TBBM XLVII. Red Met My Mother

"I deleted it intentionally," his face looked like he was burning inside. I saw in his face how he was uncomfortable explaining himself to me---but he just didn't have any options left, since I was being difficult. He swallowed a notch on his throat as if he was swallowing his own pride. His voice was very low, as though he was whispering. "It was your first time watching me. I was humiliated that you saw me fail. I didn't even want you to keep a record of it. You always thought I was cool. Failing miserably like that wasn't cool. Think about my pride, Hickey. I brought you there. I didn't even win for you."

His face was so close to me---close enough for me to see every muscle of his face twitching while he talked uneasily.

"If you're still mad at me, for I am a jerk, just punch me, hit me, do whatever you like. Just don't ignore me like that, it's exasperating. Can you do that?"

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I couldn't control my heart. It drummed heavily in my chest. I realised how strong Red's effect on me was at that moment. Everything he did, every time we were very near each other, it made me nervous.

"Hicks," his tone was becoming weaker and gentler. "Talk to me."

"I'm not really mad anymore," I whispered back. "Now that you explained it to me."

"Really? Are we good?" his tone picked up a bit. "Ouch!"

"What? What happened?" I inspected his face. He was so handsome up close. He could effortlessly knock me out of focus.

"My blister hurts from leaning over to you for long," he groaned.

"I'll treat your wound," the words slipped out of my mouth. "My mother's got a medicine kit back home."

His face brightened up. His eyes lit up with sparks.

"Come here," he grabbed me that sudden and enveloped me in his arms tightly, like some delighted kid. "You bloody drive me nuts, Hicks. Don't get mad at me ever again."

They lit up another batch of fireworks but all I could focus on was Red's scent. I could smell him through his shirt. He smelled so manly, but he also acted like a kid. I couldn't get enough of it. I embraced him back. I feared that James might see us, but I couldn't keep my hands to myself. I wanted his embrace, too. Was it just my hormones? Or, it really just felt good?

His heartbeat. I could hear his heart drumming loudly, blastingly. I didn't really like loud places; but strangely, that loud place next to his heart, I was afraid I didn't want to leave. His arms wrapped around me tightly, strongly, as if we were going to fuse into one. I felt safe.

+++

"Hicks," Red called as he drove. He was holding my hand. "What do you want to do this weekend?"

"Me?" I pointed to myself.

"Whoelse?"

"After volunteer-teaching, I'll probably spend time with James. Why?"

"What?" he pulled over to the side. "You embraced me like that earlier but you'll still go and see another guy? Unbelievable."

"E-embrace?" I started to be nervous again. "You-you embraced me---"

"You hugged me back," he leaned towards me again. "It means you liked me."

I liked him? I looked away. I shouldn't even be thinking of it. I had James by my side all the time---except lately.

"Red," I pulled my hand away. "I think that we're too close. We're probably close friends now but... you grab my hands like this and we embrace and you take me places... I mean... What I'm saying is, uh, it's not on me. It's on you. How can I resist whatever you try to do when you're much stronger than me? I mean I liked it when you're all nice and not mean to me. It feels good and I like it but... you see, people might think of it the wrong way. I mean, I just follow you around because you kept telling me you're my Master and I didn't want you to be sad and hurt but I didn't want people like my mother or our classmates to think that you and I are a thing, you know?"

"I used to hate it when girls kept yapping like that," he breathed heavily. "Why can't you just go straight to the point instead of going around in circles when you talk, huh?"

"I am?"

"Yes, mate!" he ran his hands on his face. "You could've just said, 'Red, I'm starting to fall for you. But I don't want to make it obvious. I need time'."

"No!" I disagreed vehemently. "That's not what I mean. You told me not to imagine. But now, it seems like it's you---"

"Stop hiding your feelings, Hicks," he rested his head on the wheel, tittering. "It's all over your face. I can tell."

"You're impossible!" I shook my head. "How can you talk to me like that? You don't even say that you're sorry!"

