Chapter 1: Dusty letters filled with cobwebs

1.] Èkó kó ní bàjé

Lagos, a place where steady traffic /holdup isn't cost by too much population, but our impatience of getting to wherever we will still get to.

2.] Accepted Pride. 

It's probably normal for unconcerned dummies to hate you for choosing to carry yourself at a high esteem; the only side effect here, is if you foolishly choose to worry about their dark perception.

I've overgrown the level of purposely getting aware of one's attitude and perception about me. In reality our beliefs, personalities, and way of life are closely linked to the upbringing /access of wealth in each family setup, plus series of utility habits built over time. So! Just because the politicians in a certain country are wicked to the masses, shouldn't give one the right to hate and attack their kids, "children that never chose the family to be born into".

The first time my favourite uncle took me to see my cousin wasn't that fresh. No rude fault from my cousin end, in-fact the opposite behaviour was the case. However, I felt sorry for myself and at how poverty had tampered with da boy'z heritage and class. Deep down I knew my standard needed repair. At first, seeing everyone communicating with each other fluently in either queens English, or quality "Ibibio" (especially Mr. Edikan aka. Edieoz), felt like everyone was in a "forming-Party" (In Pretence). Unfortunately for me their body language, actions, and boldness didn't add up to the Pretence logic. After all! It was an "away match", and they had no reason to fake behaviour in their own Fathers house.

I learnt a weird dumb lesson that day; that as far as you know the kind of person you are, feeling concern about someone's thought is a stress to your peace of mind. Let them get lost in selfish hatred, and give time the opportunity to review your sincere colour to them.

Fast-forward up to a year later: "Junero" became part of the family. Then they made me realise how bad my situation was, directly or indirectly. The new challenge was struggling to blend in a society I was originally meant to be, except that I found myself in the apocalyptic side of nature (Igando).

Quick gist

One faithful morning Edieoz and I went for shopping; Niggi bought these So-called expensive digestive biscuits. Although! It was normal for him, @ my own mental end, such move was freaking Premium. In my previous hood, the idea of going to the mall sounded strange. (In an entire city not a single soul talks about it.) And for whatsoever reason you choose to visit the mall, spending money lavishly on cookies doesn't sound normal. 

After arranging the dumb financial morals in my head, I finally had the boldness to speak; "Mr. Man, why spend so much on ordinary biscuits when you could use the same amount of currency to purchase a carton of Coaster biscuit?(a locally/substandard made cookies)."

  To cut the story short; Edieoz so laughed me, that till date whenever we hang out and such memory is brought to the table, I still suffer the effect of thy previous fuckup.

3.] Story whiners

Most time people narrate their life story to someone as if it's a suggestion or another person's life. Being in isolation is boring and during a gist or communication, one can't keep creating stories from tin air if not a true experience. The point is! Most stories people talk about are actually their own story. 

4.] Weed: 99.9 Fm

One of the greatest inventions ever made was radio. Do u know how smart the human mind needs to be, discovering and manipulating a way to bend air? As far as 90% of Africans are concern! It's practically an alternative form of witchcraft.

These white dudes found a way to dominate air, and control it waves to produce sounds @ a certain frequency modulation. (divert) They even found a tactics to condition air with physical metal, and retain the communication irrespective of one's dry village; I mean the invention named telephone. (Joke fact: do you know, the dude who invented telephone, his wife's name was called "Hello") The curiosity and urge for knowledge, is one of the few ways the human mind can be open for unlimited inspiration and idea.

(Hope you're not disappointed with our Radio station; told you guys the book has illusion Pranks.)

5.] Thought Puzzle

Let's play a game of personal opinion.

We'll be solving a short sentence with key words in Blank space. Symbol; ("---Dash---")

  The idea is to fill the gap with your own thoughts. So puzzle with ur mind while guessing the best possible word for any empty space (dash).

E.g. I don't want any "---Dash---" (trouble, Palaver, stress, disturbance, etc...)

Puzzle Theme: Bad energy/depression

Ready?

"@some point in adulthood, everyone "---Dash---" agree to "---Dash---" falling into some kind of "---Dash---".

Most times the problem isn't your "---Dash---" per'se. So give yourself a break and accept the fact that you are also a "---Dash---".

Yours faithfully

Mr. Author 

I would be the happiest dude onboard, if you guys can form /compose yours in the comments section, and let's puzzle in Cruise.

6.] Mufasa's step-Moms

Once upon a time, their exist few sets of dark Angels, who thought they were expressing their naive control over the captured kings cop; displaying inhuman action, dark reality, and despicable torture on such kid, "so the Angels perceived in their mind; A one-sided accomplishment and victory".

Little did they know the dude was rapidly getting evolved, merging energies of d male species, and mind power of the female gender; to not just know, but understand reasons why both worlds exist, and how to adapt to any universe at the speed of Reasoning.

