O brother, where art thou?

CHAPTER THREE:

O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?

Maria wasn't supposed to be downstairs. Mom and dad specifically told her, no matter what happened, not to come downstairs and remain in her room for the rest of the night. She loved mom and dad but she knew how bad their tempers would flair if they caught her doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing, but today was weird, they had never told her to stay upstairs at a certain time ever before and right now they were really really mad, yelling at her older brother Javier.

DIEGO: you are not allowed, I refuse! You have no idea what you are going out there to confront boy!

JAVIER: What else am I supposed to do!? Cower in here like both of you and let him just tear apart the city!? I have the power to do something and I'm going to atleast try!

DIEGO: We've done all we can do boy, seals have been placed over all the homes. As long as we and everyone else stays inside he cannot hurt anyone. The second you step out of that front door, though, he will know you're there.

ANGELICA: Your fathers right, you do not know the boy's power yet. We have felt it before , like an endless abyss of.....incomprehensible consciousness and might.

JAVIER: You think I can't defeat him?

DIEGO: I don't think even the entirety of the Consilio Magicea could defeat him.

Javier is dead silent. The tension is sharp about them.

JAVIER: I have to do something. I can't just sit here with the power I have and allow him to get to the lake. We all know he's aiming for the lake.

DIEGO: You will not! I forbid you from leaving this house!!

JAVIER: Do you hear that? Outside? They're trying to fight him. They're fighting and dying and I know I can help, at least a little bit.

DIEGO: (emotions maria had never heard in her fathers voice before was rich right now) Do not go out there son. There are worse things than death and he's one of the few on this plane which can do it to you. Please my boy, as your father, as someone who loves you, do not go out there.

There was silence and Maria watched as the young man with his hair slicked back, a leather jacket stubbed with the totems of majica and a red leather bound grimoire in his hands, walked out the front door. She heard the low throbbing sob of her mother in the kitchen.

DIEGO: little girl!

Maria slowly woke us as her father came into her room. In her groggy state, she tapped her phone to see that it was... 4:00 am.

DIEGO: Little girl, wake up!

MARIA : Dad, it's 4:00 in the morning, can't this wait tomorrow? I can coo like a loon at whatever crap with a full night of sleep.

DIEGO: No, must do it now, within the hour. Blood moon, full, and powerful. It is the only time for you to learn this majica. Wake up!

MARIA: If you already knew this, why didn't you tell me beforehand?

DIEGO: (he stares for a brief moment then strugs.) The game was on. You know how your father reacts when Argentina takes on Brazil

MARIA: Just pretend I did it and go to the next lesson. (she lays back down on her extremely comfy pillow.)

DIEGO: no, this is an important lesson and you will learn it! (he starts flicking the lights on and off) wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up.

MARIA: Fine (she sits up, her hair a frizz and sticking in all different directions) I'm up! I'm up! Can't wait to find out how to locate water in a desert or something.

In the backyard, Deigo Santanna and his wife Angelica stand at the center of their blood red pagoda. Maria stands there, half asleep in her nightgown and with her pillow still in her arm, scratching her belly.

DIEGO: Tonight we gather as our kind always have. The peoples of the majica, since the sun was young and the earth was nothing but oceans of green, have always gathered to give the next generation the arts at the appropriate times. (he waves at the blood moon) tonight, under the light of the blood moon I shall pass my gift, my blood, to my child, my blood. (the candles surrounding the pagoda alight. Figures move among the shadows made by the flames. Maria simply thinks of sleep.) today she, my blood and my heir, shall learn the chant, the totem, the art of loqueris ad castorem, the art to commune with the water stunk, or as the less civilized dubbed it, the beaver.

MARIA: what?

DIEGO: ...the gift, given by the grand master of the ancient tribes of canada to the arcane master of the viking horde, passed down* (he notices Maria walking back inside.) hey, what are you doing?

MARIA: Why, I am going back to bed. Going back to bed and not learning the arcane art of talking to beaver's dad. That spell is stupid.

DIEGO: no spell is stupid, little girl. The majica connects with one another in a tapestry of interconnecting lines. Without learning this art, you cannot learn the ability to converse with muskrats or the spell to make wood edible.

MARIA: And?

DIEGO: that's it. But you will know when they will be useful to your endeavors.

MARIA: (feigning horror) oh no, you're right! What ever will I do if I find myself in Canada and get attacked by ents? The horror. (she slides the screen door open)

DIEGO: you get back here right now little girl! You are making a scene.

MARIA: Scene for who?

DIEGO: your mother.

ANGELICA: Listen to your father, fresa, you never know when a spell or arcane could be beneficial.

MARIA: Oh boy, I sure will be kicking myself when I can't lead my personal army of beavers or find out what birch tastes like.

CARLOS: Hey! (they look to the side to see a man with slicked back black hair and ponderous mustache staring at them over the fence) keep it down over there, I'm trying to make love to my wife!

DIEGO: And I am trying to do a presentation here for my daughter, you little bungler! Do not say such inappropriate things in her presence!

CARLOS: shut up! I told you to shut up! I am trying to have a big one and make love to my wife and your babble of devil stuff is making me lose it. So stop it and shut up.

DEIGO: you shut up, you disgusting roach!

CARLOS: Ack! What!? You don't tell me to shut up! You shut up!

DIEGO: you shut up and go back to your house! Are you an animal, fornicating in the dirt?

CARLOS: my wife likes it in moon light and she's hotter than your wife so shut up!

DIEGO: (looks at Maria) do you see what you have done little girl? Now I have to have an argument with this Cuban lout!

CARLOS: oh! You Mexican bastard! Imma come over there and hit you in the nose! The nose!!

DIEGO: You come over! I'd like to see you try!

MARIA: you two kiss and make out or whatever, I don't care. (Walking through the doorway) I'm going back to sleep and pretend this was a fever dream.

Maria proceeds back upstairs, flops down on her bed and dreams a wondrous dream. Dressed as a mariachi, complete with sombrero and mustache, Maria skips in place while firing twin pistols as la cucaracha plays. Baxter stands next to her in full yuppy attire, golf club, white sweater tied to his neck and white gloves while on the other side of her is a very tiny Giraffe.

TINY GIRAFFE: Why Maria, greatest bandito of the planes, you have conquered the entire world due to your wonderful mariachi shot and sexy demeanor. You are so much more smart and hot and cool than Shelby or your sister Isabella or even Linda Nguyen down the street.

BAXTER: Hm, I dare say Maria, it looks like the help is complaining again.

Shelby, in rags covered in dirt and mud, complete with a hump, saunters over to Maria.

SHELBY: Oh I say m'lady, diggin' this hole into the cente'of the world is a mighty feat indeed, may we hav' a glass o' water or somethin'?

MARIA: (still skipping in place) no! Go dig peasants! (she starts shooting at Shelby's feet.)

JAVIER: Maria!? (Maria stops everything she's doing and turns to face her brother, Javier, standing no more than a few feet away.) Maria, is that you!?

MARIA: Javi!? (she drops her guns and runs head first to the image of her brother.) Javi? You're never in this dream. Usually it's the one with the*

She doesn't get to complete her statement, as Javier grabs her and hugs her tight, tighter than she's ever been held before. She can feel his body shaking. Her dreams rarely ever felt this realistic.

JAVIER: Oh my god, you have no idea how much I missed you girl. How much I've dreamed of reaching you. (he looked much different to her. He looks rough, weary and worn and tired but it was her older brother, no doubt about it.) Why do you have a mustache?

MARIA: (shrugs) if I'm in a mariachi outfit, why not have a mustache? (he rips the mustache off her lip like a piece of velcro)

JAVIER: Oh my god, you're so beautiful. I always knew you'd grow up to be beautiful and smart and amazing. (a few tears escaped his eyes) I've been trying to get to mom and dad but they've blocked me out, probably due to grief and I thought all was lost.

MARIA: (she starts to really comprehend what was going on.) Javi? It can't be you...you died.....

JAVIER: no...not yet.....though sometimes it feels like I did. Listen to me honey, I need you to do something extremely important for me. Are you listening to me?

MARIA: As best now, but this is the part of the dream where Chris Hemsworth comes in and tells me he needs my help winning the super bowl or I'll never be his hoe bag and, honestly, it's hard for me to ignore him.

JAVIER: God you have weird racist dreams, girl. Listen, you know about the tertius mundus gate?

MARIA: no, does it have something to do with winning the super bowl?

JAVIER: no but there's something of immense importance there. I'm sorry honey but I need you to go there for me. It's the only way to defeat him. There's something down there that troubles him, it's one of the few times I've ever seen him act like an actual human being. I think I know what it is, but I need you to go in there and get it for me. Do you understand Maria, please?

