21. What's Love Got To Do With It?

About two weeks ago, when I'd been in Utah, Samuel had been in the house and told me the news I hadn't prepared for. I was in the medbay when he'd gone through me again, examined the results with a frown, then called Damon and went to talk in another room. He came out with a blood bag.

He sat across from me and said, "We have now discovered since Damon became a vampire and started drinking from you, There is distinct vampire DNA in your genes. You had earlier just a few vampiric genes but your evolution is going on. And the quantity has increased to the extent that you are now classified as a hybrid. You are a vampire enough that you need to start drinking blood. Damon can't get in here now. He would have been best for this, but probably when I open this bag, your teeth will come out, and you'll get a bloodlust."

He paused for a while and I was flabbergasted, fully so. He continued to explain.

"You're still a weak vampire, so your blood lust is mild, and you don't need that much blood, but as you're evolving all the time. Damon and I have found that your DNA is changing all the time, slowly, and this vampire side is the first obvious change. We've been watching it since the first signs of vampire DNA came into your blood, just in case it was a reaction to Damon, your biological half, drinking from you, but your vampire DNA is your own, not Damon's."

I was silent and pretty fucking shocked. I didn't want to become a vampire, so I had nothing against vampires, but I knew how intense they were, and with my rage, well, this should be interesting. 

Samuel said, "So we will do this with a few precautions. Put your hands on the armrests to ensure you don't attack me. "

I nodded and said, " This is not what I want, but my body and my fate have decided otherwise. By the way, I know there are prophecies about me, Reddington told me, but I won't go into them now other than it mentioned that the family might attack me. Magnum said that Nick and Elias are related to me. He suspects they might hurt me somewhere in between."

Samuel stiffened and then said gently, " There have always been prophecies, and Magnum is right; they are related to you but extremely distant, and then always and forever doesn't work. But now, I'm opening this bag." 

My hands were in shackles, and I suddenly wanted him to open the bag, for me to smell, to taste the blood.

A gentle woman's voice in my head said, "Take it easy. The first blood is pretty tough, but I'll help. My name is Mirella, and I am your vampire helper. "

Samuel opened the bag, and the blood was all I wanted; I felt my fangs in my mouth, and I was drooling at the mouth of the blood; I didn't even realize what sound I was making. I was growling. I was grunting.

Samuel said, "Take it easy. I will give you this tube, and you can drink it. Take it easy. This will help."

He put the tube in my mouth, and I started to suck. Nothing has ever tasted as good as that blood, I sucked as fast as I could, and when the bag was empty, I calmed down; I felt very good, a pleasurable euphoric feeling.

Mirella said in my head, " Well, that helped. It will help for a while, and I will let you know when you need blood. I'll start building you a molecular stockpile, so I'll take all the extra molecules and put them in the stockpile, and then you can make substances." 

Fine. Samuel untied me, and I rested in a chair for a while; I felt so perfect. But then I got up and went to eat to get on with the gigs. Mirella told me all the little things over the next couple of weeks, I adjusted to the fact that I was a hybrid, that I was still pretty damn fickle, and she also taught me what the initial symptoms of bloodlust felt like. I found I needed little blood once the feeling disappeared completely.

I hadn't seen Damon since this thing, and I was interested to see how our arousal and oral sex and so on would go; it could be that this was required to go all the way. Mirella had hinted at it a bit. Mirella was a blonde-haired woman; her appearance in my mind seemed to vary, and she was actually sleeping in a coffin; she told me she was old. She had existed but was dead, and this was a bit like Mercy going up to another level, but vampires got into the minds of other vampires to be advisors and mentors. 

This added spice to the gigs because my vampirism made me look even sexier, increased my sex appeal, and made it easier to get the victims to come with me. It also gave me new instincts, instincts to dominate my victims, to enjoy having power over them, to enjoy having the power to decide their life and death.

I didn't give in to all these instincts and kept myself firmly in control even though Mirella tried to get me to accept myself. I didn't want to lose my humanity. Mirella also told me how a vampire can turn off his humanity, turn it off, and then all those instincts and emotions are just what's there.

A vampire without humanity doesn't feel. It just is. But there are no actual emotions at play because it turns off all the feelings, and then the way to get the vampire's humanity back on is to force them to physically feel something hard enough that it throws the switch back on. 