Every moment was a non-verbal target, clothed with real-life tension caused by extreme fear. No rooms for mistake! Not even polluting the Air (Mess / Fart) by mistake! That could give you a very bad day with painful skin marks caused by unaware whips.

You can't forget anything; else you would receive nothing less than 5 heavy knock in your 7-year-old skull, precisely targeted at the same spot. Nor can you remember anything that portrays self-joy. Being serious always, became the slogan because one could get beating-up for just laughing.

Watching, touching, or eating anything in the house could cause you misery. I know of someone who almost lost an Eye for taking something as little as "A Tie" of Sugar to drink garri (Cassava flake/ granules) instead of using salt, After all! Only real Humans are worthy enough to use Sugar. 

No time for slow motion, else! 6 stroke of "bitter-cane" will be implemented to speed up your sluggishness. To sum it up, mainly in this useless part of the planet, all this experimented level of inhumane display is perceived as training, using bible quote to justify their wickedness. (Proverbs 23:13 or 13:24)

7.] More than Gold…

A bunch of good characters are like currency or utility-tokens. The more you amass, the higher your freedom of life purchase advances.

One of the best ways to copycat a good attitude till it dissolve as part of one's lifestyle, is to steal it from an individual who does it better.

Upgrading yourself is easy keep hunting for more bags of good personalities over time.

Take for instance! I have a Friend who is always contented. More like his biological hormones lacks the emotions called greediness; (except when it comes to eating animal e.g. "Any fried /sauced protein like beef, turkey, chicken etc." forgive me bro!)But for real; even though nobody is perfect, he doesn't fix eyes on other people's things especially when he has his own.

Case study: I met "baddo" and say, "hey! Bro I'm heading to "Supersaver Mall" to buy some stuff for launch, should I get something for you?" He tells you no! Cause probably he prepared something nice to eat or just finished eating, a legit level of Honesty.

My cousin on the other hand can share love between 10 Babies@ the same time, and I mean each one receiving the same portion of love. How he does it is totally spiritual and not off his doing I guess. (Pidgin: Senior bros! na Joke o!)

Over time we discovered that, his default character portrays strong concern for the well-being of others. A DNA signature given to him by the cells of his mom (My Aunt: may her sweet soul rest in peace). However! It's so unfortunate that as a bad guy, he unknowingly applies such skill in catching the prettiest Shenkes.

Background: one of the best places to "fap" good characters is from your parent and guidance. (Good ones though!) Truth is! These are the first and superior attributes you've known over time. Pick the good attitudes from your dad, mom, uncles etc… before coming to the outside world.

My Uncle (DR. Thompson Richard Akpabio a.k.a. Richie Rich) can go the extra to find that money for your school fees, even @ a red account. Highest! He prefers borrowing it from someone. I think they're only 2 uncles left in Nigeria that can be that caring, "Uncle Richie Rich" & thy upcoming-Artist "Uncle Junior".

As for My Mum; I don't care how stupid and stubborn you are, or how angry she is, Mama won't for any reason starve thee of thy daily bread. Also mama so strict, friends aren't her thing (mainly to avoid nonsense back biting). If she can't say something in ur front, be rest assured that you won't hear shit @ ur back.

Saving the best for last (My Official Daddyo); OG boss pursues peace like it's a currency, he knows how to bring himself humble that a kid could express his or her emotions to him. Big Daddy has d power 2 dissolve high tension anger, & turns it to cold "pure-water". Like! 2minute ago, "P-Man" could be so angry with whoever stressed him out, and for no reason will u know he was angry. Everyone else seems to discuss with their dad as if nothing happened, and he replies them as usual like he wasn't pissed 3minute ago. OG's Diamond principle hinders him from transferring aggression to the wrong person (My personal Professor in Anger Management).

Over time, ur beliefs and personality will be built based on selected good life experience. Hey! Am not saying everyone doesn't have their bad character intact, but what will it cost a niggi to steal the good ones while cheating on the bad eggs from entering thy personal space.

8.] Highest Cultism

Educational system is the highest cult of all time. A universal brotherhood with groups and association of disciplined thinkers.

Thinkers who believe in the principle of nature, and how to not just study but smoothly use it to scale through life. A silent group, yet major stake holders in deciding the blueprint structure of every walk of life Eg Architecture, game, sport, finance, security, construction, art, law etc. The Educational system is mostly were these walks of life are born out from.

How can u even understand your passion when you have no clue, or should I say education about those skills of life?

Education is the granddaddy of modern advancement; Absorbing Updates in life is processed by following principles that strictly guides you while executing life's quest, and understanding of human existence. 

Even religion is organised by people who have studied, or should I say educate themselves in certain beliefs. Beliefs carefully planned to make sure it forms the basic foundation for whatever religion on site.

Let's not even divert to issues like dark, white, or whatever colour of magic there is….

