Mistakes

You had no idea how to use the projector so you tentatively called out to Miss Minutes who instantly appeared to help you out. She briefly chastised you for sneaking into the Time Theatre but she decided you weren't causing any harm and that she could allow it. You asked her to play happy memories from your relationship with Loki on the Sacred Timeline and soon you were sitting at the table with wide eyes and a wildly beating heart.

You knew that watching these scenes was a terrible idea and that it wouldn't alleviate your grief but you couldn't stop. Looking at yourself from the outside was still extremely awkward but being able to see the way Loki used to gaze at you on a big screen was just too tempting. It didn't take long for you to start crying from the overwhelming sorrow of having lost all that and you simply let the tears stream down your face.

Your heart felt as if it was being crushed by something heavy and every breath made you tense and sent painful shivers down your spine. Finally you couldn't take it anymore and you roughly pressed pause on the projector before sliding off the chair onto the hard floor. You curled up tightly and violent sobs wrecked your body until you felt lightheaded from not getting enough air in your lungs.

You wanted nothing more than for the world to swallow you and release you from the heartbreak and bitterness that were flooding your mind and soul. You startled when you heard footsteps close by but you didn't bother lifting your head to investigate the noise. Someone kneeled down next to you and you flinched when you heard Loki's soft voice ring out.

For a split second you wondered if you were hallucinating but when you opened your eyes you saw his outline through the curtain of tears. He was close enough that you could reach out to him if you wanted to but he was evidently taking great care not to touch you. He started speaking and it took you a moment to realise that he was telling you an amusing story from his childhood.

You had expected questions or maybe platitudes but you were positively surprised that he opted for a non-traditional way of getting through to you. He continued talking to you in a slow and smooth voice and eventually you felt yourself calm down. Your tears dried up and you managed to take a few deep breaths to support your body in dealing with the hiccups.

You carefully sat up and blinked until Loki came into focus and you were instantly drawn to the warm expression on his face. "Thank you," you whispered and when he opened his arms in an inviting gesture you immediately flung yourself at him and buried your face in his neck. He smelled clean and fresh in a way that reminded you of peaceful summer meadows and you let out a content sigh. He chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around you to hold you close.

You breathed in his comforting scent and almost started crying again since it reminded you so much of the Loki you had known. You blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall and leaned back to gaze at him again. He gave you a concerned look and lifted his hand to wipe away a single tear that had managed to escape and you shuddered under his touch.

In a sudden rush of need and desperation you pulled him down and smashed your mouths together. The moment your lips touched his you felt sparks explode inside your chest and you could feel him responding to the kiss. He was warm and soft and his hair was silky under your fingertips and you never desired anything more. Loki sighed against your mouth and that was enough to take you back to reality and to realise what you were doing.

You let go of him and scrambled backwards until you were out of his embrace and a safe distance away. "I'm so sorry, I just…" you were rambling and you were certain most of it was incoherent but you felt truly mortified at your actions. Loki was watching you with a questioning look on his face and before he had a chance to say anything you darted out the door and didn't look back until you reached your room.

You had a quick shower and once you were lying on your bed you groaned at the complete loss of control you had displayed. Loki had come to comfort you in a difficult time and you repaid that favour by assaulting him and making it weird. Your brain pointed out that he had in fact reciprocated the kiss but you didn't think that excused your behaviour.

You wanted to explain everything to him and possibly ask him about his reasons but the mere thought terrified you to the core. In the end you decided to pretend it never happened and simply move on with your life and your new work. When you woke up the next day your face was dry and achy and your throat felt dry from loss of hydration.

You met up with Mobius and Loki in the library and you could tell that the demigod was stealing glances at you but you did your best to ignore it. You were convinced Mobius instantly picked up on the strange tension between you but luckily he was polite enough not to ask. You took a deep breath and shifted your attention to the cases in front of you; you had to Variant to find after all.