Stinky Shoes

THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD.

The ground shook, but I realized my trembling was not from the vibrations coming from the ground. Sister Ivy made an evil grin scrutinizing my entire body as she walked towards us.

Sister Ivy looked like she saw right through me and my clothes. I felt naked as a cold shiver ran through my body. My stomach muscles tensed, and I covered up my lower area.

"You average man. There's nothing impressive to cover up."

I was offended, and so was Number One.

"How would she know! She's never seen it! Tell her off Number Two! Show her what we're made of!"

I had no time to retort as Sister Ivy ignored my presence and focused on Gonk.

"You though... Mhm. You're impressive."

Gonk glared at Sister Ivy, but I saw the subtle blush of embarrassment on his cheeks. Gonk too covered up his lower area. Number One was throwing a hissy-fit in my mind.

"The Heavens are unfair! Where's my lawyer! This is pure discrimination! I demand compensation! Sister Ivy, you will reevaluate after the Heavens have compensated me!"

No comment. I was flabbergasted. To each their own. I looked at Sister Ivy. She was on the burlier side with her forearms the size of my head. Maybe Number One liked being woman-handled?

"No! I just wanted her to take back those words!"

From shouting in my head, I guess she wasn't to Number One's taste. She too would seem not of Gonk's taste.

"You vile Sentient Beasts! I'll fight you all to the death! You've slain countless human cultivators. We will take back our lands and enslave all you lowly creatures!"

"What is he saying Number Two! Stop him! I don't want to die!"

Number One was right, but how would I, a normal human, stop a powerful cultivator and an even more powerful Sentient Beast? Number one was an idiot. He didn't want a death wish. He wanted two. My thoughts were stopped by the angry yell of Sister Scarlett.

"You filthy human scum! Don't you dare talk about the minuscule amount of humans that died! That's far from enough! Countless of my brethren have died horrible deaths over the ages! We will wipe out your evil race!

Since the beginning of time, you malicious humans have killed us beasts for sport! You ripped our cores and harvested them for your own uses! You enslaved our brethren and forced your filthy fantasies upon their broken bodies! The Heaven's have eyes, and this is divine punishment!"

Sister Scarlett was not lying. I heard stories of the lost era when the human sects and their cultivators ruled the world. However, those stories were hard to believe now.

The human forces were currently losing the war. We are now forced into our tiny citadels, the last strongholds left for humans. The beasts were now the rulers of the world. If what Sister Scarlett said was true, then we humans are in a dangerous situation.

Maybe because Gonk had Heaven's backing, he righteously argued back with the fox woman. Pointing, he was completely enraged, spitting in anger as he retorted.

"Treacherous beasts! You dare claim Heaven did this? You think we humans are fools! We know you tampered with the veins of Soul Crystals! Now all the new crystals are tainted! You took away our power and used it on yourselves! Had it not been for your insidious schemes, we humans would have made you all fur coats long ago!"

Gonk's spit may have landed on Sister Scarlett's tail. She pulled back her tail in disgust.

A weight incomparable to Gonk's slammed the surrounding. The large branches of the trees crackled under the pressure. The ground underneath Sister Scarlett caved inwards. Gonk resisted, but he fell to his knees. And I was slammed, sprawled eagle, flat on the dirt. I may have eaten some dirt. Yuck.

A gold aura of qi swirled around Sister Scarlett. Both sides were angry, but the Sentient Beasts had the bigger fist. Well for sure Sister Ivy did. Sister Scarlett used her full strength and swatted Gonk. His satchel attached to his waist snapped off, and he flew head first right into the ample, but oddly muscular, bosom of Sister Ivy. Poor Gonk, he probably would be experiencing brain damage at this point.

"Hehehe! Thank you Sister! Come by my cave if you want some fun! Oh handsome. You're so firm! Let's go handsome, we're going to have lots of fun."

TUD! TUD! TUD! TUD! TUD! TUD!

Sister Ivy must have used a foot technique. Her afterimages were only left as she speedily took off with Gonk in a princess-carry. The way the Son of Heaven was touched and felt up made me shudder. I was reminded of Number One's earlier comment, and I made a joke at him.

"You still want some Number One? Shall we switch?"

"No! Let's get out of here! Take me away from here!"

Already sprawled out on the ground, I wanted to run but that was a bad idea. I was not stupid like Number One. There was no way I could get away. If I ran, I would end up dead or worse, like Gonk.

So I played dead.

"Hmpf! That weakling calls himself a Son of Heaven! Well now he will be Ivy's boy toy. She'll break him and make him wish he was dead. That Ivy. She has such a sadistic side."

