I knew exactly what I was doing. Shutting him out. It was unfair and I shouldn't but it was my knee-jerk reaction to this situation.
I'd done it to my family for years now because of my Gramma and Erica dying.
One of my greatest strengths and one of my greatest faults was analyzing. I over analyzed almost everything but because of it I knew some things that I would never have known.
Last night I had replayed the entire day in my head. At first Ainur led me on, making me think that he was a little senile or not as smart as El-kor.
'Ugh, I should've known better!'
He made me think that I was smarter and ahead of him when in actuality he was just building my confidence up so he could shatter it. I closed my eyes as I remembered the moment when he'd started to tell me in detail what would happen to Raph.
I'd had a nightmare about it. I haven't had a nightmare since Erica died. I would have vivid dreams about her being covered with blood, horrifying dreams. I barely slept and would wake up shaking.
Last night I had seen me sleeping in Raph's arm as he lay on his back. I'd turned and saw him gurgling on his own blood clutching at his throat. I looked up and saw El-kor, in his human form, with a bloodied knife in his hand pressing it to his lips in a silencing gesture.
I'd woken up then and checked to see if Raph was still alive,
'I hadn't told him he was safe!' I'd said to myself frantically.
But before I could roll over to see I felt his warm breath on my neck and I slumped back in relief, only to begin shaking in the next moment when I remembered the dream.
"Honey?" His voice woke me from my thoughts.
I blinked and looked up to see him standing near the door to the living room.
"Hey, that was Thomas. He wants to invite us to dinner tonight." He said with a smile that was slightly forced.
I nodded, "Hmm."
"You okay?" He came and sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around me. I wanted to push him away, so that I wouldn't miss the feel of him, but I knew that he would just be hurt.
He kissed the top of my head then released me but still held my arms and rested his forehead on mine. My breath hitched when I remembered the last time we had been in this position.
The party. Just after he'd kissed me. A warm fluttery feeling poured into my heart and spread to my chest causing me to smile a bit.
"There you are." I heard Raph say.
I looked up into those beautiful eyes of his and my hesitant smile grew so that my lips parted to reveal some of my teeth.
He hugged me firmly and let go for real this time, but his hand still rested on my shoulder keeping that comforting warmth in me.
"You gonna tell me what's wrong yet?"
There was no lying to this man. I could not keep a secret.
I shook my head and looked away. My eyes caught the Xbox controller and I happily picked it up.
I wanted to kill something.
"Where's Duma?" I asked looking at the loading screen of HALO.
That earned a pout from Raph, which was adorable.
"Why?"
I lifted the controller to indicate the television screen, "I wanna play HALO." Holding my lips in an "o" shape.
"Hm. He's at Mark and Nathan's."
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I think that he should move over there. They all like them and he would enjoy it better than living with us and having to pack a bag to go over to their house every week. I think we should tell him." I said as I logged in.
'ScarletKnife2244' I smiled at my tag proudly.
"Do you? But, I promised to look after him, he's under my supervision and protection. I'm not sure Alpha would allow it." Raph said while leaning his head against his propped elbow.
He liked doing that, I noted.
"But it's not like you've had your eye on him every second of every day. The only thing we do for him is feed him every once in a while and that's not fair. He enjoys his time over there. I think he'd be happier over there." My voice quieted a bit because I was getting less confident with my argument.
"Okay." Raph surprised me, "But we'll have to visit regularly."
I smiled and nodded.
I looked to see if Mark, Nathan or Bradly were online but they weren't. I slumped my shoulders and moved the toggle and pressed on the actual level I was on.
HALO 3. The one with the delightful, squid-like, parasite aliens called the flood. I twisted my lips in thought. I preferred duels and tournaments to the actual game but I was bored and wanted to beat something up.
"I could play with you if you like." I heard Raph offer.
I turned my head, "You wanna play HALO?" I raised my eyebrows in amusement.
He looked at me with a playful, chiding look, "I have played before."
"Yeah, but not against me." I held the controller up to cover the lower half of my face to cover the teasing smile on my lips.
Raph's lips curled into a smirk, "Well I'd like to try."
"Okay," I raised my head with an air of superiority, "Then prepare to be crushed."
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