That's when Chris Hemsworth comes running in in a Philadelphia eagles uniform with a football in hand.

CHRIS HEMSWORTH: Maria, darling, if I can't beat the Pats today, you'll never officially be my hoe bag so I need your help. (he bends over to the ground and starts showing her the plan) Okay so we're down by 5 and it's the third so we need a miracle play here.

JAVIER: Please Maria, just remember what I told you. Please, I love you guys so much, I miss you every second of the day. Tell mom and dad I love them from the bottom of my heart. Please.

DIEGO: Little Girl!! (Maria wakes up to the lights going on and off rapidly.) Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

It's the morning now, the sun bright in the sky and Maria sits at the dining room table playing with her bowl of cereal. Her heavyset little sister, Carmen, is sitting on the other side of the table enjoying herself also with a bowl of cereal.

CARMEN: Mom! Maria is wasting food, she's barely eaten her bowl of cereal.

MARIA: Don't worry bottomless pit, if I don't eat this you can go ahead and wolf it down for me, won't cha? Doesn't matter if it's partially eaten or soggy, you'll suck it like an industrial level vacuum cleaner, right?

CARMEN: Mom! Maria just called me fat again!

ANGELICA: Carmen, don't yell in the house, it's bad manners, and don't tattle tale like that like. Maria, you know Carmen is sensitive about her weight, so quiet down and eat your breakfast okay? (Angelica floats into the kitchen to start up the coffee pot.) I know you were up late last night but that doesn't excuse you for bad behavior.

MARIA: Maybe rolly polly here could learn some decent behavior for once.

CARMEN: Mom!

ANGELICA: sangre santa, it's not even 8 in the morning yet and you two are already at each other's throat? Can you please try to be civil with each other, or at least pretend?

Maria grumbles to herself and continues to play with her food. Finally she summons the strength to ask the question.

MARIA: Mom, are there any spells that allow you to communicate with the dead?

ANGELICA: yes but they're tricky. The dead are far from here, Fresa, in another reality altogether and piercing that wall is difficult to say the least, dangerous most of the time. There are dark and cruel things which lay in wait at the inbetweens of them and they, among most things, are masters of lying. (she prepares the coffee maker)

MARIA: can....can the spirits of the dead contact you? Contact you in, like, a dream or something and ask you to do something?

ANGELICA: It can happen but it also has the chance of being one of the beings inbetwixt. The closer to the person's death, the easier it is for them to contact those they care about. The further the time from death, the less likely it is their spirit and mostly a trick by malicious spirits. Why are you asking these questions?

Maria sits there, truly stirring in her thoughts, trying to find a way to word this without hurting mom's feelings.

MARIA: You promise not to get mad at me? (Angelica turns to her daughter and stares at her, detecting the distress. Finally she nods.) I had a dream about Javi last night, when dad came to wake me up for the stupid Beaver spell.

Angelica stares at her daughter with an emotionless face for a few heartrending moments. She slowly walks over to the kitchen table.

ANGELICA: Carmen, dear, I need a moment alone with your sister please.

CARMEN: But I'm not done with my cereal.

ANGELICA: You can bring it with you. Go watch tv or read something, okay? (pouting, Carmen picks up her bowl and walks off. Angelica sits down across from Maria.) tell me exactly what happened in the dream for me. every detail.

MARIA: Some of the details, um, I kinda don't want to...ya know...

ANGELICA: There's no place for modesty in a situation like this Fresa. Every detail you can remember. Please.

Maria gives as good of an explanation of the dream she had had last night before being awakened. Her mothers expression didn't change from her stony look. When she was done, it still hadn't changed.

ANGELICA:....... Hoe bag?

MARIA: I told you beforehand.

ANGELICA: (sighs) I don't think we ever told you what happened that night so long ago, have we? No. it still feels fresh to us even after so long. You were nine and couldn't completely comprehend but I'm sure you have gathered the truth since then, true?

MARIA: (uncomfortable to proceed) Javi went to fight Devil didn't he?

ANGELICA: (she nods) He was a gifted Wizard, could have been one of the strongest in the last hundred years or so, but he was also born with an extremely noble heart. Whenever cruelty or malice was about he would confront it to his best ability. The neighbor boy, Angel, didn't help much in tempering that in him. (a slight snear comes over her.) I apologize dear, I know how close you are to her son but I truly wish that harlot never moved in next door. She has brought nothing but horror to this place. Horror and heartbreak.

MARIA: It's not Ms.Williams' fault that... ya know....

ANGELICA: I know but mothers will hold grudges. Either way, there was a day we all know was on the horizon, when Devil showed his true colors and attacked the city, heading towards the lake. Everyone in town who could do anything against Devil did what they could to stop him. Most don't want to talk about it, it was a severely black day. Your father and I did what we could, it was either protect as many innocent lives as possible or confront him in combat. Your father and Hugo Schmidt got into a heated argument, your father thinking hiding in our homes was the cowardly route while Hugo finally explained that only the two of us could successfully protect the innocents of horror lake.

(she sighs) but Javier thought differently. Inside the house he could only help us in fortifying the protection spell, a spell that made it impossible for Devil to enter the home of anyone who didn't invite him. But outside was the battle, a battle a good friend of his was fighting tooth and nail to win. He left and confronted Devil and.....

MARIA: He died, I know. Angel too, right?

ANGELICA: (nods) they never found their bodies but, knowing the depth of Devils powers, they never would have.

MARIA: But, that doesn't mean...

ANGELICA: (lifts up her hand, silencing her daughter.) When he passed away the two of us counseled with learned men of our kind, men and women who knew more than we on most things but definitely on the subject of the hereafter. We asked for communion with Javier's spirit but, when they tried, they couldn't find him. We tried everything and nothing was available.

Devil was powerful, a being more powerful than most had seen in this world before, and had abilities that were a blasphemy on the natural world. We tried to deny it, to find some other explanation and kept vainly trying to commune with him but we finally had to accept the truth: Devil didn't just kill Javier Maria, he destroyed him. He shattered his soul, eradicated him from reality. A power that only few beings have, but he certainly had it and used it.

Javier couldn't have contacted you, my fresa, he doesn't exist. No spirit, no soul, nothing but total obliteration and emptiness. His entire existence has been wiped out. He couldn't have contacted you.

MARIA: but....

ANGELICA: no buts, please, it still hurts thinking about it. Furthermore, if I see you even thinking about going to the Tertius Mundus gate I will skin you alive in five separate ways. That place is sealed for a reason by your grandfather and there's no way in anyway. (she sighs and gets up.) go and get your mind off this night thought Fresa, go over to your friends house and relax okay? It's the weekend so make the best of it. (she kisses Maria on the head and goes back into the kitchen)

MARIA: Mom, you're not mad that I hang out with Baxter, are you?

ANGELICA: Of course not. You two have been joined at the hip since you two first met. I don't care much for two of his brothers, and I wish desperately Jessica would spay herself, but Baxter? Not at all. He's a good young man. (turning back to the coffee machine.) Now, I need to get ready for the day, okay Fresa?

Maria walks up to Baxter's house, the beat up old tractor and big box tv still on the front lawn with a huge stack of newspapers on the side. Maria knocks and is met with one of the most milfiest milfs to ever milf. Long golden blonde hair in pigtails, a face that was neither old nor young as well as sexy and beautiful simultaneously. A bust-waist-hip ratio that would make the most floosiest floozy jealous, Jessica Williams would make any lady feel inadequate.

JESSICA: Oh hi there little Mary, how are you doing today precious little angel?

MARIA: It's Maria Ms.Williams, you've known me for nine years now, you should know my name by now, and I'm fine. Thank you. Is Baxter home?

JESSICA: Oh, he's upstairs in his room with some other friends who came by.

MARIA: Greg and shelby?

JESSICA: Who? It's the kinda skanky looking girl and the guy who looks like he does heroin.

MARIA: OH! I gotcha!

Maria enters Baxter's Attic room, furnished with a couch, bed, bookcases, its own computer and tv and the various kinds of crap a 16 year old guy would have. Baxter sat at his computer while Dillon leafed through a comic and Emily lounged on Baxter's bed with a copy of hustler laid out in front of her.

EMILY: Blondie, you have shit tastes when it comes to things to read.

DILLON: I don't know about that. His comic collection's pretty decent.

EMILY: I'll care about that when I reverse engineer my virginity back. (looks up and sees Maria) oh, hey squirt, are you bored as all hell like everyone else?

MARIA: I don't know yet. Is this all you guys have been doing? Looking through comics and dirty mags?

EMILY: Nah, Baxters also have been looking at funny crash videos and him and Dillon got into an argument about something, I don't know about what though.

