<Volume One Sidestory: Neckbeard Hanma>

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-Year 20XX.-

-'BOOSTO, BOOSTO, BOOSTO-!'-

-'DORAGON BOOSTO!'-

-CLICK!, CLICK!, CLICK!-

"Ugh…. What a 'Beta' male, man! Why doesn't he get all of those girls that are clearly interested in him? That's clearly what I would do."

Sitting behind a screen flailing about in barely constrained rage was an overweight man with facial hair that traveled way past his neck in an unhygienic, unshaven, and unkempt fashion.

He was currently watching one of his favorite anime series about a perverted young man and his super-powered dragon best friend.

He quite enjoyed the anime for the brilliant plot it had, the purposeful prose, the well-crafted storylines with interesting themes, and engaging character develop-

-Okay, okay, enough bullshit.

The chicks were hot, and that was why he was watching it. End of story.

Truthfully though, he enjoyed it solely because of the various 'waifus' that the show could offer, from busty babes of different fantasy races; such as busty cat-girl babes, to not-so-busty cat-girl babes who probably would land many degenerates inside of a cell if they were to openly express their interest in these underage looking girls openly.

You see, the unkempt man considered himself not just a mere fan, but a cultured connoisseur that appreciated 2D-girls and felt that they were vastly superior to 3D-girls in real life. He also believed that all 3D-girls had bad personalities and would age poorly as they would always eat hot chip, lie and fawn over the popular guys instead of a true man such as himself.

Though he felt that love and emotions were nothing but a needless chemical byproduct of humanity's need to pass their legacies, when asked about why he developed an interest in underaged anime girls, he would fly off the handle, violently rebuking them and calling them 'Beta' males who were worried about computer pixels on the internet, saying that since it was a picture on the interwebs it has no age, therefore making it 'A-OK' in his eyes.

"Alright, alright okay, so you're saying that the pictures have no age because they're just inanimate pictures, right?" -A random player he came across while playing video games asked him.

"It seems that your ears do work, after all, I guess for casual normie scum you are quite capable of intellect." He oh-so-gracefully responded.

"So in that case, out of all the pictures you could choose from to blow your load over, why would you go out of your way to pick the one that looks like a little girl then?" -The random player asked once more.

"…"

After blowing his fuse once again and yelling a vast amount of derogatory curses and slurs at that person, he deftly blocked them and that was the last time he ever spoke to them.

It was one of the many things he hated; People not making an effort to understand his emotions.

And another thing that he hated the most was the protagonists of several of his anime series not being 'Alpha' enough for his liking.

"Uhhhh, I'm tired of these 'goody-two-shoes-bitch-boy' protagonists in my anime damnit! Can't we get some real 'Alpha' male characters like yours truly?" He said as he scratched his greasy lice-filled head agitatedly.

He did not like weak 'Beta' males, nor weak-willed men, and his type was only the 'dark-badass-cool-guys' who gave 'no shits' and weren't afraid to kill and take any woman they want.

He had strict guidelines on how men should act and what his favorite type of man was and hated to see anything other than what he liked, to which he would then resort to showering them with insults.

-But if he's so interested in women and 2D ones at that, why does he care so much about how other men live and express themselves in their own lives, you may say?

And well my friend… we don't know.

-BRUSH-

Brushing of the mountain of Ch**to and D*rito dust off of his body, he rolled the chair over to another empty bottle to fill it up with a strange viscous yellow liquid the man labeled as 'GAMER FLUIDS(TM)' as he didn't want to get up and use the toilet at all.

Looking at the walls, one could see that they were plastered with anime pictures of under-aged-looking girls in compromising positions as the entire atmosphere of the room painted a not-so-welcoming vibe.

It was well past the 21st century and he was spending it watching Y**tube.

He despaired over the fact that the girls didn't like him because he spent all his day inside and doing everything but bathing but he knew that that reason was bullshit.

He knew deep down inside that they were only interested in six-foot-tall felons with bastard kids out of wedlock.

'Those whores can't handle a real guy like me.' He regularly told himself.

He had no job and felt that he was discriminated against because he was an 'Alpha' male gamer and that those 'Beta' males could not comprehend his sheer aristocracy.

However, there was one pleasure in his life.

And that was his internet 'waifus', and donating to the tw*tch girls, camgirls and VRTubers.

But only the female VRTubers, not the male for obvious reasons. After all, appreciating anything male was 'super gay', especially complimenting your bro at the gym, which he never went to. He was too good for that.

"Ahhh~ Daisuki desu yo, you can steal my heart if you wanna my little pirate..." He moaned in pleasure.

