Chapter 4: In the world of magic without magic

The world of Exodius, it was the name of the world I lived in, the world where everyone has the ability to sense and utilize the ethereal energy permeating the environment, mana.

Mana is a wonderful energy to have in the environment; it enables us mortals to transcend our limits, gain superpowers, and potentially live eternally by pushing past our boundaries.

And, being able to utilize Mana to do everything above, was a dream of every creature here in Exodius, only if they could sense and utilize the mana in the surroundings for their own use.

And.....

Being born without the ability to even sense such wonderful energy felt like knowing about a vault containing unlimited riches but lacking the key to unlock it.

"It was truly heartbreaking, to say the very least."

Some faint-hearted individuals might even contemplate taking their own lives due to the extreme greed and agony of being unable to access the riches right in front of them. It was frustrating to even think about such a situation.

Now, think about having lived in a world where anything is possible with the help of mana but not being able to even sense this wonderful energy. 

"How cruel of a joke it would be?"

Just thinking about it makes anyone's heart cry in deep agony.

Yet I was living the cruel joke as I was born in the world of Exodius, a wonderful place with magic, but couldn't sense mana at all. I had the vault in front of me but not the key to obtain and utilize the riches inside it.

" Who are you?", you might have questions.

I'm the same mortal labor that had helped someone awaken their trait without even knowing about it. The transformation brought about by the given trait in just a few hours made me contemplate taking my own life for the second time.

I'm generally an optimistic person who tries and takes everything positively but the evolution brought by the freaking trait in just a few hours truly made me realize that maintaining a positive outlook in life doesn't shield us from the negativity that can arise when we see others succeed effortlessly.

"Man, Yesterday was a wild night."

I spent every single penny drowning myself in the most expensive booze, trying to suppress negative emotions that were swirling in my mind. I was trying to suppress the violent negative emotions and suicidal thoughts that had plagued me and were suppressed by me ever since I realized I couldn't sense the mana in my surroundings.

It was like the dam preventing the overflow of negative emotions was broken trying to sweep me in deep pain and anguish. I was remembering every pain, every scorn, and every moment of despair that had haunted me for several years after that fateful day.

My life wasn't all jolly and cheerful, even before that fateful day, I was an orphan abandoned in the outskirts of the forest surrounding the town of 'Lumia'. I was brought up in an orphanage where the only peaceful and truly good memories I had were of my fifth birthday.

 The orphanage had a tradition of celebrating each child's fifth birthday as a precursor to the awakening ceremony, an annual event reserved for children aged five and above. It was also the last time I had laughed without suppressing my heart for the first time.

I participated in the awakening ceremony when I turned six, my heart was feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. I was having such a rollercoaster of emotions because I had witnessed the supernatural abilities other children gained after awakening, fueling my anticipation. However, fate had different plans for me. I was the only child who failed to awaken and sense the mana that permeated the world, leaving me as a mortal unable to live as I wished.

I was despairing, crying in deep agony looking at the faces of other children who were able to awaken themselves, transcending the mortal limitations by sensing mana. The way their behavior changed was something I couldn't comprehend, but it hurt. It hurt so much that I had suicidal thoughts brewing in my mind for the very first time.

That same night, I left the orphanage. I couldn't bear witnessing the change in behavior from my friends, with whom I had shared my life until then. The mocking taunts, the way they alienated me, and the pitying looks from the caretakers were all too painful to endure.

 I roamed the streets, slept on footpaths, and ate whatever food was provided to me. It was in those moments of wandering that I was confronted with the world's underbelly, a facade of beauty masking depths of darkness, depravity, and the most despicable individuals I had ever encountered.

Thankfully, I didn't get consumed by all the darkness that I had witnessed, endured, and even been a part of. I clung to a simple hope, a flicker of light promising a chance at a normal life someday.

And so, I began training my mortal body, learning the art of combat through near-death experiences, and at the age of ten, I took up laborious work for dungeon raiding teams; collecting the monster cores, carrying supplies for the parties, doing menial and laborious tasks, listening to harsh words, facing cruelest punishments for simple errors.

"Sigh, Those were some of the darkest days of my life."

I have to thank those experiences for shaping me as I am today. I had learned to move on, never trying to get consumed by the negative emotions I had to bottle on myself, just because I couldn't sense mana.

But.....

Looking at the changes brought on a rookie yesterday, I couldn't force myself to accept the fact that all the near-death experiences that I had to face to become a person today were easily surpassed by someone awakening their trait in a mere two hours.

The realization that I was the one who helped him awaken his trait became the final blow that shattered the dam, unleashing all the negative emotions I had bottled up inside me.

_______________________________________________

Sigh, enough about past and negative emotions. I feel refreshed today, it might be because I had lashed out in one of the training grounds at the guild or due to the heavy amount of alcohol I consumed until I passed out yesterday.

I took a deep breath, looked at the little garden outside the window, and finally got off the bed. I didn't want yesterday's events to hamper my personal life, so I decided to move on, starting with a cold yet refreshing bath."

Drizzle.... Drizzle....

As the cold water from the shower cascaded over me, I let out a sigh of relief. The refreshing sensation helped clear my mind of the lingering thoughts from yesterday. It was like washing away the remnants of a storm, leaving behind a sense of calmness.

After bathing and getting dressed in some loose clothes, I went towards the kitchen to prepare some monster meat I had left in my storage.

I am a good chef if I have to rate my cooking skills; the barbecued monster meat was succulent with a great taste of spices, and the white bread enhanced the flavor, filling my stomach to the brim.

After fulfilling breakfast, I went outside, towards the garden, and began training my body with the equipment I had purchased from the guild. These pieces of equipment were equivalent to the cost of the small one-story house I had purchased on the outskirts of 'Silvus' town where I lived and worked. 

I decided to take leave from my job and enjoy the day, starting with simple training and then practicing the combat arts, which I fondly refer to as 'The Chaotic Art.' It may sound grandiose, but it encapsulates the essence of the chaotic life I once lived on the streets of 'Lumia' and the experiences I gained from battling through life.

I spent the rest of the day tending to the plants in the garden, talking with the neighbors who were surprised to see me in casual dress, and simply enjoying the day. I had a light lunch before I went towards the market to stock up on groceries as the storage was almost empty, with enough pantry to prepare dinner tonight.

It was already late night by the time I was ready to take a refreshing nap. As I settled into bed, thinking about my day today, reminiscing about the past, and hoping for the future.

The air seemed charged with otherworldly energy, tingling my senses with anticipation as if something fantastic was going to conspire today. Little did I know, this day would mark the start of my new journey, the one I had dreamed of in several sleepless nights.