Okay let's divert small! 

Fictionally: The superiors of them all are the individuals who have taken their time to educate themselves in such practice. For instance; scarlet baby was so knowledgeable that she discovered a book (take note! "Book"; a symbol of education) which would give her unlimited travelling ticket, mainly for penetrating the entire spiritual and physical multiverse. 

@ The other end, a fellow human who happens to be the only strange native doctor on ground, had to be the Marvel Savior capable of stopping such chaos from happening.

Take for Instance! When Queen Villain be trapped in a mirror reflection spell; the only way out was to quickly educate herself of this new unknown, After-all! She had knowledge of the entire dark spiritual secret @ her fingertips. (Continuation: Chap 5; Sub 4)

The point is! In any aspect of life, Education is the Daddy of them all. "By the way! This weird narration @ dedicated to the block buster Movie (doctor strange)."

(Special colours are not up to 10 yet, so no need to count! ) 

9.] Mr. Dictionary

Playing with the Roman figure! ( 4 9ja consumption mostly)

i. When a baby says I hate you, it means; "I love you 2much that I hate it".

ii. Werey= people who are always crazy when necessary, But sometimes necessary to themselves.

iii. Werey dey Disguise=the chameleon brother of the previous explanation.

iv. Cut soap= someone who's eager to bath with the soap that makes one sparkle financially E.g. "Pidgin; Baddo! This ur Benz fresh o! Abeg Cut soap 4 ur boy".

v. E choke= Solid funds in excess. Synonyms="E Restrict Airflow"

vi. Who dey breeett= a rhetoric question hailing whose on top. Antonyms: "who form you?" meaning Mr. Nobody. (Ref: OBO baddest!)

vii. When someone says Come and Eat It means; For the sake of self-righteousness, behave like who is matured and say no, Thanks.

viii. Efe = ur own style of "Tushness"

ix. Tush = Pidgin: "When person pikin fresh anyhow!"

x. Japa= picking up your "2 left leg slippers" and takeoff without turning back.

xi. Ma Fo meaning=fear not! Thy friendly neighborhood superhero is onboard.

xii. When Barney Shenkes goes silent= It means she has taken the nagging you keep complaining about to another destination.

xiii. Woto woto= Receiving whatever thing you weren't supposed to receive from left, right and centre.

xiv. Eye way see they chop= "once I discover skeleton in your cupboard, settle me!"

xv. Wahala dey like bicycle= what caused of the problem doesn't really have value.

xvi. Sapa=when the gods of poverty and frustration takes you personal.

xvii. Whining= when someone is giving you fake "Zobo" (deception) to drink.(white-Lie)

xviii. Douchebag= when someone describes you as the entire Lagos Dustbin.

xix. Eshin = A Nigerian slang describing someone who is "tight" E.g. Pidgin;"till 2moro, Micheal Jackson/ Steve jobs still be Eshins! Synonyms: Inwin, you are mouthed, Daddy! I too Sabi, you alone are bad guys! "idan"...

xx. Clear road= Creating space for Senior Men/Women with standard "doings"

xxi. Doings=officially displaying whatever stuff you have to brag about.

xxii. Tear Rubber= Anything that lack the symptoms of "2nd-hand" or "Aba-made".

xxiii. Apkor =A chronic hatred between 2 plp not caused by the immediate action people are seeing, but a deep demonic hatred unknown to the public. Eg : "Brother! If u're in-between an argument of 2 fellows coordinating "Apkor", the best you can do is "Ghost on silence", pidgin: ee get why.(More-light: chap 7 ; Sub 103)

xxiv. Stingy men geng= pidgin: The "un-solid" who refuses any skenkes to Run Dem street.

xxv. Flenjo = Meaning flexing life to nonsense! Or being entitled for enjoyment overdose.

xxvi. We outside= pidgin: "Flexing choke."

xxvii. 4giv= "just Free the idiot, he knoweth not his Sins"

xxviii. Mad o= when you shock someone's spirit with whatever "lamba" on ground. More like a 9ja slang version of the surprise word "Wow!"

xxix. "Follow come"=the original companion of whatever stuff you bought. E.g. Pidgin; "Boys don 'Fap' my follow come charger!"

xxx. Changing of hands= Savage correction; based on either love or hatred.

xxxi. Ogbeni = As far as his concerned, the word innocently means A gentle Man, Mr. Man, or My Friend. Ibibio: Afo mme Abasi ikpong ediongo "Nonsense" se akere! (Hint: Description Page) English address: Chap 6; raw thinkers

xxxii. Yahoo= A current ideology from the vintage synonyms called "419". Google the meaning of 419 please, don't stress me!

xxxiii. Lamba=Steady but unaware Punchline/ punch-art.( Eg. Our Art Preview)

xxxiv. Ghost Crush = Someone who likes you to stupendous, but doesn't wants or delays you from knowing who dey are.

