Cool

She jumped onto the driver's seat and revved the engine. Not looking at me. My eyes still searched for hers. She wasn't having it.

I peeped outside glaring atje night sky, trees moving past us like in a movie, I smiled leaning against the window.

"I was raised by my single mum, never seen my dad, but when my mum got sick and health issues complicated her living with me, my aunt took me in, raised me like her own till my mum succumbed." I said in a slow voice still glaring at the sky. Reminiscent of the days my mum would walk me outside on the rooftop and point certain stars saying they watch over for me. I was sad and scared. I needed her most of all but she couldn't see it, I was just as weak as everyone else. Why must she misunderstand everything?

"So when I was fifteen I had learnt how to express myself in words, that's why I write to mitigate sad thread of thought coursing through me. I'm sorry it makes you feel like I am shutting you out, I'm just used to keep some things private." That's how I was raised by my aunt considering we were not that close for emotional vent.

She was now driving slowly, occasionally looking over and staring at me, at least she was listening. It was hard explaining anything to her, maybe I'm just an alexithymiac, I don't know how to really describe issues. Call it toxic or whatever but that who I am. I really get lost of words to say what's boggling my head. She can't really get it.

I'm angry most of the time and the only thing I have that is close enough to happiness is her, she should know this by now, I have shown her love, kept her beside me always.

"So most of the time I visit my aunt, because she became my second mum, always there for me when I'm in need. I love her like my own mum, my cousins are my brothers and sister, but there is this one cousin that is my best friend." I stopped and looked at her, her hands softly gripping the wheel, eyes trained in the road but ears inclined to my words.

Words hadn't come out of those lips, I was dying to just hear her complain at least, but she sat there glued, probably a bit shocked I had no live parents. It is what it is, we can't rewrite how the story goes, my mum died, my aunt stepped in, my biological father never seen him but this is my life and I'm not sorry, sad yes but unapologetic.

She hooted twice and my eyes saw clearly, I cleared my head and beheld the sight in front of me, damn we don't live in a mansion, where are we?

It's a posh residence. Muffin just smiled and pushed a button on a remote I had no idea she had, does she know who the owner of the house? My heart skipped a beat when the gate slid damn open for a better view, this was a damn pretty house, a mansion or a castle at that.

I collected my jaw from the floor when the car halted, "Welcome to my house" she said pressing the doorbell. Damn yellow light glowing on her face making her seem like an angel, like someone who drooped from heaven. Pretty.

The door easily opened and a middle aged woman showed up, she was polite and showed us in after a few moments of greeting and chatting, my legs wobbled when an old man probably in his early sixties showed up descending the fleet of stairs, art on the wall was magnificent. He smiled when he came closer and I saw there was some resemblance between Muffin and him.

I casually gave my hand when he offered a handshake, "You must be the boy in my daughter's story, I can relate."

What the actual f*ck? She had introduced me to her family already and I had no idea who they were or what they did, she was mad at me for not opening up and now we are in her house magnificently furnished and decorated with Chinese artifacts. How the hell does this world work around here?

I was known to her family but the family is unknown to me.

"We have heard so much about you" Her mum charming and very polite, pretty with brown eyes, seemed like age mates when compared with Muffin. I was feeling stupid to walk into this house unprepared.

I still hadn't got the reason why she'd surprise me like that.

**

This is the classic view of the night from a roof later when he disappeared while talking to my parents. I hadn't planned on coming here either bit it was a funny coincidence that we spoke with my mu and she suggested, without thinking I said yes, I thought it would be fine. To release the tension we both have.

He turned his head in my direction slowly, blinked twice and smiled. Then he did something really unexpected, he shot up like he'd seen a ghost or something, ran down the stairs on the side of the house, without a word jumped into my car and sped off.

**

What was she thinking bringing me here without a word, she wanted to surprise me, guess who is surprised now. She went behind my back, practically dragged me up her into her wealthy parents' house so that I could open up, damn I was doing a good job in the car when we came, I was opening up at that moment now it feels like I'm a fool.

I should have not trusted her when she said she'd drive if I knew her plans to dissect me in front of her family, I should have known.

Her car was super, jumping potholes as I waded my way out of the connecting road to their driveway, I was on full urgency. Not stopping at the moment, I sped my way back to the city.

I felt like I'd been stabbed, slowly driving the knife into my heart. I was actually doing a little more well than I expected till she showed up ruining my mood. I don't know what exactly came over me. Maybe I'd watched too many romantic films that play with my head.

I thought by taking things slow I meant slow. Too bad Muffun thinks otherwise, me not telling her too much stuff is keeping things. I just us to be happy.

I never want anything substandard, if only I had a wise girlfriend, not that she isn't, sometime reason goes out the window and she acts funny. I know I'd be the luckiest man alive.

I really wanted to play cool and act like nothing bad would happen but my anger got the best of me and stormed out before anything stupid could happen. Me running was just something I never expected I'd do.

I wonder what her parents say about us being together

**

She is the force that makes me wake up every day, my heart's chosen saviour. But I'm angry, too angry to let her be hurt by me, I know it's not right to even think of hurting her but that's how it is. Now I have to keep her safe from me. If she gets too close she'll get hurt and there is nothing I can do to keep her away from me.

Hope she forgives me.

Our love story written with fading words and colours invisible.