CH 5: A Part Of Me Is Dead And In The Ground PT 2

My mind was gone.

The image of my sister's ghost standing by the side of the person who executed me.

Looking down at me with this sad look on her face.

I understood why she turned away.

It might have been the first time she had ever seen a person wanting to kill another.

Sera had always been sheltered and her illness took away any chance for her in having friends.

So when I saw her watching me.

I began to understand that she never really understood the terrors in this life.

I never allowed her to know about them.

The blood I tasted on my tongue signaled the end.

The pain. The cold. The silence. It numbed all senses.

"…"

Nothing escaped my throat, but a slight moan of discomfort.

All my sight was on my sister who was fading away.

There were times I could see us when we were young.

The day we first made a cake using cheap cake mix.

The day we both heard drunk aunties and uncles singing out of tune at a karaoke club.

That comfortable life that we shared together.

I wanted to know---

" Sera…"

If she thought fondly of our time together too.

I never had the chance to ask her.

If she was ever happy with the life we had together.

I was left to die because the American seemed a bit on edge when he saw that I didn't go out like he thought I would.

It scared him to see me breathing.

He was laughing, but his eyes were shaken by the idea that someone did not die by a loaded gun.

That's what bliss could do to someone.

It can drive you insane and make you feel an immediate sense of joy that was so addicting that you'd find happiness in being mad.

" You— monster!!" And then I saw him run.

The fool was so inexperienced he would think someone died just by shooting them in the chest.

I would die, just not as quickly. I would bleed out and suffer from pneumonia either one of the two will take my life.

I could not tell which.

My eyes burned staring at the direction he left as I felt my body fighting back the cold that invaded my knees numbing them and burning my nerves.

I stared at the blackened sky and saw moments of my life in the form of memories from when I was young.

The moments I could have changed.

The things I should have said.

Actions I would have chosen differently.

It was hard to think about the kind things of being alive when all I felt was numbness from seeing painful and exhausting memories.

I saw a phantom manifest from thinking on those thoughts, like in the dungeon, a small butterfly flexed out its wings and I saw A blackbird in the sky.

It flew in circles in that blackened sky.

I found peace in that creature even if gunfire roared in the woods.

It drowned out everything in sight.

I thought a lot about the things I've done.

Somehow— Somewhere— Some place.

I ended up at the bottom of the barrel again.

There would be no funeral directors who would take care of me and no one to visit me at the morgue.

I won't be surrounded by people who love me or would cry if I were dead.

This place was far from everything.

A burial site in a distant country.

No one would come here.

"…"

In this world.

You come and you go.

Left alone with just the maggots and ants who would make this flesh their home, I did not feel human, and life was blurring out of sight.

Dying seemed to be similar to addictive laughter.

' Sera doesn't have a lot of time left.'

It was just so twisted, but you just couldn't stop yourself from laughing.

[ Your body has been destroyed.]

I often remember the good moments of my life only in the moments I wouldn't make it, but what stayed longer than good memories was the kind I'd always wake up to.

[ You watched it die.]

[ You've gained experience.]

I rested against a tall tree watching the rain pour over something someone would only see in a horror scene.

My body laying dead far away from me.

Madness was corroding my mind ever since I woke up in that fucking dungeon.

Death sequences. Transfers. Hunters. Reality.

Life after death.

This was hell. Not the kind that people project on sinners.

Theirs sounded kinder than the one in front of me.

I couldn't quite know if I was living or dead.

The concept of life blurred ever since I took my first transfer and all moralities faded when I was shown that I could never fully die like I know I should.

I saw my sisters' ghost smiling at me.

' Al!'

The very same eyes that was always so happy to me when I came back home.

' So! How was work! Did you get a new girl friend huh-! Huh! What about that girl who worked at the burger station?'

' She's religious…'

' And? I heard that whenever she's there, the burgers are delicious!'

' God. You always think about food.'

' I don't really get it, but if she can take care of you then that's more than enough for me.'

' Remember Al! She has to take care of you!'

' But you're here…'

' Ugh… No- No! That's not good enough Al.'

' If you don't get a wife by the time I'm 23 then I did something wrong!'

' We're getting you a wife.'

' Today!'

' Yeah… but no.'

'—Better luck next time.'

' Gah!'

[ A memory has faded.]

" Hello."

I saw her fingers reach for my face.

I guided her hands as if she were caressing my cheeks, that small action made her smile, I didn't show her how I couldn't feel it.

[ It's okay... Al.]

[ Hold on for a little while.]

I saw how the system attempted to translate the silence between us, but I preferred not knowing it.

It was far better that she did not have a voice.

If I heard her go as far as to say something that would be the moment I would have lost it.

Although she was by my side.

I saw someone else from this reflection.

My sister.

The one who was buried in the yard in a different life.

" I love you."

She smiled.

—-Your time in this memory—-.

— has ended.

[]

I woke up in the most darkest place.

I stared to the holographic scene masquerading as god.

[ Do you wish to continue?]

[Yes] or [No]

It was always there before I transferred.