Mirella told me everything, and I'd be at the diner in the morning, done the gigs all night, and after I'd eaten, I'd go back to the hotel, clean my guns, take a shower, and sleep for a while, and then I'd go on. That was the rhythm of how I did gigs. This was my first official gigging run, and it was starting to end. I had called earlier and told them I was coming to Ohio, and now I was taking a little vacation. 

I had been doing other kinds of work as well. I was a sharpshooter. And I was good at it. There was more money in those jobs, but they were less frequent. Adam had initially taught me to be a sniper, and I had then been an apprentice to one of his army guys for a few days.

I'd also read the manuals on rifles and all that; the photographic memory helped, and it was an excellent job but slow, and you had to be patient, but my vampire side appreciated the power I had over the victim again. 

 Plus, once my vampire side had come out, and I had this assistant vampire spirit, her name was Mirella, I was now in need of blood. I drank little, and I drank human blood, half a bag, maybe once a month; I was far from a full vampire. I felt the first symptoms of bloodlust and was satisfied that I would make it to the house to drink blood. A couple of decilitres a couple of times a month wasn't bad, although Mirella warned me that the amount would increase.

My teeth were small and pink. I had to have a personality in every aspect of my life. Most of the money I made went directly into equipment. I was a sharpshooter and was good, so I got as good guns as possible. If I got good money from a job, I could spend it on a new scope that gave me an advantage.

Damon could have thought of a better use for my money and even tried to suggest a joint account, but I refused. Another thing we argued about. I hadn't seen Damon since Mirella had woken up, and I had drunk blood. I had worked hard on this first streak and had money saved up; I didn't want to share an account with Damon because I knew he was very controlling, and it could become quite a problem if he didn't let me spend my money where I wanted or if he spent it where he wanted.

I finally registered my last victim, cleared, and returned to the hotel. Now, I didn't go to the diner for food but waited until the house. I really wanted a vacation now. This had been my very first time gigging, and I had gotten my motorcycle license when I started gigging; there would be no rush to obtain a permit, and it could take six months to a year. Adam was organizing the thing every time he remembered.

I packed my bags and checked out. It would take a couple of hours to drive, anyway. But soon, I'd be home; I hoped to see Damon and show him my pink fangs. I didn't think I could drink his blood, but still. The full moon was coming, so my longing for my half grew again.

I got my bag packed and on my motorcycle and was happy. I was in no hurry to get my American driver's license, and this was a good ride. I wasn't afraid of helmet hair. I put my helmet on and started my bike. I set out for a ride in the morning.

I would be there may be 11-12 a.m. The ride went well, and I was already planning everything I could do. I finally arrived at the house. I saw that at least Adam, Damon, and Bran were there. I wasn't sure about Samuel because sometimes he had a ride and drove himself.

The house in Ohio was an old mansion with four floors and many rooms. Downstairs was the ballroom, which had been converted into a living room. I had been here once before with Damon while doing this gig in the early days.

Our bedroom was on the top floor, but you could see directly into the downstairs hall from the upstairs corridor. There was even a lift in the house if you couldn't be bothered to walk up the stairs.

The stairs were quite long, steep, straight stairs. They were not as gracefully curved as the Chicago house or the cozy country stairs like in Arizona. These were straight and steep, the wide railing was wood, and I appreciated the elevator because the stairs were so steep that they exceeded even my fitness level.

I took my bike to the garage and locked it. Damon had been in our pack for about two years now. Our relationship had developed slowly but surely. Sometimes Damon could get on my nerves, hanging on to me and asking almost manically, "What are we doing now, Baby? What are you doing now, Baby?"

I don't know what the hell that was all about, but the game's name was to get me to stop doing whatever I was doing, usually cooking or baking. And then, when he called me to stop, he might leave and talk on the phone for a long time, and when he came back, he could be cold and distant.

Sometimes, when the Lord willed, he would seduce, and oh boy, did he. We had already progressed to bed and oral sex, and oh my God, it could be pleasurable. Both of us were now always wild, horny, but we controlled ourselves, Damon said, to know when the time was right.

 I wondered if Damon was waiting for me to get my vampire side before we went all the way. I wondered a couple of times if Adam or even Bran would be any good at it. In bed, that is. Adam can kiss. He's gorgeous, he's well endowed, he's an alpha. Bran, on the other hand, I'd never actually seen him naked, so I don't know anything about him. He didn't actually move with the same beastliness as the others but he was very human, part of his disguise.

