29. Chapter 29

Maya woke up about thirty minutes later feeling not great. Her stomach was achy, and she was feeling nauseous. She groaned, trying not to move too much because she was worried she was going to throw up. She moved her good hand to try to wake up her wife and managed to wake her up but not early enough.

“What’s wrong Bambina?” Carina asked, waking up just as Maya threw up all the fluids she had managed to drink all over herself, “Oh, ok. You are ok.”

Carina quickly grabbed the call button, hitting it as she grabbed the basin with her other hand, putting it under Maya’s chin as she threw up again.

“Carina,” the blonde groaned, tears welling up in her eyes.

“I know,” Carina soothed as she kept Maya’s hair back, “I’m sorry you are feeling sick again.”

Just then, the nurse came in, seeing what had happened.

“Oh no,” the nurse said, immediately coming over to the bedside, “Not feeling well again?”

“No,” Maya said, leaning back against Carina miserably.

“Ok,” the nurse said, “Well, let me go grab a fresh gown for you and some fresh sheets and some anti-emetics, ok? Are you ok for a minute?”

“Yeah,” Maya said as the nurse left the room.

“I’m sorry you not feeling well, Bambina,” Carina said, kissing Maya’s nape, “Did you just wake up feeling sick?”

“Yeah,” Maya said, “Like I think I was only awake for maybe a minute before I got sick. I really thought I was going to be ok this time.”

“I know,” Carina said, trying not to let Maya know she was getting worried about her wife’s inability to hold anything in her stomach, “Maybe it was just too early for you to try fluids again.”

“I stink,” Maya said, looking down at her dirty gown.

“How about I ask the nurse for the stuff for another bed bath?” Carina asked, “It might help you feel better.”

“Yeah,” Maya said, “But only if you are feeling up to it. I don’t want you to wear yourself out.”

“I am feeling ok,” Carina said, “Actually, I am starting to feel hungry again if that tells you how I am feeling.”

“You haven’t been hungry in a long time,” Maya said as Carina maneuvered them so she could get out from behind her wife, “Do you want me to ask the nurse to get you something to eat?”

“Maybe,” Carina said, grabbing her phone, seeing a text form Vic asking if she was up for some homemade soup, “Actually, it seems like Victoria can read my mind. She offered to bring soup by later.”

“Good,” Maya said as Carina quickly texted their friend back before the nurse walked back in with fresh bedding, a gown, and some meds for Maya’s IV.

“Alright,” the nurse said, “Let’s get you some meds and we are going to hold the oral fluids for the rest of the day. Also, OT is outside and was planning on trying to get you in some clothes this afternoon. Would you like me to tell them to come back later when you are feeling better?”

“I am feeling ok now,” Maya said, “I mean, other than the fact that I stink.”

“Actually,” Carina said, thinking, “OT might be able to help you get a shower if you are feeling up to it.”

“A shower?” Maya said, “Can I even do that?”

“Dr. Grey and Dr. Hunt have cleared you for PT and OT,” the nurse said, “Including showering if you are up to it.”

“Then hell yes,” Maya said, “I want a shower. But I don’t think I can stand for one.”

“They will have a chair in the shower for you,” Carina assured, “And will teach you how to properly bathe. And if it is ok with you, I will help and learn so they don’t have to come every time you want to get cleaned.”

“Yes please,” Maya said, “But can I please take off this gown because even though I am going to shower, I really stink.”

“Of course,” the nurse said, looking at Carina who reached for the gown, “I will go let OT know they can come in in a few minutes, ok?”

“Thanks,” Maya nodded as Carina came over to her, carefully removing the soiled gown, putting it into a dirty linen bin in the corner of the room before helping Maya into the clean gown.

“Thanks,” Maya said, smiling at her wife, “Man, this all really sucks. Just when I think I am getting better, something always happens.”

“You are still getting better,” Carina assured her, “We just pushed your stomach too far today. Maybe it will get better tomorrow. Or maybe it will take a week. Remember, patience Bambina.”

“I know,” Maya sighed, “I’m trying.”

“You are doing well,” Carina said, leaning down and pressing a kiss into Maya’s forehead.

Just then, there was a knock on the door and in walked two women.

“Hello,” one of them said, “My name is Sophia and this is Jane. We are from OT.”

“Hi,” Maya said, “I’m Maya and this is my wife Carina. I hear you two are going to help me shower?”