[Yes] and [No] -

The only agency you had here was how long it would take for you to choose an answer.

You had many choices, but it came with a cost.

[] Stare.

[] Wait.

[] Ponder.

[] Make your decision.

The longer you took to make a decision to go.

The faster your sense of sanity was diluted by the absence of senses because the darkness was numbing your sense of self.

The more you waited. The less you want to go.

I reached out for the option sane people would diver from choosing.

[ You're decision 'No' has been denied.]

Just to see what might happen.

[…]

No consequences. No prompt to divert you to choose the other option.

Only silence.

God faded when I pressed my hand against the fluorescent light that existed beside the one I had chosen.

[Yes]

I watched my senses slowly come into focus after the lights turned off.

In the dark, memories of my time in Siphon bloomed, because of the nights I had spent in places where light was an expense and a luxury.

I was used to not seeing anything.

It was the lost of smell and sound that placed me on edge a little.

Unable to remember what I had done the last day, work, do things that kept me up all night.

I did anything that was asked of me, anything that would lessen the stress of the others, but I wasn't alive.

Existing only came to me in times my body showed signs of giving up on me when I was alone.

You lived, but then you must die.

You live and you must die.

Those words haunted me more than the cruelty I've seen, more than the barbaric desensitization of humanity I had found in the pen.

So when I finally understood how twisted it all was.

I made a decision. If I were to die again and somehow, some way I would wake up again.

Maybe this time I'd get it right.

I'd try for an education and run a food stand in a night market.

I'd work on speaking fluently in English and fix my vocabulary by imitating news reports and today's radio speakers.

That's only if it were a different life that did not reflect anything to do with what I had already seen in mine.

"…" But I know myself.

Even if I conjured grand illusions of places and dreams of realities I would have lived.

They would never last.

Just because you transferred somewhere else.

It doesn't mean that the horrors you faced vanished when you're dead.

The Al who gave up on life and a good future.

The Al who wanted to live a little more, but did not bear the consequences or endured to the end for that vision.

He still existed in me and he'd always be there whether I die or dream myself in another life.

In the end, what made me fall from grace was the decisions I made that led me to be a No Life.

It's too late to live a better life.

I'm already gone.

[ You have transferred.]

" Mr Baek!! Behind you!"

The air snapped and after the pressure exploded I reached for the warm sensation trickling down the side of my face.

A man was split right through the middle.

A stone sword anchored between his feet, cracks formed from the weight of the weapon that tore through him.

Unfortunately. He was still alive and I was a lot closer than I remembered.

Those blood-red eyes focused on me and then his eyes snapped to his brows.

[ You have witnessed a system execution.]

[ You have gained experience.]

He fell apart on two different sides of the floor.

I stared blindly at his remains even when I noticed the statue ripped its sword from his back.

I just stared.

Nothing had changed, but my feelings were different.

" Thank you for being a part of this world."

The statue that murdered him simply rested its back against the wall and waited.

I turned away from him and I walked away far from everyone who was spellbound by the callous display of cruelty they showed.

The image of the man slowly faded the longer I walked.

In contrast to the memory of it.

I reached out my hand and thought about the modification system.

"…"

~+~

[ Welcome To Solo Leveling]

[ This is your modification system]

[ BAL: -000 ]

[ Rank: E.]

I stopped when I noticed a young girl just sitting down with this empty lost look on her face, watching as others died.

I approached her and stared at the scene.

" Aren't you afraid?" I asked.

"…"

" If I were a good person. I'd say you shouldn't be here."

She kept on watching them.

"—-But If I were an honest man I would say."

" Do as you please."

" If it hasn't happened yet, there's no need to fear it."

I reached out and patted her shoulder as a sign of farewell for our small interaction that came from just a whim.

She looked up at me.

"…" There was a moment where I thought she would have said something, but she just turned away from me and remained where she was simply watching others die by the cruel lord.

I left her and walked away.

I heard a tiny laugh over my shoulder

" You're leaving me…?" It was the smallest voice I had ever heard or maybe it was fear that made her speak quietly.

I didn't like the feeling her eyes gave off or how it seemed as if she would go on to attack me.

It was just a familiar feeling I understood, but it wasn't like I was always good with people so I just accepted it.

Whatever happened will happen.

So I tried to understand where that feeling was coming from.

" If you wanted to. You could always use your sword to make up for me leaving you for dead."

I drew a line across the bottom of my chin and I marked my heart.

" It wouldn't satisfy you."

" You wouldn't even feel a thing."

She just looked at the sword sitting by her side and shut her eyes tiredly.

"…"

I walked away.

" If you make it through this…"

" A tongue wouldn't be enough."

Over my shoulder, I smiled sincerely at her warning.

" I prefer the option where you try to make me fall madly in love with you first, If it works out then maybe we could move on to a red wedding." I shrug my shoulders to show her how I wasn't considering it.

"…" The strange girl sighed and stood up on her feet.

Her sword reached her rib cage and she had a fit physique despite being someone who was very short and young.

