people are looking for some sort of sign that things will get better. You can be that sign."

Janus sat in silence. He turned his head and gazed out the window. The townsfolk had already cleaned up the wreckage of the "New Leaf Inn" and were now preparing to rebuild. It was odd to him seeing how quickly they were able to move on. Here he was, finally talking to someone for the first time in a week while everyone else was mending his family's business, making it as if none of it ever happened. 'Dad would have done the same', he thought, 'he never procrastinated. He just did it'. He did not ask for things to turn out this way. Yet, he had nothing else to do. It was at that moment he knew he had his answer.

"What do I need to do before I leave?"