xxxv. Okpoism= It's a slang fabricated word, used to pin-point people in the Ashawo enterprise.

xxxvi. Babana= Most Senior Man of them all; aka. OGs!

xxxvii. We Meuuve= Even if you fall 5k time, freaking bounce up, Kick start your moral, & take off.

xxxviii. Gbam!= hitting the nail directly in the head.

xxxix. "Hungrying"= A Nigerian wrong English which has now become a slang supporting the present continuous tense of the word hungry. (example: chap 9, sub 9, "Green light vs. purple light": point-4)

xl. Med! = The Pro-Max version of "Mad o!"

xli. "Madin"= A playful way of telling someone he/she is partially Mad e.g. when you tap current and she says "U are Madin", while trying to slap you with a hand that looks like her wrist is made of Biscuit bone. Also in a normal deformed view; "Madin" could mean an aware psycho, whose madness is still in present tense. So this time around, we dash you a "werey" who refuse to "disguise". (Waec vibes)

xlii. Biscuits-bone= A standard Nigeria pronunciation of the word "Brisket bone".

xliii. Speckvino= A Book nickname coined out from 2 words "Speerk" & "Zinoleesky". 

xliv. Speerk = a purple rare gem discovered in the blockbuster movie titled "Jeyosiz" (Address: Art Gallery; Art 4, Underworld.)

xlv. Inside life= people's personal skeletons smartly arranged in their wardrobe.

xlvi. "You are mouthed!" =It's a 9ja informal phrase for Hailing an OG.

xlvii. Shege = Experiencing the spiritual discomfort of the fruit called Pepper.

xlviii. Pieces= When you totally finish work! (Hint: Art gallery, our 2nd Art 18)As in, to share the total grace in artistic/aesthetic fellowship.

xlix. Pentanium= is a rare precious mental and natural power bank capable of storing vibration and energy. It can store enough energy to power a high tech city for 50-years.

l. Shishi= It means (pidgin-Slangs); "As per base on ur account balance, notin cum Out!" Related sounds shingbine, shingbana, shikolokokpine. (Who dey whine! )

li. Adage meaning= Action speaks louder than voice. Punch meaning = seeing what she said. "Note! Seeing not hearing".

lii. Crack= The Art of freezing someone with whatever kind of lamba displayed. 2) Piercing through an obstacle that looked like a glorified mission impossible.

liii. OG= A Senior Man or woman in the game .

10.] Dark desire

I wish he could break the internet, Amazon algorithm, and cyber space with 1 block-buster---Dash---. Last time I check, one is solely entitled to fantasies/thinking big @ the same time. Imagine the owner of Amazon calling him out 4 a handshake, for breaking new sales traffic; Digital "Go-slow" of people wanting to read & engage with his pamphlet. Da-baby's personal dark desire, so don't judge.

11.] Wait!

This subtitle was an explanation to "UD" a.k.a "sklink". Baby wanted knowing why I kept pinging 4 hours. So read with a leisure mind.

Bro?

Yap!

How do you keep writing For Hours?

It's easy!

How?

Okay! Say anything

Hmmm! ….wait…

Wait it is! Let talk about the word "wait" ("sklink b loosing focus")

Madam are you ready?

Yes Sir!

⬇️

Procrastination has always being a virus affecting plp, but for the purpose of educating ourselves, we are going to use relationship as a case study.

If you're catching feelings for a Shenkes, approach her and stop being a scared little boy. The more you wait, the better chance Mr. Soji (Random Name) has to steal your future baby. It's a simple matter; by natural design these birds are suppose to attract you with their physical beauty.

"According to Cambridge dictionary"

(c2) [u]

Attraction means the feeling of liking someone, most times sexually, because of the way they look and behave:"

Link: ⬇️ https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/attraction 

So u can't blame a lady for not coming towards you that's your job. U need to do the "toasting" and follow-up, they need to feel loved by ur actions and not the reverse.

U can't expect these girls to wait for you till forever and whenever you're ready to have liver (courage). you are faced with competition from other smart dudes who knows what's on ground, and 4 d record! Ladies can spot a nigga who isn't confused but knows exactly what he wants.

More like law of supply and demand, the higher the demand of guys chasing her, the lower the supply of her attention.

You need to be precise when heading towards thy crush, and focus on the coded target.

Morals: the idea of waiting for your scared feeling to be ready b4 u start ur own romantic movie; is like waiting for your phone to go charge itself when you know "Nepa" ( electricity ) has never been reliable.

Wow! It looks Easy.

12.] Nintendo Gameboy

Boys get tired and start acting weird towards u (so you think!). The normal distance period ladies feel guys are fond of portraying, mostly when they think they've seen everything there is… (Pidgin: "See finish")

Most guys don't have the mental maturity to handle the tiniest of commitment. It's a different thing for girls; you people see commitment as another fairy tale adventures, and new phase of experience. For us it's the fear of entering the new unknown.