There was a sigil of a hunters association attached to her side something similar to that of a lion.

" I will kill you."

" I hope you do. It would be far better to die young than by something without a heart."

I crossed my chest and waved goodbye.

" Take care and—-"

"—- May you perish wretchedly."

I didn't hear her response as the deafening sound of something crashed into the floor and took another life.

[ You have watched it die.]

[ You have gained experience.]

…

" 3 minutes." To find one statue that didn't hold onto a weapon.

There weren't that many statues, but I considered the chances of what if someone managed to find out the puzzle to the dungeon on their own.

It was best I took the one that was the furthest away and least likely to be chosen by the others.

I stood in front of a musician holding onto a harp.

The only thing that felt odd was that I had no vivid memory of reaching it.

Like in Siphon.

Often I would wake up in a blank state not knowing what I'd done.

"…"

" Your modification system is a series of ideas designed to create a simpler experience."

" Would you like to offer your soul for a once-in-a-lifetime gesture…"

[ A statue…]

" I know you're alive too…"

[ A statue…]

"…"

[ A statue.]

I sat beneath the statue classified as 'non-aggressive' and I avoided looking at the ones that held weapons.

Practicing my sacrificial personality as a devil was the only fun I could think off, because I was always on my own.

[ You watched it die.]

[ You have gained——]

" Be quiet."

The only experience I learned from it was the possibility of what would happen to me too.

The modification system had a bleak sense of humor for showing me things it thought as important for me to know about.

It wasn't like I could just turn it off.

"…"

There may be people being killed on the other side, but this must have been the first time I had relaxed without a care for anything.

It was just…

So good being here.

[ This statue will not hurt you.]

To rest underneath the heels of something created by a mass murderer and to know this life of mine won't last because of haunting suicidal temptations, instead of natural death sequences.

It just seemed normal at this point— for me to think so fondly that if I were to go and die on my own accord.

It wouldn't really matter at all.

I had a faint idea of how to live this life if I wanted to.

1) Survive the first dungeon—> 2) Then exit to a society where hunters fight against each other for no reason at all—> 3) Hunt dungeons to prove your value to people who won't even be there for you all your life—> Then go on to witness the end of the world—>4) To only have everything you ever known and invested time in, to watch it all vanish right in front of you. (Time reversal)—> [ World End.]

I'd rather exit life than go on like that.

Instead of being a hunter. I'd rather start a milkshake business. I get to eat sweets and if it's successful enough I'd be able to try a delicious mud cake with every meal of the day, to grow old and fat and lazy with the power to live how I please.

And to make that dream fantastic. I would sell expensive milkshakes that give hunters the ability to grow stronger very quickly— then die the next day and repeat the business in the next life.

A disposable business that only appears once in a lifetime.

"…"

It seemed far better than always spending my life here simply just to be alive and watch many people go away.

[ You watched it die.]

[ You've gained experience.]

I know that life would be better than this or if worst comes to worst and I lose my mind.

There is always the option to become a real devil.

One who offers hope in places fueled by mortal suffering.

"…"

My senile and dull emotions that have rotted from the years of apathy and idleness for being a No-Life were at its end and somewhere in my blackened heart I felt sad for those who were involved here.

Although there was another side of me that wonders about the way they nonchalantly waltz into a dungeon.

"…"

Maybe by some rotten form of sympathy.

God would show a miracle today.

Like he always had done by doing nothing and just exist in the hearts of others,

Cursing god what have I become, maybe I wasn't happy that a real god didn't come to greet me when I died and told me that I was a good little boy who could go back in time to save his sister from being sick, from having her being born a disable and live just like everyone else.

"…" I fucking hated god and the devil and the school kids who took no effort in their jobs at fast food joints.

I hate them all and myself for being a disposable and sacrificial flesh and human being, but I don't really feel that way.

I just tell myself I do.

I don't want to become senile and mad.

I was lucky though.

[ Branded by Siphon: Black Souls grant +10 stats in all parameters.]

A mark scorched in the middle of a digit [005] that resembled the amount of black souls I had on my profile.

A system that offered me anything I wanted if I were to simply die for it.

An indefinite time to make and create experience with no permanent consequences.

I had everything millions would simply die for in a heart beat.

[ ] Al

[LP: 8000, BAL: -000, Rank: E]

[Sacrificial Devil: Fated to perish wretchedly]

[Abilities (+)]

[Black Souls:005]

[ x:50 x:50 x:50 x:50 x:50 x:50 x:50 ]

But too bad that I developed an awful sacrificial personality who only wanted me to die.

" What a wonderful world."

…

" Lee-Johee!!!!"

I turned away from the notification screen.

There was someone I knew who ran with every breath she could muster.

[ Do you wish to prevent the tragic ending of a main character?]

[ There is no benefits or rewards for attempting this quest.]

[ This quest was generated by a mere… whim.]

I noticed the way some decided to split away from her, because they were being targeted by the cruel lord.

[ You can choose to simply ignore it.]

[ Nothing will change.]

" Jin!!!"

" Lee-Johee!!!"

