21. Just Give Me A Reason.

I woke up in an animal print room. Damon was sitting next to me. I got my eyes open and was frankly pretty fucking amazed. About the whole fucking episode. It was pretty fuzzy in my head. My stomach, back, and even my ribs, not to mention my insides, were incredibly tender.

"Why on earth did you do that?" I asked.

I tried to move and groaned in pain. Damon put his hand on my chest, stopping me from moving too much. He looked at me for a long, inquiring look. I felt him in my mind, too. 

 Damon replied quietly, a small smile playing on his lips as he saw that Mimosa was awake, too. "It's reserved for my special ladies, that treatment. Not everyone gets it, darling. See, I'll teach you. Oh, you could withstand the strokes of an ordinary knife for hundreds. I couldn't stab you for that long, but a silver knife, not quite so mild. I'll show you how to be a good little lady. Remember, you're my vampire wife. Remember our wedding vows. Here, feel my pulse. Notice that our hearts are still beating at the same rate. "

He pressed my hand to his chest. I felt his pulse and felt my own as it throbbed with the wounds. They were exactly the same.

" Did you know, darling, that I missed you fiercely? You see, in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle and every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody you cared about used to be. I had a hole in my life, in my soul, and it wasn't the addiction that did it. It was the fact that I no longer had a connection with you. Our true soulmate bond was torn apart, and it left my soul broken. I used the relief of the vampire potion to stop myself from feeling it. And at the same time, I knew you felt it just as strongly, but when I screw up, I just get the feeling that let it go. I'm too far gone. I have no salvation."

I nodded and said, " The apology could be a little less piercing."

Damon laughed, " Darling, it wasn't an apology. It was a lesson in how I felt about you being Adam's mate, regardless of the circumstances. Actions and consequences. Even if Adam was the perfect man for you, darling, I'm going to win you back. But first, Brianna needs to be taken care of. Now, shush, darling. There's a dose of a very, very strong tranquilizer in this syringe that I'm about to give you. Your stomach is bandaged, but I've put my blood in it, so when you wake up, your stomach will be fine. And you remember your lesson. You're allowed to have sex with Adam for now. Just try to be a little less public. I don't like the fact that you have a mating bond, not at all, as you know from your lessons now, but it's good that you're keeping the momentum going. I helped Mimosa, so she should be able to keep those visions in place, but baby, pregnant, and many..."

Damon's voice was almost dreamy; he said, " And as Mimosa asked, I'll remove those visions for you. You are not supposed to see them."

I sighed and asked Damon, "What about Brianna? Don't you want to train Brianna?"

Damon looked at me curiously. "No, this is reserved for special cases only for those who deserve my attention. I can tell Bran is paying for his antics, literally. He's the one who tricked me into this, really tricked me. But don't you worry about that whore, she'll get what's coming to her. Whether it's by my hand or Adam's. But now, sleepy time, darling, once more."

Damon slipped the needle into my vein, and my last memory was of his lips on my forehead.

I woke up in the same room, alone. And I couldn't remember the visions. I just wondered if Damon had looked through them then, and somehow, I knew that some parts of them might have been very disturbing, even though I remembered nothing about what was inside me.

I sat up, my head still pounding even though I had slept for 24 hours, as I looked at my phone on the clock. I got up eventually. Then I went to the toilet. I opened the bandage on my stomach, and it was intact. I was really sore still from actually being in a stabbing session, but it was intact.

I put the bandage in the trash and went to the shower. I washed really well and tried to get some grip on Damon with my pretender ability, but got nothing. Well, I should call Jarod. He's more experienced at this than I am. Mimosa was still asleep.

Apparently, Damon's anesthetic worked on her, too. I got dressed after I had finished drying my long red hair and just put it in a bun. I then headed downstairs. I did not know if Adam was ok. I had noticed in the shower, though, that every scar I had was gone—weird bastard.

I was still thinking about our conversation as I slowly descended the stairs, and now I knew nothing about the future. Where would this flow take you this time? Yes, my life was full of surprises and a hell of a lot of them.

I descended the last few stairs, my footsteps echoing on the parquet floor as my fuzzy slippers hit it. I walked into the kitchen. This was our home and smelled the coffee. Adam must be awake then.

I arrived in the kitchen. There was only one pot of coffee brewed, which was half empty already, and Adam was sitting at the table eating hash browns, sausage, bacon, and eggs. I made a couple of pots of coffee for myself and then went to the fridge to see what I would have; there was a tray of smoothies with my name on them, Damon's handwriting. Oh, that sort of thing.

Sitting at the end of the table was a very irritated Adam.

"Morning, Adam. " I said.

Adam just grunted in response. He read his paper as I put my coffee and breakfast in place. I filled the thermos with coffee. I brought it to the table, and Adam took his cup, filling it with fresh coffee. I had already put the sugar in the coffee, so I didn't have to play with it as we both drank the sugary coffee. Cream was at the table, and it was a rare sight to see, but I saw Adam pouring cream into his coffee, too. 

I took a couple of thick beef steaks and went to fry them up for myself and a gigantic pile of pork sides. I didn't have to eat smoked bacon as I could have just plain pork sides. I had made myself some sourdough bread, cut a few slices, and then drained all the fat from the frying, both beef and pork sides, onto the pieces of bread. I had invented little treats like this for myself. 