BAXTER: (turns to Maria and points at Dillon) this dumb sonofabitch said that the Punisher could beat Judge Dredd.

DILLON: But he could though.

Maria and Emily exchange knowing looks. Maria moves and sits down besides Dillon.

MARIA: Where's everyone else?

BAXTER: Ditched us! Can you believe it?

MARIA: Well, ditched us how?

BAXTER: Well…

(flashes to Greg in a baseball uniform, talking on the phone as he heads to his van.)

GREG: I can't hang out today man, I got a game to play, I'm the star pitcher and it's gonna be a big game...... no I can't make a mulligan on this one........well, just get high and drunk with Emi and Dillon, that sounds like a good plan to me....... Ya know, that doesn't make me want to ditch everything and just hop over to your place Bax.

(Flashes to Shelby with her guitar, dressed up really really nice.)

SHELBY: I can't hang out today Bax, I told you three weeks ago that I was gonna be in a concert today....well, it's not my fault that you usually hear fog horns when I talk.....no I can't just take a mulligan on this one, this means a hell of a lot to me....well, just get high and drunk with Emi and Dillon, that sounds like a good plan to me....ya know, that doesn't make me want to ditch everything and just hop over to your place bax.

(flashes to Speedy with a hard hat on)

SPEEDY: I can't hang out today Bax, I'm super super busy......no, I am not trying to recreate the siege of Venice with hamsters again....(he looks at a bunch of hamsters in tiny uniforms walking about a mini-replica of Venice made out of legos)......well, just get high and drunk with Emi and Dillon, that sounds like a good plan to me.......why would you say that about my mom!

back to baxter's room.

BAXTER: So now it's just us. With nothing to do. (leans back in his swivel chair.) the entire weekend is ruined, utterly ruined.

EMILY: aren't you being hyperbolic Blondie?

BAXTER: I am not being hyperborean here, we get drunk and high every other day but weekends are for explorin' and doing stuff. (notices Emily putting her ashes out into his coffee cup) please, can you get an ashtray? Every time you're up here, you turn every drink I have into one and I'm getting tired of accidentally drinking cigarette butts.

EMILY: Should feel grateful. Be the closest you'll get to making out with a woman. (notices Maria being a bit gloomy.) What's wrong Squirt? You look a bit down in the dumps. What's up?

MARIA: (breathes in deeply and looks at everyone.) I got a place to go today. (everyone turns to listen to her.) you know where the old abandoned cider mill is?

DILLON: Yeah, you wanna go get cider?

EMILY: Why would we go all the way over there just to get cider?

DILLON: Good ciders really good but hard to find.

MARIA: no, not cider. I said the mill was abandoned, right?

DILLON: Well, we could try and make cider at least.

MARIA: shut up about cider. Either way, near the old ABANDON cider mill, is a steel portal with the name Tertius Mundus on it.

Both Dillon and Emily whip their attention to Maria, Emily's lighter ablaze, lit mid-lighting a cigarette.

EMILY: Turtle Mondays?

DILLON: that sounds latin

EMILY: Latin means magic

DILLON: Magic means uh-oh.

MARIA: Come on guys, it's not going to be that bad, trust me.

EMILY: Well, where does this turtle Monday go?

MARIA: I don't know

EMILY: You don't know but you want us to go in there?

MARIA: yeah, it's......... (groans) It's complicated.

BAXTER: (concerned) Mar, what's wrong? You look upset.

MARIA: (looks at baxter) you promise you won't think I'm being silly?

BAXTER: That depends, I think you're always being silly.

Maria tells them about the dream she had last night, sans the mariachi suit and Chris Hemsworth winning the super bowl.

MARIA: Mom told me he couldn't have contacted me for, ya know, reasons, but here's the thing: I never heard about the Tertius Mundus portal until last night in my dream and mom essentially admitted it was real, right? So it means Javi IS alive and trying to contact me. There MUST be something down there that can help him!

EMILY: But you said that your grandpa sealed it right?

MARIA: It's a simple fix. Magic users tend to use similar family seals. If I feel it, I can easily break it and go in there.

EMILY: That's not what I'm talking about. If your grandpa sealed it up in the first place, there must be something down there that he sealed away for a reason right? It could be something extremely dangerous and deadly.

MARIA: Or it could simply just be a store of powerful forbidden magics and totems. It's been known to have happened in the past.

DILLON: um, Maria, yeah, I'm out. I'm sorry but you know how I deal with magic.

MARIA: Dillon, I told you, it was an accident, I was trying out a new*

DILLON: yeah, I know but that doesn't change the fact that it happened and I really REALLY don't want it to happen again, okay?

EMILY: Yeah. You guys know I'm willing to help out whenever I can, for whatever little help I can provide honestly, but I really don't want to walk willingly into something I have no idea what's going to be inside. Thanks but count me out on that one hun.

Maria looks at Baxter with a pleading stare.

BAXTER: (sighs) Mar, ya might have just heard the name from someplace and kept it in your subconscious or something since then and it popped up last night.

Maria looks devastated. That's when a Cuban man's head pops out of the attic stairway.

CARLOS: Baxter! It's your turn to mow the lawn, why isn't the lawn being mowed? Sitting at computer is not mowing a lawn, having naughty lady on bed is not mowing lawn nor is having a trashcan man on couch mowing lawn. Why is the lawn not being mowed?

BAXTER: Dad, it's S.U.S turn to mow the lawn.

CARLOS: Don't play with me like that boy, S.U.S isn't here today but you are so go out there and mow lawn. The longer you don't, the taller the grass grows and gathers snakes and irishmen. Hop to it! (turns to Maria) are you here to help mow lawn too little lulu? I'd like to mow your papas stupid face with lawnmower but I'd get in prison for that!

MARIA: Actually, (getting up.) I was just about to leave.

CARLOS: Don't care, doesn't have anything to do with mowing the lawn. (back to Baxter) if I had a dollar for every blade of grass on my lawn which had been mowed, I would be a pauper. Do you want your dad to be a pauper?

Maria walks down the street towards the old mill by herself, trying to hold back a tear. Of all people to dismiss her, she thought the last one would be Baxter. For some reason, that hurt more than anything else.

ARFIE: (behind Maria): Bark bark bark!!

A small figure on a skateboard rides down the street, followed by a large figure on a bicycle.

FARMER'S SON: (on the skateboard) Who's that daddy?

FARMER: (on a bicycle) Why, that there be arfie the magic dog. He travels the world, helping people with his magic powers?

MARIA: Arfie. (she bends over to pet and cuddles the little beagle.) at least you haven't ditched me. Wanna go on an adventure buddy?

ARFIE: Bark!

MARIA: Then let's get going. (the two start walking off to where she thinks the old abandoned cider mill is) If the situation requires it, I think I can try and ride you like some tiny little horse.

Walking up right besides her from behind comes Baxter with a slightly annoyed face.

BAXTER: Alright, let's get going. That tortoise moosy ain't gonna spelunk itself.

MARIA: (her face alight) you believe me?

BAXTER: Well, I don't know if I believe you or not, but there's not a chance in hell I'm gonna let you go into anything dangerous by yourself. Wherever you go, I'm going. You know that.

MARIA: I knew I had you wrapped around my little finger.

BAXTER: Yeah, don't let people know about that, kay?

EMILY: HEY! (they turn around to find Dillons mustang coming up to them with Emily's head out of the passenger side window.) get in the car, ya little twerps.

Smiling, Maria gets in the car as Baxter follows suit, sitting next to her. Arfie jumps in and lays in between the two of them.

DILLON: Let me just stop, stop at my place, my home, and get something. Something important and something I've been working on for a while, kay?

MARIA: I knew I could trust you guys.

EMILY: like we're going to let our little witch wander around without anyone helping her out.

BAXTER: What the hell do you help out with?

EMILY: levity and worldly wisdom. (she spits out the window.)

DILLON: Hey Bax, who's gonna mow the lawn?

BAXTER: He'll probably get Bubba to mow it. Carlos is a good guy but sometimes he can't tell us apart.

The old cider mill was half dilapidated, nearly in ruins when they approached it. Wooden beams and pieces of plywood clutter in front of the doorway. The gang of five exit out of the car beholding the mill which once provided the city with nice hot delicious cider. Dillon opens the trunk and starts pulling an assortment of junk out.

MARIA: Is that really necessary?

DILLON: (pulling a large pair of bulky pants on.) maybe not necessary for you, little witch academia but for me, it's extremely necessary.

Baxter starts lifting the pieces of wood and rubble away from the doorway and enters the building. Dust and cobwebs covered the place and the wild animals had carved a home in the old wood. Maria and Emily follow shortly after inside the hovel.