It spared the others, but her.

" Lee-Johee!!"

"..." I heard a glass shatter and Miss healer fell over the organs of someone.

She crashed and tumbled over the blood and she kept rolling with her feet entangled.

The cruel lord smiled at her pain.

" She isn't moving." I heard someone say.

She was breathing and her hands couldn't stop trembling.

The beautiful Miss Healer I saw in frames wasn't as beautiful as the art depicted her.

She bled from her right eye and she showed signs of extreme exhaustion.

She slowly came to her senses, but when she saw that I was looking at her.

It was a very long time since I had last seen such a sad look on a person's face.

"No…" She covered her face.

There was a burning sensation in my chest as a response to the blood I saw on her and how familiar it all seemed to a moment before I joined Siphon.

I bit down on the side of my tongue.

I thought of that woman who took care off me.

"…"

I thought of something that could help her. However small it seemed because did not like that fact I was remembering something I chose to never think about again.

The furthest statue was a few bodies away from one holding onto a spear, but the cruel lord stood in the way.

Just the sight of his shadow was enough to paralyze her and its presence took over her mind completely.

I was the only person who could see the fear, the pain.

Any possible method that can prevent her from dying all came down to how much time was enough to run out and grab her and exchange places, but I remembered one important detail about this place.

When it came to speed.

The fastest hunter died because the cruel lord took notice.

If I jumped out then I'd be the one responsible for turning her to ashes.

I felt so sorry for her.

"Miss Healer."

I felt very sorry for her circumstance because I loved her character.

She was someone who I was glad to have stayed alive until the very end, but… It was just too bad.

She wasn't really alive in the story. Her existence was glossed over by the presence of a hunter who had the power of a Shadow Monarch.

" Al…"

" Yes?"

Over her shoulder, the cruel lord raised his foot.

She couldn't see it, because I took her attention away.

I thought she would scream like the others and hide herself the moment she noticed something was wrong.

She looked at me as if knowing it would come to get her.

Those dead eyes accepted everything.

Sera showed something familiar before her operation.

'I don't want to die.'

' You won't. You will get better and we'll go home.'

' It's getting worse Al.'

' No don't listen to them.'

' Don't give up.'

'…'

' Please…'

'…'

' It's okay Al.'

' No. You're going to get better.'

' And we'll go back home.'

'…'

' No more operations. No more hospitals.'

'…'

[ A memory has faded.]

" What are you doing…?"

" I'm doing what I wanted to."

" Thinking of a normal way that would work out and maybe help you?"

"…"

" Because it seems as if no one here has decided to at least try."

"…"

" I don't blame them. Most of us would rather avoid hurting. It's just a normal instinct we have as a human beings. Don't think so much about it Miss Healer."

" You know yourself that they are good people." I smiled as I thought more about the words I had chosen to say.

I didn't blame the hunters who did not step out to do something about the cruel lord.

Some people did die because they tried to help someone else before, and the evidence was written all over the floors.

In blood, that was the answer for going out to help someone.

Some tried to help us by screaming and detailing the obvious thing that we saw in front of us.

Stand up— Run and Run for your life again.

What they didn't know was that there was no saving someone who made the decision to not go on.

To not live.

I didn't know what decision she had made, but I understood mine.

"…" I walked out because I couldn't stand those dead eyes she showed me.

" You have a very pretty face."

Miss healer seemed a lot different up close than how I remembered her.

The memories of me standing by her side when Jin-woo was on the floor and healing him.

She was not as healthy as I remembered, drained and without energy and the worst was that slight jerk she had as if wanting to look over her shoulder.

I extended my hand and reached for the middle of her brows.

" Don't give up."

" Choose life."

I flicked the middle off her forehead, but for an odd reason, it almost seemed as if I hurt myself against a rock.

"…" She reached out for the middle of her head and glared at me.

I ignored her reaction because it was something that wouldn't kill an ant.

My fingers were slender and delicate and I didn't feel any strength from them.

I reached out for her foot because she couldn't stand up on her own. All of the muscles in her calves were stiff and inflamed.

"Am I hurting you?"

She shook her head.

It felt like the presence of the cruel lord behind her terrified her to the point she could only reply to me with physical prompts and slight gestures.

I just smiled.

" There is a problem. I'm not a healer or a doctor but from my experience." I voiced out my thoughts to her.

" It will take some time for your legs to go back to normal."

She just looked at her heels and how my fingers massaged the parts that were bad.

" Maybe we could try jumping to different dimensions next time?" Like that person in a movie that allowed him to jump to different countries.

"…"

[ A phantom has manifested.]

I found the entire scenario with her being mute to be familiar to my conversations with Sera when she was in the hospital.

In my madness, I began to talk to myself without regard for miss healer sitting there.

" Al… I did what you had told me to."

" Told you too…? You mean to kill yourself?"

" I'm sorry… I couldn't—-"

" It's okay," I said.

" I couldn't make it in time—-"

" Don't worry about it!"

Miss healer looked at me as if I was… the odd one here.

