Back From a Far Away Place(1)

Author: Ni Hai

I had a crush on an uncle for nine years. I was tortured by how people looked at me in the secular world.

Last week, I confessed my love to him, but he refused me. This week, he brought his new girlfriend to my house for dinner.

When he went to the bathroom, I blocked him and asked, "Did you find a girlfriend so that I could give up?"

He answered peacefully, "Because my heart is vacuous."

1

Starting from the time when I was a freshman, I had a crush on Adrian Lawson.

At that time, he was 35 years old. He came and went freely with his SLR camera. Traveling around the world, he shot many photos that were highly praised by other people.

I was also studying photography. I heard his legends and admired him. I wanted to be his pupil, but I dared not say it directly, for fear that it might be a burdensome relationship for him.

My method was the stupidest. Whenever I had time, I would go to see him with my camera.

He usually crossed me out. Most of the time, I was the only one talking as if I was entertaining myself.

Three months later, one sentence I said was probably to the point. Finally, he was willing to talk to me about photography.

However, he seemed to be in a bad mood that day. His eyes were cast down, and his expression was indifferent.

The cold white light shone down on his angular face. He seemed to have experienced the vicissitudes of life. His past seemed to be filled with stories.

I was deeply attracted to him. The feeling was stronger and stronger.

Later on, I really loved photography and devoted myself to studying it. I followed his path and enjoyed the scenery he had seen.

Even if I was not talented, I was persistent.

He had never praised me, nor did he acknowledge he was my teacher, but he was willing to talk more to me.

The common topics between us were very precious. I cherished them very much.

But not long after, he suddenly gave up being a photographer and went into business. I didn't know the reason.

I really couldn't bear smelling the stink of money on him.

When my father knew it, he sighed with emotion and chatted with Adrian for a long time.

He turned to look at me. His eyes were calm as he said, "Samantha Tinsley is quite talented. She should be able to follow this road further than me."

I was overwhelmed by flattery. My heart was beating like a drum, and I couldn't stop smiling.

At that time, I really thought I could win his heart.

2

Then why couldn't it be me? I was also...

I lost control of my emotions.

Most of the time, it was me who was with him these years.

I cared the most about him.

But why did he choose to love another woman when I was waiting for him to love me?

Before I could finish my words, my father walked out of the corner of the stairs. His face was very dark.

"Adrian, you can leave. I need to deal with a family issue. It's not convenient for outsiders to be here."

I looked at Adrian for help. I was not afraid, but I wanted to hear what he would say.

He could either defend me or reprimand me. At least he should say something. Otherwise, my affection for him would completely become a monologue.

But he didn't even take a look at me. Holding his girlfriend who had just arrived, he left without looking back.

My father was so angry that the muscles on his face were trembling. "You'd better forget about your dirty thoughts. I'm not dead yet!"

I couldn't retort, but I refused to admit my fault.

My father took out his belt and wanted to beat me.

At this critical moment, someone knocked rapidly on the door, as if he would directly kick the door open.

My heart was full of expectations. I rushed over to open the door eagerly.

But it was not him.

Waves of disappointment were surging in my heart.

The man coming was a client that my father couldn't tackle before. Now he was asking my father out to talk about cooperation.

Behind the coincidence, was there anyone making any arrangements?

I kept carefully the glimmer of hope in my heart and tried to convince myself with a piece of evidence.

Before I went out, my father gave me a warning sternly. "Save face for everyone. Do you hear me?"

Yes, they all wanted to save face.

Only I lost my self-esteem due to my affection, but no one cared about it.

I tossed and turned in bed at night and couldn't fall asleep. I couldn't help looking for bits of clues from the happenings in the past.

It was too painful. I put on heavy makeup which was suitable for disco dancing and went out.

In a crowded place, loneliness was no longer so terrible.

I didn't expect to meet Adrian there.

He stopped me at the entrance of the bar. There was a cigarette in his mouth and his fair face looked particularly cold under the light. Lazily, he said, "It's too late. Go home."

"Sorry, but I don't know you. Please step aside." Secretly gritting my teeth, I was full of anger.

If a man in his forties was not asleep at this time, he would get bald sooner or later.

As I spoke, I tried to walk past him and go inside.

He took a step back and continued to stand in my way. This time, we stood closer and I could clearly smell the faint scent of wine from him.

He rarely drank. I knew that.

So, what was he dejected for?

Adrian took a drag on his cigarette and narrowed his eyes slightly in the pale smoke. His style was decadent but handsome.

The next moment, he moved his feet slightly and leaned over. His breath was very hot. "How to coax a child who is angry?"

My mind was blank. I didn't come to my senses for a long time. I hurriedly looked away and stabilized my mind. "Adrian, what are you doing on earth? Don't tease me over and over again."

He chuckled. Then he lost his temper, which was rare. "Samantha, this society is very dangerous. You should not only think about love."

When Adrian was a photographer, his aura was very powerful. One glance from him could scare a person to shut up.

In other people's eyes, he was a danger.

When he did business these years, he became gentle and reserved. His powerful aura was usually restrained. Although he still did not talk much, he was very tolerant and casual in dealing with people. He had never forgotten himself or pestered another person as he did today.

I hesitated for a while and then I couldn't help asking, "Do you care about me?"

I didn't know whether it was my illusion, but I seemed to see his eyes flashing with panic.