BAXTER: This place's been abandoned longer than I've been alive.

MARIA: I think it was abandoned specifically because of the portal. Grandpa was pretty forceful when he needed to be and he also didn't like those who didn't understand the majica meddling in it. (scanning the environment) where the hell's that dang portal though?

ARFIE: Bark bark! (they turn to find the giant iron wrought portulus in the middle of the wall, mammoth in size, absolutely dwarfing them.)

MARIA: Oh, there is it.

BAXTER: Why the hell didn't I see that?

The three of them and arfie stand before the giant iron door inspecting it.

EMILY: how are you guys gonna get the big dumb thing open?

BAXTER: In the movies there's always a switch so it's gotta be a switch.

MARIA: magic doesn't have switches such as that. We use words of power, things that symbolize what the object means to the one who provided it. (standing before the portcullis and waving her hand back and forth) Open!.....Amigo!.... Melon!

DILLON: Hey guys, wait for me. (Dillon enters the Cider mill in what could only be conceived of as something akin to an old diving suit with a huge copper hat helmet. He slowly and clumsily entered the building.) it's still in prototype form but this sick son of a bitch is 100% magic proof! Nothing can get through this pretty baby.

EMILY: Dillon, you look like a martian.

DILLON: a martian who won't get caught in any magic bullcrap! I also brought some wonderful doohickies Dr.Scuzzybum lent me. (he opens the compartment on his side.) see? If there's any weirdo little spooks down there, I can give them something to think about.

EMILY: Can you even walk with that stupid thing on?

DILLON: Perfectly! (he starts making wide hobbling steps towards them. On the fifth step, he trips and falls onto the ground. He struggles to get back to his feet.) Help! Help! Someone come and give me a hand or something? (Emily and Baxter give each other a glare and help Dillon back to his feet.)

Maria looks about the premises of the gate for any clue as to how to trigger it open. With little success with every word she could think up, she starts getting really frustrated.

MARIA: I've used every single word that grandpa would have used to open the portal, even some that I shouldn't know about, and nothing's working. If Javi really wanted me to come in here, he should have at least given me the damn password! (she suddenly kicks the portal door on the bottom. The portcullis starts the slow grinding slide to open.) huh, I should have expected that. (turns around) guys, it's open!

The five of them stand in the opening of the Tertius Mundus, a dark cavernous opening. A sweet cold wind whips out of it towards them and bathes them.

EMILY: I shouldn't even be surprised at this point honestly. (to Maria and Baxter) it can never be something like a weed shop or the reincarnation of Kurt Corbain, can it?

MARIA: Hey, you came without any coercion didn't ya? (to everyone else.) ya guys ready? Alright. (She hops into the open crevice) This is one small step for Maria, but a giant leap for everyone else.

BAXTER: What the hell does that mean?

MARIA: It means I'm awesome!

As our intrepid explorers quickly descend into the dark depth of the cavernous depth, we find a glassy sheen over the events, pulling back to see we are looking into a glass orb held up by an elf. Handsome beyond words with silky white long hair and violet purple eyes staring down at the group.

DRAZATH: yes, yes my little intruders, come down to me in my wondrous kingdom, (he looks closely at the head of the group, at maria) see the kingdom you will soon rule alongside me, my bride-to-be.

Jessica goes to the front door of her house and finds Angelica Santanna standing in the doorway.

JESSICA: Ah, Good morning, um, Jacqueline. How are you doing today? Mighty nice weather isn't it?

ANGELICA: It's Angelica, we've been neighbors for ten years, you should know my name by now. (sighs) I just came over figuring that my daughter was most likely over here, could you get her or your son for me?

JESSICA: Oh, hold on, I'll get him. (he turns around and in a harpy voice) BAXTER!!! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!!

CARLOS: He's mowing lawn like good son! Not like bad son like that little Super!

JESSICA: Oh. (turns to Angelica) it seems he's outside.

Angelica looks to the side to see Budda cleaning out the push mower with his bare hands

ANGELICA: (looking back at Jessica) do you even know what your children look like? That is not Baxter, it's the ugly one.

CARLOS: (walking up to the front door and looking at bubba.) ah, well, sometimes gringos all look the same, right?

ANGELICA: (starting to be concerned) she better not have went there. (She pulls out a small totem which looks like two horns meeting in the middle.) Vierta un poco de azúcar en mí. Ooh, en el nombre del amor, Vierta un poco de azúcar en mí. Vamos, enciéndeme, Vierta su azúcar en mí, no puedo tener suficiente.

The ethereal image of Diego materializes before her.

DIEGO: ¿Qué es mi pequeño arándano?

ANGELICA: Creo que esa estúpida niña nuestra fue y se dirigió a la biblioteca de Drazath, el rey de los duendes. quién sabe en qué tipo de problemas podría meterla a ella y al vecino.

Diego's face became distraught and rage fueled. Carlos looked on, his face now full of concern.

JESSICA: I'm sorry but could you guys not speak Mexican in front of me? It gives me an upset stomach.

Diego and Angelica simply give her the slightest of looks before returning to each other.

DIEGO: Me pondré en contacto con sus amigos y veré si saben adónde han ido. si esa niña fue y desobedeció mis órdenes como esa, le broncearé la piel. (with that, he disappeared from contact with his wife.)

Greg stands outside of Shelbys changing room, still in his baseball uniform, dugout dirt on his shoes. Shelby comes out with her guitar ready, dressed to the nines, with a nicely dressed medium toned black man with a fade and mustache.

AARON: Just remain calm and collected honey, you'll be perfectly fine out there.

SHELBY: Oh I hope so. (to Greg) how many people are out there?

GREG: nowhere as many as you would think Shelb, you'll be fine. Um, speedy does seem to be eating all the catering.

SHELBY: Oh, I know, I sent him there to keep him out of my hair.

SPEEDY: I'm gonna make the ultimate sandwich!

SHELBY: See? It'll keep him from interrupting the concert. Do I look good?

GREG: you look great Shelb.

SHELBY: I don't look like I was dragged around in a ditch by a herd of horses do I?

GREG: Of course not. You look absolutely fantastic.

AARON: Shelby, it's just your nerves making you feel like this. You're gonna be great out there. Trust me.

SHELBY: (breathes deeply in and out) God I hope you guys are right about all this. I feel like a thousand butterflies are fighting a thousand bees in my stomach right now.

AARON: There's nothing to worry about hun. (to greg) right greg, nothings gonna happen is it?

GREG: Of course not. Without Bax and Mar at the game, we were finally able to play a full game and finish it while being in the lead! There's not going to be anything going off here.

As if by the perdition of god, that was when Diego Santanna slammed down from the roof into the room below, his flowing cloak was transformed into raven wings and slowly formed back into his cloak. He slams down his cane and turns to Shelby in a spin.

DIEGO: Pardon the intrusion young one but have you seen my daughter? Yay high, has a bad attitude and a snarky streak to herself?

SHELBY: No...(realization comes over her and disappointment shows.) why?

DIEGO: (he breathes in deeply) chica problemática! It seems she has disobeyed my and her mothers orders and gone off into a danger she probably will not be able to survive.

SHELBY: (chucking her guitar back into the dressing room) of course she did. (stares at greg) nothing going wrong, eh greg? (he looks off, whistling)

Speedy comes in with an d'orderve sandwich (if you don't know what that beautiful invention is, check out the film back to school) while still wearing his hardhat from earlier.

SPEEDY: Is everything alright? Is Maria alright?

DIEGO: hopefully. But if she has entered the Tertius Mundus, if she enters his realm, there will be dire consequences onto this world and reality.

There is a little shaggy imp standing in their way. A big purple puffball with stringy arms and legs and two big googly eyes staring at them. His hands on his hips and glowering at them.

IMP: halt! No one may go any further until they face my trial!

BAXTER: (strolling forward) Alright ya little twerp, (the imp reaches no higher than Baxter's knees) where do you want to do this; here or down the hall? I'll kick the shit out of you either way.

IMP: Wait wait wait! Not that kind of trial ya numbnuts! Do I look like a physical trial to you?

MARIA: (placing her hand on Bax chest and pushing him back) what kind of trial are you talking about?

IMP: A trial of wit, wit and brevity, the trial of philosophers and scientists alike: A riddle contest!

BAXTER: Oh, what is this, monty python!? Who does riddles?

IMP: Many people do riddles my little stupid ox! It is the tradition of our kind to only allow passage to those who can win the riddle contest.

BAXTER: and what if I don't want to deal with your stupid riddle contest? What if I decide, instead, just to punt you down the hall? (Out from behind a rock walks out a giant shaggy mop monster with big yellow eyes and rows of sharp horrifying teeth glaring down at Baxter) okay. You make a solid and just point. So what, I have to answer three riddles before I can proceed?

