Chapter 5

I looked down at my hand. Ace 10 of hearts. My stack at this point is at $300, way up from my original $100 buy-in. I looked to my right and see Jones furiously counting his stack, 8 drinks in, to see if he had broken even yet. His stack is quite sizable but definitely not even close to his 5 buy-in investments. I look to my right to see another opponent counting on his fingers. He's counting outs, which makes his hand pretty obvious given the board on the flop.

Ace, 3, 9 with 2 clubs.

I looked at my right wrist and ponder whether to play the Ace I hid in my sleeve or if it's not worth the risk of losing to a flush anyways. The action is on me and…

"Yooooo"

"Huh?" I turned around as my train of thought gets interrupted.

"Oh hey Steve, Bill, what's up?"

Behind them I see Grace standing there as well.

"Where's Oliver?"

"Yo, that's exactly why we came to get you," Bill said, "Oliver be wilding right now."

"Yeah, Debra you gotta check this out."

"Not now," I said," little busy."

"Hey is that an ace in your sleeve?" Grace asked with a shit-eating grin.

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

"Huh!?!?!??!"

The poker table uniformly gasped and stared at me. Fuck you, Grace.

"Ahahaha, I don't know what she's talking about," I said standing up to leave, "It looks like this is kind of urgent so… tell Jones your final chip counts and I'll send you the money later, promise! Alright, gotta run!"

If you're wondering why I'm the banker for this game, it's because I was the only one sober enough to handle the funds… after miscounting a cut for myself of course.

I got up and followed Grace, Steve, and Bill out of the room before the drunk poker players figured out what happened.

"So…" I began as we started walking downstairs, "what exactly happened with Oliver?"

"Yo, you gotta see for yourself,"

We made our way to the backdoor of the lake house entering the beach area. As I stepped outside…

"Go Oliver go!" I heard a crowd chanting at the beach. As I looked in the distance I see Oliver swimming far out into the ocean.

"What the… Bwhahahahahahhahaha what the fuck how hahaha how did this happen?"

"Well," Steve said, "It all started after a few bong rips. Yeah, Oliver was hella gone man."

"Yeah holy shit," Bill added, "He was just mumbling to himself exploring the bathtub and stuff and talking about how he got totally transported to a fantasy world."

"Yeah shit was wild, but honestly pretty dope he got so into it. Think he said Bill and I were like fellow warriors."

"Oh yeah, and he kept whispering to me how Grace was a Princess and we had to complete her quests or something."

"HAHAHA, what the fuck I can't I…"

At this point, I couldn't breathe from laughter.

"Nah nah, but it gets better. We like totally play into it with Grace pretending to be a princess and stuff and she starts giving us commands."

"I mean if the opportunity's there I'm gonna take it," Grace said, "I made the bong a mythical item."

"Uh-huh, but why is he swimming towards that buoy?"

"Oh yeah, that's the best part. Hahaha." Bill said trying to hold in his laughter, "So after some more hits, we decided to head to the beach cuz why not. And uhh… yeah Grace, why is Oliver swimming towards that buoy?"

"Okay, this was totally meant as a joke when I said it but… pfft hahaha, okay give me a second."

Grace took a second to calm herself.

"He was just insisting I give him a quest on the beach so I told him… I told him if he swam to that buoy, there was a treasure and a reward if he retrieved it for me hahahahaha."

"What the…"

"Yeah and without even pausing, he just says, 'Yes princess,' and takes off into the ocean hahahahaha. I mean it was lit not gonna lie, we're all cheering for him."

"Yeah shit look at him. Go Oliver go!"

"Go Oliver go!" everyone at the beach began chanting. Even I began getting into it. Truly a wholesome moment. But like many wholesome moments like when I was about to take my biggest candy stash at the convenience store or when I was about to fulfill a young struggling depressed teen's dream of doing cocaine for the first time, a terrifying sound suddenly came.

**Wee-ohhh Wee-Ohh**

"Oh shit, it's the 5-O let's go," someone at the beach shouted as chaos immediately ensued at the sight of a couple police cars on the street.

"Damn sucks for Oliver hahaha," I chuckled as I began running away to climb over the fence of the beach with Grace, Bill, and Steve.

"Uhhh, won't you lose like hella profits if Oliver's arrested?" Grace asked.

"… Fuck,"

The image of dollar bills flying away from me began popping into my head. An image too painful to bear as I tossed my wallet, smartphone, and car keys to Grace.

"Take my car and meet me back in my office," I said as I began running back towards the ocean.

"Wait, but… you guys good to drive?"

"Nope,"

"No chance,"

"Whatever, let's just use Debra's money to get an Uber."

Yeah… later that week I had to retrieve the car myself. Anyways, I began swimming towards Oliver. I'm not a great swimmer but by being sober, I at least far outsped Oliver quickly catching up to him.

"Oliver we have to leave."

"Oh, Master!" he said turning to me and looking at any moment he'd lose consciousness, "are you here to assist me on my quest?"

"Quest my ass, cops are here."

"Huh, the mods?"

"No dumbass actual cops… What the?"

Oliver suddenly began sinking under the water.

"Ol… Oliver!"

I swam up to him. His eyes were closed clearly blacked out.

"Yo, Oliver wake up," I said slapping him a few times. But he only opened his eyes for a moment before closing them.

"Pretty princess, must get treasure," he mumbled under his breath.

"Fucking,"

. I sighed swimming under Oliver and putting him on my back. At least he was pretty skinny. I looked back over at the shore where the cops were investigating the lake house's beach area so that was a no-go. I sighed as I began swimming at a right angle instead parallel to the shore with Oliver on my back hoping to go swim far enough away that the cops wouldn't follow.

"Okay just need to go all the way to 3rd Street." I thought, "Should take 30 minutes to walk back from…"

"Bllleeeehhhhhhhhh"

My thoughts were interrupted as I suddenly felt something on my back.

"Ewwwww!"

The previous alcohol Oliver consumed was coming right back out getting all over my shirt.

"Ew ew ew ewwww"

I bopped in and out of the water to get the puke stains off.

"Huh, where am I?" Oliver asked briefly regaining consciousness after his head dipped under water.

"Oliver please, just go back to sleep."

"Oh, okay sure,"

Somehow he managed to do just that. Yeah, I don't know, freaky. We eventually did swim far enough away to make it onto the shore near 3rd Street. Oliver however, remained unconscious.

"Oi wake up wake up," I said slapping his face again.

"Huh, what?"

He looked around eyes still gunshot red.

"Oh hey, master,"

"Get up," I said trying to drag him up. I managed to get him on his feet. He proceeded to look left and right at his surroundings.

"Mmm… nah I don't feel like it," Oliver said falling back onto the sandy ground immediately going back to sleep.

"What the fuck," I groan picking him back up. Princess quest my ass. Instead, I ended up Princess carrying him back the whole 30 minutes to my office.

"Well it can't get much worse," I thought as I finally arrived at my door. As I opened the door dropping Oliver onto the ground, however, there sat Grace, Steve, and Bill watching the TV they had moved from my room. On the ground near them were 2 boxes of pizza.

"Oh hey," Grace said with a slice in her hand "What took ya?"

"You… you guys…"

Unfortunately, I was too tired at that point to be angry as I immediately collapsed onto the floor and took a pizza slice from the boxes they ordered… with my credit card of course.