" I know what you are thinking. I could see it in the way you're looking at me."

" I'm very handsome right?."

I was humiliating myself in front of a pretty girl.

" I don't know if you're being silent by choice or if it's very difficult right now."

"…" I reached out to wipe a bit of blood that fell from her lips.

" I think it's normal to be afraid of things you can't control."

" We aren't so different."

" We can both die at any given moment."

" So smile and think of the good moments you had lived until today."

" This may be our last chance."

I leaned over and stared into her eyes.

" I would like to ask a question."

" If this was all the time we had left."

" Would you be my slave until the end?"

I watched her lips twitch and shook her head violently.

" That isn't an answer."

I reached out and flicked her brow.

All my feelings subsided when my expression morphed and a shadow covered us.

I shook my head to tell her I was right by her side.

Between the two of us. I tried to show her that there isn't a need to be so afraid.

" Thinking and feeling will only make you lose your mind."

She lowered her head and I reached out and placed my hand over her shoulder.

" Listen to my voice." I couldn't feel an ounce of her pain, but she showed them so vividly.

At this moment, just a shadow was more exhausting than someone carving your chest open with bullets.

It was always the slow process that was a lot more painful than what people callously described as death.

They spoke as if they had never seen someone die in front of them before. All they did was glorify the part that did not even matter.

The ending and not the process of it.

" Come closer." I reached into her arms and hugged her.

It was an uncomfortable embrace, I was merely counting the moments of time it would take for us to go, but I watched the faces of the others who stared at us underneath their statues.

"…" I felt Miss healer lean against my head maybe out of exhaustion.

I pressed into her for some sense of comfort for our situation.

While they stood beneath their safe havens I tried to recreate the sensation I felt when I had last used Alter Reality.

" Are you tired?"

I felt her tremble in my arms.

"…" I knew I was different from her.

Here we were waiting for the impending doom and yet all I felt and thought about was comforting someone who is afraid to die.

Acting as if I wasn't in the same situation she was going through, but we both lived the same life.

" I don't want to see you die." I whispered.

[ A memory has faded.]

[ A phantom has attacked the cruel lord.]

[ A memory has faded.]

[ A phantom has attacked the cruel lord.]

[ A memory has faded.]

[ A phantom has attacked the cruel lord.]

[ A memory has…]

Everything was always dying right in front of me.

Every day…

' Al we're going out tonight right?'

[ A memory had faded.]

In Siphon.

' Mark him.'

[ A memory had faded.]

Nothing really mattered.

I smiled at Miss Healer who was staring at me wiping my tears.

I reached out and combed a strand of hair behind her ear.

" You're so pretty."

I reached for her chin.

" It's too bad that I didn't have the chance to hear your consent to be a slave."

" You would have made for a lovely wife…"

The phantoms who attacked the cruel lord faded the moment they touch him.

I reached out my hand and suggested they stop trying and come back to me.

I reached out for one.

A small butterfly on the verge of fading.

' Al I told you you're not allowed to go there.'

' But he was selling it for 100 dollars off.'

' You're wasting money on cards!'

' But If I find one more card I could make more money!'

' Al!'

[ A memory has faded.]

I watched its glow dim and fade through my fingers like mist.

"…"

Memories.

The only thing that stays with a person when they die.

It's memories.

I saw her lose a bit more of her energy when our surroundings grew darker than before.

Her eyes stared intensely at the only miracle a few steps in front of her.

Like a moth captivated by something warm, and illuminating, but unable to move its wings.

A few seconds, A few steps away, One jump was all it took to escape this tragic ending for her.

That's what she hoped and believed, but I didn't believe it.

Things just felt so different this time around.

The statues that surrounded us, the cruel lord who will murder them.

Hope in her eyes was just as beautiful as the number of hunters who adjourned this dungeon with their red remains.

Coating the walls, and imprinting their tragedy in the souls who remembered them die.

I wanted to see her live and not be like them.

I reached out to wipe those tears blurring her sight.

I looked to the gate.

The same gate I stood in front of and lost my head.

" Is there people you love outside there?" I asked by her side.

She replied by slowly shaking her head. She broke into tears more than when the cruel lord stood over us.

" I'm sorry…"

" Unfortunately. No-one is waiting outside for me to go back home."

I held her hand.

" Everyone I loved is already gone."

I pulled her into an embrace.

" It will be okay."

I held her as if I was holding my sister that day she died.

" God will a show miracle eventually..."

[ All your phantoms have faded.]

I raised my head to see the last fragments of phantoms dispersing.

[ The cruel lord is attacking.]

I pulled her close against my skin to shelter her from the image of the cruel lord who made the decision to kill.

" It's going to be okay." I shouted when I heard her scream.

' Doctor what's happening to her?'

[ A memory has faded.]

"Don't give up!"

' Al!!! Get out here!'

[ A memory has faded.]

" Choose life."

' I don't want to do this anymore.'

[ A memory has faded.]

I watched glimpses of light manifest by our side as phantoms surrounded us.