IMP: not quite. How the riddle trial goes is simple: you will try and answer my riddle first and then you will ask me to answer your riddles and we will continue until finally one of us ends up being stumped. Got it?

BAXTER: This is stupid.

IMP: do you know the rules boyo?

BAXTER: I got it, doesn't mean its not stupid.

IMP: I don't care one way or another what you think about the rules, just as long as you understand them. So? Which one of you is willing to contest me on wits?

MARIA: I'll do it. I was the one who decided to come down here, so I'll take the first challenge.

IMP: alright mere mortal here is the first riddle to break your mind: what animal walks on 4 legs in the morning, 2 at noon, and 3 at night?

MARIA: a man

BAXTER: a man

EMILY: A man

DILLON: A man

ARFIE: Bark.

IMP: blast and damnation, how did you know?

MARIA: Everyone knows that riddle. It's like the most famous riddle in the world.

EMILY: haven't ya read Oedipus Rex (Dillon and Baxter look at her.) What? I like to read too.

IMP: Doooooooooooooooh, alright. It's your turn.

MARIA: What if a baby ate another baby?

IMP: ....................whatt!?

MARIA: Ha! I win! You didn't solve my riddle!

IMP: That wasn't a riddle, that was a question, a really really stupid question I might add!

MARIA: as my teacher used to say, theres no such thing as stupid questions, just stupid answers and what is a Riddle but a question told in an amusing way?

IMP: Proper question, proper riddles, have proper answers here little girl! Your question has no proper answer

MARIA: yes it does. It's 'that baby would be a cannibal'. Can we go now?

IMP: Ooooooooooooooooh (shaking his fists in frustration, the imp walks off to the side, to allow the party to walk on through into the domain before them.)

Light started flooding from the end of the long cold cavern before the intrepid heroes. Soon they found themselves in the room of shining golden light. It was candles, thousands upon thousands of candles and torches that lined the walls and hung from candelabras and chandeliers. It was a library, a massive incalculably large library lined with leather bound books left and right, lining up to what must have been hundreds of feet high.

MARIA: (gasps) this place is beautiful!

BAXTER: What is it?

MARIA: it's a nexus library. Where knowledge of a plane of reality is collected into one place for easy learning. Different realms of existence are closely connected at times together and there tend to be pocket dimensions sometimes to accompany it?

EMILY: I still don't get it

MARIA: Like how you have a book shelf but sometimes not enough books for one row so you put a can of spinach there to fill it up? This place is that can of spinach.

BAXTER: It's huge here! How the hell are we supposed to know where we're supposed to go?

Maria looks about, knowing how right Baxter is. There's no sign of anything, which proper way to go or how, nothing but a huge labyrinth of golden bookshelves and the long spiraling corridors winding through the halls. Even choosing a single path to go seemed like an ordeal. They seemed to be stuck due to the overbearing size.

In the corner of her eye, though, Maria saw movement. She turned to see, against her eternal logic and understanding of reality, Javi, just as she had seen him so long ago leaving their house. He was walking down the second-right hall down the burning bright corridor.

MARIA: (eyes wide and bright) Javi!? Javi!!! (she sprints down the hall where she had seen her brother heading, Arfie following suit.)

BAXTER: Mar, Wait for us! (he follows in pursuit. Emily joins not shortly after.)

DILLON: Hey, wait for me! (he makes quick, yet waddling, wide steps in pursuit.)

When Shelby and the gang got to the cider house accompanied by Diego and Angelica Santanna, the Portcullis was closed and sealed again. Still in their extracurricular attire, Greg and Shelby examine the giant gate.

SHELBY: I can't tell if it's been opened recently or not. Magic genuinely isn't my speciality and mechanica majica even less.

DIEGO: No, it's been opened. Somehow the little girl found the password to open the portal to that godforsaken hellhole. (turns to Shelby) my wife's father was a cautious man, he would always make sure all mechanisms to enter would require a high level of understanding and knowledge of the arcane arts. I would be impressed if I wasn't so furious right now.

SPEEDY: Hey, if this gate is so good at keeping things out. (they turn to the young man, still wearing his hard hat) then why is this guy poking his nose out of the wall?

Speedy points to a huge Grover-looking creature looking out of a massive hole in the wall. It's fingers gripping the floor and looking at the intruders with its large round glassy eyes.

GREG: (approaching the odd creature with Shelby, Angelica and Diego right behind him) um, good evening my friend. Nice weather we're having huh? (the creature just stares.) um,uh. We were wondering, possibly, if you had seen a couple of people come by and enter that gate over yonder. (the creature keeps staring. Greg looks at Speedy and Shelby confused and looking for some help.) Uh, do you speaka english?

DIEGO: Habla Espanol?

The creature's arm darts out like a vipers bite and grabs Shelby by the ankles.

CREATURE: My mudpie! (it starts dragging Shelby down into the endless darkness below.)

SHELBY: Aaaaaaahhhhh! Of course! Of course this happens!

Speedy and Greg grab her by the arms but find themselves being dragged under by its force. They soon enter the darkness below.

Soon Maria and her friends lose sight of her brother and find themselves even further lost in the library labyrinth.

BAXTER: Great Maria, we're even more lost. We're in some weirdo maze of books, looking for something that we don't even know what and the only clue is a dream. (he looks at her.) By the way, was it the mariachi dream where I was a yuppie again?

MARIA: (ignoring him) Javi wouldn't have sent me here for no reason. There has to be something important here and a way to find it. (she starts walking down the hall, pulling out her broom from under her hat and looking about.) I think we need to go that way. (pointing down the left hall)

FIFFER: Hey, (the gang perk up by the new voice and look about.) over here. (the all turn to the right shelf where a googly eyed sock puppet looks out of the opening of the books) don't go down that way, there bad things down that way.

BAXTER: (annoyed) Oh my god, what the hell is that?

FIFFER: m' names fiffer and I'm one of the dezidens of this here library, t' help anyone lookin' fer the knowledge in here and ya can't go that way, bad things are that way.

MARIA: What's down that way?

FIFFER: why, that's the throneroom of the Drow elf King of the goblins Drazeth. He's a naughty naughty evil elf king and does horrendous things.

DIFFER: Oh, don't listen to him! (they turn up and look at another sock puppet up four rows higher) he's a bastard and a little liar. He'll lead you on off to some horrible corner of the library that'll be inappropriate for the likes of you.

FIFFER: oh, don't listen to that loudmouthed asshole! He's just angry cause he was forced to live on the higher levels of the bookcase.

EMILY: why? Did he do something bad trying to become a sock star but ended up getting cold feet? (laughing at her stupid pun)

FIFFER: no, he molested a child.

EMILY: (her face becoming serious and shocked.) Oh.

FIFFER: That's where we put child molesters and the like, up on the higher ledges of the book case so they don't bother us proper people.

DIFFER: don't listen to that lying bastard, listen to me. He's going to lead you to an unsavory area of the library and take advantage of you and then sell your kidneys for a settled sum. He's done it often to pretty girls like you.

FIFFER: Will you look at this slander? He does an indecent beyond the pail and resorts to character attacks such as that!

DIFFER: Oh don't you accuse me o' nothing you little slimeball. (to the gang) go ask mrs havisham in the next aisle, she'll clear everything up for ya.

FIFFER: like mrs. havisham will lie to these poor souls and tell them you aren't some degenerate pederast!

BAXTER: Hey, is this like one of those "one of you always lies and the other always tells the truth" sort of scenario?

FIFFER: No.

DIFFER: Of course not.

FIFFER: That sounds outright silly if you ask me.

DIFFER: you could easily just ask one of us a math question and find out right then and there right?

FIFFER: right.

Maria starts to get annoyed until she sees her brother once again, turning down an aisle.

MARIA: Javi! (she starts running down towards him.)

BAXTER: Oh not again! (he pursues her in the hall)

Maria walks a few steps in the hall, excited to see her older brother when she's confronted not by the warm and kind face of Javier, but a stranger in a long red hooded leather cloak. The hem reached all the way down to his feet and the leather was covered in intricate stitched designs that made her majica knowledge scream out in fear. The signs were not ones used lightly, they were dark and malevolent ones. The hooded figure stepped to the side and light shaded in the dark hood to show....Baxter? No, it wasn't him. This man's face was longer, harder, a short beard covered his face and the blond hair of all of Jessica's kids was long and flowed out of the hood on each side. It was the eyes which told her who she was staring at: instead of blue eyes as she expected, they were red. A deep rotten red like a dying star. Those deep malignant red eyes stared at her.

