Chapter.32: Confessions

Koutetsu finally awoke in the morning. His head was spinning from that dream, he couldn't remember what is was at the moment except for the side affects of his head hurting. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and eyes, he was about to get up, till he felt pinned down. His eyes darted to the left, he saw what was holding him.

Kaori was asleep next to him, she had an arm across his chest, the other on her pillow next to her face. One of her legs was across the top of his legs with the other snuggled next to his left leg.

Koutetsu couldn't believe what was going on, how did she get into this position?

"Kaori, hey, you awake?" Koutetsu couldn't speak a word clearly, he was stuttering in panic. Kaori groaned a bit, she was slowly waking up, rubbing her eyes. Kaori was half awake when she heard Koutetsu call her.

"Mmmh, good morning." She said in a barely awake voice.

"Can you get off me please?"

Kaori was confused, till she saw how she was positioned next to Koutetsu. Her face turned red as she hurriedly got herself off him, sitting at the edge of the bed embarrassed.

Koutetsu sat up, he was also a bit surprised as well.

"Umm, so, what happened last night?"

Kaori was startled for a bit, he didn't remember the panic attack he had. Maybe it was for the best, she didn't want him to remember what it was that made him into that mental state.

"I….I sleptwalked in here probably. I didn't sleep well last night night, I'm sorry."

Koutetsu didn't know if it was true or not, because his memory of the dream was temporarily blank. His mind had subconsciously buried it to protect himself.

"You're not mad are you?"

"No, it's ok, if you weren't trying to pull something on purpose it's ok."

Kaori could see his body shaking still even if it was a small amount of it. It was still bothering him even if he didn't realize it.

"Hey, why don't you take a cold shower to wake yourself up, I can make you breakfast."

"You can cook?"

"Not very well, but I can make you something simple."

Koutetsu let her do it, he was still feeling uneasy.

Kaori decided to make him toast and porridge. She was thinking back on his facial expression when he had his panic attack. She recognized it because she had one when she was younger.

'What was he dreaming about? He's been seeing the counselor, I thought he was getting better from what he said at school. That had to be something else that terrified him badly.'

She was slow making the food at the moment, she was thinking of Koutetsu's mental health.

Koutetsu was leaning forward in his shower as the cold water splashed on his back. His hands were on the wall, head looking at the ground as he was in deep thought. He was trying to understand what was making him uneasy.

Koutetsu tried to remember, he concentrated his thoughts on the memory from last night. The image training technique he used in sleep allowed him to remember everything did.

'Focus, on what happened last night. Focus on the opponent, I know it was Ryuji, I was training against him. But what happened afterward? Come on, concentrate, what happened?'

Koutetsu reached hard into the memory. He could only see nothingness in it. After taking his time to piece it together, a small figure appeared, it repeated the same words to Koutetsu.

"Blades, Twing Fangs, Mizuno Family."

The words didn't make sense to him, he tried harder to dig deep into the memory. The effort he was making made him see a horrible shadowy figure that lashed out at him.

Koutetsu stopped the concentration, he didn't want to see that again.

His heart started racing, his breathing was panicked and uneasy. The anxiety was getting to him, his flames were starting to come out on their own, If it wasn't for the water from the shower turning them into steam, he would have looked like a birthday candle.

Koutetsu had to calm down. He didn't want to cause worry for Kaori outside.

'Breathe, breathe, calm down, don't lose control. Calm down."

His breaths were slow, and deep, each breath had to be as zen as possible. The more he did it, the more his heart rate became steady. The small flicker of flames went away. He was calmed down now.

'What the hell was that? That thing? I don't know if I've seen it before. But it feels like I have. Just what was it?'

A knock was heard on the door. Kaori was calling for Koutetsu that breakfast was ready.

"Hey Koutetsu, breakfast is ready. Come out when you're ready."

Koutetsu called out ok to her. He decided to forget the situation for now when he was in a better headspace.

He ate at the small table with Kaori in the kitchen space, the table was big enough for three people at least.

The porridge Kaori made was nice, it was warm and went down smoothly.

Kaori was carefully looking at him, she was making she to not miss anything if he acted out again.

"Something wrong?"

"Hmm?"

"You've been staring at me for a while. Something on your mind?"

"No, nothing. Just appreciative you allowed me to stay over. Thank you for that."

Koutetsu knew she wasn't telling the whole truth. She was hiding something.

Kaori's phone was going off. She excused herself to answer it. The voice on the other end shook her, she asked to answer outside the house for privacy. Koutetsu could see she was bothered, so he let her out of respect

Kaori walked to the side of the house. She picked the phone back up to her ear. The voice was old, the sound of a woman in her late 80's, with the voice of a cold commanding boss.

"Are you free to listen now?" The voice asked.

"Yes, I am Lady Yozora. What is it you wish of me."

"I need you to meet me in three hours at our restaurant. We have business to discuss"

Kaori clenched her free hand. She knew where this was heading.

"Lady Yozora, is it necessary? I wish to live peacefully pursuing my education and dream. Can we talk about it when I'm older?"

"No. You don't have a say in the matter. A 'bastard' must do what they're told to you if you wish to stay in the family graces. Is that clear to you?"

The nails dug into the skin as she heard that. Kaori gave in and agreed. She slammed her hand into the wall of the house. She was going to leave Koutetsu against her will.

