Chapter 4

Mr. Ryckle stopped his hit and run complaints. He sent her a long rambling email about how he expected his teachers to maintain a certain standard and decorum in the class. He was going to keep watching her.

Leigh deleted the email in disgust, then had second thoughts and moved it into a file along with the email about her taking a split class that had arrived minutes before she began the first day of school.

She sat down the last Friday in September to set up her medication for the week; she only had enough to get her through another couple of weeks. Leigh checked the bottles and was horrified to see she had no more refills. Tuesday morning, she would call and make an appointment to get them renewed. She marked the calendar before putting everything away.

Fran would be coming for dinner and Leigh didn't want to have what looked like an entire pharmacy lying around her home. The roast went into the oven before she headed out to the mall to get the rest of the things she needed.

Jim had the car, so she walked. The sky loomed heavy and grey with a distinct chill in the air. Better make it quick, don't want to be walking in a blizzard. People crowded the mall as if everyone else also decided to shop for the weekend. Leigh had to stand in line for longer than it took to find the groceries.

As soon as she stepped out the door she knew she was in trouble. The snow lay thick on the ground with more blowing about. It coated the ground with a slick, white coat her boots refused to grip. She fell before she even got to the curb.

"Hey there." A man stood beside her and held out his hand. "The first real snow is always like this." Leigh let him pull her to her feet. She kept her grip on him as her boots still had no traction. "You'll never make it home in this," the man said. "I'll drive you." He walked her to a huge black truck that rumbled at the curb. "I'm Mr. Tanist, Jack to you."

"Thanks, Jack." Leigh settled herself and her groceries in the truck. He closed the door then walked around to the other side and climbed into the driver's seat.

"You need to get some of these if you are going to do much walking here." He pointed at his feet where rubber straps holding something on the bottom of his boots. "They aren't any good it the mall, but they are amazing in the snow. The pharmacy carries them."

"I'll get a pair," Leigh said. She was going to tell Jack where she lived, but he had already pulled out and headed for her home.

"In a town this size, it's hard to keep secrets," Jack said, "I know the guy who's renting you the trailer. Makes it easy to help out your neighbours." He pulled into the drive and ran around the truck to let her out. "Take it easy now," he said before he jumped back into the truck and roared off.

Leigh walked carefully into the house and sat down with a sigh. She could feel a bit of an ache from her backside, but perhaps her dignity had the worse bruise. It was a good thing that Jack had come by.

Dinner was a great success as Jim and Fran exchanged stories while Leigh listened and relaxed. Maybe this whole crazy venture would work out after all. Jim seemed to be enjoying his work here, though it was very different from the detachment he had worked at just outside of Winnipeg. Felt good to be teaching again too. The last year had been very hard.

Hard to believe this time last year, I was convinced that I would never teach again. She hadn't felt up to cooking meals or going out to someone else's dinner. She'd huddled in bed while Jim worked. It amazed her that she had friends again. Even before she got sick, she'd always had trouble making friends. Once she'd got sick, people who had been her friends were scared off. She didn't know how much of her struggle the past year had been simple loneliness, and how much depression and anxiety.

Leigh admired her husband. He wasn't overly tall or big, but there was a strength in him she always envied. Some of the stories he told! If she were in those situations, she would have just fallen apart. He just stayed calm and focused. He never got scared or upset.

Jim drove Fran home then helped to finish cleaning up.

"Great dinner, Leigh." Jim scrubbed at the roaster. "It was fun having Fran here. Not that I mind spending time with just the two of us." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her and Leigh laughed.

"You're crazy," she said, "But I love you anyways."

"That's funny, because I'm just madly in love with you too." He leaned over and gave her a long kiss before he went back to the dishes.

"There's nothing sexier than a man doing dishes," Leigh picked up a stack of plates to dry.

"So I'm guessing you don't want a dishwasher then?"

"I have one." Leigh stood behind him and slid her fingers under his shirt. Jim set the roaster upside down on the counter and turned to face her. Leigh's heart sped up as his fingers slowly undid the buttons on her shirt and pushed it out of his way. He leaned down to give her a long kiss. Just before she closed her eyes, a shadow flitted past the window. She gasped and Jim stepped back. Leigh heard a child's giggle outside. She took Jim's hand and led him to the bedroom, making extra sure the drapes were closed before pushing him down on the bed and picking up where they had left off in the kitchen.

Tuesday morning, Leigh called the clinic to make an appointment. Dr. Kwali's schedule was full so she made arrangements to see a Dr. Diat on the following Monday. It was getting tight, but it should still be OK.

Leigh enjoyed the rest of the week. Mr. Ryckle didn't come by any more and she stopped worrying about him to appearing at any moment to criticize her teaching. The children warmed up to her as she relaxed. Even Anna opened up a bit. Leigh thought she saw Jack watching her gym class a couple of times and she noticed his big black truck around town. She just waved at him and kept on with what she was doing.

The weather turned warm and the snow melted. Leigh still stopped into the pharmacy and bought a pair of the traction aids for her boots. She shoved them into her purse. Now, I'm truly ready for winter.

Monday morning Leigh went to her doctor's appointment. Dr. Diat was a nervous young man with an undefinable accent. He sat and listened to her explain what she needed while he tapped a pencil on the desk.

"I have a severe depression and anxiety disorder." Leigh tried to keep her voice matter-of-fact. "I had a psychotic break last year and was hospitalized for the summer. It took me most of the year to get back to the place where I can teach. I need to renew my medication to keep everything on an even keel."