BAXTER: Mar, don't just go off on your* (he stopped speaking as soon as he saw the dark figure in the hall. His body locked up, involuntarily shaking in fright. Maria looked up to see Baxter with nothing but utter terror and shock in his face, a fear deeply rooted in his childhood.) you...you're dead......dead for a long time........

MARIA: (she turns around and hugs her friend tightly) Baxter it's okay, it's okay. He's not here. He's not here. It's just an illusion, just an illusion. He can't hurt you, he can't hurt you anymore. Hurt you or anyone else anymore. He's gone, gone, gone and far far away okay?

Devil Williams, the blight of Horror lake, turns around from them and soon enough fades away. If he was genuinely there or not is not something anyone wanted to think about. Baxter slid down to the ground, shaking, his eyes staring off into deep seated horrible memories. Maria holds him, comforting him, as Emily comes around the corner, to bend down and assist as much as she could while Arfie tries to consul him as well. Shumbling behind them is the wide gait of DIllon in his big divers suit.

The grover-looking monster lays on the ground with huge painful looking lumps on his head, unconscious as Speedy, Shelby and Greg make their way down the rock cavern.

SPEEDY: This place looks cool. It's like when we used to go to Grandpa and Grandma's island and spelunk the caves there.

GREG: Speedy, you're one of the only people in the world who would speak of monster island in a positive light. Okay, I think that light over there should be from some sort of structure. If we head there we can ask for some assistance

Shelby looks like she is near frustrated tears as she lifts up her skirt, stained and worn, with two fingers.

SHELBY: I bought this with my own money. Tutored a bunch of snot nosed kids for two months and had to help out old lady Nguyen rangle up her stray cats to afford it.

GREG: Hey Shelb, we need to get going. Come on.

SHELBY:..... It was such a pretty dress. Mom and I found it in one of those really nice and fancy malls near Pleasantville. I looked so good in it, Ash thought I was breathtaking. You hear that? Breathtaking! No boy has ever said that about me.

GREG: uh, Shelb? Ya good?

SHELBY:....I was gonna be so pretty and everyone was gonna listen to me play and they were gonna be like 'wow Shelby, I never knew how amazingly talented you were' or 'jee golly Shelby, you sure make an example for a perfect lady' or Ash, Ash, he'd go 'wow shelby, you were so pretty and magnificent, let's go down to the creek so I can ravash you on the riverbed like in some cheesy danielle steele novel'.....

GREG: um....(to Speedy) is she okay?

SPEEDY: Oh, she'll be fine. In a few seconds she'll start yelling gibberish and get it out of her system...

SHELBY:STUPIDMORNICLITTLEWITCHANDHERLITTLEPUNKBOYFUCKFACEGARTHALAGHAJUGARREMELERELASHARAHARAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

SPEEDY: There she goes. I think she gets it from dad.

The three of them start heading towards the light, Shelby still feeling down in the dumps for the entire situation. Luckily Speedy has a light on his helmet to illuminate the path.

SHELBY: (to greg) it's just... can't this stuff happen when someone else is having something important to do?

GREG: It's not up to us to decide Shelb, that's up to God and fate to decide.

SHELBY: I know but still... can't it ruin something speedy is doing and enjoying?

The three find themselves within the library labyrinth. On their way to the maze is a long golden bridge guarded by a single 15 foot maroon creature with a big bulbous nose and an oval shaped body. It stared down at the gang approaching.

GREG: uh, um, hey there my good fellow. Um.....we were just wondering if you could help tell us where we are and how we might possibly get out of here?

The creature just stares down at him, scratching his belly.

SPEEDY: (pushing Greg out of the way) out of the way greg. We tried your diplomatic approach, now it's time to try my dynoplamatic approach. (rolls up his sleeves and stares squarely at the giant monsters) hey you! Big nose! Where the hell are* (the monster quicking grabs a giant mammoth wooden club and raised it over his head, both hands on the grip.) yu-oh.

The monster slams the mallet with full force on top of Speedy, creating a shockwave, billowing winds around Shelby and Greg. When the dust settled, the club was split in two and speedy was standing in place, his hardhat broken.

SPEEDY: Ah, my hat! My precious hat! It was so vibrant and full of life! Taken from this world too early. (speedy hollars and leaps into the air, smashing his left fist into the right side of the monster's face.)

Greg and Shelby run to help out.

SHELBY: It always has to be a fight, never just be a nice little conversation can it?

Arfie licks the shocked face of Baxter as he comes back to his senses. Emily hands him a bottle of water she kept with her. He took a small sip and breathed in.

EMILY: jeez blondie (she put a hand through his hair) you looked like you just saw your worst nightmare.

MARIA: He did. We just saw an afterimage of Devil. (Emily gives her a startled look) he wasn't here, just a memory, an afterimage. (she stands up.) which means the dream was right, there is something here that Devil doesn't want us to know about. Something that does genuinely scare him. You know what that means?

EMILY: we stay the fuck away from it?

MARIA: no, it means that Javi is actually alive! (she turns to Baxter) are you alright now?

BAXTER: yeah, it was just....... A shock to the system was all. I'm good. (he sits up, petting Arfie) let's get going. Do we have any idea where the hell we're supposed to go?

MARIA: Well, Javis after image led us this way, and since we saw Devils afterimage also coming this way, it should be down here.

DRAZETH: That and far far more, my dear Maria. (At that, a snow white owl flies down before them and shimmers into the visage of a strikingly handsome dark elf with silver hair and black jerkins which barely conceals his very large bulge.)

DILLON: Aaah! Magic!! (He quickly hits a button on his belt which releases three golf balls out of a small tube at Drazath, which impotantly bounce off of him)

DRAZATH: As I was saying, allow me to introduce myself to you, my darling Maria. I am the lord of this humble library labyrinth, the dark elf king of the goblins, Drazath Do'Durdan. (he takes her hand in his and kisses the back of her hand)

MARIA: Do I know you?

DRAZATH: Soon you will know me very very well. (a glass orb appears in his hand and proceeds to roll the orb to and fro on his hands, arms and shoulders.) it would be impossible for someone as lovely as you to wander into my kingdom without my notice.

MARIA: wha?

DRAZATH: (the orb rolls into his cupped fingers) a proposition, my wonderful maiden. (instantaneously, the orb is gone with the snap of Drazaths fingers and Maria is garbed is a silky white dress of immense beauty, her hair in curlets, blushed cheeks and rouge lips as she spins in a twirl on the tips of her toes with a face of wonder.) marry me and this realm, this entire domain will be ours, side by side.

EMILY: Oh god, I'm gonna throw up.

DRAZATH: (leaning forward) what do you say, my maiden?

MARIA: Um, how about a no? This situation got a lot of Chris Hansen vibes to it if you ask me personally. Also, your kingdom is a library. That makes you kind of like some sort of hobo or something.

Drazath stands back up, a haunting and hurt look on his face. He snorts in smug defiance.

DRAZATH: Well, it's not as if you have a choice in this situation. (he snaps his fingers and a hundred little fuzzy goblins come out, snatching her wand/broom and purse of totems away and carrying her off down the dark crowded halls of tombs and bound leatherbacks.)

BAXTER: Hey! Let go of her right now! You might dress like it but this ain't 12th century France you damn bobkins!! (and so the gang goes in pursuit through those same wonderful collections of calculus and algebraic hardbacks.)

DILLON: Hey, wait, I'm coming too! (And follows with his astronaut gait)

Another giant bookcase falls down from the thundering blow of Speedy, who walks through the opening he carved. Greg and Shelby followed suit, Shelby looking at least a little better than before.

SPEEDY: see? I always make good shortcuts, don't I?

GREG: I have no way of even perceiving how much damage you have done while doing that. Who knows exactly what knowledge you've wrecked.

GIZMO: Oh, don't worry, that was just our James Patterson section. (they turn to find a big nosed goblin with blue fur sitting on a large stack of books. He wears a paper mache crown and a staff made out of rolled up magazines stapled together.) no ones going to miss them.

SHELBY: you're not going to attack us, are you?

GIZMO: no, why would I do that? I'm 3'9" and your buddy right there just knocked down a twenty story tall book case, why would I want to fight him? Am I crazy?

SHELBY: well....I just.... Ya know....it's typical... (she sighs and facepalms) nevermind, who are you and have you found some dinks walking about this place?

GIZMO: Why, I am Gizmo, the rightful king of the goblins, before I was usurped by that foul dark elf Drazath. Furthermore I see many dinks each and every day. They live in this section. (he waves his hand over to a bunch of weird caterpillar looking creatures with buck teeth.)

DINK 1: Dink!

DINK 2: Dink!

