Noooooo!

I Plop in the eighth coin and twist the nob on the machine.

*Crank Crank Plop.*

Opening the egg there is a fountain?

"Congratulations on obtaining the legendary desert fountain! Instead of water this fountain sprays out delicious deserts, pudding, chocolate, milkshakes. It can also evolve when you find other delicious treats." the cloud says.

I just nod before lunging at the cloud. "Are you having a fucking giggle?!?! This is a desert fountain. I haven't received any fucking weapons or bloodlines and yet I've got fucking 4 inventory based items and 2 food based items. You wanna catch these fists?!?!" I scream at the cloud.

It takes me a while to calm down before putting in my 9th coin and twisting the nob again.

*Crank Crank Plop*

Opening the egg there is a coupon.

"Congratulation on obtaining the basic pity of your fan they have granted you a wish of your own. Use it wisely." the cloud says.

"Oh my god finally something that is going my way." I shout happily.

I put in my last and final coin and Crank the nob. *Crank Crank Plop*

Opening up the egg it's a brain with a shield.

"Congratulation on gaining mental defenses and immunity to mental based attacks." the cloud says happily.

I lay down on the floor in utter defeat. Basically lottery prizes are fucking garbage. I could have learned occulmency or something instead of getting mental defenses.

The gumball machine dissapears. "Now it's time for your world to be chosen!" the cloud says as a large wheel appears.

I just lay there lifelessly. All my hopes and dreams are crushed.

Suddenly the cloud spins the wheel with a clack clack clack noise.

I watch in horror as it slowly stops on Naruto. To make matters worse there is a head under the name which I presume is who I'll be taking over.

"No. You can't do this to me!" I shout jumping to my feet.

"The fans have spoken young one." The cloud says in a sage like voice.

"No please anything but that let me be even Rock Lee, or Shino!" I shout in horror.

For some reason the cloud now has a sage like beard and hands. "You reap what you sow young one. The fans have seen your hatred of that character and wish for you to walk a mile in his shoes."

"I reject. Change it I'll use my wish." I say firmly.

"Your rejection is rejected." The cloud says as I vanish.

Next thing I know I'm sitting straight up in my bed. "Oh thank god it was just a horrifying nightmare." I say in relief using my tiny hands to wipe sweat off my forehead.....

Tiny hands?

...some memories smash into my mind as my eyes go wide.

I leap out of the bed and rush towards the bathroom in the strange house.

Yanking open the door I see the worst sight imaginable. The Visage of young Sasuke Uchiha staring me back in the face.

"Noooooooo!"

I fucking hate Sasuke Uchiha with a fucking passion. The little emo bitch who always cries about his family. The fucking retard who has cheat like eyes that can copy pretty much every ability yet he only learns like 4 fucking jutsu through the whole series. He somehow only managed to attract flat chested girls as well. Sakura, Ino, Karin.

It's a nightmare.

And to top it all off half of the series is him being chased around by that pedo orochimaru.

I repress a cold shiver down my butt at that thought.

I grab onto the sink. "Calm down just calm down."

I see a familiar looking duck butt hairstyle once more in my vision and grimace.

No no we can fix that don't worry.

I calmly go over the memories in my head. Apparently I'm 6 years old right now. The Uchiha massacre has already happened.

Lucky for me the memory of the incident is just a memory it doesn't really effect my personality. Which is great.

"But why Sasuke. Fuck I really hate this character." I cry out once more.

On the bright side it could have been worse. I could have been Sakura.

No. No. Just get rid of those thoughts

I take a few more seconds to calm down.

Looking around I go over some of the memories I have. I rush to the closet and pull out some clothes and grimace again. Every single one of them have the Uchiha sign on them.

Yeah great tactics for a ninja put your clan symbol on everything you own so that your enemies can identify who you are.

I throw on some clothes and grab some money from inside one of the drawers in my bedroom.

I also make trips around the compound and snatched up any jutsu scrolls or hidden weapons quickly storing them in my new Gate of Babylon.

I took a peak inside and it's exactly as stated. Completely empty with just pure golden floors as far as the eye can see.

"Ah well maybe I'll find a boulder or something I can throw at enemies." I mutter heading out of the compound looking like a complete doucher.

First stop is the barber shop.

I'm sitting in the chair as the old barber gives me a quick trim just cutting off most of my hair leaving it short and spikey.

Ugh I'm so used to my sandy blonde hair not black hair.

"All done lad." The barber says brushing the hair off my neck.

Looking in the mirror I look less like a doucher. I pay the barber before heading off to the clothes store with everyone whispering about me with pity or wishing me a good day.

Ugh pity stares.

I ignore them and head inside the store and start picking out some regular clothes and shoes that aren't ninja sandals.

Plain black short sleeved shirts and anbu style long pants with black shoes.

They are actually good quality. I also buy a large black jacket, a facemask and some tinted goggles. I got some plans bitch.