Chapter 6: A glaring problem

Aqua's pov

Stars. Stars are bright little orbs of light that dot the night sky, forming patterns in the once barren and lightless sky before merging to form a giant and beautiful canvas far out of our reach. But beyond our field of vision, far into the mysterious outer space, stars are actually giant celestial bodies with vast amounts of energy that slowly deplete over time. Once this energy has fully been used up, a star collapses in on itself in a giant flash of light called a supernova and dies. Therefore, in actuality, the pretty little orbs of light we see in the sky may seem like immortal, never-changing constants that grant us hope, but each time we see them, they are just celestial titans slowly burning out in order to shine for us. The sad truth is that just as many cultures in the human world are modeled after our surroundings, unfortunately, the "stars" of our modern world emulate and follow the same stories as these celestial entities, just on a lower scale. Our idols exert so much of their energy in order to be the light for us, to illuminate the darkness of the night, but who is it that gives them their light? See, the life of an idol is tough, they constantly need to spend copious amounts of energy to shine, before they slowly burn out and collapse in on themselves, ending their careers. However, unlike these celestial entities, the fates and lives of our stars can change, their energy can be replaced, through the support of their fans, their loved ones, and their colleagues. That's why I have to be the love for Ruby in this cruel loveless world, to replenish her energy so that she may shine bright. 

But first, I have to rid away the darkness that stains her mind, causing her to be unable to burn as bright as she should. 

'A star like her deserves to burn as bright as the sun for all to see, there shouldn't be any darkness in her life unlike her last. I will damn well make sure of it' I reaffirmed with conviction, determined to not let her life be a repeat of the last, which was filled with darkness because of my foolish actions. 

'I lied, manipulated, and cheated her and a bunch of others, neglecting all the love around me while cursing the world for lacking love, and eventually, I even got her ... killed. I'm not going to let that happen again. I swear it. ' 

While lost in my thoughts, I could faintly hear a chuckle in the back of my mind, pulling me out of my period of debilitation. 

'Intruder,' I predicted, the reflexes from my past life dealing with the many assassins and intruders sent by my father kicking in. 

Instantly, I tensed up as I released my hands from embracing Ruby, turning the upper half of my body and throwing a blind right hook at the person behind me, the owner of the laughter I heard. 

Yet, my fists only made contact with air, and upon turning around I found no one there. 

'Strange ... I could have sworn I heard some laughter ... Am I hallucinating?'

"Sensei, what's wrong?" Ruby questioned with a worried look on her face. 

"Nothing," I replied, casually brushing aside her worries as I turned back to face her, embracing her once again. 

"Mmm ..." 

From the position where I held Ruby, I was just tall enough to have my nose right above her long golden hair, allowing me to inhale all the scents of lavender that the remaining shampoo on her hair diffused. Her tiny body radiated off warmth, and her white cotton t-shirt was very soft to the touch. But arguably the most pleasant thing about cuddling with Ruby was the way it made my heartbeat. Right now, my heart was beating so hard that it may as well be an ancient war drum from China during the Battle of Red Cliffs. (Read it up, basically, my man was down bad. )

"Sensei~" Ruby whispered to herself again, trapped in her lovestruck trance. . 

'Heh, this ain't too bad.' I thought a slight small beginning to form on my face. 

'This upbeat tempo playing in my soul, this must be happiness right?' I asked myself inwardly. 

'not too bad.'

About an hour later, the movie ended and the credits started to roll. Yet, Ruby seemed to take no notice of this, instead continuing in her single-minded joys of being held. 

"Umm ... the movie ended, it's time to get off," I told her, my hands retracting slowly. 

"Nooo, just a little longer Sensei, hold me more," She pleaded in that angelic cute voice of hers, quickly grabbing my arms and repositioning them at their previous positions around her. 

'This is it. This is the perfect opportunity to confront her about her problem.'

Ruby or Sarina was lonely, has always been lonely. From the first day I laid my eyes on her file in the hospital all those years ago, I knew this fact. I called her parents every day from the moment I first met her, only to hear the silence of nothingness, the pain of being rejected. The parents who were supposed to give their little girl all the love and care in the world tossed her aside like some unwanted, defective product. It pissed me off back then, and it still pisses me off today. She was left there alone in the hospital to die, enshrouded by darkness to never see the light again. 