(shelby groans)

GREG: we're looking for a few friends of ours. A young hispanic girl, about 4'11, most likely with a blond guy in glasses and a denim jacket. They're probably with an older lady, most likely wearing some metal band shirt and too many piercings in her face and a little beagle.

GIZMO: nope, don't think I've seen them. Oh wait, I think I have. (that's when Baxter, Emily and Arfie come sliding into the hall.)

EMILY: I knew we shouldn't have listened to you. 'Shortcut', how the hell would you know a shortcut in a place you've never been to.

BAXTER: I was thinking ahead. Hey! (Baxter and Emily spot Shelby, Greg and Speedy and haul ass to them.) What the hell are you guys doing here?

SHELBY: Oh, well just ruining my day by hunting you two morons down. Where the hells maria?

BAXTER: some white haired pointy ear guy in black with a big dick came and swooped her up with a bunch of his goblin goons. We're trying to catch up with them

GIZMO: (gasps) oh no! She's been kidnapped by him, Drazath the false king! You have no idea what kind of horrors are in store for her!

BAXTER: Well, thanks for the heads up, but if we don't know where the hells she is it doesn't mean jack, and, by the way, who the hell are you?

GIZMO: I am Gizmo, the rightful king, and seemingly, with kids such as you, with power beyond imagining....

GREG: How do you figure that?

GIZMO: That kid over there just toppled a bookcase the size of small building. I'm gonna make a healthy guess and say you all have extraordinary powers as well. (he gets off of his pile of books.) With your lot at my side, I may be able to finally reclaim my throne and do away with the vile Drazath. (he turns with a flourish, raising his scepter) onward! To the poetry section!!

Maria sits upon a small seat made out of old romance paperbacks in a large room filled with fuzzy goblins roaming about. Drazath lounges on his high throne made of classic literature such as moby dick, crime and punishment and the entire 50 shades of gray series.

DRAZATH: Soon enough my fair maiden, you will be mine.

MARIA: Maybe if you made this place not smell like skuttle man stink.

DRAZATH: (turning to a goblin soldier) You remind me of the babe

GOBLIN: What babe?

DRAZATH: the babe with the power

GOBLIN: what power

DRAZATH: the power of voodoo

GOBLIN: Whodoo?

DRAZATH: you do

GOBLIN: Do what

DRAZATH: remind me of the babe

('uptown girl' by billy joel starts play')

Upworld girl

She's been living in her upside world

I bet she's never met a fea-born guy

I bet her momma never told her why

(strutting down the steps of the throne)

I'm gonna try for an upworld girl

She's been living in her mortal man world

As long as anyone with old blood can

And now she's looking for an Avalon man

That's what I am

(grabs maria and twirls her about before holding her in his arm in a low bow)

And when she knows what

She wants from her time

And when she wakes up

And makes up her mind

(he spins her a second time, landing at a beautiful desk inlaid with silver and pearl, her hands over her heart with a shocked expression.)

She'll see I'm not so cold

Just because

I'm in love with an upworld girl

You know I've seen her in her mortal world

She's getting tired of her iron-made toys

And all her presents from her mortal boys

She's got a choice

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

The song and dance routine abruptly stops when Speedy and Greg both drop kick a bookcase down onto the earth, shaking the foundation. The gang comes into the royal chambers in a hurry, except Dillon who's still waddling forward.

DRAZATH: Who disturbs my wooing ceremony? It costs quite a bit to earn those royalties!!

SPEEDY: Shut up, you feature none of the detailed nuance or sophisticated blending of styles billy joel has! You discredit that song!

BAXTER: (kicks speedys face away) Who gives a crap about that crap right now, give us back our maria!

DRAZATH: oh, I'm sorry my good man but it seems that our sweet and beautiful maria has already made her choice.

MARIA: I have?

DRAZATH: Why of course, I have smitten you, haven't I my dear darling?

MARIA: no

DRAZATH: no?

MARIA: I mean, well, the song was pretty lovely and the gown is gorgeous and I'm super flattered that you like me so much but, sorry, I'm not gonna boink you.

DRAZATH: (sneers) Well, it doesn't matter, I am still the king and I have claimed her hand in marriage and there is nothing you can do to stop me.

SHELBY: Oh yeah? Well, we have the rightful king to the throne right here, the great Gizmo. (Shelby thrusts her finger at the paper mache garbed goblin besides her.) How do you feel about that, usurper Drazath?

DRAZATH: He's not the king, he's just a crazy person.

SHELBY: Come again?

DRAZATH: yeah, Gizmo had a mental breakdown a couple months back due to sorting all the weird five nights at freddy's x sonic the hedgehog fanfictions. We keep him around the dinks to calm him down.

SHELBY: well....(looking around) you still can't kidnap Maria against her will like that!

DRAZATH: I have and I will. There's no way out of it. Unless....

BAXTER: Unless what?

DRAZATH: (stands up with a flourish) I challenge! If you win I will have her hand in marriage. If you win, she is able to go free without a care.

BAXTER: (punches into his hand) Sounds great! I can do another stupid riddle contest again. No problem there.

DRAZATH: no no no dear boy. This is the challenge of (sweeps his cape with flourish) the magic dance!

BAXTER: Oh no.

DRAZATH: oh yes. if you can outdance me, you win. Sadly, you had already accepted the challenge. (he sits down on his throne, legs crossed, fingers steepled, with a sly grin on his face.) I will let you go first little one. See how well you fare.

Maria runs to stand besides Baxter as the young man becomes flustered and upset.

MARIA: Baxter, you can win this, you know you can win this!

BAXTER: How!? I don't know how to dance at all.

MARIA: Baxter, we both know that's not true. You can dance, and you can dance one dance really really well.

Baxter looks confused for the first moments until he gets the revelation. He turns sheet white and then dark green, his eyes the size of saucers.

BAXTER: You can't possibly mean that! Please Mar, don't make me do that! I'll do anything else but that!

MARIA: But bax, if you don't do it I'll have to marry him and he's a thousand years old and I'll have to live in some musty old cavern and our kids will have pointy ears and everyone will go 'oh look, there goes the pointy eared kids of Maria Santanna, who could have easily have not had to marry some evil elf goblin if her BEST FRIEND (she smacks him on his side) simply danced for her'!

BAXTER: (looking at the gang then looking back at her, his face is pleading) I'll come down and visit ya and we can help trim their ears down together! Please, Maria, you can't make me do that! Anything but that!

MARIA: (looking hurt with puppy dog eyes) but....you said you'd do anything for me.....(she pouts at him, staring with puppy dog eyes)

BAXTER: maria, please, you can't make me....(Maria continues to give him her puppy dog look)...this is embarrassing Mar, you can't....please, I'm begging ya....(frustrated, he looks to the side with a grumpy look and says with a seething voice) ready the song. Just get the song ready.

MARIA: (Hugs him and kisses his cheek, Baxter still looking like a bowl of fiery anger) you're the best Bax.

BAXTER: (grumbling under his breath, he turns to the rest of the gang) you all, turn around while I do this.

SPEEDY: no, we wanna see it.

SHELBY: (with a snarky smile) what sort of dance is it? Think of this as payback for ruining my damn concert.

BAXTER: I will only do this if all of you turn the hell around and not see this!

GREG: I, and I believe everyone else agrees, we are just gonna sit back and watch this as a form of retribution Bax.

DILLON: it takes me forever to turn around in this suit.

EMILY: Come on blondie, I wanna watch ya bust some moves for us.

Baxter starts grumbling furiously while giving them all nasty looks.

BAXTER: you! Goblin! Give me that hat! (The goblin gives him a rhinestone studded cowboy hat and grabs at his belt) I swear to god I hate every single one of you and will set everything on fire.

Maria sets her phone on the ground and shortly starts playing 'achy breaky heart'. Baxter proceeds to dance, to dance flawlessly I might add, to that rootin tootin routine.

SHELBY: Oh my god! It's amazing! It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen!

EMILY: well, there goes his entire sex life.

GREG: ya know, I always kind of knew in the back of my mind that he was white trash, but this certainly cements the fact that he's most likely white trash.

SPEEDY: eh, south park did it better.

Baxter finishes the dance before the drow goblin king, who glowered down at the young rootin' tootin' man.

DRAZATH: (huffs and stares off to the left.) Just take her, you little bastard. Outdance me will you. (he and his court turn into puffs of smoke.)

SHELBY: (looking at maria) ah, you look really pretty Mar. ya know, for a brief moment of time I also felt really pretty, until some tiny little witch went ahead and RUINED MY MOMENT for me. I like your dress though, it's really really nice.

GREG: Why the hell did you come spelunking all the way down here?

