Naruto Parodic Summary by CrazyBomb World

Link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcXtI7Sly9k&ab_channel=CrazyBombWorld

It's advised to read this while watching the video. I'm so good for description.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

++++++++++IN THE PAAYST++++++++++

Random: Oh My God, A giant nine tailed Fox (This joke works better in French).

Random: The President came to save us.

Then Minato appear on Gamabunta head.

Minato: There's only one way... sealing it in a baby.

Gamabunta: You sure about this plan?

Minato(with a troll face): Wait, I want to see how it'll go.

++++++++++IN THE PRESENT++++++++++

At Ichiraku Ramen Shop, Naruto is discussing with Iruka.

Naruto: Sensei, I don't really get why nobody likes me.

Iruka: Maybe because you got no respect for your elders, you're mediocre at school, your tastes in clothing and YOUR MUG! By the way, where do these moustaches come from?

Naruto: An idea of the author to attract the fury fan...

++

On a rooftop, Mizuki is proposing a deal to Naruto.

Mizuki: Hey Naruto, you already got a shitty reputation. So, how about going to the President to steal a ninjutsu scroll which may cause your possible death?

Naruto: Ok!

++

Hiruzen is interrogating the ninja guards after the succesful theft.

Hiruzen: Are you trying to tell me that a kid passed through the security formed by elite ninjas? Not surprising that the others villages don't take us seriously.

++

Back to Naruto and Mizuki.

Mizuki(throwing giant shuriken): Haha! It was a trap!

Iruka: NARUTO NO! (while getting impaled by the giant shuriken)

Naruto: Iruka! Are you fine?

Iruka: DO I LOOK LIKE I'M FINE, DUMBASS?

++

Naruto got angry and use the Multi Shadow Clones.

Naruto: It's rape time, bitch!

After a long rape...

Iruka: Congrats Naruto. This is your forehead protector.

Naruto: Does it mean that I graduated.

Iruka: Ha for that you would have to blow something other than ramens...

+++TRANSITION+++

Iruka is saying his last words to the newly graduates.

Iruka: Naruto, these are your new teammates:

Sakura: I hope I'll be useful!

Sasuke: Apparently, I'm here to bring cheerful disposition...

Naruto: Really?

Sasuke: No, however luring in the Yaoi fanbase that I can do.

*Recap on the kiss exchanged with Naruto*

++

Kakashi meets his new students.

Kakashi: Hi kids! How about trying to catch these bells while I'm reading an erotic novel?

Sasuke (seriously): I fear for our sexual security...

Kakashi: You're right about that! (-proceeds to reap Naruto anal virginity-)

+++TRANSITION+++

The team meets Zabuza.

Zabuza: I AM ZABUZA!

Sakura: Shame on him, he's wearing a parachute pants!

Zabuza: Ah yes! This sword is here to offset something I don't have

Kakashi: A congruent size penis?

Zabuza(deadpans): A lack of affection...

The team: OOH.

Following that is an epic figth...

Kakashi: BY THE POWER OF CONJUNCTIVITIS

Zabuza: Stop copying me!

Kakashi: No, YOU stop copying me!

Haku(taking the beaten Zabuza away): See you in one week, folks.

++

Kakashi powerleveling his team.

Kakashi: So, in the meantime, I'll teach you how to fuck gravity rules.

Amazing training montage follows.

++

Next fight with Zabuza

Kakashi: I'll take care of Zabuza. Naruto, Sasuke, you two will take care of this guy with ambiguous sexuality. And you Sakura... Stay useless!

Sakura: Ok!

Perfect!

++

Naruto: Let's go Sasuke, we will crush "him" together!

+++ONE ETERNITY LATER+++

Sasuke(beaten): I'm dying

Naruto(angry with plot armor): FURY MODE: ON!

Haku: Ok, I'm fed up with your bullshit! Better to suicide! (-proceeds to take on Kakashi chidori-)

Zabuza(saying his last words towards Haku corpse): Haku! I shouldn't have used you as a simple tool

Kakashi: A SEXUAL TOOL?

Zabuza: As a weapon

*Joint astonishment*

+++TRANSITION+++

Kakashi: Hey kiddos, wanna chain traumas on traumas? Good! I registered you in a potentially deadly exam.

Sakura: Look at the others entrants! They seem sympathic!