"You understand this is a very powerful collection of drugs," Dr. Diat said. He waved the list of medications at her. "Maybe we should think about cutting back on them."

"NO!" Leigh's heart skipped a beat. "This works, I don't want to change anything."

"I don't know." He fiddled with his pen. "I am unsure about writing such a prescription for you."

"You're afraid to write my prescription, but not concerned about changing what works?"

"I don't know you," the doctor said, "These could be very dangerous."

"It will be very dangerous if I don't get them."

"I will make a referral," Dr. Diat pulled a pad toward him. "There is a Doctor you can see in Thompson who will assess you."

"I don't need an assessment; I need my medication."

"I can't write this prescription. You will need to see this Doctor in Thompson."

"How long will it take to see this doctor in Thompson?"

"Maybe three, maybe four months."

"I need this prescription now," Leigh said, "Could you give me enough to keep me going until I see the doctor in Thompson?"

"I told you, I can't write this prescription. It is much too dangerous."

Leigh left the clinic with her head spinning. Her hands shook, but she forced herself to go to the school. They were expecting her to be there by mid-morning. When she got to her class, she found the social worker from the coffee shop holding her students enthralled with a story about meeting a bear.

"You look like you need a cup of something," he said, "I'll finish the story while you go make yourself some tea or something." Leigh just nodded gratefully and went to the staff room and put the kettle on.

Mr. Ryckle showed up as she poured tea into her mug.

"What are you doing here?" he said, "You are supposed to be in your class."

"The man who is substituting wanted to finish his story for the class. He told me to get some tea."

"Mr. Henry is not the principal, "Mr. Ryckle said, "I am. Go to your classroom, and in the future, you are to bring your requests for leave to me, not to the secretary."

Leigh looked at him and cupped her hands around the mug.

"What does it matter if I take a few minutes to calm down before I go into my class? Someone is there and they are enjoying the story."

"The children aren't here to have fun; they are here to learn." Mr. Ryckle frowned at her. "I expect my teachers to be professional at all times. Clearly, you don't have what it takes to teach in this school."

"Speaking of professionalism," Leigh took a deep breath. "I appreciate that you are no longer criticizing my class in front of them, but you need to let me just do my job."

"You aren't doing your job, are you Mrs. Dalrymple? You're standing here drinking tea while someone else teaches your class." Mr. Ryckle turned and left. Leigh took a sip of her tea and let out a long sigh. Regretfully, she put her mug on the counter and went back to her class.

That evening Jim found her in her office staring at her computer screen.

"I put some leftovers in the oven to warm up," he said, "You OK?"

"The doctor wouldn't give me a prescription," Leigh said, "He wants me to go to a doctor in Thompson and get an assessment."

"That doesn't sound so bad, when do your prescriptions run out?"

"A week Friday," Leigh started crying. She hated herself for her weakness, but she was terrified that she'd go back to the dark depression she had fought all last year.

"Can Dr. Heath help you?" Jim said, "Maybe he can fax up something until you can see this doctor in Thompson."

"That's a great idea," Leigh felt the weight lift for the first time all day. "I'll call him in the morning."

"I'd like to help you," Dr. Heath said, "But it's been six months since I saw you last. I'd like to see you to check if the medications are still working properly for you."

"But I'm up in Spruce Bay, it's a ten-hour drive to get down to Winnipeg!"

"I'll see if I can get you on a flight; you could do it all in one day. I would hate for you to lose the ground you gained in the last year."

"Thank you," Leigh closed her eyes and let relief run through her.

"Just hold on a minute then." Leigh heard music come on over the phone. Mr. Ryckle came into the staff room and frowned at her.

"You need to be in your classroom."

"I'm just waiting on hold with my specialist in Winnipeg."

"What kind of specialist?" Mr. Ryckle said.

"Excuse me," Leigh said as Dr. Heath came back on the line.

"The only day I can work you in is Friday. There's someone on a flight in from Spruce Bay already, so I got you on the same plane. Will you be able to manage that?"

"Yes," Leigh said, "I'll be there." She hung up the phone. "I won't be able to come in on Friday, I have an appointment with my specialist."

"Anything I should know?" Mr. Ryckle peered at her, frowning.

"No," Leigh said, "Everything is fine, now. It's just a checkup."

They had a once a month staff meeting with the teachers from the High School side of the school - a repeat of their weekly meetings with complaints about students coming to school drunk or stoned added in.

If all I knew about school was the staff meetings. Leigh fiddled with her pencil. I would never have become a teacher.

"Just a bit of good news to cheer everyone up," Jack stood up. "We have three students who qualified at the Regional Cross Country meet to travel to Winnipeg for the Provincials. I'll be taking them down this weekend." The teachers clapped at the announcement.

"I'll be in Winnipeg on Friday," Leigh said to Jack after the meeting. "Where's the meet? Maybe I can come a watch them race."

"That would be great," Jack said. "They're running Friday afternoon. Maybe you could have supper with us."

"I'm just in for the day for an appointment," Leigh fought to keep her eyes from rolling. "I don't think I'll have time for supper, but where's the meet?"

"It's at the university. I can meet you and take you over."

"That's all right," Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. "No need to bother, I'll catch a cab."

"Are you sure? I don't mind. Winnipeg is such a hard place to get around in."

"I lived there for the last six years," Leigh laughed. "You don't need to convince me of that."

"Suit yourself then." Jack shrugged and walked away.

That was odd, maybe he's just a little over eager because I'm new.