Despite the air being ripped away and the pieces of skin that dripped off the cruel lords' feet over our heads.

I reached in for Miss healers face as the image of our final moments together would only be a memory of painful torture, because of our short time left.

I reached in and placed a kiss on the edge of her lips as a formal farewell.

And like the glow that healed Jin-woo. I started to imagine that same power to change the things I saw.

[ Passive Effect- Phantom Memory. The ability to evoke faded memories into holographic projections, but fades faster as time passes.]

> [ Altered Effect- I don't want to destroy life. Phantoms are influenced by the choices you make. They will seek out and alter imperfections.]

All the wounds slowly mended and the blood as if time was affecting the process, bit by bit those traumas on her skin reverted.

She looked just like the girl I fell in love with a very long time ago.

" Like a princess."

" Al…?"

As I remembered I was able to bring back her voice.

Although I felt a little happy.

My hand couldn't stop shaking.

All my feelings and my senses went numb the moment it appeared, I just couldn't tell why.

[ Phantoms are influenced by the choices you make.]

I reached out my hand to the place I kissed on her lips, because I felt something in me was fading.

" You're mine."

" Until the moment I die."

" You belong to me."

"…"

I reached for her lips and kissed her again, but the tasteless kiss we shared I couldn't think of it.

Something was hurting inside.

What I thought would be a beautiful memory was nothing more than a wish-fulfillment that Miss Healer would comply with my desire.

All I felt was just an emotionless kiss I had initiated and that made me lose interest in life.

I pulled away from her when I noticed it.

"…" She was confused and didn't seem like she knew what happened and she looked at me as if trying to confirm what I had done to her.

" Don't think too much about it." I wiped the blood that I tasted from her.

" It was only a kiss."

"…"

In place of her lack of affection.

I simply smiled.

I had forgotten one thing about others.

I had forgotten how long it took for someone to do these things.

I wasn't used to showing affections.

And I didn't want to spend my life attempting to have someone else fall in love with me.

"I-I'm sorry…"

" That's what I should be saying." I reached out to her shoulder and smiled.

" I'm so lucky to have kissed you though."

" Only if it lasted a little longer."

After my words, I felt the smile on my face go away when I turned away from her.

" Bye-Bye." Then darkness gripped my mind.

[ You have activated Alter Reality.]

...

There was nothing to keep me here, but to alter reality again.

No words to say to soothe our time together.

It was simply all meaningless the more I thought about it.

In some way. No matter what I say or do.

No one will remember me.

So if nothing mattered at all then what can I do?

I could always alter everything into something I wanted to see.

A dark and twisted laughter escaped me as I thought about the reality of how I could never hold on to life as I had always told others people too.

In the end.

I chose to give up and choose death.

"…" It always seemed to work out that way.

" Al…"

" Al!!!"

I couldn't really hear her voice, not over the visions and images I was seeing of a darkened silhouette standing over the dead.

" Siphon."

[ Hidden effect of Sacrificial Devil has activated.]

[ Sacrificial Devil. Fated To Perish Wretchedly.]

[ Hidden effect- Alter Reality.]

[ The ability to alter reality in your image, but the sacrifice is expensive.]

[Your heart has rotted.]

[ Your spine-

[ Your-

[ Your-

[ Your body has been destroyed.]

[ You watched it die.]

[ You have gained experience.]

"…"

I watched myself die again.

Miss healer rushed over to the body and I knew she could not see me.

I heard her call my name, but she rushed straight through me.

I leaned over the side of her shoulder and placed my hand over it to comfort her from something I would always see.

The death sequence of someone named Al.

" Why…"

" Why…"

[ You have created a new ability.]

[ Siphon.]

" Al..." We had the same name, but I was sure the Al she was screaming for wasn't me.

We did not have that kind of history.

So I stared from behind her, watching her grieve for some who wasn't me.

I thought about it a very long time ago.

If I were God just for a day.

What would I do?

The answer had not left me even if years had gone by.

All I wanted was Peace, Peace, and immunity to all crimes.

Most people would like to work their way up and become a god and live a beautiful life, there was just something lacking about it.

I could never see myself in that kind of world.

So before I go.

[ You're on the verge of fading.]

I'll alter this reality as a sacrificial devil.

I raised my head to the cruel lord and how he replicated a white god sitting callously on his throne overlooking an empty world and those golden eyes callously looking down at me.

That was the power I wanted to die for.

Something that belonged to the Absolute Being.

" May you perish wretchedly." I bowed before the cruel lord and then to the statue in the distance holding onto a tablet with a hand over my chest.

I recited the spell with the ability I had envisioned and phantoms emerged in the image of a beast that morphed between a spider, a butterfly, and a snake.

An ethereal beast so large its body filled out the entire dungeon.

[ A phantom has manifested in the world of the living.]

It floated over him with its wings spread wide open, but no one could see it.

No-one reacted.

All I saw was a thin thread of purple aura linking around the Architect's neck from the beast and then it faded.

[~+~ has siphoned an ability from an entity in the range of personality construct.]