“Nice to meet you Maya, and Carina, good to see you again,” Jane said, nodding, “We will be helping you to shower. I am going to check your bathroom to make sure we have the right kind of chair in there and then we will go from there, ok?”

“Sounds good,” Maya nodded as Jane went into the bathroom.

“So, has PT worked with you on getting out of bed on your own?” Sophia asked as she came over to Maya.

“Yeah,” Maya said, “Just today, but it has gone pretty well. Laying back down has been less than amazing though.”

“That’s ok.” Sophia said, “We know how to do all the same kinds of things as PT when it comes to getting you up and down. The big difference is they focus more on physically rehabbing you while we will be working more on function tasks like bathing and getting dressed and things like that.”

“So, can I start wearing clothes?” Maya asked, “Because these gowns kinda suck and I would like to be in my own clothes.”

“Do you have things with you?” Sophia asked as Jane came out of the bathroom.

“Let me see what Andy packed,” Carina said, going over to the bags.

“So, I want to go grab a different shower chair,” Jane said, “The one in there doesn’t have a back and with the abdominal injuries, I want you to have a fuller support. I will be back in a few minutes.”

“Ok,” Sophia nodded as Jane left, “So, how have things been going with your recovery?”

“Eh,” Maya said, “I am getting better in most ways, but I am still not really holding anything in my stomach which is hard.”

“You have been doing very well,” Carina reminded her, coming back over to the bed with a few items from the bag, “I found a t-shirt you like to sleep in and these soft shorts that might work and not irritate your leg.”

“Those would probably work just fine,” Sophia said as she looked Maya over, “You don’t have any damage to your shoulders right?”

“I don’t think so,” Maya said, looking to her wife who shook her head, “I mean, everything is stiff, but nothing is broken or anything.”

“I also found a button up, but with the fistula and dialysis access, I thought the t-shirt might be better,” Carina said.

“Good thinking,” Sophia said, “I am going to go get the nurses to come help get all your access sights wrapped before we start getting you up and heading toward the shower.”

“Ok,” Maya said, nodding as Sophia left.

“Are you feeling ok?” Carina asked, noticing Maya seemed a little quiet and distant.

“Just nervous I guess,” Maya said, rubbing her eyes, “And I’m kinda tired.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Carina said, “We can just do another bed bath and you can rest.”

“No,” Maya said, “I want to do this. I feel gross and I need to do this.”

“I promise after this, we can sit in bed and snuggle the rest of the day,” Carina said, pressing a to Maya’s cheek.

Just then, Carina’s stomach made a noise, concern crossing Maya’s face.

“Are you feeling sick?” the blonde asked.

“No,” Carina said, “No, I actually think I am hungry.”

“Go eat some crackers or something,” Maya said, “What time is Vic coming with soup?”

“Around 5,” Carina said, “So in a few hours.”

“Do you want me to see if the nurse will bring you something?” Maya asked.

“No,” Carina said, going and washing her hands before opening her cracker box, taking a few out, “This will be ok. It’s strange to actually want to eat.”

“I’m sure,” Maya said, “I still can’t imagine eating anything. My stomach is so blah.”

“It will happen,” Carina said, sitting down next to her wife, “Just give it time.”

Sophia and one of Maya’s nurses came a minute later with various tapes.

“Alright,” the nurse said, “I am going to get you disconnected from your IV lines, feeding tube, and dialysis and get everything secured.”

“Ok,” Maya said, knowing that she had been moving around the room hooked up to everything during PT, “Is it ok to disconnect everything?”

“Yes,” the nurse reassured her, “You are not going to be in the shower for hours so it will be just fine. I am going to tape over your IV lines and dialysis fistula and just put a cap on your feeding tube, ok?”

Maya nodded, letting the nurse do her job, “Can I get my stitches in my leg and stomach wet?”

“Yep,” the nurse nodded, “You can’t take a bath, but that’s not an issue here so you are good, and Sophia and Jane are great at making sure you are safe. You are good to go. Just call if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Sophia said as the nurse left, “Ok Maya, you ready?”

“Ready,” the blonde nodded, “I do need help moving across the bed.”

“I can help with that,” Carina said, looking at Sophia.

“Ok,” Sophia nodded, “I’ll take her head if you take the feet?”