Crazy thing about this type of fear is; once the unknown becomes known, he quickly realise what he's about to lose and humbly comes back to see if there's still an opening in your heart. The same pussy "Bomboy" thought he was tired of, becoming an addictive space he seeks refuge.

To all the beautiful ladies out there! "4giv us for not having a stable mind, and biologically we can't." Except for one solution; pull out our 2 sinful eyes, that way we can't see any atrocity to trigger the hormones. Just kidding man!

Oh sorry! I watched a foreign movie ("I'm still in Nigeria as @ the time this paragraph was written") were a blind musician got married to a beautiful wife, and still hard multiple affairs with women more beautiful and sophisticated than his wife. To make matters worse, he even had kids outside marriage. so the blind theory is cancelled.( "I think, the main character for that movie was Jimi-fox".)

13.] Savage Motherhood

Some boys in Men's clothing will claim they can't trust any woman who's not their Mum.

So what happens to those of us that don't have moms anymore, or didn't have the opportunity to experience one? E.g. death during childbirth, abandoned at birth (Moses) etc.

How do you expect to raise such individual's trust-rate?

9ja Slang: "Oga principle b calmin down!" And let your mind be free, so as not to blindly do the wrong thing all so-called ego. Except your stupid plan, is to end up punishing that innocent future wife for a sin she never committed. Once again, please receive Sense! 

14.] The young must grow

Treating a kid bad is very dangerous. Yes! @ That point he is aware of being in physical hell, but doesn't really understand why. Finally! Emeka ages to adulthood, and now fully understands the intensity of his previous pain.

Reality sets in; grownup boss realises he was even suffering for what he had no hand in. He also codes the fact that though! Adulthood is hard; everyone had the total freedom of choice, actions, and attitude. You can imagine such persons thought, of knowing you chose to purposely treat him bad, because you had the power to make him experience Hell on Earth…

15.] Animation; an underrated invention

You have no idea the blood and sweat that get wasted just to produce a 2hrs animated movie. Forces of creativity unleashed, to manipulate stagnant images to behave like they are living being. The amount of mental energy, physical resources, financial resources, human resources, computer energy, and train voice actors enforced, just to trick your illusion to see such work as a form of entertainment. If u really know what it take, appreciating strange works of art will be your top priority.

16.] Baby feeding Bottle

(In this context "Baby" means the same as saying "my guys" except this time, the slang is allocated to the female gender.)

If u keep asking how many babies he has, you're asking the wrong question.

The right questions are what's the reason you keep accumulating babies? (For the purpose of peace, that question was solely a joke) 

The secret is easy! Genuinely unlock their trust. There you have the Greatest weapon of all; access to real time accurate information of your well-being.

But first! Let's talk about trust.

Case Study: Miss Itoro is under pressure to execute a task. Struggles to handle task but can't complain, because of the over hyped application letter that states; "I can work under pressure".

The moment of "I can work under pressure arrives" and she can't keep lifting heavy cartons of chocolate bar. To make matters better, 42 cartons are happily stretching their hand to be carried.

Finally a baby is exhausted, and can't complain else she won't get paid. Other Superior keeps ordering her to be fast about the job, but then! You arrive with an "angry-bird face" which makes her even more scared, only 4 her to hear u say " please go and relax before u faint", then you calls 3 vibrant male colleagues arguing about last night football- match to come help her out. 

Once such Agape love have being spiritually settle, consider a baby having your back any time, any day!

17.] Sexy Backbiting

Two lovely co-workers purposely discussed about him as if he wasn't there, even if they knew Mr. Franklin could hear them.

Nollywood Drama begins.

Main actress: "So he's a nice guy & very caring, but if he tries to help and you take it for granted, he will fall back."

Sub actress: "hmm! But he hasn't helped us so far".

Main actress: "emm! (She waits 6-seconds) This is the thing! I forgot to start with first': he needs you to pet him, he loves soft petting but pretends not to have remorse, such a big-baby!"

Before we end this sexy soft backbiting, try combining the personality of someone who's a sugar boy, rugged boy, baby boy, smooth talker, and a ladies' man. That's how you discover a high-class devourer of lifestyle taste. (Although side effect = "liable to die young.")

18.] Single parent @ casted!

On a Normz! It's only natural to assume Parents who choose to divorce, always struggle for who will keep the kids. Yes! "No doubt love is involved", but for a deeper reason, everyone will get old someday. Only your kids will be there to really keep you company, aside the fake-world who will surely ignore your old existence for current important stuffs.

At least! In your old age no one will want to play dumb pranks on you, even if they know one slap from their youthful left-hand could break your old-neck. Because guess what? His /her grown up kids will come for you with every resource they have.

