What liars you are.

Shushin POV

I can't save you while I don't know how to save myself.. niaoniao

I fainted yesterday, yesterday I was her and today I am myself, but I carry her feelings

I held the paper on my table, written by Niaoniao: "Hello, Shushen, I am writing to you, because the written words are difficult to completely erase and are evidence of the writer's life. You asked if love is worth it, right? Here is my answer, it is, But the meaning of love is different for every person. I met Rang while I was at the Royal Academy. I was alone, without friends, in a strange country. He was a talented, handsome, and famous man. I never even dreamed of loving a man like him, but he loved me and I thought this was a gift from God. I knew him since I was 16. And now I am 30, look at how long I have loved him? Because love keeps me alive and keeps me away from hate, and because I only have my faint love, Shushin, my dear, do not make a mistake with your choice, look carefully at each person in your life, mistakes are allowed because we are human, but not in love. Do not make a mistake by choice, because one wrong step and you will be like me in ten years. Choose the man who will love you a thousand times, not the man you will love a thousand times. I once thought that I would choose the one I love more because I knew that only my feelings were more reliable. I did not have the ability to trust others. I give you my soul and my heart. And support. Until my soul leaves your body, I am grateful to you. I, who thought I had lived a long time and known a lot, turned out to have known nothing."

Her message filled me with emotions, it made me a little sad. We cannot know love until we taste it, and I lived my life afraid of its taste because it was bitter after its sweetness. How painful is it to love a man? Men are very unreliable

Suddenly someone knocked on my room door, and I said: Come in

A tall young man wearing blue entered, and I said to him: Look at you, I almost didn't know you

He laughed and came to sit in front of me on the floor desk. He said: What are you doing here?

I smiled as I poured the tea and said: I came here to help the City of Death

You really work hard, who would know? You are so beautiful in winter clothes

I laughed and said as I placed the cup in front of him: Because I am winter itself

He took the cup: Working here was better than I expected. I learned a lot

"Qian Yu is very cute, right?"

He smiled: Yes, he is the first prince, so I expected him to be very arrogant or very lazy, but he is reliable and talented, a wonderful man.

He is the second best student at the Royal Academy

He said in amazement: "Really? Who came first then? It must be you."

I put down the cup of tea that was in my hand and, "Lu Yuxi."

He leaned closer to the table and asked, "Who is she?"

"She's the second princess."

He said: "From which clan?"

"The royal family."

He seemed shocked: You are the first princess and she is the second, and the girl from that day is the third, right? Is there more?

"Yes, we are divided into Four families, Xin, Feng, Lu, Yan, myself, Xiao Yan and her sisters Xiao Yao and Yao Yao from Xin, and all the kings of our family are from Xin."

"And the rest?"

"Mm.. Feng and Xin are in charge of weapons and poisons, the Fourth Princess Feng Jie Jie and my brother the Second Prince, Feng Shi Jin."

"Your brother? So your father isn't Xin?"

"My mother is a princess, so I took her title. My brother is from another mother, so he is Feng. As for Lu Yuxi and Lu Yi Xin, they are from the Lu family. They and the Yan family, one of them is responsible for medicine and the other is responsible for secret matters in the capital."

He asked: "What do you mean by secret matters, like an police for example?"

"They are corrupt, they torture people so spies and any dangerous person are interrogated by them, so no one dares to challenge the royal family, maybe our cold hearts scare them away."

"I now know why the Magic Kingdom is so secretive, but what happens if someone leaks your information?"

"His entire family will be exterminated," I said indifferently while fiddling with the papers next to me.

He said quickly: "But I thought you were very fair people. In your view, every human being, even children, has their own rights. How can another person's mistake take another life?"

I answered him as I left the papers and looked at him: "You are right, this is implemented in all matters, and the family of the traitor is not exterminated because of his betrayal. In your country if someone insults the king or does not carry out his order, he is killed and his family is rejected, and they live their entire lives like the dead, the least act, the least guilt, and the least sin, makes one without Value in the eyes of everyone, in your opinion, what kind of society is this? Even animals do not live in this cruel way. They have the right to live, grow, step and learn. Why is the traitor's family exterminated here? You should ask what are the criteria for a traitor first. There is a book that does not exceed 50 pages that talks about this matter, so why? This is because we respect and sanctify the value of the family. We all grow up on those traditions. Your family is a mirror that reflects your heart. If you lived in a cruel and sick family that made your heart sad, others will embrace you and find someone for you to complete your life and start a family with. If you live in a happy family, then you are a blessed and beloved family that makes society flourish. Like If there is A traitor who aspires to money, so what does his family think? Do they like money too? So they are traitors, a person who betrays his country and his people, cannot be trusted."

"I think that explains things, it is fair."

I said to him while looking into his eyes: "There is nothing completely just in this world. You can think it is justice and I think it is injustice. Where there is justice there is injustice. Where there is love there is hate. Where there is safety there is danger. This is how life is."

He laughed "Little girl, you are growing up so quickly into a beautiful and wise woman."

"Would you believe me if I told you that I don't want to grow up? I don't want to be responsible. I can't escape my fate, but I would like to complain to the walls from time to time."

"Don't you have people to go to or what? Are you so miserable as to talk to the walls?"

"It doesn't matter if I know a thousand people, I can't seem to hear what I want to hear and that makes me really miserable, so it's safer to talk to the walls. They won't blame, they won't say their opinion, and they won't make me feel so terrible, but to be honest with you, I don't even talk to the walls. I stare. And dive deep into myself. "

"He looked at me deeply after he sighed. There is no need to explain this action. I know very well. I look depressing and pathetic, and this makes me tired. No one can truly see my soul, but they say, "Shushin, express yourself so we can understand you." What liars you are. You will not save me from my loneliness. Rather, you will make me feel more pain. I gave you my entire soul, and in the end the person you thought I was was an unhappy and psychologically complicated person. Oh God, I gave them all my sincerity, but what I got in return was a wide wound in my heart. Neither man nor woman gave me a happy ending. No family, no friends, no Lover, to whom should I go? For myself? Here I am, I can't save myself or anyone else, niao niao, I seem to be especially like you, or that's how women are. We taste the same cup over and over again. It seems that disappointment never leaves us women."