MARIA: It's a long story but I can't go just yet. There's something important here, really really important, and I can't even think of leaving until I get it. (she starts looking around the room until she spots him, the afterimage of Javi, his back walking into a room.) Javi!! (she runs at a frantic pace in the room he entered.)

EMILY: Squirt!

BAXTER: Oh, come on girl, I just saved you in a dance contest! (he runs after her.)

Maria runs into the dark room ahead, followed shortly after by baxter. The iron door shuts tight behind them with a slam. Greg, speedy and Shelby start pulling at the door handle to no avail.

Maria finds herself in a long hallway, dimly lit from hanging gas lamps from the ceiling. In the distance walks the back of her brother, slowly walking away. She sprints down the hall after the image of him. She soon comes to a circular room where the after image of her brother kneels before the body of a man leaning against the wall. Her heart skips a beat, eyes wide thinking that Javi was kneeling before the blight of horror lake but she soon realizes that it's not him. His long leather jacket is a deep cerulean blue rather than the crimson red of Devils, his golden hair was braided, and, most importantly, his eyes didn't burn with a red hellfire light but were golden, a bright calming color like the shining rays of the sun. blood covers the kind and gentle face and the man's left arm laid limply and mangles on the floor. Javier wails out in anger and rage and darts into the next room in a blitz. Maria follows in her panicked sprint to meet up with her brother. The long corridors and halls spiral and spin, wildly turning in erratic patterns until she finds herself in a huge room with pillars lining it.

The books are different here, she notices. Instead of the leathered bindings of the other rooms, these had a white style binding with black lacings. They looked cold, almost sterile, and she knew if she picked one up it would be as cold as ice.

BAXTER: Maria! (she turns to the voice as Baxter comes halling into the room. Panting hard and sweating) jesus christ girl.....you need to join track......why'd you run off like that?

MARIA: I saw Javi come in here. I think this is the place I needed to go, there's something here that is supposedly really upsetting to Devil and Javi wants me to find it.

BAXTER: Well, whoopdy-shit, there's about a thousand books here. Which one is the big bad one?

Maria bites her lower lip in frustration. It'd take years to find which one was the book Javi mentioned. She scanned the room looking for any clues.

JAVIER: maria...(she turns to see her brother, this time like she had seen in her dream, warn, horrid, haggard. Even with his warn harsh face there was such jubilation irradiating from it at that moment.) oh my god, Maria.

MARIA: Javi!! (she runs in a sprint to give him a hug but ends up right through him)

JAVIER: Honey, I'm not here right now. I'm astroprojecting, as best as I can without being known. (he looks at Baxter with, first inquisition then realization) Baxter? Holy shit, you've grown! I remember when you two just ran about the backyard all the time, tiny as all hell. (he shook his head.) listen, I don't have much time. (he walks up and points to the second row, the very middle book in that row.) it's this one, right here. This holds the secrets to defeating him, if anything does. A lot of people lost their (he chokes) their lives trying to stop him and more are doing that even today. (back to them.) If anyone can find a way to stop him, it's you guys. I know it's you guys.

Maria walks up and pulls out the pearl white book from the shelf. It was heavy and, like she thought, ice cold to the touch. The cover was written in a blocky alphabet she didn't know. It was large, roughly bigger than a typical grimoire at home. She stuffed the book into her hat, feeling good about herself and turned around to see two javiers. Two separate Javiers, the one she had just finished talking to, the old haggard one, but across the room was another, laying on the ground, battered, bruised, bloodied. standing over the bloodied Javier, his hands in the pockets of his leather cloak with the hood down so his golden hair streamed down, was him.

JAVIER: Maria! Do not look! Stop looking!

She couldn't listen. The sight held her in place. Devil squatted down beside the bloodied body.

DEVIL: Behold, whelp of my brother, what your noble ambitions gave you? Near deaths door and I, without a scratch. Hardly fair, is it? All those years of toil, gaining strength to do, I presume, grand acts of benevolence and the betterment of humanity, yet it comes to an end here, in futility. (he smiles and laughs) on any other occasion, I would simply enjoy your despair as you die, knowing there was nothing in your power to stop me, but this time it was different. You attacked me, challenged me, declared victory against me. How dare you declare such hubris, contest against a scion of the darkness beyond the void.

MARIA: Javi.......

JAVIER: Maria! Stop looking at it! Please!

DEVIL: For your arrogance I will grant you a gift, (his hand slowly descends onto Javier's forehead) you will not find death today, but certainly not life either. A thrall, my own personal slave. Your mind locked away in the deep bowels of your mind, chained up, made impotent but not blind. Your body, your power, everything will be at my bidding, to do as I wish while you remain in your prison, watching. (he smiles) imagine yourself as my marionette, burning newborn babes with your wizard fire, knowing every detail, but unable to do anything about it. An entire life locked in a cage as I use you.

MARIA: No! No!

BAXTER: (grabbing her and hugging her.) Don't look at it mar, just don't look at it. (She couldn't stop, her eyes peeking over her friends shoulder, wide and beholden to the events transpiring)

DEVIL: I could, if I cared enough, have you murder your entire family, butcher and rape everyone within, you would know every detail of the horror and be unable to thwart it. Hopefully this will humble you.

MARIA: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

The ceiling shatters as Angelica and Diego sail down from the sky, black feathers falling with them, as they land. Angelica spins to comfort her daughter and Diego slams his cane into the ground, a brilliant golden shine sparking from within the cane.

DIEGO: ¡Fuera, sangre inmunda de los demonios! (the afterimages fade like mist within the winds.)

Diego turns to his family to find angelica, her hands over her mouth, as she regards the astralprojection of their son Javier, the son they had thought they had lost so long ago. Tears fall from her face. Diego almost drops his cane as he stares at the son he thought was gone forever.

JAVIER: Mom. Dad.

ANGELICA: (tears streaming.) mi hijo, mi querido hijo.

JAVIER: I'm sorry. I did my best

The room dimmed, the lanterns and candelabras shook and, suddenly, a dark mist came, filled with red lightning and shaped as a giant visage of that evil man who took everything from them. It screams a roar, mouth filled with red lightning, engulfed Javier and disappeared, yanking him away like a ragdoll. Only the echoing sobs of Maria and the kind words of Baxter were heard in that cold airless room.

Back home, Maria sat on her bed, cradling the book she had snatched from the library. After the verbal thrashing she got from her father and mother for the stupid stupid stunt she had done, she was grounded for atleast the very perceivable future, with the exception of of course baxters stupid head. They knew they couldn't make him stay away even if they wanted to.

Maria wasn't even thinking about it, all she could think about was the vision she had seen in that room, of what Devil had done to Javi. she had known he was cruel and evil. But.....

There was a knock on the door.

MARIA: come in.

Angelica swept in like she always did, as a wisp of wind. She slowly made her way to the end of the bed and sat down.

ANGELICA: So, do you understand now, why I didn't want you to have anything to do with that blasted portal?

MARIA: some dark elf in really tight pants will try to marry you?

ANGELICA: Well, there's that, but there are places that can bring dark eyes upon you. Dark and malicious eyes that can hurt you and harm you. (she cups marias face.) I already lost one child to him, I will not lose another one. You understand that?

MARIA: I didn't know he was...

ANGELICA: That and worse. Though, I have to say, your father was impressed with you. (Maria looks up at her.) when he was young he challenged Drazath and lost. For you to win against him, not a trifling feat.

MARIA: Well, I didn't really defeat him. That was Baxter.

ANGELICA: Well, I'd have to thank him for that. That library isn't very enjoyable, though the dinks were kinda fun. (Maria looked at her mother with a knowing look. Her mother answered simply with a smile.) Why do you think your grandfather was so insistent in sealing it?

MARIA: mom, no offense but that makes it even weirder. (Angelica laughs.)

ANGELICA: Well, it is quite a peculiar situation. (she pats her hand on marias knee.) I also argued about your grounding with your father. Though you did disobey us, you gave us something irreplaceable in exchange: hope. Though dire, we do know that Javier is alive.

MARIA: So I'm not grounded?

ANGELICA: oh, you're still grounded. For two weeks and after school you will do nothing but study the arcane. Not the fun ones you enjoy either, the old musty tombs we keep in storage fresa, the ones on purifying water and translating the conversations between ferns and, trust me, ferns don't have very riveting conversations. (Maria groans while holding the tomb. Angelica gets up.) for now, though, get some sleep and rest alright? (she bends down, kisses the top of her head and leaves.)

Maria sat for a few moments before relaxing her grip on the book. She had read it already, or at least tried to. The script was some odd alien script she had never seen before. There was only one thing she could read, one thing that was a bit perplexing to her. What did they have to do with devil?

On the front of the book, written at the very bottom, were the words "property of Dobsey Inc."