Choji: MY PERSONALITY IS FOOD!!!

Shikamaru: I don't give a fuck...

Ino: POWER TO BLONDY GIRLS.

Kiba: I fuck my dog.

Shino: I fuck insects.

Hinata: I trully would like to fuck Naruto.

Lee: I think I'm sexually harassed by my sensei!

Neji: Fate is only the fate of our fate, reunited by fate... FATE!

Tenten: I throw things.

Gaara: KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL!

+++TRANSITION+++

Creepy disguised Orochimaru: My child, do you want some candies?

Sasuke: Fuck off, Mickael Jackson!

Orochimaru: I can give you a tatoo which will make yo more emo instead...

Sasuke: Ok?

And Pedomaru marks Sasuke.

++

Jiraiya: Hey Naruto! Show me your boobs and I'll teach you how to become Jesus.

Naruto: WTF WITH THE OLD GUYS IN THIS MANGA, GODDAMIT?

+++TRANSITION+++

Fight between Naruto and Neji

Naruto(talking about Hinata): Neji, I'll avenge my fan-girl!

Neji: How about I tell you the history of my clan instead, in a touching flashback about fate of fate, and-

Naruto(knocking him out): No time! It's a summary, fuck.

++

Fight between Naruto and Gaara

Gaara: I'M SO EVIL!

Naruto: It's bad to be evil!

Gaara: Shit, I think he's right!

+++TRANSITION+++

Jiraiya: The President is dead. It's time to go to his direct successor.

Naruto: Shouldn't we hold a democratic election instead?

Jiraiya: No, let's use the piston technique, the only realistic part od the manga.

++

Itachi: Hi; lil bro!

Sasuke: Go fuck yourself, bastard! You're so ridiculous with your black painted nails!

Itachi: It hurts me!

Sasuke: Great!

Itachi: But if you want to kill me, you'd need punchlines even more hurting!

Sasuke: You dark circles face!

Itachi: No, this one was shitty...

++

Tsunade: Hello, I'm Tsunade, the milf...

Naruto: Fuck, a big forehead gal once again!

Jiraiya: Wouldn't you want to become President?

*Music: Fuck this shit, I'm out* Tsunade going away

++

Pedomaru: Tsunade, the other cunt broke my hands. I can't touch little kids anymore... Heal them...

Tsunade(deadpans): NO

Orochimaru: So, I challenge you!

Jiraiya: We'll fuck you two to one, asshole!

Orochimaru: If only you were kids

Tsunade: You're a big sicko, you know that?

Naruto: As everyone's acting as a coward, I suppose I'll go with the flow by hitting a guy wearing glasses!... Hey Harry Poter!

Kabuto: Yes? (-proceeds to eat a Rasengan-)

Tsunade: OMG, he hits Harry Potter!

Jiraiya: You bastard!

Tsunade: So, by the way, all this made me realize that I accept to be President.

Jiraiya: What makes you change your mind?

Tsuunade: Ohn dunno, celebrity, glory, thankfulness... MONEY!

+++TRANSITION+++

Sasuke: Naruto, I'm leaving the village. I must perfect my tatoo.

Naruto: How many times should I tell you that Orochimaru is not the presentator of Ink Master?

Sakura: NO! DON'T LEAVE. (-then get wasted-)

++

Naruto: Miss Big Forehead, Sasuke is going to Orochimaru, you should do something!

Tsunade: I've too much paper work and sudokus to finish, go instead of me.

Shikamaru: But we might die!

Naruto: Don't worry, no risk to have physicals and psychologics traumas. (*Foreshadowing*)

+++TRANSITION+++

Naruto: Don't go, you're my best friend.

Sasuke: You too, Naruto.

*Fight scene*

Sasuke: But I want to dollow the emo way to defeat my cowardly brother.

Naruto: And you have to follow a pedophile grand-mother, just for this?

Sasuke: Don't judge my messed up logic, I'm only 13.

+++TRANSITION+++

Kakashi coming after the fight like the cops.

Kakashi: Actually, I'm a shitty teacher.

++

Jiraiya: So seeing as you're a little weak, I propose you to come with me for 3 years to do intensive training.

Naruto: Having a three years trip alone with an old pervert! Ok!

Sakura: I hope that in 3 years, I will be even more useful.

NO