23. Strange thoughts.

Few minutes later, there came a knock, and Derek got up from his seat and headed for the door. Hayford came in after Derek opened and held the door, and he walked in and placed the tray on the table.

He tried to avoid Rory's gaze on him even when she muttered an appreciation after he dropped the food.

'I won't let you charm me, young lady!' He screamed inwardly and made his way out in a hurry as Derek was still holding the door, a clear indication that he needed him out as soon as possible. When he got to the door, he slightly bowed at Derek.

"I'll come back later for the dishes, boss." He said and quickly left without waiting for a reply.

Derek closed the door softly and sauntered towards the table. Rory was looking around curiously. He saw her blue-green eyes swirling with curiousity and questions as she looked at the various paintings and arts on the wall.

Rory was so curious, and being the types that liked questions and loved to learn new things all the time, she saw everything in his room questionable.

Why was there different paintings of the same thing? Something like a cross was in almost all the paintings. She loved paintings, and with everything she painted she had a meaning to it. She wondered what inspired his drawings and paintings. She badly wanted to ask but she stopped herself.

"You can go to your room and eat if you're not comfortable here." Derek calmly said when he saw her still looking at his paintings. Rory snapped her head to his face and shook her head rapidly.

"Oh no, sir. I was just..." Curious about your paintings, she wanted to add, but she didn't want to bring the paintings up so she smartly thought of something, "I didn't expect you to let me join you here."

Derek nodded. "Let's eat then."

"Yes, sir."

God! He was getting frustrated with this sir sir thing.

They began eating in silence, Rory stealing glances every now and then. This wasn't the first time she had eaten with him, but she couldn't get over how graceful he looked while eating. And when his cute dimples showed when he was slowly chewing...

Rory quickly looked down when she felt like Derek was about to look her way. It would be embarrassing if she was caught staring. She scolded herself inwardly to behave and eat her food.

"Are you okay?" Derek suddenly asked. Rory looked up at him sharply.

"Huh?" She innocently asked, confused. Why was he asking that all of a sudden?

"You looked flustered. Is the food okay for you?" Derek asked. He liked spicy food, and the food was quite spicy so he was wondering if the spiciness was too much for her.

"Um... Yes, sir... I... I'm fine." She stuttered with a quick nod and a cute smile. "The food is very okay for me."

Oh no! She embarrassed herself. She felt like facepalming, and she felt the heat on her face increase and her grip on the cutlery tighten as she tried hard to swallow the food left in her mouth.

"Here." Derek's voice came in, and when Rory looked up, she saw him with a glass of water. Rory took it and sipped on it to calm her rapid heartbeat. She tried not to look at Derek though she felt his gaze on her, and that wasn't really helping matters. But his deep voice came in again, "I'll tell Esther to make the food less spicy next time."

Sh*t!! Rory cursed inwardly.

He got it all wrong. That was not the issue. She loved spicy food as well. Now she was feeling bad. But she couldn't refute. Else what other explanation would she give for her flustered face? So all she did was nod like an obedient child with her head bowed. Maybe later she would tell Esther to do her thing. She then strictly looked down in her plate. Enough of the embarrassment, she thought.

And now it was Derek's turn to look at her. He had felt her gaze on him, and when he turned to look, her face was all flustered so he thought she was not comfortable with the spiciness.

Now she was back to eating normally. Her flushed cheeks had minimized a little, but there was some few beads of sweat on her forehead which had trapped some few strands of her blonde hair. His hand itched to remove them, but then he scolded himself.

What was wrong with him? He seemed to have no control over his body and mind when this girl was in sight.

He was trying to understand why he did all he did some few minutes ago; walking close to her, removing strands of hair from her face and tucking them behind her ear, moving close to whisper into her ear, stroking her cheek...

Dang it!!

This girl was doing something to him. Thinking about all that, he felt something funny crawl in his belly.

He watched her eat slowly and gently, like the lady she was. He was aware he was watching for quite too long, but he seemed not to have had enough.

He was beginning to notice that this girl was slowly evading his thoughts. He had been thinking of her without her doing anything. This feeling was very foreign. He never had to think of anyone or anything. Only his work, not even about himself. After all, nothing good had ever happened in his life.

All his life he had not known what it felt like to have someone on his mind or to be on someone's mind. His mind had been blank since the tragic event, and the chirpy, funny and happy little boy had grown into a lonely one. He was now almost soulless and heartless, feeling almost close to nothing. Nothing seem to bother him anymore.

But since this lady came up, he had been occupied with her most of the time. Now whenever he saw a blonde girl, thoughts of Rory rushed to his mind unintentionally.

He had been bothered about it at first, thinking maybe something was bothering him. Maybe it was one of the effects of his condition. So he had actually gone to see his therapist about it earlier that day. He could still remember what had transpired.

***

"Doctor, I've been having strange thoughts and I thought it best to let you know." Derek started. Dr. Andre Suarez was the only person he trusted so far. He would just drive to him when he was bothered with some nightmares or when he felt the itching of his compulsions.

"What strange thoughts, Derek? Can you describe them to me in the clearest and simplest words?"

Derek nodded. "I... have been... " He didn't know where to start from and he felt even more frustrated.

Dr. Suarez smiled at him, encouraging him to continue.

"I have this girl in my custody..." He began with a slight frown.

Oh, it was about a girl. Interesting...

"A girl in your custody." Dr. Suarez tilted his head and repeated, just to make him know he was listening to urge him on,

"She has been coming to mind. And... I don't know why." His frown deepened, like it all didn't make sense. It didn't make any sense to him.

"You think about her?" Dr. Suarez tried to rephrase his statement.

"No, she is just there in my mind, ever since I saw her." He didn't understand what it meant to think about someone. "I try to remove her from there. From my mind, but even when I see someone with her hair colour, she comes back again."

Dr. Suarez thinned his lips and pursed them tightly. The frown on Derek's face and the seriousness in his voice was very amusing. Seriously, he had no idea at all?

"What else does this girl do apart from being on your mind, Derek?"

Derek fell in deep thoughts after the question.

What else? Many things!!

"When I see her... I feel... calm." He didn't know if that was the right word. "I feel my heart beating faster than normal." No! Then it meant he wasn't calm! "And she reminds me of my sisters and my mother... But this time, I don't feel sad when I do." Was he even making any sense?

Dr. Suarez nodded, trying hard to keep a straight face.

"When she's sad... when she's crying, I feel... " He thought for some seconds. What did he feel? "I feel... my heart squeeze, and... and I... I don't know but I don't seem to like that."

This was all nonsense! But he continued anyway.

"I have never felt this way before. And it bothers me. Maybe something else is happening to me." He wanted to tell him how bad he wanted to touch her face sometimes. Maybe it would make it look very serious and he didn't want that.

And he frowned even deeper when he saw a smile break on Dr. Suarez's face. " Is something happening to me?" He asked.

"Something is happening to you, Derek." He finally said.

"Is it serious?"

"Yes it is." Dr. Suarez said, and Derek sighed and looked down. "But it's not a bad thing." He added and Derek looked up immediately.

Should he be relieved?