Carina nodded and within a minute, Maya was on the correct side of the bed for her to start maneuvering herself out of bed. “

Ok,” Sophia said, “Do you need help?”

“Just, can you stand right there?” Maya asked, wanting some reassurance that someone would help her if she got herself into trouble like she did earlier, “And I need the cane that’s next to the bed once I’m up.”

“Of course,” Sophia said, “Whenever you are ready.”

Soon enough, Maya was standing up just as Jane walked back in with the bath chair.

“I am going to get this in the bathroom,” Jane said, “And do you have your own soap or we have some for you?”

“I have it,” Carina said, going back over to the bags, “I’ll bring it.”

“Ok,” Jane said, going into the bathroom as Maya concentrated on taking steps with Sophia.

By the time Maya got to the bathroom, the shower chair was in place.

“So, your wife and I were talking while you were coming in here,” Jane said, “And our idea was that Sophia and I will help you get into the shower and then Carina can help you with the washing up and then we will come back to help with getting your clothes on if you need us to. I explained to Carina the best ways to do it, but it can be tricky with your injuries. Does that sound ok?”

“Yeah,” Maya said, “But I am starting to get tired so can I please sit?”

“Of course,” Sophia said, guiding Maya over to the shower, helping her in and onto the seat, the blonde leaning heavily on the back of the chair, looking beat, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Maya said, nodding, “Just tired. I’m ok.”

“Alright,” Jane said, “We will be waiting right outside if you need anything.”

“Let me go grab some clean clothes,” Carina said, stepping out, not really loving the idea of getting in the shower fully clothed or of putting back on dirty clothes after.

“Is there anything else you need?” Jane asked, looking at Maya, “Oh, let me take out brace off. Dr. Lincoln said it was ok for you to shower without it.”

“I don’t think so,” the blonde said, still sitting in her hospital gown, wanting her wife to take it off for her, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Jane said as Carina came back in while Jane and Sophia stepped out.

“Ready?” Carina asked, pulling off her shirt and pants, slipping on some tight shorts and a sports bra just in case for some reason Jane and Sophia had to come in during the shower.

“I don’t even get to enjoy seeing my beautiful wife naked?” Maya said, seeing what the Italian was wearing.

“Not this time,” Carina said, “Just in case we need help.”

“But I am sitting here naked,” Maya said as Carina took the gown off of her.

“But you are the patient,” Carina said as she pulled down the shower head, turning it on without letting the cold water hit Maya, “And I work with Sophia and Jane on a regular basis.”

“So, because they are your coworkers, I don’t get to see your beautiful naked body?” Maya said as Carina adjusted the water a bit.

“Today, si,” Carina nodded, “Now, are you ready for a shower?”

“Yeah,” the blonde said as Carina sprayed her hair.

“Let me know if anything hurts or if you need me to do anything differently,” Carina said.

“Ok,” Maya said, looking down at her stomach as Carina washed her hair, truly taking in the extent of her injuries for the first time, feeling extremely self-conscious all of a sudden. She quickly moved her arms across her stomach which of course her wife noticed.

“Are you cold Bambina?” Carina asked, thinking that was what the blonde was doing, “I can get you a towel to cover up with if you are.”

“Um,” Maya said, realizing that was the perfect opportunity to cover everything, “Yeah, a towel. That would be good.”

She knew that Carina had seen all of this on her and that there was no reason she should care, but it still made her feel just uncomfortable with her body because of all the stitches and scars.

“Here,” the Italian said, covering Maya with a towel to help keep her warm, “Now, I am going to finish your hair, ok?”

“Ok,” Maya said, trying as hard as she could to pull herself out of her anxious thoughts.

“Your hair is starting to grow back quite nicely,” Carina said as she carefully washed Maya’s hair, checking the scarring from her brain surgery, “And everything is healing so well. Amelia did a great job. Does it hurt?”

Maya was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t even hear her wife talking to her.

“Bambina,” the Italian tried again, still getting no response, “Maya.”

At this point, Carina was getting worried, quickly going around to look at her wife. She saw the tell-tale anxiety ridden look on the blonde’s face which calmed her down a little bit that there was nothing physically wrong, but she was still worried, crouching down in front of her wife.

“Bambina,” Carina said, putting a hand on the other woman’s cheek, “Hey. Come back to me.”

“What?” Maya said, startling out of her thoughts, “What happened?”