"Don't think too much. I'm an elder." He rubbed the top of my head with his other hand, putting on the airs of an elder comforting his junior who was immature.

"Well." I was ungrateful. I pried open his fingers one by one and spoke from between my teeth. "I only think about love. You'd better stay away from me. I'm afraid I'll pester you."

Probably he was scared by the words "pester you".

This time, he spoke no more. He stared coldly at the street and let me go.

The lights were dim, and the music was deafening.

Sitting at the bar counter, I drank one glass after another. When I left, I was a little drunk and couldn't walk normally. I tripped at the door and fell into the arms of a man.

Before I could react, I was pulled away by someone else.

I opened my eyes wide and looked over. In my blurry vision, a man seemed to be very familiar to me. Although I couldn't tell who he was, I just wanted to get closer and closer to him.

The man's breathing grew heavy. He said in a hoarse voice, "Don't move."

"Then can you be my boyfriend?" I hooked his chin and kissed him without warning. The kiss only lasted one second. "Even if it's only for one day.

"I had a crush on you for so many years. Can you just be my boyfriend for a day?"

What happened next left me with a shallow impression.

But I firmly believed that the man was Adrian.

I woke up the next day in a double room in a hotel. I rubbed my swollen head and heard a man's voice before I was fully awake.

"You're awake?"

"Adrian."

I answered him and sat up. However, when I saw the man, I was totally stunned.

It was not Adrian, but a young man who was a stranger.

My heart sank and even my fingertips were trembling. "It was you last night..."

I simply couldn't say the latter half of the sentence.

He handed me a bottle of pure water and said, "You drank a lot last night and threw up several times. Have some water first. You'll feel better."

3

When I finally left the hotel, I was still confused.

All that happened last night became an unrealistic dream.

Was I so eager to make out with Adrian?

"Shall I send you back?"

The boy was following me silently. When he saw that I almost tripped over the stairs, he quickly rushed over to support me.

I swiftly avoided his touch and looked warily at the people walking by. "No! You... Don't follow me!"

He understood that I didn't want other people to see us, so he said nothing more and took a step back to keep a distance from me.

I calmed down a little and quickly walked to the side of the road. Before I got in the car, I took a quick look at the boy's face.

His facial features were handsome and clean-cut. Alas... I felt guilty as if I had ruined a child from a good family.

When I got home, I couldn't find my key.

I couldn't get in, nor was there anyone answering the door. So I could only sit by the flower bed downstairs and stare blankly.

After some time, I was suddenly enveloped by a shadow.

As I looked up, I found the sun too bright. The man had a deep outline and his eyebrows were tall. When he narrowed his eyes slightly, the wrinkles around them showed a hint of unrealistic tenderness.

I couldn't say a word for a long time. I simply kept my head raised and immersed myself in my own world.

By the time I came back to my senses, he had already bent down to look straight into my eyes. He touched my forehead with his hand to check my temperature.

"What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?"

I nearly cried when I heard those few words. "No."

Adrian paused for a moment and said, "Take good care of yourself. Don't stay up late. Don't drink."

I answered casually and didn't want to speak again.

However, he simply ignored my coldness and even sat down beside me.

"I had lunch with your parents, and I've just sent them home. Your father has stopped blaming you. I've explained to him clearly."

I stopped breathing for a moment. "Well, is that so? What did you say? Did you say that I was pestering you and you abided by your duty? Then, did you coax him with a few more orders?"

He laughed as if he hadn't noticed the sarcasm in my words.

After sitting for a while longer, he sighed extremely lightly. Then he stood up and bid me farewell. "Go upstairs. The sun burns here."

Somehow, these words made me extremely sad. I really wanted to hold his hand and ask him to stay with me for a while longer.

But when I thought of what had happened last night, I felt the words stuck in my throat.

After struggling in my heart for a long while, I quickly caught up with him, taking advantage of the impulse I had. "Uncle Lawson, I'll stop being willful."

I hadn't called him uncle for many years. I either called him my teacher or secretly called him Adrian.

I believed he understood the meaning of my words.

I would stop being willful. I would stop hiding it from everyone and loving him secretly. I would stop sacrificing so much for something I couldn't reach. I would stop moving forward with a heavy burden on a journey without a destination.

I would let you go and also let myself go.

Adrian's slender shoulders were stretched straight. He replied lightly with an "Okay" and left at a quick pace.

Soon he was completely out of my sight.

In an instant, the entire scenery lost its color due to his absence. The world had become dull and boring.

When I got home, I wanted to go back to my room immediately and hide away, but I was stopped by my mother.

"Why didn't you come home last night?"

I squeezed out a smile and said, "My friends and I gathered together. We were too happy and forgot the time."

She bit her tongue for a while. Then, she patted me on the shoulder without asking any more questions.

When our family had dinner in the evening, I continued to pretend that nothing had happened and everything was peaceful.

My father suddenly put on the air of the head of the family and gave me an order in a tone of notification. "Dress up a little tomorrow and go to a dinner party with me. I have a friend whose son is very excellent."

My hand froze in the air while picking up food. My father continued, "Samantha, you should be more sensible."

Yes, I should be more sensible. My life should not be a joke.

How disappointed would they be in that way?

They just hoped that I could steadily abide by the rules in an unpredictable future.

I continued to have dinner calmly. I couldn't even be bothered to reveal any more emotions. "Okay."