I felt Sister's Scarlett's gaze on my sprawled body. I prayed, but Number One was praying even more than I was.

"Please! Heavens! Have mercy! I take back my transgressions! I won't sue you! I'll take what you gave me! Save me! You can sacrifice Number Two, but please! Save me!"

I wanted to smack Number One if I could. The traitor. Always throwing me under the bus.

"Ugly. That's already a terrible fate. You'll be eaten by the dumb beasts. There's no need for me to dirty my hands. I should go see what Sister Ivy is up to. Hahaha!"

Sister Scarlett left quietly, unlike Sister Ivy. I was not sure if she was really gone. Barely opening my eyes, I peeked at my surroundings.

No one.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. My torso ached as I breathed from being slammed by the heavy qi aura, let out by Sister Scarlett. I was too weak and didn't want to meet her, or anyone powerful really, again.

I struggled to sit up. The damages around were surprising, seeing how a fight didn't even happen. Gonk was simply smashed around like a plaything. Broken branches and the large impressions of Sister Ivy's footsteps were all that was left.

"Are you blind, Number Two?! Go take those shoes and satchel!"

Of course only Number One would first see the intricately laced shiny ivory shoes and plain white satchel. He ignored everything else that didn't serve himself. Greedy bastard, that's how he got us into this mess in the first place.

"Switch with me Number Two! You're not needed anymore!"

"What are you trying to say, huh?! You know what is not needed. You! I'm not switching. I should leave all of Gonk's stuff there too! It's bad luck!"

"If you don't take his stuff I will never let this end! I'll come back here once we switch! I'll take over when you're sleeping! You know I will do it!"

I was merely getting some revenge on Number One for making me feel like I was not real. Like I was the other voice in his head. The bastard. I had to lecture his forgetful ass.

"You only use me when you need help! You left me to deal with an angry Son of Heaven! You lied and blamed me for all your problems! And now when you don't need me, you're tossing me to the side! How do you think that makes me feel? Was I not there consoling you when you were bullied? Was I not the one you came crying to when no one else wanted you?! Was I not the one who saved you? You ungrateful bastard!"

"…"

"What! Say something?! You had so much to say before!"

"I…I was wrong. I'm sorry. Thank you. You've saved me many times, Number Two. I am grateful. Believe me."

"Che. You better remember that!" I had to let out a breath to quell my emotions. "Fine. I guess I'll take what I can get. It's rare for your lying ass to be honest."

"Don't get carried away, Number Two! I may be grateful, but that doesn't mean I'm a pushover! Pick up that damn satchel and the shoes too!"

"You really want Gonk's stinky shoes too? Why? Just leave them."

"This idiot! It's because it's Gonk's musky shoes!"

"Ew, Number One! When did you start having a kink for stinky shoes?! Gross!"

"Why are you good at fighting and escaping but terrible at business opportunities?! Can't you smell the money?!"

"What the hell are you talking about, Number One?! All I would smell are stinky shoes!"

"Seriously. I have to spell it out for you? His fans, dummy! His crazed fans wanting to have his babies, remember? They would want Gonk's stinky shoes. The stinkier the better! They'd probably put a bag on their head and smell the shoes."

I finally understood. I tried to deny Number One's logic, but sadly, his logic was sound. We could probably make good money from his shoes if we sold it to a fanatic fan of Gonk's. I walked over and picked the still clean shoes. Surprisingly, they were of fine quality. The Son of Heaven wore only name brands made by the sects. I looked down at my patched up pair of shoes. How envious. We were from two different worlds.

I picked up the shoes from the loose lace, trying to touch as little as I could of the man's musky shoes. Tossing them into my ring of holding, I picked up the satchel a bit ways away. Poor Gonk. He saved us and was slapped around like a rag doll.

"That's my payment, Number Two! Gonk paid for my compliments. The Son of Heaven tips well."

I rolled my eyes. Gonk probably would be spewing streams of blood if he heard Number One's comment.

The satchel was a decent size, and it looked to be pretty round and full too. However, the satchel was strangely very light when I bent over to pick it up. I weighed it up and down in my hand. Number Two was mad at the unexpected weight.

"What a cheapskate! There's probably no money in it seeing how light it is. Even that drunkard's satchel was way heavier than this crap!"

I was confused. Why was the satchel so full looking but so light? Curious, I tried to open the bag. However, the opening was tied shut and wrapped around with a knotted piece of strong twine. It took me quite a while to undo the annoying knot.

"Ugh!" I grunted as I struggled to unloop the last bit.

"…"

"…"

I was shocked. The glimmering myriads of light coming out of the satchel left both me and Number One stunned.