Clicking the mouse while he used his keyboard furiously, a notification popped up that filled him with even more immense pleasure as his grin grew till it almost split his face.

-'MOJO-BOYO HAS DONATED $100, 000!'-

You have entered the donation hall of fame!

1-Mojo-Boyo: $1, 750, 000

2 KingOfSimpLand: $1,000

3 ManOfCulture420.69: $100

4 TrueDegenerate: $75

5 ChadAlphaMaleGamer: $25

It was a 'Virtual Internet' personality, one of his 'waifus', and he had just donated quite a lot of money to, which in return she had blissfully sent him straight to 'Pleasure Heaven' by gratefully thanking him in surprise.

The experience for him was so heartwarming that he started crying whilst touching himself.

'Sniff, sniff… All I need is you, darling…'

And who was this man?

Many may not know, but this man was none other than our main character Myoujou.

Realizing that he did not want to be a slave to the world he started living for himself and only himself.

And so he started his new life as a NEET.

'Not in Education, Employment, or Training.'

-SLAM!-

Suddenly, the door slammed open, flying off of his hinges as it somehow snapped into two at the same time.

"Myoujou-! What the hell are you doing-!" The voice belonged to a tall man who was incredibly muscular with thick red locks framing his face and violent maroon eyes that seemed absolutely furious if the expression on his face was anything to go by.

It was none other than his father, 'The Ogre, Yujiro Hanma' who also went by the moniker; 'The Strongest Creature In The World'.

Truly, even physics itself bows down before the mighty ogre.

"Get out of my room dad, can you see I'm totally poggers with my 'waifu'?!" Myoujou yelled.

"Fuck that bullshit! What the hell are you even doing, huh?!" Yujiro yelled back furiously.

-Was this his punishment for his previous actions?

-A bad karma that had followed him and finally caught up to him?

The despair he felt when his son turned into whatever it was before his eyes was heartbreaking.

However, such pain paled compared to the eventual despair he would feel when he came across something equally as traumatizing.

-He had introduced his other sons to the mistake called 'Anime'.

And the events that followed had physically hurt him more than any fight that he'd ever been in and will ever be in.

-His youngest son named Baki had stopped training and became a full-time shut-in only watching anime and reading manga.

-And his drug-addict of a second son whom he was unaware even existed named Jack had stopped abusing drug- err, sterio- ahem, performance-enhancing supplements, and started using all of his money to attend idol girl group concerts.

Yujiro had nearly gone on a murderous rampage destroying absolutely everything in his path when he found out firsthand.

"Why won't you accept your destiny… Your life… You…?" Yujiro struggled to complete that sentence, cringing every time the words 'My son' crept up into his throat as he spoke.

"Ahh, stop that shit dad! Can't you see I'm trying to watch my 'waifus'?" Myoujou yelled as the dust mountains of junk food rolled off of his overweight frame.

"Besides, being the strongest creature is 'hella wack' in this age, dad. Get with the times, lol."

-That was the breaking point, the metaphorical tip of the iceberg.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit, stop saying shit like that!" Yujiro yelled in despair. He had enough. Days passed and he was slowly growing crazy until he had finally snapped.

-SNAP!-

See? The sound effects for emphasis says it's true.

With a swift chop, he had split the computer monitor into two equal pieces, and sparks flew as Myoujou's despaired expression grew.

With his eyes blood-red, Yujiro yelled towards the heavens.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggghhh-!"

-XOXOXOX-

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-XOXOXOX-

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggghhh-!"

With a rage-filled shout, the aura and intensity of the Ki Yujiro possessed was so potent that it was able to shake the entire hotel building, causing people in the lower and outside floors to shake violently as the glass windows cracked and shatter all the way up to the room he currently stayed at.

"Eeeeek!"

"W-what's going on!?"

"Is it an earthquake!?"

Panicked screams and shouts could be heard nonstop from the workers and customers on the lower floors while they either rushed to escape the building or hide under tables for safety.

Jumping up with cold sweat dripping from his robust frame, Yujiro looked side-to-side in worry, hoping that what he had just seen was nothing but a nightmare.

-Yes. The Ogre; Yujiro Hanma, also known as 'The Strongest Creature On Earth', had just experienced a nightmare, and was extremely frightened.

No battle had shaken his heart nor made him frightened, but this dream of his....

-It scared him.

'That… That wasn't real… Now was it?'

'Hold on… What year is it?' Getting up as he gripped his head because of the throbbing headache he was experiencing currently, Yujiro snatched the calendar off of the table and swiftly peered through it looking for the date.

-June 13th, 1999-

"Ahh, I see. Thank goodness…" Yujiro said as he rumbled through the drawers taking out a thick envelope and a journal from deep within.

