Chapter 294

They sat in the library, taciturn and in shock. The silence was deafening.

After what felt like forever, Sebastian spoke.

"Pearl. The first thing I want you to know is that I care about you, very much." He said. "And the next thing I want you to know is that I'm not sorry." He said.

"Im sorry too.. wait. You're not?" She said.

"No. I'm not." He said.

"You were a mess. You he saved his life only a few months prior. You had two deceptive and failed relationships and you were desperately trying to find a man that had murdered a woman and not told you. You were drunk. Scared. Lonely. And you needed me. And if I can be perfectly honest, I needed you, too. I still do." He said. Pearl looked at him, trying to understand.

"I'm no saint and I'm far from innocent here, obviously. But neither is Erik. He lied to you. And I'm certain there is more to it. I never left your side after, if that is what happened. And if Christian is mine, I will be the happiest man in the fucking world. And if you don't want to tell Erik, I'll agree. I'll hate it but I'll agree. But I'm still not leaving your side so you'll have to just be with us both. So no, I'm not sorry. I wish I could remember it. I do. Only because I want to remember what it felt like to hold you. To be that close to you, inside of you. That's the only thing I regret." He said, looking over at her, his eyes red and a tear running down his face.

"Sebastian, I cheated on him. With his cousin. And his child, the fucking heir to the throne, may not be his. How can I hold anything against him?" She said.

"That's it. That's it right there. That's why you keep allowing yourself to be destroyed my these men. Make them take some accountability, once in your fucking life! Once! That's your biggest problem. Your only problem. Other than that you are fucking perfect. A goddamn goddess. But you and your bleeding, fucking understanding heart. It's going to destroy you! Be selfish once in your life. Say no. Say when. Say they don't deserve a second chance. Say something for fuck's sake! I'm proud of you for getting yours. For finding comfort somewhere. Anywhere. With me! Thank god it was me! I feel lucky as hell! Pearl, he killed a woman and attacked many more. And didn't tell you. And you and I both know where there's smoke, there is fire. There are more skeletons in his closet. Say it. Say he may have deserved what we did. And say it, say you may have been better off if he wouldn't have come home." He said. She stood up and slapped him. Hard.

He looked at her, stunned. His grey eyes clear and bright and reddened from tears.

He grabbed her face and kissed her, his brow furrowed and his face pained. He consumed her mouth like a starving animal that had finally found flesh. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him. It was desperate and frantic. She kissed him back and welcomed his embrace.

But her conscious stopped her.

"Wait. Bash. Wait." She said. He pulled her away from him and looked into her eyes.

"We can't. We can't do this right now. I need to get my head right." She said.

"I understand." He said. Letting her go, still breathless and tense.

She kissed his cheek and looked at him, lovingly.

"I love you, Bash. I really do." She said, turning and walking towards the door.

"Pearl." He called out, his voice cracking. "I'm proud of you." He said.

"For what?" She asked.

"For saying when." He said, smiling.