Mistake

I walk to the bathroom and stop at the mirror.. I pull the ponytail out and my long dark hair comes free stopping just past my shoulders. I look at my grey eyes and black hair combo and I'm brought back to my Grandfather... he had the same hair and eye color but his hair had lost most of his color.

I shake myself out of my thoughts and move to the shower but I stop short when I spot the Nair I picked up the last time I was at the store. I was curious about it.. it claims that the hair even takes six to eight weeks to grow back.

I HATE having to shave so if it really did work that would be great, especially when I have to slip into my leathers. I pick up the can and do a quick read and figure it's easy enough. I strip down and step into my large shower closing the door behind me.

I shake the bottle up and start with my legs... hmmm.. easy enough.. why stop here? I then spray my arms and under arms but quickly find myself in trouble... This whole time I was spraying the stuff the floor of the shower has become super slippery.

I look at the now very empty can and toss it to the side... okay... it said wait four minutes.. ten tops.. so all I have to do is stand here.. I can do this. After waiting four minutes I wipe at my leg but the hair was still there... taking a deep breath I cover the spot back up as I make a face.

Good lord this stuff stinks... I feel my muscles starting to shake from standing still for so long but I try to ignore it. I start feeling it burn so I decide to check my leg again. STILL there... I'm starting to sweat and I start to question my life decisions. Why did I think this was a good idea?

Has it been ten minutes? In desperation I rub another spot on my leg and the hair was still holding... how strong was my leg hair??? I notice my boob was burning and when I look down I begin to panic. I had somehow brushed my arm against my boob and my poor boob was now burning like I had put acid on it!

"Screw this!" I say and move to turn the water on...only to have myself slip and land straight on my ass. "Oww oww oww..." I try to get some kind of grip but everything was so slippery I couldn't move. Here I was.. super badass.. being taken down by Nair... "Do you need my assistance?" Chip says through the bathroom speaker and I quickly say "NO!... I'm fine."

I grit my teeth at the pain on my ass and now I feel my girly bits burning.. After the third attempt I give up and know I'm going to have to verbally engage the shower but this thing had jets everywhere... I look to my left and right and realize I'm at eye level but I know this is it... I WILL NOT call Chip and let him see me like this... I say "Shower on... sixty percent."

The shower kicks on and hits me so hard I'm literally spinning on my ass. I was chocking on the smell of the Nair before but now I'm nearly drowning on the water from the jets. I try to stand only to realize it's IMPOSSIBLE! It's still so slippery that the only thing I can do is slide. NEVER in my life have I experienced something so slippery.. This is insane!

After fighting with the jets I stand on shaky legs.. breathing hard and nearly laughing at the stupidity of the whole thing. Nair... I stand under the powerful jets letting them clean it all away and once I catch my breath I begin scrubbing myself.

To my horror I realize that I now have patches of hair.. everywhere! My legs... my arms... patches! I grit my teeth and look to my poor boob.. it was red and angry and I didn't blame it.. I was red and angry too. Suddenly I remember my armpits... Shit. I lift my arms and instantly grit my teeth.

Everything burns... my legs.. my arms.. my boob.. and my girly bits! The worst part about this is that it didn't even remove all the hair!!! After scrubbing myself clean and washing my hair I storm out of the bathroom and into my bedroom.

I quickly change into the biggest shirt and shorts I own and cringe while applying my deodorant. Nair... I quickly brush my hair and find Chip waiting for me at the door on the robo vacuum. "What is that horrible smell.." I look down at him and say "Oh shut up.. you can't even smell!" I step over him as he snickers.

"I may not be able to smell but I can detect the chemicals in the air and I know it's not a good combo... plus I was worried.. so I checked in on you..." I freeze and turn to look at him in horror. "I've order some cream for the chemical burns.." He says and I bring my hand up, stopping him mid sentence.

"Not another word... erase everything you just saw..." I say in a low voice and Chip begins giving me a sly smile. "Don't worry I won't show anyone else.. it's just too good to let go." I close my eyes and take a deep breath and feel my poor boob and frown. "Get rid of it Chip... when will the burn cream get here?" I ask in a small voice and watch as he rides past me.

"Should be here in another ten minutes or so... depends on how fast the guy drives." Chip says making his way to the kitchen. I grab my poor boob and follow. I get a tall glass of water and think back to the moment I decided to try Nair... NEVER AGAIN!!