Inside the envelope, there was a handwritten letter with a small picture and a picture locket.

Turning the back of the picture that had several numbers on its face, there was a beautiful woman with long raven black hair and hazel brown eyes.

'Misao Kurogami.' Yujiro mumbled. 'A fine woman indeed, even though she was so sickly that her body would be blown away like a reed in the wind…'

'Her managing to live after giving birth was a miracle in itself, much less living for nearly a decade after.'

Grabbing the N*kia phone that lay on his dresser, a phone that was even known to be strong amongst the 'Martial World', he immediately got dressed as he dialed the number of a certain military man, he practically leaped down the stairs as he headed out of the hotel building.

-RING!, RING!, RING!-

Whatever he had seen was surely and without a doubt a terrible nightmare, and it was something that he needed to make sure will never happen.

-RING!, RING!, RING!-

"Oi, Strydum, I need a helicopter to Japan now, and make it fast." Yujiro said as he gritted his teeth.

-He needed to be there pronto, lest the development of his child goes awry.

"In fact just wait right there, I'll be over there in a bit."

Clicking off of the call Yujiro pocketed his luxury N*kia phone that even he had trouble breaking, as in the martial world this phone was known to be infinitely more times stronger than diamond which even gave 'Legendary Master-Class Fighters' a tough time breaking it, making it a true brand name phone for his use.

-'N*kia. The Strongest Phone' for 'The Strongest Creature On Earth'. Truly a match made in heaven.

-Yes.

"Don't worry Myoujou. I'm coming back from buying milk and cigarettes, and I'm even bringing a little something extra…" Yujiro smiled whilst patting the envelope and journal.

-XOXOXOX-

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-SEVERAL DAYS LATER-

-SHIVER!-

"I really don't feel so good, 'Misutā Bossu Man'. Maybe you should up the reward on that job, I mean; I am risking my hide for it, y'know." Myoujou 'respectfully' addressed his part-time 'employer' in rather broken English as he felt a cold sweat envelop his whole body.

-Whatever this odd feeling was, he didn't like it.

"Huh? Whaddya mean 'up the reward'?" Shintarou responded while setting down his newspaper. Moreover, how did he get the daily newspaper while temporarily living in the lawless slums of The Inside?

Myoujou didn't know, and neither did anyone else.

"You know what I mean, Old man! Anyway, my job here is done, so I'll smell you later gramps." Myoujou said as he trotted out of the building followed by Shintarou's complaints about his names. "By the way, you should really think about it."

"Old man? And Gramps? The hell are 'ya talking 'bout kiddo? Can't you see this full head of hair, eh?" Shintarou shouted as he returned to reading his newspaper.

-'BUSINESS GENIUS TAKAHIRO STRIKES GOLD ONCE AGAIN.'-

"I wonder what they'd think if they knew that he was doing some shady business down within The Inside…" Shintarou mumbled, chuckling as he peered out the window at the vastness of the slums he was currently in. "Man, what a shitstorm that would be, hahaha!"

-XOXOXOX-

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-XOXOXOX-

And as Myoujou trotted towards the place he called 'home' he furrowed his brows as he couldn't help but feel like something was bothering him.

No, something was watching him.

It was different than the other stares that he felt, it seemed as if this one was more… Animalistic in nature?

However, just soon after he noticed the stare, the feeling suddenly vanished.

'Now I just know something is up…' Myoujou thought.

It was a twisted form of 'foresight' that he developed due to living in this place.

Whenever he felt that something good was going to happen, then it was going to happen soon after.

And when it 'did' happen, then something even worse was going to happen right after.

'Man, this shit is too stressful...' Myoujou sighed. 'When I get back to Mom, I'll just have a nice chill life and relax.'

'I don't remember much from back home, but I do know that there are those 'Mango' comic books that have versions where the pictures can even talk and move! And they're all on TV too! What do they call it again… An… Ann… Oh whatever, I figure it out when I get there!'

'I wanna see them so badly… I can already tell that I'll like them a lot.' Myoujou grinned ear-to-ear, whatever those 'Moving Mangoes' were, he was going to leave The Inside and find them.

That was one of his goals.

Unfortunately for Yujiro in the future, Myoujou would take a great interest in the culture of anime and manga, and especially enjoy a certain series with masked men and women in stylized bug suits fighting other people in bug suits for justice.

And Unfortunately for Myoujou, he would later run into someone he would much rather have anything to do with; Yujiro Hanma, The Ogre.

And when The Ogre came, he wouldn't bring Milk, nor cigarettes…

Just pain.

<VOLUME ONE OMAKE: NECKBEARD HANMA> END

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