Fear

Saturday 

We were having breakfast at nine in the morning when Paul arrived. We left his condo half past eight last night and got home around ten because of the Friday traffic. I was only wearing a thick robe over my silk top and shorts. My face was bare and plain. Dad opened the gate for Paul. He kissed my mom on the cheeks as a greeting then Timothy reached up to him and called him pop. 

Mom and I exchanged glances when we heard what Timothy called Paul but we did not say anything. Paul sat beside me while he had Timothy on his lap. Paul told us that he already had breakfast so we continued eating and talked about random things that popped out of our heads. Paul mentioned that he wanted to take Timothy and me out of town. Mom and dad glanced at me meaningfully but they did not say a word. 

When we got to my room Timothy used my bed as a trampoline and Paul watched over him. I removed my robe revealing my red silk shorts and spaghetti strapped top. I glanced at Paul and saw him looking me up and down. 

"Can we?" Paul asked. I watched as his chest rose and fell. 

My eyebrows met in the middle because I did not understand it at first. My eyes widened when I realized what he meant, "No, Paul. You watch over Timothy while I take a bath." 

I was not surprised when I saw his familiar Jeep Wrangler parked in front of our gate. Paul loved the outdoors, that was why some of his skin was sunburnt. When he opened the door for the backseat I was surprised that he already had a car seat for Timothy.

"When did you get the seat?" I asked as I watched him strap Timothy on his seat. 

"After I spoke with my lawyer?" Paul answered, unconcerned. Then he gave Timothy his favorite pillow and closed the door. 

I was observing him as he opened my door for me. I paused for a moment because I did not know how to react when he mentioned his lawyer. I got in the Wrangler passenger's side then Paul closed my door. I watched as he sat on the driver's side. Paul's mood had changed. I was wondering what was wrong with him. 

Paul was quiet the whole three and a half hours drive to this white sand beach in the south of Manila. He only spoke to me when necessary. Like when we ate our lunch during stopovers and when he was assisting me as I changed Timothy's diaper. Other than that it was just nursery rhymes that kept us all sane during the drive. 

Another surprise was Timothy's nanny. When we got to the hotel that Paul booked, a woman in her thirties greeted us. She was wearing powder blue pants and top. And white sneakers for her footwear. Her hair was in a bun and she took Timothy from Paul. Paul introduced her as Minda. When we got to our room, I realized that Paul chose an adjoining room. Our room was connected to Timothy's. But each room was separated with a door that can be locked for privacy. Paul sat on a single sofa near the nightstand and checked his phone. I opened my luggage and looked for my cotton camisole. 

I was glad to be in a cool room after touring the amenities of the hotel under the heat of the afternoon sun. I glanced at my watch and it showed fifteen minutes past two in the afternoon. Minda said that she changed Timothy's diaper and told us that he fell asleep on the bed. I got my toiletries, undies, and my camisole then I went inside the bathroom. I welcomed the cold shower and tried all the complimentary hotel products.  

I got out with a towel still on my head then I glanced at Paul. His eyes were closed. He was probably tired because of the long drive. I walked to my luggage again to find my rubber slippers. I went to the dresser and brought my make-up pouch and found my mini hair brush. I was already brushing my hair when I saw Paul's reflection in the mirror, he was watching me. His eyes were wide open. 

I turned to him, "Are you okay? What's wrong?" 

He shook his head then he rested his elbows on his upper legs then covered his face with his hands. His arms and legs were shaking. I dropped my brush and ran to him. I held both his wrist and tried to remove it from his face, "Tell me what is happening, Paul?" 

"You rejected me," Paul stuttered. 

"What?" I scowled in confusion, "I don't understand?" 

"Earlier," Paul tried to say as he chased his breath, "In your room, you rejected me." Then I saw his shoulders move as his chest rose and fell. 

I paused for a moment and tried to recall what he was referring to. Then I remembered what we talked about in my room. I sighed and shook my head. I rested my left hand on his right cheek and I carefully traced his jawbone. I sat on his lap and wrapped my arms on his neck. 

"Paul, be sensible. We can't really do it when Timothy is around, can we?" I started to explain myself to him, "And my parents are in the other room?" 

Paul just stared at me and swallowed. We stared at each other for a moment then I kissed the right side of his neck, "Lock the door." I whispered to his ear. 

Paul's face lit up and his eyes widened after hearing what I just said. I stood up and transferred to the bed with a smile. Paul hurriedly locked the adjoining door and our main door. I smiled at him and met him on the bottom side of the bed. I made him sit on the bottom part of the bed and I rested my hands on his shoulders. I held his gaze as I straddled him. I lowered his face to me so our forehead could touch. 

"We already have a son. And you have me now?" I reminded him, "What are you worried about?" 

"I don't know why I was having these panic attacks," Paul whispered to me. 

I nodded and I removed myself from him. Panic was visible in his eyes again. I gave him a reassuring smile and I grasped the bottom of his white V-necked shirt then I took it off him. I dropped it on the floor. Paul watched as I unhook my skin-toned bra. His chest started to rise and fall again. 

"Paul?" I said as I cupped his face, "Relax a little." Then I started to remove his jeans. 

Our eyes locked as I kicked his jeans away from the bed. I held his gaze as I removed my camisole and watched his mouth open just by seeing my naked upper body. I got his left hand and made him follow me on the upper side of the bed. I laid down on the pillow and pulled him with me. 

I wrapped my legs around him and locked my arms around his neck, "I love you, Paul." Then I gave him a reassuring smile.

Paul growled and kissed me. His weight pinned me down then he rubbed his fullness on my covered front bottom, "Why did you leave my briefs on?" he complained, then he kneaded both my breasts. 

"My panties are still on too, baby," I reminded him. 

Paul grabbed my buttocks and kneaded them both as he kissed and licked my breasts. I whimpered and immediately covered my mouth because Timothy and his nanny were in the adjoining room. Paul removed my panties and I inserted my right hand in his briefs and massaged him. 

"Ahh…" Paul utterred then he watched what I was doing to him, "Let's get into it before I explode." He said, panting.  

I giggled with his comment, then his eyes widened when he said, "Shit I forgot to bring…" 

"On the dresser in my make-up pouch," I finished his sentence for him. 

"Do we really need it though?" Paul asked as he got the condom from my pouch. 

"Are you ready for another Timothy?" I returned his question. 

He shook his head, "I want you for myself for the meantime, Nat." 

"Same," I said, then I wrapped my arms around his neck again.