Raid-Boss Wishomoppu (2)

Okay, I would have you know this was the tastiest popcorn I had ever eaten. It made one forget about the earth-shattering battle happening in front of my eyes. The ground might shake, the heavens might split, but none of that mattered; for I had the popping Corn.

Seriously, with each bite, I was bathing in a flavour so rich and heavenly, it was absolute perfection. One would find it hard to believe it was something coming from this bland setting.

Though, you readers were not in the mood to hear me just talk about the delicious food. No, you guys were hungry for the battle to end all battles.

A bunch of angry, naked men─now, even more angry, naked men─ were fighting against the ginormous mop threatening the survival of this universe.

Like hornets poked by a stick wave after wave came at the wooden cleaning tool. The ability to shoot motherflipping lasers proved to be very effective against the small, immortal pests opposing the great Wishmoppu.

Sadly, all of this effort seemed to not leave any permanent damage as the hp bar had not increased in the slightest.

Far from it, the mop was powering up from taking so many lives.

Its wood got bigger and bigger as it was grinding the low-level mobs to a pulp. The level-up notifications flashing above it were certainly not a good sign for everyone involved... but one could believe in the horde of nude dudes.

Even if it grew higher and higher into the sky, these savages would stop at nothing to bring it down. Given their latent abilities─one punch should be more than enough to deal serious damage to it.

The only problem being their ability to actually reach the Cleaner of worlds as it was happily massacring everything standing in its path of cleaning.

Their odds decreased even more as WIshmoppu gained levels and started to shoot a barrage of lasers at every last one of them. To put it nicely, they were toast─a pretty burned one at that.

Death and respawning became an endless cycle in front of this calamity.

And yet the advance of this monstrous entity was put to a halt as the number of cloth-lacking psychos kept on increasing. An endless tide of human flesh stopped the being in its track.

It could not be measured just how many times the people here had been killed. Luckily for everyone involved, there was a death counter on the gigantic tv screen floating in the sky.

The numbers were rising quite fast as anyone would expect, just witnessing this slaughter made me appreciate my position as a viewer. Participating in this madness did not seem like a very fun time... Hence I was very content with being part of the audience not of the massacre.

Look, I ain't wanna be part of the 10000 deaths one could see on the screen. Furthermore, the battle had just started 2 minutes ago. One look away for a second and the number shot up by 300 more.

The literal chaos and the countless explosions tearing through the Endless Grasslands attracted, to no one's surprise, an army of clones coming from all over the world to join in on the great fun.

Which in turn led to the number on the screen exploding rapidly. Of course, Wishmoppu got stronger and stronger again because these morons were excellent xp-donators.

The stronger and bigger Wishomoppu, the Bringer of Clean Times, got the more dumbasses were attracted once again... and that repeated over and over and over again. By now, far more than 100.000 deaths were listed on the screen.

The mop in its infinite wisdom began to target the city with its lasers and, you guessed it, caused the townsfolk to rush out in anger and kick the ancient devil's ass.

In hindsight, a really stupid decision as 10000 people with anger issues swarmed the cleaning tool.

Next came the literal beginning of a world war as humans recklessly charged forward. Savages and clothed savages joined hands to give Wishmoppu a whooping it would never forget.

Barging through the sea of fire and destruction they made their way through the onslaught of lasers. Fighting tooth and nails and despite suffering from numerous casualties, they managed to reach the wooden body of mop.

In response, the ancient devil began to focus the fire on the meddlesome insects climbing its body.

Attackers left and right fell victim to the waves of attacks, but some managed to survive long enough to throw a punch or two... The health bar had finally decreased ever so slightly.

This change did not go unnoticed as every lunatic smelled their chance to seek revenge. Akin to sharks with blood in the water, they ran at their enemy as fast as their legs allowed them to.

All the while the crowd and I were chanting from a safe distance. This action sequence caused each and every one of us to hold our breath in anticipation of what might happen next. Some of us had even begun to bet on how many deaths it would take to best this creature of mass destruction.

By the way, the number had passed the 750k mark not long ago. Quite a high body count, for a battle between immortal psychos and a really tall and thick mop.

The fight had no reason to be as epic as it was.

Anyhow, WIshmoppu was overwhelmed by the swarm of clones and could not get rid of them before taking damage here and there. It was only a matter of time before Mop had cleaned its last filth.

All of a sudden, the laser-shooting thing spun rapidly to get rid of the pests, which had climbed it. Although most of them managed to hold on by sinking their teeth deep into the wooden surface.

They reminded me of my first dog that could be flung around in the same manner.

I had no idea what the purpose behind this spin tactic was... but Dear God, it was not planning to do THAT? Not THAT right?

THAT war crime happened...

"Careful INCOMMING" I screamed as a wave of puke and other filth was flung all over this space by the "AOE" attack of the Mop. By sheer luck, I managed to not be hit by a puke projectile and survived in one piece.

My seatmates, on the other hand, were not so lucky as a big, gaping hole could be found where their head used to be.

One of them was killed by a half-digested chicken nugget and the other one by a high-speed noodle.

The war had officially entered a stage of no return... the vomit card had been played.

May God have mercy on our souls.

....