“What is going on in your beautiful brain?” Carina asked, “And do not say nothing because I called your name three times and you did not answer.”

Maya bit her lip, not looking at Carina.

“Bambina, you have to talk to me,” Carina said, tipping Maya’s chin so their eyes could meet, “What is going on?”

Maya tried her hardest to look anywhere but at her wife, feeling tears welling up in her eyes as they sat there, Carina just staying quiet to allow Maya the time she needed to open up.

“I…I just…” Maya said, looking at the ceiling as she desperately tried not to cry, “The scars are…And how can you…And my body is just…”

“Oh Bambina,” Carina said, thanking the universe for the millionth time that she could understand her wife even when what she was saying would confuse anyone else, “Your scars and your body are so beautiful to me. Those scars, do you know what they show me? They show me of how hard you fought to come back to me. Of how many times I could have had to say goodbye and because you are so strong and such a fighter, you didn’t make me. They tell me how much you love me. That is the only thing I see when I see your scars, ok? I know it is hard that your body isn’t what it was before, and I promise you that I will help you get your body to a place you feel comfortable with, but not for me because I love each of those scars.”

At this point, Maya was sobbing, trying hard to stop because it was irritating her abs and making her ribs hurt.

“Ok,” Carina said, knowing this was not going to be the end of the conversation but also seeing and hearing the slight differences in Maya’s breathing and moving that told her that her wife was starting to hurt, “Can you try breathing with me?”

Maya nodded, feeling Carina connect their foreheads which always helped.

“Is everything ok in there?” Jane called just as Maya finally calmed down.

“Yes,” Carina called, “We are fine but not done yet.”

“Ok,” Jane called back, “Just checking.”

“They probably think we are hooking up in here,” Carina said as she grabbed a washcloth, wiping the tears off Maya’s cheeks.

Maya let out a watery laugh, cracking a smile as Carina kissed her cheeks.

“Now, I am going to finish washing your hair, and then we are going to wash your body and brush your teeth because your breath…oh, it is not good at all,” Carina said, wrinkling her nose.

“I mean, I did throw up like an hour ago,” Maya said as Carina went back to finish rinsing her wife’s hair, “I don’t think your breath would smell great either.”

Carina laughed as she finished rinsing the conditioner out of Maya’s hair before moving on to wash her body.

“Can I move the towel?” Carina asked, not wanting to push her wife past the point she was comfortable with right now, “Or, how about I start with your arms and legs?”

“Arms and legs,” Maya said, biting her lip, “Sorry. I don’t know what’s going on with me.”

“Bambina, your body has gone through a lot of changes,” Carina said as she started to soap up Maya’s arms, “And it is going to take some adjusting. However you need to do that, I will support you, but just know that I love you and your body, ok?”

“How did I get so lucky with you?” Maya said, wiping a tear from her eye.

“I ask myself that all the time,” Carina said, rinsing the soap from Maya’s leg, careful to not aggravate the stitches which she made a mental note to ask about later since they should be able to come out soon, “Alright. I am done with everything but your torso. Would you like me to do it, or you can do it with your good arm.”

“Can I do it myself?” Maya asked, biting her lip, “Sorry. I just…”

“Nope,” Carina said, “I don’t need excuses. This is all about you feeling comfortable. Here is the cloth. I am going to step out and grab your toothbrush. You tell me when you are done, ok?”

“Thank you,” Maya said quietly as Carina stepped out of the shower. Maya soaped up her stomach, trying not to grimace at the fading bruises, scars, and incisions that coated her torso. Once she was cleaned up, she decided to leave the towel off as she told Carina she was ready. The Italian didn’t say anything but smiled as she came back to the shower, handing Maya her toothbrush. Once she was done, Carina grabbed a dry towel, helping Maya get dried off as best as she could before grabbing the t-shirt.

“If this hurts in any way, anywhere, tell me, ok Bambina,” Carina said, pulling Maya’s t-shirt over her head, “Now, bad arm first, ok?”

Maya nodded, letting Carina guide her arm through the hole, glad the shirt was about two sizes too big because it made the entire process easier.

Once that arm was in, which was not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it was more sore than painful.

“You alright Bambina?” Carina asked as she got Maya’s arm settled, noticing she seemed a little stiff.

“Just sore,” Maya said, “But not too bad. Let’s do the other arm.”