4 the monetary value aspect: Ur maintenance and passive income allowance would be guaranteed, even though deep down your sorry ass knows, if they choose not to give you "1kobo", u "won't do shit".

19.] Magic Beans recipe

Note: cooking instrument; Gas cooker

The format is pretty simple:

(1) Select your beans (to avoid stone).

(2) Boil for 5 to 10 minutes.

(3) Sieve old water out, and then add new but moderate water. Note; "please try applying sense when adding fresh water, after all! You alone know the Gram {measurement} of raw beans used.

(4) Add onions immediately; to avoid eating a crunchy one later in the future.

(5) Apply smoked/dried fish immediately; 4 overall beans taste later in that same future.

(6) Allow it to cook for 15 to 29 minutes: however, timing is fairly subjective, base on the type of gas cooker on ground.

(7) If the aim is portage beans; this is ur last chance to add yam, potatoes or plantain, "your choice"…

(8) All I know is; even if your beans should be in good Shape, it shouldn't give that feeling of hardness when you use your spoon to feel the softening process. Else, wait a little longer.

(9) Once "our" beans are soft enough; add all the ingredients you choose to explore E.g. crayfish, pepper, seasoning, salt etc…

4 the chefs with "Overdoing's"

(10) Add things like Farrow peas, sweet corn, and hot dog/chicken franks etc. For the hot dog, kindly chop in tiny pieces to make it scanty while the taste should come ones in a "blue spoon".

(11) You can even gamble with a tiny "spoon" of "unknown stew sauce", with sprinkles of curry, thyme, and nutmeg, "Gamble I said!".For the Nutmeg: if you ever think of using it, add very little but at the same time you added that "our onion". (Note: These are just extras, not really necessary.)

(12) Include few spoons of "palm oil". The Gage depends on few things: kg of beans applied, God, & ones confused mind.

(13) Finally! The Omega secret ingredient: is "vegetable oil (aka. Yellow oil)", just add a quarter of whatever palm oil spoon you previously added, Stir maturely like someone who knows how to cook", cover your pot, and allow the Gas cooker do what it does best.

(14) Timing: wash the bowl, plates, and spoons you used while preparing your beans. Clean up the tables from whatever dirt scattered around ("no room for laziness"). Once you're done cleaning, stir beans for the last time and switch off your stressed cylinder. Then! "Go relate with your shower" and come live happily ever after.

BONUS; for Afro- Soap/stew matters: make sure you sauce your choice of proteins to "stupendous"; like to the point where the beef can start begging for mercy, and the rest should be history.

20.] Ali goes to school

Background Music: Steven Adeoye - Ali

Informal biography

Crazy how a name bared by our northern brothers became so popular, that it's claimed the title and subject matter of a hit song called "Ali". In the song our experience musician broke down his experience encountering one of the ambition/passionate/success driven breed of Northern boss called Ali.

Thought puzzle

More like from origin, these special breed of individuals chooses not to be restricted by Islamic principles, with"---Dash---" rigidity that hinders them against western "---Dash---" and "---Dash---". So they decided to say; "You know what! Fuck it, I'm gonna break free!"

From my own encounter with one of the "Ali's". Dude is freaking civilised, inner eyes so open to the light that he sees the endless possibilities while observing the world, and every freaking wonders it has to offer.

Okay! How frequent do you see an Ali playing Rihanna song during personal inspiration time? Come on! As if that's not enough, you see boss mimicking the song word to word.

Fashion-wise: Ali so creative his fashion taste is strictly on foreign vibes, yet still looks like a bad ass Nigerian.

Dude isn't scared of understanding complex maths format, used for professional sale invoice. As far as baddo is concern, anything another man with a single head can do! He can do as well. How many Ali's do you know are able to calculate the kilogram and gram of every ingredient used in producing varieties of pastry products?

When it comes to producing the actual product, Ali has successfully adapted and learns every skill around him.

All he needs to do is see you do it and "boom!" The learning process begins. As if his mind became obsessed with the adage that says, "Practice makes perfect".

Rugged divert…

Social blast: This dude has learnt the act of communicating/flirting with high class shenkes (ladies), all he needed was to see how soft nigga run the toasting girls' game. Then pick different punch-line/actions, which he then uses to build up his own "controls". As of the time this paragraph was written, Ali is the current prince charming "@ work environment". (Every "Muslim-baby" in his age demography is openly crushing.) 

Plot

Story begins as Ali determines to land on Lagos soil; learns plumbing from the first person he sighted with skills, and started making money with the new skill, "easy Pizzi". He quickly realised that in this section of 9JA, one skill can't really feed your needs not to talk of wants.

Gracefully! As "Allah will have it", he gets a gig to partake in the construction of a new shopping mall. From there! Hard work stood him out in the sight of managers assign to supervise the construction. Smartly, Ali smells an opportunity after listening to rumours about the new bakery department to be added to the construction project, chips in the question of working as a bakery/ pastry assistant to one of the managers.