Then, Ai Hoshino was able to make some light seep through the cracks of her soul, allowing her to continue hoping, and dreaming. And that was what initially drew me to her, my burning curiosity of how a girl with such a disastrous life like hers could possibly still hold such profound love and hope in her eyes. It astounded me. But that astonishment quickly turned to love the more I came into contact with her. I got to know her cheerful personality, her bright smile, and her hope-filled eyes. However, deep beneath it, I knew in the pits of my soul that her cheerful demeanor was all just a facade for the darkness that lay beneath. Even when armed with that knowledge, I still let that go untouched, unfixed, and that resulted in her never being able to shine brightly in her past life. That ain't never going to happen again, I am going to make her the happiest person in the world, to bring a true smile to her face once more. 

Putting myself in her shoes, I think I would have fallen into a much deeper hole of despair than she did. I mean if my own parents abandoned me and forgot about me, and the two lights of my life suddenly disappeared, I would have ended myself a long time ago, losing all my hope to live. It's honestly amazing that she only made it out of all that mental trauma with the bare scratches. It's also one of the reasons I love her so much, the miraculous hope that persists and sticks with her even when she doesn't know it or wants it to. It just stays. It stays and gives others the power to move on. And truthfully, it just agonizes me to see her in such a state as she is, to have her illuminance tainted by her worthless parents, and pretty much life itself, which implanted a deep fear of loss in her heart. 

'But how can I fix it? What's the answer?' 

"Okay, I can stay for a while, but I can't stay forever, I will have to leave you at some point Sarina."

Hearing that, Ruby immediately perked up and turned around to face me, her eyes widened in fear and desperation. 

"What?! No Sensei! Don't leave! Not again! Not again! Please Sensei, you might die again. I don't want you to die, don't leave me!" She begged in a desperate tone as she became increasingly alarmed, the fear gripping ahold of her. 

"I have to leave Sarina, I'll be yours for the whole of today but I will have to go out tomorrow, I can't stay by your side forever," I reiterated. 

"No ... no no no no no no no" she repeated to herself incessantly.

"Why do you have to leave Sensei, I can provide everything for you here, I will make money somehow and we can just live together as a married couple, like we always dreamt of. Don't leave please ..."

"But then what about your dream of becoming an idol?" I asked. 

"Who cares about that?! I want to be with you Sensei, that's my dream. Don't leave me again, please ..."

"But the people need you, you have to step up to your position as a star. You are made for it. You don't have to choose me over your dreams, you can have both, I want you to have both. And I may leave your side for a while, but at the end of every day I will still come back to you, so what's the problem?" I questioned, trying to get her to face the demons within her. 

"But but ... you may face danger when you go outside. There are too many threats, it's too risky. What will it take to convince you? I'll give you everything you want, anything, just name it and I will get it for you as long as you don't leave."

"Sarina, it's okay. I can handle the dangers outside, I'm so much older than you, I know how to look out for myself okay? So don't worry about me, I'll be extra cautious," I reassured. 

However, upon seeing that I was not budging, Ruby visibly started to get more panicked, as she propped herself up, to the point where her chest was at my eye level. 

"Is it my body that you want? I'm fine giving that to you if you don't leave," she offered as she began to take off her shirt, revealing a little bit of her stomach before I stopped her. 

"Stop it Sarina, I know you're afraid. I know it's hard to trust me, but I won't leave you, not again this time. As long as you welcome me back home with open arms each day, I swear I'll be there by your side every day. All these fears are negligible, it's time to stop being afraid. I won't leave you," I promised, cupping her face with my right as I used my left to bring her into my embrace. 

Instantly, I felt a wet feeling against my chest as tears leaked out of my precious girl's eyes, staining the front of my t-shirt and moistening the skin on my chest.

 "Don't leave ... please ..." She begged in a muffled voice.

Using my right hand once more, I lifted her chin up gently until we were at eye level.

"I know it will take some time to trust me, but if you can't even trust me, who can you trust? How about this? I'll stay with you for the entirety of today, and tomorrow I will go out to do my work, and you can see if I will come back to you. Will that be enough?" I asked sincerely. 

I could see it within her eyes, she was fighting her inner demons.

'Just a little more. Come on, you can do it!' I cheered her on in my mind. 

"Fine, but you promise to return home tomorrow right? You better be extra careful outside, I don't want to see you in the hospital again okay?" She reluctantly agreed, burying her head in my chest once more. 

Seeing her come out victorious over her fears, even just temporarily, and knowing I have gained her trust for now, I couldn't help but smile. 

"Okay Sarina-chan," I agreed as I hugged her tightly. 

'Well it's a long way to go, but at least I took the first step' I resolved myself.

And indeed what a long journey it proved to be.