When I had finished cooking my meal, I took a bottle of Coca-Cola, a glass, and my food; I went to the table to eat. I didn't know why Adam was so irritable and didn't ask. I let him finish reading his paper while I thought about what to do on top of the food. I was awakened from my thoughts when suddenly Adam spoke. I hadn't realized he had finished reading his paper.

"Why on earth did Salvatore? Apparently, it was Salvatore who decided that I had to sleep three days straight?" Adam asked abruptly.

I looked over at Adam. I was silent, as I didn't know if I should say what he did to me. I couldn't tell Adam's reaction at all; my stomach was still very sore, so I didn't eat myself as full as I could.

 Adam asked, " Apparently, he did something to you? What?"

He looked at me sternly in a way that I had no choice but to answer. 

I replied quietly, " Drugged and stabbed until I blacked out. It was a lesson in having a mating bond with you. He took the demon blades off and likewise removed all my scars. There was fear and horror, but I was not traumatized. He soothed me and stabbed me at the same time while I was conscious. He slit my throat. Then he delivered me to my bed with my stomach tied up and his blood on it to make it better, and then he put me under anesthetic for 24 hours. Delivered me to the animal print room and didn't like his wife, said the whore would get exactly what she deserved whether it was at your hands or his, so obviously knows about the elder's assassination attempt."

Adam said, "As I told you earlier, it is Salvatore's idea of a whole damn assassination."

I raised my eyebrows. Then I remembered our conversation in the car where Adam had told me this earlier. Well, it does kinda mess with your memory when you get fucking potent drugs and a telepath to mess with your head, so I'm not surprised I was a little slow.

I said, "Yeah. I'm kinda slow here. Sorry about that." 

Adam growled. "Vampire politics, don't you worry about it."

Adam looked at me for a moment, stood up, and lifted my shirt. Then he pressed on, and I gasped.

"Yeah, I remember we talked about it in the car. I guess I'm still on the meds. Fucking Salvatore stuffed them into every organ in my body and poured a lot down my abdominal cavity and then rubbed. My stomach is fine. It's still incredibly sore. It's really like someone's beaten the shit out of it. But as you can see, otherwise fine."

I finished eating, then went into our master bedroom and found it had been redecorated, the bed had been moved, and the bedclothes had changed. Oh, fuck. Neither of us understood the entire episode, not even the beginning. Adam looked at the master bedroom for a moment, snuggled up to me, and nudged my mark. Then his phone rang. It was Bran. Adam cursed softly and went elsewhere to talk to Bran. 

Adam had to do a few gigs for Bran before he would give permission to destroy Brianna. So Adam had to go to Nevada, and I was left on my own.

There was still work to be done around here, so I kept doing gigs for a couple of days, and whenever I came across a suitable fight club, I would go to one of those, too. Samuel came back to the house, and he was always there to meet me when I came back from the club.

He had a new instant scanner, which took 15 minutes, and it was almost like an MRI, some new technology. I did gigs for a week. I had time to go to four clubs before Adam came back to the house.

I had decompressed nicely, too, not eating any split demons but everything else, too. I had found my new favorite meal. Energy wizards or witches. Those gave such a kick that I felt like it ran pure electricity in my veins for hours after the meal.

 Bran had given Adam permission to destroy Brianna, and Adam had woken up to find a copy of Brianna's calendar on his pillow. Apparently, Salvatore wanted to be a widower.

Now that I had some free time, I had done all the gigs here, and the clubs were pretty well rammed, so I called Jarod and told him the whole thing again.

I said, "When I can't get into his head, I can't get into his head, and I don't understand why. You are more experienced, so what do you get out of it?"

 Jarod questioned me for a while.

I could hear the apparent frustration in his voice when he finally said to me, " I guess now Salvatore is such a special case that even I can't get inside his head yet; I can't see either."

I had the same problem. We, pretenders, could expect how someone would act in a situation when we'd had enough to observe. But Damon, at no point had I ever had that feeling.

Adam. To some extent, Adam was understandable, and I could expect what Adam would or wouldn't do. We then talked about everything else, and I hung up after three hours.

We had tried to still get into the mind of Salvatore, but not getting anything. Neither of us could get a clear read, and it was actually very frustrating. When I then went into the kitchen, Adam and Samuel were already there eating.

Adam said, " Well, now I'm free to plan that assassination, you missy; you're going as far away as you can. I know I could spend some time with you, but we'll get this over with. "

I nodded.

Samuel said, " And we also decided no fight clubs in Europe; it's a bit different there, and we're not there to help. Preferably, no gigs either. Just buy a new house somewhere."

I nodded again. I had calmed my nerves quite well with fight clubs, and Samuel's idea of a new house wasn't bad after all. My inner killer was quite calm as well. I had had my enjoyment, and I was maybe slowly trying to learn to live with that side of me, too. It would take time. Something in me still shuddered every time I felt that pure enjoyment of killing, of taking a life. I had tried to believe that was just feeling of when I won, but it was.

 Adam started planning an assassination, and we decided I would go as far away from the job as possible. Tomorrow, at the latest, I will leave for Europe. I hadn't decided where I was going yet, but Europe was calling.