Sometimes, Damon again was distant and didn't care to be touched or touched. He would get upset and fuck with me at my gigs. He could even sleep in another room. This had been going on since before I started doing gigs. He claimed he was on the phone all night and didn't have to be a sleep toy for me. He could be very nasty about his mouth sometimes, and I was learning to be just as fucked up.

I could swear that sometimes he looked at me like a scientist looking at a bug for a moment before squashing it. Now I was ready for the charm, even the manic hanging out because I wanted Damon near me. I grabbed my bag and went from the garage to the kitchen and from there to the elevator.

Adam came into the kitchen and was clearly surprised and amazed, and somehow, he didn't want me to be home.

"Oh hey, you're home already." He said, surprised.

"Yeah, I called last week and said I was coming, and I left a message yesterday. Shouldn't be that big of a surprise," I replied.

I was really surprised.

Adam said, " Oh, I must not have checked my messages then, and I thought you were enjoying the gigs." 

I said, " Yeah, now I want a holiday, I saw Damon's car, and I want to show him my fangs, and I also need blood."

Adam looked at me and said, " Damon is busy; I'm not sure if he has time for you; damn, I missed your message. Well, you're here now." 

Adam nodded and walked towards the living room. I went to the elevator and thought about the conversation. As if he wasn't expecting me home, and now my presence here would ruin something? I took the bags to our room and unpacked them. Now I wouldn't need suitcases for a while as I could be at home and in peace.

I put the dirty laundry in the laundry chute, the guns in the gun cabinet, and the rest of the gear in its place. I took a shower and washed the sweat, gunpowder, and hotel smell off myself. Then I smelled a faint, burning candle and wondered if I had just smelled my bloodlust. But the smell was so mild that I wasn't at all sure.

I was really waiting for Damon. He could probably advise me on a little bit of everything, and this vampire thing wouldn't always feel so desperate. I mean, sure, Mirella helped, but Damon was my protection, my confidant.

After my shower, I changed into a T-shirt and jeans. I had been to the hairdresser to have my hair bleached and shortened so it was easier to manage. I just put it on my ponytail.

I was just leaving the room when I almost bumped into Damon.

"Oh baby, you're home." He said, surprised too.

He was not happy to see me. I got the same guilty feeling from him that I had gotten from Adam, and now I didn't understand at all.

" Yeah, yeah, yeah. What on earth is so strange about my coming? Am I messing up someone's plan, or what? Why are you feeling guilty, and you obviously don't want me here?"

Damon watched for a moment and then turned around and headed downstairs. He didn't say a word, leaving only a faint whiff of passionfruit as the door slammed shut. This encounter didn't go the way it was supposed to. My bloodlust made me even more nervous. It made me more suspicious and even cranky.

I left the room and thought I'd ask Adam about it and see what the fuck was going on I walked into the hallway, heard voices downstairs and looked down. Bran and Samuel were carrying boxes and unloading them onto tables. Bottles. Wine.

Adam went to open the side door, and in came the caterers, unloading small snacks, bowls, and booze onto the tables. After watching for a while, I went to the elevator and downstairs. They were having some fucking party here, and apparently, I wasn't supposed to know about it. The caterers had just left.

"Is there a party going on or what?" I asked Bran who was arranging the booze.

He was wearing a button down shirt, light green with a couple of buttons undone, his chest showing a bit, he was wearing blue jeans, loose even.

Bran flinched. He, too, looked guilty;

He said," Yeah, but maybe not the kind where you have fun; you're not used to our werewolf male parties, little girl. How come you're already home?"

I said, " I called you a week ago and told you I was coming to the house soon, and I was taking a vacation. Reddington tried to push more, but I refused. I've been earning quite a bit now, and I'm not in the mood to work all the time, so I thought I'd come home and relax. To be with Damon, if he's home. "

Bran looked guilty. Oh, Reddington had gotten a proposition from Bran to push me for more gigs. Oh, that sort of thing. I wanted to see what was being kept from me. What's so terrible about this party that I can't find out about it? And why hadn't anyone said don't come? We've got our own thing here. 

"I see," I said. "I'm going to dinner now, and don't worry, I won't disturb your party. I'll go up after I've eaten. Of course, if someone had said you had your own plans, I wouldn't have come, as this is clearly something everyone feels guilty about."

And so I did. I went out to dinner and ate well; I wasn't in the best of shape as the gig took energy, time and the diner food wasn't made by Damon. When I got my stomach full I took the lift back upstairs. First, I cleaned up, checked my guns and other gear, and then painted my nails. 

