Chapter 40: Is it that hard to reveal yourself?

Hyuningkai was walking on the street with a big basket. All of the street lights were showing him the path clearly. But it looks like his face was brighter than those lights. He was wearing a white shirt which made him look like just an angel who came to earth not long ago. And his face was telling a story about how he fell down from heaven and now searching for a way to live peacefully. Suddenly his phone started ringing which startled him and made him take out his phone.

"Hello!" he didn't notice who called him but answered.

"Oi, Ning Ning! Where are you?" Yeonjun asked from the other side.

"Hyung! Are you at home? I've prepared food and covered it. It's on the table. If you're hungry then eat them. I prepared more food so that I can deliver them to Beomgyu hyung. And now I'm going to visit him and give him the food. He must be hungry and miss my cooking I guess." Hyuningkai replied in detail so that his brother won't ask more questions.

"Ah! Okay, then go ahead. I'll take shower first." Yeonjun hung up the call. Hearing HyuKa how he was caring for Beomgyu, he felt proud but jealous too.

"My baby has grown up already and started caring for others too." he chuckled while staring at his phone. But suddenly his smile vanished when he realized he shouldn't do these things, he should control his feelings and focus on his career. He should stop caring for Kai. Wherever he goes, whatever he does, Yeonjun shouldn't be involved and worried about. But when he didn't see Kai around, he felt very strange. As if he was gonna lose something and he'll regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn't take any steps.

_______________________________________

"I-I..." Soobin was trying to say something but he just couldn't. Beomgyu's pitiful eyes were asking him to tell every secret of his life. But he needs to hide himself. He needs to keep his secrets no matter what. He can't expose himself towards the person who he cares for. Because he wasn't a normal human. What Beomgyu wanted to know was beyond his imagination. And if Soobin exposed himself, Maybe he'd hate him and never want to see him again. He'll be lonely again which he was afraid of the most. He didn't think he'd feel something like this again. Even a few months ago, he felt it'd be best if he stayed alone for the rest of his life.

But when he saw someone was truly caring for him, he just couldn't stop himself but to care for that person. And now when he thinks, it was happening to him again, he was scared. He won't be able to take it if he loses someone precious again. But it was hard for him to lie to Beomgyu too. He never meant to lie to him but he had no choice. Though he knew Beomgyu's situation well, he just couldn't help but to lie to him. He came back to reality when Beomgyu shook his hand again and was called by his name.

"Soobin! You hear me? C-can't you let me be that friend whom you can share every little thing about you?" Beomgyu was still looking at his eyes but Soobin didn't realize it since he was spaced out all the time.

"Uh! I....." he was still hesitating to answer but suddenly he became serious and loosened his own hand from Beomgyu's grip.

"I-I t-think I need some time to think about it." Soobin replied. After hearing him, Beomgyu looked the other way because his eyes got full of tears. This person whom he cared for this much, didn't seem to care for him at all.

"I understand. You can go home now. I want to stay alone too." Beomgyu replied with a harsh voice. Though Soobin knew he just hurt Beomgyu and he also felt very sorry for that, he just couldn't take further steps to put him in danger. Soobin took a long breath and went to the door silently. At that time, Hyuningkai came inside and saw the two scary faces.

"What's with the heavy atmosphere here?" HyuKa laughed to cover himself as he was awkward with the situation.

"Ah! Ning Ning! Come here!" Beomgyu put a forced smile on his face and called him.

"How are you hyung? Does it hurt anywhere?" Kai asked while peeking at Beomgyu's every corner.

"Ah! I'm fine now though it hurts a little." Beomgyu replied while looking at Soobin so that he could know what he was mentioning.

"Ah! Where? Did you call the doctor, Soobin hyung? He said it hurts! You should go and call the doctor. I'll be here with him." Kai asked Soobin to call the doctor and it seems like he was in more pain than Beomgyu.

"It hurts right here." Beomgyu pointed at the left side of his chest and replied while looking at Soobin with hurtful eyes. Soobin also looked at him. He also felt very disheartened but there was nothing he could do to console the boy.

"Eh?" HyuKa was quite confused because he heard Beomgyu got hurt in his head but he didn't know he hurt his chest as well.

"YOU GOT INJURED HERE TOO!" Suddenly Kai shouted.

"Hahaha! Look at yourself! I was just kidding since I didn't see you for long!" Beomgyu laughed to confuse HyuKa but glared at Soobin to make him realize that he really meant what he said. Soobin turned around and left the room since it was too much for him and he needed some time to rethink everything.

"Ah! You scared me! I thought you had a heart disease!" Hyuningkai sighed and said.

"Now I'm relieved by seeing you laugh. I really missed you, hyung!" Hyuningkai said while taking out the tiffin boxes which he prepared for Beomgyu with extra care.

"Aren't you hungry? I brought some food for you. Eat well and get better soon. I need you at home. Without you guys, the house felt very empty." Hyuningkai pouted and said.

"Ah! Yes, I'm hungry. I'll eat them. But why are you telling *guys*? Doesn't Yeonjun hyung stay with you?" Beomgyu asked without giving it a thought.

"Actually, he just goes home at night and more often it's past midnight after I go to sleep and leave home before I wake up. So..." HyuKa was going to say more but he stopped since he shouldn't make Beomgyu worried about anything.

"Ah! He really lost his way." Beomgyu mumbled while taking the box of porridge.

"What?" Hyuningkai asked, being very curious.

"Nothing! He must be very busy, Hahaha!" Though Beomgyu was laughing, he was thinking about Yeonjun. "Maybe he is still struggling with his feelings and he's also confused about what he should do now." Beomgyu was thinking in his mind while putting the food in his mouth with a spoon.

"Ning Ning!" Beomgyu called him while spacing out.

"Hm?" HyuKa replied.

"Why is it that hard?" Beomgyu asked while thinking.

"What? The meatball? Is it hard?" Hyuningkai was confused because when he tasted it, it didn't seem so hard.

"Ah! No! It's not hard. It's delicious." he came back to his senses and smiled while eating.