Kaori went back inside to say goodbye to Koutetsu, he was cleaning the dishes when she walked in.

"Oh, hey Kaori you ok? You look pale."

Kaori was silent for a minute, she couldn't answer the question properly without sounding defeated. She looked at Koutetsu doing her best to keep a straight face.

"I'm ok don't worry. Listen I have to go now. Something important came up."

Koutetsu saw it in her eyes and tone of voice that something was bothering her badly. He wanted to ask her but wasn't sure if it was a good idea. It may have been a personal matter he would have intruded on.

"Well, ok. I can call you a ride to your house so you can get changed. I'm almost done with dishes I can pack up some of the leftover sweets for you if you..."

Kaori walked up behind him when he was talking. She grabbed him from behind, her arms around his waist, her forehead snuggled on his back.

Koutetsu wasn't expecting that, he stopped cleaning the dishes and paused in the moment of her holding him.

"Uh, Kaori, what are you…."

"Please, don't turn around yet. Can we just stay like this for a while?"

Kaori didn't want him to see her face. Her eyes were filled with sadness, her cheeks a dim red from her emotional state. Koutetsu could feel it, she was hurting. He had never seen her breakdown before when they hung out. Frustration maybe, when she scored badly on a test or tried to catch a shoplifter.

This was different. It was the feeling he had before he jumped off the apartment building, the feeling of despair.

"Koutetsu, can I ask you something honestly."

"Yes."

"How do you feel about Itsuki, about Natsume, me? How do you really feel about us?"

Koutetsu was taken aback. He wasn't sure how to answer that. They all were important to him with both their good and bad quirks. Even if he didn't say it out loud, or got annoyed when they did something to him that felt like a troupe, he still valued them.

"Where's this coming from?"

"Please. Just answer me." Her voice was breaking as she asked. Koutetsu couldn't ignore that request now. It would have been disrespectful to Kaori.

"Well, I can't say for certain right now. I don't even know what I feel in all honestly. Itsuki's been my friend since we were kids. We may have been apart for a while after I left for the boarding school but she always kept in touch even when I didn't. She tries her best for me without asking for anything back. I'm comfortable being around her and she knows what to say to set me straight, even if she does do it with some violent means."

Kaori could hear his admiration in his tone, she wouldn't speak up till he finished.

"Natsume, well she's a big pain in the ass at times. She's always flirting or using her well-endowed assets to mess with me. She's always trying to get my attention when Itsuki's around. But, she's not an airhead like people think she is. When we do meetings for the counsel she's always trying her hardest to make sure the clubs are well financed, she listens to the girls' problems even when she's busy with mountains of paperwork she listens to every problem. She'll give up her lunch to someone who's starving while doing her cutesy girl act on someone she crushes on. I think compared to her I'm not that good at expressing myself, but, she's a lot more caring than people think. I think that's why she's become a valued friend to me because of how she can be herself even when others think she's different at times."

"And me?"

Koutetsu wanted to say the right words for her. He said what he thought of the other two because he was being honest. He wanted to be honest with Kaori, he didn't know how to put his feelings into words for her.

The warmth of her hug had clicked in his head. The reason she was next to him sleeping, he had that panic attack last night, it had to been from the dream he was trying to remember that spooked him in the shower. Kaori held him to calm him down, she stayed the entire night till he fell asleep.

'How could I forget that? Even if I didn't remember the dream I should have remembered her helping me. Is this why she feels so upset? Like I threw away her kindness? Damn, I'm such an idiot. At least the best thing I can do is be honest with her.'

"Honestly, I think you're amazing. You work so hard at school, and at your job, you're always putting everyone else before you. When you met me and Itsuki you helped her out when she was getting me clothes, you come by the cafe to ask about how I'm doing during your free time, but it's cause you don't like seeing me alone is it? I may have all of you as friends but I'm alone here in this house. I don't like admitting it, in fact, I hate the idea of admitting it. You came here to see I wasn't by myself. It may have been luck that Tatsuya and Erika came here but if they didn't I would have had you here at least. Yeah, I think that's what I think of you. Someone who won't let people be alone, that makes them feel wanted."

Kaori let out a few tears that hit Koutetsu's back. She felt so overjoyed, that she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Koutetsu, you said you couldn't get me a gift yesterday, but I think you have. I gave you a Christmas gift but can you turn around I have something to give you for an early birthday gift."

Koutetsu did what she asked. He slowly turned around to look at Kaori, Koutetsu didn't react in time, more like it was because he didn't expect it from Kaori at all.

Kaori leaned forward and kissed him. The kiss she tried in his sleep, the one she felt guilty of, she did it this time. This one felt right, it was an honest kiss from the heart. Koutetsu's eyes stayed open from shock, it wasn't what he was expecting at all.

Kaori stopped her kiss to look Koutetsu in the eyes. He could see she was happy while filled with trouble in them.

"Thank you. For at least letting me have this. You are a good person. Don't ever change that."

Kaori let go to grab her things, she had ordered her ride earlier before coming inside the house. Koutetsu watched her drive off, his fingers touched his lips remembering the kiss.

'That was my first kiss. In both lives, that was the first I've ever gotten. But still, why did she look so broken. Kaori, what was that phone call you got?'