Damon came into the room. "Those parties are going to be pretty wild. Just a word of warning," he said.

He went to the wardrobe, picked up a black silk shirt, and pulled it on. It was one of my favorite shirts and looked really good on Damon. He rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. He also looked incredibly hot. I'd been having more and more thoughts like this lately, and I wondered if I was finally getting my heat on.

"Then I want to talk to you about a few things, and this vampire thing is still pretty new to me, so maybe you can help with that," I said to Damon.

I think it would be polite to warn him if I was about to get horny. The last thing I wanted to do was force someone to deal with my first heat. I wanted whoever would handle it to be aware and prepared. And when it came to what my vampire side would bring to it, I didn't know.

" Yeah Baby, then somewhere in between, sorry, I have to go now.", Damon said and looked at his phone.

He didn't even kiss, and he wasn't cranky; I could smell the passion fruit clearly.

He said, "I won't be up at night. The party could go on for quite a while."

Fine, let's be alone then. His phone rang a strange ringtone. I heard him answer and laughed as he went. 

I felt my bloodlust spurting again as the music started playing and talking. The party was going on. I was just wondering how things were going with Damon and me, how wild I'd be if he were teasing me now that I was a vampire, and the fact that he was also holding out that when we fucked it would be great, that was a real commitment to me, showed that he was ready to be with me. 

My blood lust was getting the better of me, so I should do something about it. I should get a blood bag from the basement and maybe drink half of it. Just enough to make this feeling go away. Well, I'd have time. The bloodlust brought on suspicion, and I also felt that all my emotions were stronger than before.

I decided to wait a while before going to look for blood, then remembered there were probably some bags in one of the upstairs fridges reserved for Damon, so I thought I'd look there first so I wouldn't have to go all the way down to the basement.

I put everything away and packed my gig bag so I wouldn't have to pack the next time I went on a gig with my guns and clothes. I had a lot of clothes here so I got my bag packed; I knew Damon often did the same thing; he had his bag packed. I then got out of bed to get the fucking blood.

I started walking down the hallway, and there was music and talking laughter downstairs. At the same time, I found one of the shed blood bags in the room. I was pretty greedy when I drank and ate, so my blood-drinking was no exception. Mimosa was also now a vampire, and I got blood, too, when we were preying; Mimosa drank animal blood then. It was consumed by her.

It worked to some extent but the human blood made my need go away, this bag had been pretty skimpy. It wasn't quite enough, but it took the worst of it away, at some point I would have to refuel. I lazily walked down the hallway and watched the party. It was like another world. It was shocking, and then I witnessed why they didn't want me home.

 The hall was full of people, werewolves, vampires. I saw Nick, Elias, and Charles chatting and drinking booze. But it was what my pack did that made me snap.

Adam, Bran, and Samuel were all dressed casually. They were wearing button-down shirts, silk, partially open, enjoying themselves immensely and sitting in their chairs or on the sofa.

Each had a girl or woman on their lap. They all had their pants open and down. They fucked the girls in the middle of the party. The women were squirming, moving up and down as the men guided them from the hips, the women were more or less naked and I saw Adam nibbling on the breasts of the brunette he was holding.

But what clicked for me was that Damon was fucking too. He was sitting in his own chair with his pants clearly open and down, and the red-haired, big-breasted woman was rising and falling and panting against Damon.

Damon's shirt was open. His hands roamed the woman's breasts, back to hips. This was a human. Damon was talking low, sexy.

I could clearly hear, "oh, you are perfect. You are my ideal woman. Let me eat your breasts, lick your pussy and taste your blood. I love your red hair, and you are heaven to me. I have never met a better woman than you."

She looked at Damon and kissed him; she said, " Remember then, call me so we can do this the way we have been doing it, no strings, just sex just the way you want it." 

They went on, still getting hotter. Panting. Damon threw his head back in pleasure and closed his eyes.

This is why I shouldn't have come home. Because they're having an orgy. I wasn't disappointed or angry with Adam or Samuel, but Damon... The feeling inside me was almost too much.

I retreated to my room, and I was shocked, disappointed, sad. I mean, wow. And I, the crazy blue-eyed fool, thought Damon and I were doing fine. He was... would be faithful... Weren't we both supposed to wait? Apparently not and then he'd just lied all the time and about everything. The feeling was growing inside me. My bloodlust was racing. Even though I had just drunk blood. This was just too much for me.