"Sorry-what? Where?" he turned my way and grabbed me on the wrist.

"See! That. You always do that!" I complained. "You always drag me your way then you almost always end up hurting my feelings. You don't even say sorry when you do---"

"Are you bringing up the past now?" his face thwarted in disbelief.

"Yeah! Definitely!" I kept talking, my hands were flying in all directions. "Remember when you dragged me to the mall with you then you kicked me out of your car? Did you even apologise? When you made me cry in your car, did you say sorry? When you humiliate me each time calling me 'Hicks' in public---"

"Hickey," he pulled both my cheeks with his fingers. "You---seriously are acting like a girlfriend now. You know how girlfriends like to bring up the past every chance they get? You're being like that now. I thought you said you don't like me, huh?"

"I never said that I liked you," I said, barely intelligible as he tweezed my cheeks.

"You keep doing this... it makes me feel giddy somehow," he couldn't stop smiling. "Stop now, if you don't want me to take you home."

"Why do you always tease me like that," I broke free from his grasp sheepishly. "Go straight that way. There's my place."

"Wait," he moved a little then stopped. "Did you tell your mom all that?"

"Which part?" I moved farther away from him. "That you don't say sorry? or that you bully me allot? or about the times you were mean to me---"

"Hicks, I don't really say the 'sorry' word. You'll just keep getting frustrated waiting for it---"

"Sure, I think my mother has to know that, too---"

"You're unbelievable," he slammed his hands on the wheel, half smiling, half frowning. "How much does she hate me?"

+++

We reached home at around 9PM. My mother was home making dinner when we arrived at our porch. She would have stayed out late in the food stall tonight but I texted her that Red was coming over to get his wound treated. Before I could even begin to convince her, she more than happily obliged.

Red had been having cold feet, hiding at the side of our door when I entered the house. He apparently lost confidence, bugging me frequently what he'd do so my mother would not hate him anymore.

"Hurry up! What are you doing? Come inside," I scolded him quietly.

"Jopet!" my mother ran towards me, beaming loudly as ever. "Where is Mr. Handsome?"

"Mr. What?" I repeated her.

"The handsome guy. Red! Did you fight him instead of bringing him over?" she started hitting my arms with her palms. "I told you I want to meet him! Why? Are you hiding from me now? I raised you by myself for how many years! Now, you go hiding men from your mother? What kind---"

"I'm here," Red suddenly appeared by the entrance, looking the palest. "Good evening, Mother."

"M-mother?" I felt like puking.

"Mother?" she covered her mouth, jubilantly. "Oh! It's so nice to meet you, Red, my son."

"Son!?" I screamed in horror. "Mother! He's not James!"

"Sssh!" she shushed me. "Be polite to the handsome visitor. I didn't teach you to be rude like that. Where are your manners?"

"It---It's okay, Mother," Red kept scratching the back of his head awkwardly, while occasionally giving me bad stares. "Your daughter's never rude to me."

"Of course," my mother sat him down for dinner. "If she was ever unreasonable, come here and tell me, son."

"I can do that?" Red's face started to brighten as he spoke sarcastically. "Actually, your daughter's hugely obedient, overwhelmingly nice and caring and a hundred one percent polite and affable."

"Oh really?" my mother almost jumped out of her seat, clapping every single time Red spoke good things about me. I wondered if she really believed him.

"Mother," I denounced. "You said you were going to interrogate him---"

"Hhhsssh!" my mother was bad mouthing me quietly. "What are you talking about? Red here seems to be one fine young man! Fix your manners or you'll see!"

Red flashed his tongue at me, defiantly.

I closed my eyes in defeat as I silently protested inside me.

My mother treated Red's back after dinner.

He took his shirt off confidently and I cleaned his two-inch blister while my mother marveled at his toned body.

"This is why you always slept over his place," she hit me again on my side.

"Mother! He can hear you," I murmured.

I could see Red's face laterally. He kept smiling in flattery.

"Don't hit her now, Mother," he chimed in. "Your daughter's really taken good care of me."

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