Once Maya had her shirt on, Carina pulled on her own clothes before grabbing Maya’s underwear and shorts, making sure not to get them wet as she slipped them on Maya’s legs, pulling them up as far as she could while the blonde was still sitting. She then strapped Maya’s brace back on before stepping back.

“Ok,” Carina said, “I am going to call Jane and Sophia back in here to make sure you don’t slip, ok?”

“Ok,” Maya said, nodding.

“We are ready,” Carina called, making sure everything was off the floor so Maya didn’t fall.

“Alright,” Jane said, coming back in, “How did it go?”

“Good,” Maya said, smiling a little.

“Alright,” Sophia said, “Let’s get you up and back to bed, ok?”

“Yeah,” Maya nodded, letting the two of them help her back to standing as Carina quickly pulled up her shorts and underwear before Jane and Sophia helped her out of the shower.

As soon as she started walking, however, Maya knew she wasn’t going to make it back to the bed on her feet, her entire body achy and just feeling exhausted.

“What’s wrong?” Carina asked as Maya stopped walking.

“I…I can’t do it,” Maya said, “I’m too tired.”

“Can you stand for another thirty seconds?” Jane asked as Carina moved closer to her wife.

“Yeah,” Maya said, nodding, “I think so.”

“You can lean on us if you need to,” Sophia assured her, “We’ve got you. Are you dizzy or anything?”

“No,” Maya said, “I just don’t think my abs or leg is going to go any more.”

“That’s ok,” Carina said, “I am glad you told us.”

Jane came back in with a wheelchair, helping Maya get seated before pushing her back to the bed.

“Can you get back up to get into bed?” Sophia asked, Maya thinking for a second before nodding.

“Alright,” Sophia said, “Just straight up and then sit. Can you lay back down by yourself?”

“Not really,” Maya said as she held a pillow to her abdomen.

“Ok,” Jane said as she moved the wheelchair back while Sophia helped Maya sit, “We will get you back down. Give use one second, ok.”

Maya nodded as Sophia and Jane got into position. Once she was laying back down, Maya let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding.

“Alright,” Sophia said, “You did really well. We will be back tomorrow to work on more skills, but you did really well today.”

“Thank you,” Maya said, nodding as they left.

“How are you feeling?” Carina asked, grabbing her box of crackers and a bottle of her rehydration solution before climbing into bed.

“Tired,” Maya said, “Will…will you hold me again?”

“Of course,” Carina nodded, grabbing the remote to sit the bed up. Just as the Italian got them into position, Maya’s nurse came back in.

“I am just going to get everything hooked back up,” the nurse said, “How was the shower?”

“It feels good to be clean,” Maya said sleepily, “Are you the one who changed the sheets?”

“I am,” the nurse nodded, smiling as she plugged Maya’s lines back in, restarting the IVs and feeding tube and dialysis line.

“Thank you,” Maya said, letting herself relax back against Carina who was playing with her hair.

“Of course,” the nurse said, “Do you need anything? Pain meds or anything? That was a lot of work.”

“I think I’m ok,” Maya said, “I’m achy and tired, but the pain is ok.”

“Alright,” the nurse said, looking to Carina, knowing that she would know best if Maya was telling her the truth, the Italian nodding in agreement with her wife, “Well, if you need me, just call. Get some rest, ok? And Carina, I see you are eating again? Are you feeling better?”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “My stomach is still not quite 100%, but my appetite is coming back and I am feeling much better.”

“Good,” the nurse said, “Well, I will let you both rest.”

“Thank you,” Maya mumbled, already almost asleep, thoroughly worn out by all the work the shower had been both mentally and physically, “What time is PT?”

“Why don’t we just let you sleep and see what happens when you wake up?” Carina said, knowing Maya liked to push herself, but that she needed to let her body rest to heal, “Just rest, ok?”

“Wake me up for therapy,” Maya whispered as she fell asleep.

Carina shook her head, deciding to let Maya get into a deeper sleep before calling the nurse and asking her to cancel her wife’s evening PT session because she knew that all that was going to happen was frustration from that. Also, she knew Vic was stopping by later, and she wanted Maya to be able to enjoy that without being cranky and frustrated. Sure, she knew Maya might be a little bit upset with her, but it was what was best for her in the long run.

For now, though, she was just going to sit here with her wife sound asleep in her arms and try not to worry too much about what was going to happen later.