And "boom!" Ali became one of the employees in a high-class baking facility; the ones that deal with automated machines and standard equipment. Dude lands himself in a paradise of skills learning and consumption.

In no time "Star-boy" becomes the official pastry chef producing "US-standard" kind of snacks and cookies.

When I mean Ali is foreign, let me make it clear with a live action example.

The only time I see crazy food illustrations, is when I watch Food network on DStv! But I step inside the bakery, and Mr. Ali is conducting a live feed to his fans, showing them how he produces his amazing pastries. From "freshroll" & "chicken burger", to sardine and coconut bread, then ends the story-line with a video showing the digital time range a Vanilla cake is supposed to be ready. This is event you only see in "US high-school movies", not even Nollywood as an entity.

However! For a so-called perfectionist like me, what really gave star-boy an entitled slut in claiming one of my subtitles, is his mental state and open mind. Your inner eyes can only be open when you see pass your ignorance, and accept the fact that you need to stay humble during a learning process.

Just like how the owners of Google that the best way to get people really involve, is by opening up their secret code to the world. That way! There will be no need to steal what has already been giving to you for free. The only option left, would be for you to upgrade, and advance the use of the code for your own selfish free use.(indirect-democracy)

Ali is a Muslim right! And in his religion, keeping bears is highly important. But for a standard; shaving it off was made mandatory as directed by "SON". So, my Mentor in precision (Mama "T"), decides that the rules must be maintain with zero Lapses. Ali is faced with the choice of breaking his religious rules 4 such declarative orders, or maintains his standard. To worsen it up, our "superhero" had Less than 30-minute time interval to decide either to resign, or obey the last order!

You can literally see his conscience fighting with the demons dancing & struggling to get emotional. (Trust me! In his mind! Dude was pushed against the concrete wall.)

In all, even when other minds were busy either encouraging the display of Ali's demons, or trying to calm the entitled demons! He was still able to separate emotion from logic and decided: "okay! it just bears!, I have them in forever abundant, So for 2day let me compromise, and not let a minor Emotional pain distort my future plan".

  In less than 15-minute Ali is back with newly emptied jaw. Nigga earned my respect for best employee to murder the quote, "I can work under pressure". Although! i was kind of jealous, because the petting Ali received from babies telling him to calm down was massive.

Thought puzzle invoked

Ali received a special kind of care he never received since he was "born": from, "Ali sorry now! Will you drink '---Dash---'?" to, "Ali our baby boy, don't worry your '---Dash---' will grow again you hear!'", "Ali Look at me na… okay! Will you eat ---Dash--- rice? Even down to "Oya! Relax your head '---Dash---' so that your brain will calm down".

And in all this, Mr. Author currently writing was lost in uncontrollable Laughter, after chilling with "---Dash---" from Canada that morning, the only option was to watch and enjoy the vibe.

21.] Open minded

As we've currently explained above! During our sections with "Ali's biography", When you have an open mind, @ some point during your intra-communication sessions, Mr. Brain gains the liberty to lavish you with the luxury of unlimited options, thoughts, suggestions, memories, and linking event, as related to the questions you are reasoning about.

Observing how easy you can remember almost every flash thought that seems lost, not knowing all were kept on "Dusty letters filled with cobwebs".

Ever wonder were authors keep seeing words to write for 3hours? Well! There's this thing call inspiration, I think that's what makes suggestions possible. How else do you want your inner man to help out, if you don't give "Mr. Mind" the chance to express its own suggestion to you? To gain a legit ticket, and gate pass into the realm of infinite creative, you need to "give in" …

With all I've Preached so far, assuming you still think it's impossible to follow this principle, then here is the Holy Grail quote you can't deny.

⬇️

"Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven".

Ref: @Jesus Christ of Igando…

Assuming you've never attended Sunday school classes as kids, then it's a pity. "But on a normz!" You don't need me explaining how kids really own the open-minded space. That's literally their territory.

22.] Interior design formula

(Check out our In-book interior parlour design: Address; Art gallery, 2nd Art 18)

Interior design is Subjective. You can't claim to have a formula that surpasses other people's designs, "a total fool's game to think like that "else! Lego shouldn't have a say in the creative world.

In-fact! For those with sound creative minds, interior design has gone beyond lavishing expensive toys to make the room feel luxurious. To these breeds of design gods, anything can be manipulated to a luxury format, Irrespective of the structure which include; texture & environment, light effect, utility format, aesthetic feel etc. After all, it's all about your upgrade in the illusion game.

Anyone can create their own Interior design, which should be universally accepted. With that being said, I would love to introduce my own pattern of design and Formula to thy prestigious creative community.

My design structure is simple.

(Vintage + contemporary+ futuristic)

Breaking this formula down entails 3 sections; For the sake of layman-English, precious stones will be used to represent!

