Chapter 19: And The Hammer Fell

Akane's pov

'Sensei ... Sensei ... Doctor ... Her reaction when she saw Doctor Amamiya's dead body. She's definitely referring to Gorou Amamiya. And Gorou Amamiya is ... Aqua. ' I mused while sitting down on a park bench in deep contemplation. 

"So she finally found out huh? And Aqua found out too ... they both got reincarnated into this world," I chuckled weakly as tears started to pour forth from my eyes. 

"I guess this means they're dating right? I mean ... seeing Ruby's far superior looks ... her confidence ... her beautiful smile ... what man would not want her? Especially given the alternative. I'm nothing but an ugly, manipulative bastard who does things behind my loved one's back. I don't matter, not to this world and not to anyone," I cried. 

Instantly my mind started replaying a reel of all the joyous moments I had with Aqua, him kissing me under the lamp that fateful night after finding his old corpse, him fetching me with an umbrella from work, us cuddling on his couch watching shows. 

'I miss him.'

I couldn't help but admit it. The soft touch of his hand, the moisture on his lips, I remember it all, so vividly. 

That day, in the warm rays of the afternoon sun, the black audio recording device in the cat keychain he gave me for Valentine's Day lying on the floor beside me. 

"How could I ... How could he? ... I loved ... still love you Aqua," I muttered. 

'I should have presented him with all the evidence, why did I hide from him? If I helped him exact his revenge on his father, would everything have reverted back to normal? Would I still be together with him? Would our love blossom even more?' 

"I really am a hopeless piece of shit aren't I? Clinging on to delusions that will never come true? Hiding my true self from others, trying to act selfless and moral when I control others to be my ideal version of them. What if revenge was the right path for him? I never thought of that, did I? I just wanted him to be the boyfriend I knew again. How selfish of me. I really am a low excuse for a human," I ranted while my heart ate me from the inside. 

Loneliness. The dark, endless pit of loneliness swallowed my soul, and sucked up all the happiness and hope in a vortex of broken dreams. 

What did I have left? A family that spared no thought for me? An ex-boyfriend who I still love who is dating my best friend? A best friend who seems to be going through something of her own? 

At least Ruby has Aqua to help her, who do I have? I wish Aqua was here with me too. I wish that just somebody, anybody was here for me. 

"I really am selfish aren't I?" I chuckled through the tears. 

With that, nothing was left. Everything bottled inside of me poured out like someone had just stepped on my heart. ( Comparison of heart to a water bottle in case you don't get it )

"Would all this pain just stop?" I cried at the unbearable pain raging across my body, "How can I get it to stop?"

And instantly, a thought floated into my mind like it did all those years ago. 

"It's my time again huh? I guess I really can't be saved, I'm just a hopeless case better off dead," I laughed, trying to distract myself from the agony deep inside my body.

"Might as well try one last time," I told myself as I pulled out my phone, and called the only person I held dear to my heart. 

*Call declined*

The screen immediately showed. 

Seeing that was like a confirmation. A confirmation that nobody in this world loved me. No one in this world cared for me. A confirmation that my life was better off as a red blot on the black asphalt road. 

"There really is no hope for me," I sighed, resigning to my fate as a worthless being destined to wander the earth aimlessly, lonely forever. 

"I am not going to curse myself to such a hopeless fate, my life was never worth anything anyway," I said while walking to the bridge where I tried to end myself last year. 

It was this exact spot ... those many months ago. I can still vaguely remember how it felt like standing here. The loud rumble of cars on the road, the distant horns, the flurry of colours dashing below me. The thoughts that ran through my mind were roughly the same as now, but it all didn't really matter since it was all drowned out by the tides of pain ravaging my soul.

"Well, I guess this is it," I exhaled, as I climbed over the fence, gazing down at the rush of cars below me. 

"At least it will be a quick ending, the only thing good in my life," I cried, whilst trying to smile through the pain as images of Aqua ran through my mind.

 "What would he think? What would anyone think? Would anyone even notice that I'm gone? Will anyone even care? Aqua and Ruby will probably live happy lives together, getting married, and having children. My death will probably slip their minds in a few days. Who knows? I might not even be on their minds in the first place. All for the best huh, that way I really will leave no mark on this world," I chuckled as tears ran down my face like many tributaries leading down to a stream that dripped off my chin. 

It wouldn't hurt to send one text to the guy I love right? If I want anyone to remember me, it's him. 

'Goodbye Aqua. I love you.' 

Sent

No reply, no bluetick, nothing at all. 

~haiz~

I sighed defeatedly. 

"What did I expect?" I laughed pitifully to myself. 

"Goodbye cruel world. Goodbye my love, I'm so sorry for being worthless," I shouted out my final words as if someone would have heard them. 

Rather, they were carried away by the roar of the strong winds that blew from the rush of cars. 

'Hmm. A fitting ending.' I thought to myself.

Then, I released one finger. And another. And another. Each time I released a finger, my heart beat a little quicker, and a strange urge entered my heart.

 'Someone please save me.' That little voice within me screamed. 

A whole hand this time. I was hanging on with my right only now. 

'Please.' 

Tiptoeing on the edge, I released another finger as I leaned forward to face the down to face the onslaught of rushing cars. 

'Someone please help me!' 

With three fingers, I was barely hanging on with my index this time.

'Please.' 

"I love you Aqua," I uttered as I released the last finger and closed my eyes, causing my body to plummet, the rush of wind, blowing past me as I fell to my certain death. 

Author's thoughts: I am dead inside, hope you enjoyed the chapter though.