[ Abilities siphoned by this effect: Blessing Of The Absolute Being.]

The moment I saw the text I walked over to the body Miss healer was holding onto.

She was holding onto him and not letting go.

" Al…" I wondered if it was just my detachment from the dead that I can't feel her pain, but from as a sacrificial devil.

I stood before Miss healer even if she could not see me and it would only take a few moments for her to be like me too.

I reached out my hand.

[ Do you wish to continue?]

[Yes] or [ No]

The same image I had remembered waking up to before my transfers.

In this moment of death.

I adjusted the modification to manifest in front of her and she raised her head to its light.

" Do you wish to continue…?"

She looked tiredly at the screen.

" Al… Is that you?"

I listened to her speak to herself and she raised her head.

"…"

" Please…" I saw her hand fall through the option yes.

The hologram faded in front of me.

In her dismay at the system's disappearance, I extended my hand and pressed my fingers in the middle of her brow.

" You have gained a blessing from the Absolute being," I said to her.

[ You have gained a blessing from the Absolute being.]

" You have been blessed by a Sacrificial Devil"

[ You have been blessed by a Cruel lord.]

"…"

" Raise your hand over his body."

[ Reach out your hand over him.]

I saw her do as I told her and I place my hand over hers.

" Follow my instructions."

[ Say the words.]

She looked at the screen.

" Arise." I said.

[ Arise.]

" Arise…"

A twisted black aura manifested over him and cloaked him in purple.

I smiled at the process of a shadow extraction emerging before my eyes.

I saw a shadow manifest from my body and it looked nothing like a human, it stood in front of me with its head bowed lowly.

It just stared at me as if it saw me.

I raised my hand over his heart.

" My dear Shadow Lord," I called him and like the first greeting, I was met with.

I offered it my regards.

" Welcome to this wonderful world."

[ You're personality is compatible with shadow transfers.]

[ Do you wish to transfer into this body?]

" Transfer."

[ Your death process has been placed on hold.]

[ You are being transferred—-]

…

The moment I heard the sound of someone crying.

I felt submerged in something warm.

[ An entity stares at you in fear.]

Then I opened my eyes.

[Your form has been altered.]

I stared at my blackened ethereal hand that was on the verge of fading.

[ You have been transferred into a Shadow Lord.]

I remembered it was a body that could never truly die, but it was more than just that.

So I was envious that I was born a human instead of a shadow.

I felt everything from here.

The life energy I had never seen before in all of them.

The hunters, the statues, each one of them had a different color burning inside of them.

I conjured an image in my mind.

A purple sigil manifested from the aura that cloaked my form and a symbol of the Seal Of Orichalcos manifested by my will.

[ This Spell is impervious to negation, destruction, and removal. Increase the ATK power of all your monsters by 500.]

[ Monsters with less attack will not be targeted if there is a stronger monster still remaining on the field.]

[The soul of whichever being loses this battle is forfeit to the winner.]

[ You have no soul.]

[ A field spell has been activated.]

The insignia of Orichalcos reached out and extended over the dungeon.

I could feel the numbers of life that existed within the field.

Some were terrified by the way it illuminated the blood of those who have died previously into a fluorescent purple mixed with red and most looked at me in fear.

I turned behind me to see the same look they gave on my dear Miss Healers' face.

She stood back as I reached out my hand.

That short exchange was nothing I hadn't seen before.

I pushed for her brow.

[ You have siphoned an ability.]

A green aura began to manifest over it and I saw how its light darkened and corrupted by the color purple.

[ A healing ability has been altered.]

The only instinct I knew was to scatter its light over the forms and remains of hunters in this place and slowly like phantoms, their deformed flesh began to fade like how monarchs and rulers died in the scenes.

They faded into fragments of tainted lights.

[ An entity glares hatefully at you.]

As their remains faded notifications of shadow extractions appeared over the field, but I ignored them all.

I didn't care for an army of Shadows.

I preferred to be the only one.

I showed no emotions to those who witnessed something only a few would see in their lives.

[ An entity is watching you intensely.]

The power of the Shadow Monarch was different from the ability of the Absolute Being at least the one I had in my control was a lot different than how I'd thought it would be.

As if it were influenced by my ability to alter reality it felt like I did more than just conjure a shadow.

I had gained the shadow's memories too.

I clasped my hands together and imagined a holographic blade with the abilities of the black aura that corroded the hunters' forms.

[ You have attained a past life weapon: Little Rod.]

By a mere thought everything in sight shattered.

The moment I pierced Little Rod into the skull of the cruel lord.

Then a black aura manifested and exploded violently.

The sky of the outside world burned in a scarlet light and the dungeon that surrounded us was no longer existing.

Because of the two suns that shone brightly over us.

It was the first time I saw the sky in this world.

Even if it was only a dungeon.

This was a beautiful scene.

I raised my hand and extended my words over the entire area of my surroundings.

Like what I had seen in my time before transfers.

A system notification manifested by the hunters' sides.

The notification was sent to all humans.

[ Do you wish to continue?]

Unlike before I left them without options.