Gold =Vintage

Silver = Contemporary

Bronze = Futuristic

• According to the national cake sharing formula: Major interior designs like the walls and ceiling, can take the vintage share.

• Floors and key utility furniture's: e.g. Bed, chair, cupboard, electronics, shelves etc… can be given a contemporary design.

• While the aesthetic but scanty furniture & colour display like flower-verse, centre table, lighting etc. can have a futuristic feel.

Better still; switch the entire medal rank structure by making the base design highly futuristic, middle design contemporary, while furniture & counter designs takes the vintage slot.

Be flexible in your design adventure, you can choose to informally spread each medal in equal / scattered fragments.

Also, choosing to add so many complexities in the three ranks of design won't look that fresh, except ur target is to use texture & colours that create the illusion of emptiness. "I 4got to warn earlier; if you aren't a design freak, confusion is your case."

However! If your interior makeover doesn't have the element of these three-blueprints, then you've discovered another design which is clearly not mine.

Mine is an open-source format for open minded gods. The alphas capable of creating things that has never being created b4.

Probably! In the future if the need arises, I can give a breakdown of the full design in a different book title. We can then discuss more, on how to combine the design with life hacks like: Age demographics, style of livings, fashion sense, personality, class, luxury, religious-textual feel, hobbies, and passion all in your interior makeover. But till then, flex! 

Quick secrete: this design style was inspired by two animated movies; "Mr. Incredible Two" & a tip of "the Adams family 2".

23.] Doggy style

Sometimes! I envy animals and their "I don't care attitude "when displaying feelings, and emotions in a natural way. Let's use the family dog as case study.

"For the record her name is Miss Zowie"; "B4 Itoro eats me raw!"

Zowie is a creature that becomes aggressive when a stranger is sighted; displaying her Angry sharp teeth in alert, and solid focus for any sign of trespassing.

Funny enough! No matter how many times I come home for weekend, this dumb bitch never recognises me, or "pretends not to remember, who knows!"(And for the record: bitch is Zowie's natural name not an insult!)

However, when Zowie's mind is convinced enough that Mr./Mrs. stranger is becoming more than a visitor, she starts shaking her fluffy tail. A current sign you're becoming a familiar face. ("Family white fox" is a parlour dog anyway!) At this point, it doesn't matter d number of times you put your hands in her teeth, she won't for any reasons, "whatsoever", bite your fingers.

Imagine a high level of trust and love an animal can portray by unknowingly obeying their pure nature.

Comic superstition: Come to think of it; why does Zowie always bark when he sees me? What Is he really seeing!

24.] "Copy-Copy-Cat"

Tried explaining to my senior bro, (A Man who flows by the principles which state: "hierarchy" by "hierarchy"). That software's made to rewrite a sentence, or paragraph in another form, is just maths puzzle by a system "AI."

What's the point having a software, that can rewrite your articles in another way, all for the so-called sake of not being a direct copycat. And still end up spending mental time, focus, and energy trying to edit the jargon's produced by the algorithm?

Okay! Let's use tenses to make the picture clear.

Real quote: You don't "WANNA" see me HIGH! It's crazy.

AI written quote: You do not "WANNA" vision me HIGH! It is mental.

This is how far software's can help you handle your poor writing skills. It doesn't look too difficult to edit, until you start correcting a family of confused grammatical paragraphs, and segmented tenses, "Before you would agree that short-cut is the longest root so far!" Well! Only experienced bloggers and article writers would actually relate.

Picture this! if you use your head to rewrite the sentence or paragraph, it won't only look organic and real, but will also make your editing process / work easy to complete.

E.g.

Original quote: you don't "WANNA" see me "HIGH" It's crazy.

Organic rewrite: Blocking me on a "HIGH" mood isn't funny, trust me!

With the above happily explain! My real Intention was simply playing with a common pick-up line … ⬇️

Rewriting 1 dumb punch-line in different format;

Original pick up line: I love you

"Efe!"

• This girl is a very beautiful soul, and I love her.

• She's one of the prettiest birds I've seen, and I sincerely admire her.

• Love is crazy @ 1st sight; I can't believe her beauty hypnotised me into asking her out.

• She's a princess in the making; my only wish is to befriend her.

• Thou @ the fairest in all thy land, I only wish thine heart accepts my vows unto thee.

• Seeing beauty queens these days are scarce; I won't lose the only one my heart pounds for.

• Baby Vipers beauty is the only image my memory flashes, she needs to be with me else I could run crazy.

• He has never got lost in luv looking at the beauty of a rare female gender. So he said; "I need to approach her".

• She has a perfect soul, a rare germ I would love to protect with my heart.

• It's only wise being loyal to the one who cherish, & understands the meaning of whatever beat your heart produce.

• "A wise person one's said, 'follow your heart!' You don't expect me to allow you run away with it"

• To be continue...Probably!