And in a single moment.

I raised my little rod and split the air by my side.

They saw their world outside that hole in the air.

Whether to run out because of fear or chase the exit I created.

It was not my concern.

I raised my little rod and walked to where the Architect stood petrified by my presence or form.

[ You are on the verge of fading.]

Life as a milkshake businessman seemed more ideal than living as a shadow.

I placed Little Rod on the ground and waited.

" What…. Are… you…" The Architect rose from the rumbles.

" That power…"

I extended my hand.

[ Is nothing special.]

I answered, but the Architect attacked.

" You filthy…"

" Ash born you betrayed!!—"

[ Fade.]

I blew over my palm and the Architect withered before me into ashes of dust.

[ You watched it die.]

[ You have gained experience.]

I was not Ash-born, but I didn't feel like saying it.

He wouldn't remember my response.

In response to his erasure, all the statues crumbled and fell to their knees.

I didn't feel like I was powerful, because he couldn't touch me.

If I were just a mere hunter. It would just be the same thing again.

I would still die.

So I didn't feel anything even when I saw the notification of his death.

The system was callous and placed him in the same category as any other person who died in front of me.

I pulled out Little Rod from the ground and wondered what I would do from there.

I killed a being who was considered strong in this reality, but it didn't feel as if it was something important.

There was a rift that connected to someplace I did not know.

I walked closer to the cruel lord, but there was a boy who stood there with a weapon raised toward me.

Jin-woo's trembled in fear.

I recounted the commandments I could vividly remember.

In all these transfers.

These were the words that existed in this dungeon.

[ Kneel before the cruel lord.]

Almost immediately all the hunters bowed their heads.

[ Praise the cruel lord.]

All the hunters stared down in fear.

[ Prove your faith.]

I extended the blade and walked forward.

[ And lastly.]

[ Perish Wretchedly.]

A black aura suppressed all life into the ground.

The Seal Of Orichalcos glowed brightly as all life in my vicinity suffocated by my words.

[ Tragedian has been activated.]

I canceled the spell immediately when I noticed their life energy showing signs of dimming.

I looked at my body which was in-cased in black crystals signs of deformity relating to the altered reality process of rotting.

Black hair and was dressed in clothing that represented a simple plated armor that covered his body very lightly.

He may not have looked like me, but I treated him as if we were the same.

Without so much importance.

[ Little Rod had dematerialized.]

Like I had for the hunters.

I ignited a blackened light over him.

" S-Stop!! You can't…" Jin-woo refused to step away from it and he pushed his hands into the light.

" Ah!!!!!!!!!"

[ An entity is watching you.]

I noticed the purple aura that manifested invisibly behind Jin-woo a reflection of a large being they could not see.

A knight encased by large shadows and a purple aura.

I lowered my hand and snuffed out the jet-black aura that had been burning him.

The light I had conjured to eliminate my did not stop until there was no evidence of myself

Jin-woo lowered his head and shook violently.

" No more…" And then he did something that made me feel sorry for him.

He kneeled and prostrated on the ground while the surrounding hunters watched him bend on his knees.

The astral projection of the Shadow Monarch flickered in and out of existence behind him as if it awaited something.

I watched a small portion of my hand begin to disperse into fragments of fading light.

Like a phantom.

I was fading too.

[…]

I manifested a purple aura from a piece of my shadow and I raised my hand over my chest and bowed my head lowly to the figure they could not see.

' Al I told you to stop playing video games!'

' It's not a video game mom!'

' It's a novel! A book! A webtoon!'

' M-mom? Y-you bastard… we're the same age!'

'Get out of that dark room you No-Life!'

[ An ability is on the verge of fading.]

[ An ability is on the verge of fading.]

[ An ability—]

I bowed my head to the tallest statue broken with a large hole that deformed his face.

The monster who created all monsters.

The Original Ruler of this world.

I extended my hand over the face of the cruel lord.

[ You have mended a stone statue.]

[ An entity looks at you with sympathy.]

Instead of the wicked and twisted smile I had seen in all my moments here. I created an image of the Absolute Being and what his expression would have looked like that day if he died in peace.

[ You have flawlessly designed the exact image for the Absolute being before being betrayed by his creations.]

[ You have altered this reality.]

I stood over him. It looked nothing like stone, but a slender jade of polished quartz.

[ Abilities of the Architect have been siphoned into your modification system.]

[Statue Manipulation] [System Moderation.] [Ruler's Authority.]

[ You have attained shadow synchronization.]

I thought a lot about the system and how useless it all was.

All these walls of text of meaningless didn't really matter in the end without or without it.

Life would still go on the way it does.

So I felt envious of the hunters when all of the dangers they had known vanished away.

What they saw in front of them was just an illusion of peace. Some day somewhere, they will die.

If not today, then tomorrow, and if not tomorrow somewhere else in the future.

While they go on to live and remember today.

I'd always be here and nothing would ever change.

[ All shadows have dematerialized.]

— You have died.—

[ You have gained a Black Soul.]

[ You will now be transferred to a past life.]