14

It's been about 3 months since Connor has left, I haven't heard from him for my own safety. Ashley, Amelia and I were lodging back in the lounge chair by the pool on a warm summer day, Amelia asked

"Kay, when is Connor going to be back, kind of weird how he had to leave after you get married."

I sat up and pulled off my sunglasses

"It's weird hearing the word married."

Ashley sat up

"I agree with Amelia, what about your honeymoon? He didn't stay a night after; I'd be concerned honey."

I stretched to my feet

"I trust him you guys, he said it's to protect us."

Amelia smiled

"Must be nice having all these hot guys to protect you."

I stood up and tied up my hair

"I don't know why; I was protected when I got married according to Connor but he's freaking out about something now."

Joey and Lonnie ran outside

"Girls get in the house now!"

Ashley and Amelia stood up just as bullets started flying, hitting the concrete and flying into the pool. We ran inside; I grabbed Lily as quick as I could and put her in the bathroom where there was the basement. Amelia and Ashley stayed with her, I ran down the stairs just as Lonnie was shot in the shoulder from a bullet that came through a window. I fell to his side and put pressure on the wound, Joey yelled

"Kayla! Go! He's fine!"

My hands were covered in blood, I looked up at Joey and yelled

"No! I won't let him die!"

Just as I said that, I heard a familiar voice

"Kayla! Protect Lily! I got this!"

Connor fell to my side and held pressure to the wound as he ripped his shirt covered in blood; I stared at the blood dripping from the side of his ripped shirt. One of the girls, Bryanna from the gang ran to me and pulled me up away from them and up the stairs

"Kayla, don't! Connor has this!"

I got angry

"He's injured!"

She gave me a concerned look

"He'll get through it; we need to get you girls out of here before they make their way in."

I looked from the balcony at Connor; just then he got shot in his back and collapsed on Lonnie who was still fully alert. Lonnie managed to sit up and roll Connor over, blood was pouring from his mouth and nose; I struggled to go help him but Bryanna had a tight hold on my arm

"No! Connor!"

Tears fell from my face and I continued to fight to get to him; I wasn't going to watch him die. Joey ran to Connor and Lonnie; he snapped his fingers at Connor

"Man stay with me!"

A rival gang member walked in and Joey shot him in the head, making it blow all over the floor. You could see the skull split as the bullet shot through and he fell dead to the blood covered tile floor. I wanted to vomit, it made me sick watching; more of the Shadow's showed up and took care of the rest of the rivals. The best they could; it still wasn't safe in this house; they knew where we were now and we'd have to leave again. I finally got out of Bryanna's hold and ran to Connor

"Babe! Stay with us!"

He smiled with a bloody mouth and blood red teeth

"I love you, stay strong for me; I will fight through this for you girls."

I was in tears, covered in Lonnie's and Connor's blood; I called for help. Connor was in and out of consciousness; his eyes crossed every so often as he kept losing blood. I held pressure on his side wound as much as I could, then his eyes closed. I checked his pulse; I couldn't feel anything nothing. Derek and Tyler ran in with blood splattered on their shirts; Connor's dad not far behind

"Kayla, there's no time we need to go! Grab Lily! Now!"

I stood up slowly looking at Connor's lifeless body, I was numb; I couldn't get myself to move. Amelia, Ashley and Lily came down stairs; I didn't want Lily to see Connor like this so I had Amelia hold her and cover her eyes. Derek and Tyler pulled me away from Connor and outside to an all-black SUV with tinted windows. We got in and left the house leaving everything behind; as we drove I looked out the window trying to keep my head clear for Lily, I didn't want her to see me cry. Amelia grabbed my hand and rubbed it

"It's okay, we're here for you."

Derek looked into the mirror

"Kayla, I'm sorry."

I tried to ignore them and focused on staying strong for Lily but it was a lot harder then it seemed. A tear streamed down my face as I realized I never got to tell him my surprise. He was gone forever and never got to know he was going to be a father again to twins. That thought broke me and more tears fell on my lap. I quickly wiped them and brushed Lily's hair as she leaned on my side playing with her doll. After driving for hours, we arrived to another more secure house with extra guards and security. As I got out of the SUV, I felt nauseous and sick to my stomach; we went inside and Lily took a nap. I sat in the living room, thinking until Amelia came in

"It wasn't your fault Kayla, he died protecting you and Lily."

I looked up at her

"Amelia, I don't know if I can do this without him."

She sat down

"Of course you can, you're a strong girl."

I shook my head

"No I'm not, I feel weak and useless right now."

She frowned

"We all know how much he loved you and you loved him, it hurts to lose someone; I know."

I looked at her

"I never got to tell him..."

I paused, hesitating to tell her then said

"I'm pregnant with... twins."

She covered her mouth as her eyes teared up

"Honey, I'm so sorry."

I began to cry, the numbing was back and it got harder to breath, I stared at the floor with tears falling from my face; I just lost the love of my life after finally being able to be with him. I was torn and breaking apart piece by piece the more I thought about it. I realize the one who meant the most to me is gone forever and there no way of bringing him back. Rest in peace, Connor. Just know the four of us love you. Months have passed since Connor passed away, I didn't handle it very well; I became extremely depressed and distant from everyone except my daughter, Lilianna.

I'm now 6 months pregnant with twin girls, I plan on naming Arabella and Ana. I'm almost done with my 2-year associate's degree for nursing then I plan to take off to raise my girls; I try to avoid conversation about Connor as much as I can because hearing his name hurts more and opens more wounds. I struggled to stay sober for my daughters, it was a lot harder taking on the pain then just numbing it away. Connor's dad and I became closer and bonded more; I became friends with a lot of the gang but avoided being involved with it. I want to live a normal life now with no drama or threats but I'm still a target. Amelia and Ashley have been staying with me and helping out with Lily. Bryanna, Joey and Lonnie all got close to me and were always there for support and protection.

Lily and I were playing at the nearby park when I saw someone familiar, I ran to him

"I thought you were dead!"

Connor turned around with a smile

"I told you I'd fight; I couldn't leave you with our daughters."

I got angry

"Where the hell have you been the past 6 months."

He smirked

"Calm down my queen, I did it to protect you."

I tried to touch him to see if I was dreaming

"You're actually here."

He gave me a smile

"You stayed strong for me, I'm sorry I had to do that, just know I love you."

He began to fade into the air

"Connor! No don't go!"

I woke up in tears, I looked beside me on the bed. It was empty and hadn't been touched in months. I realized I was dreaming and began crying; Lonnie ran in

"Kayla! Is everything okay in here?"

I wiped my face and gathered myself together

"Yes just a bad dream."

Ashley came up behind him

"Kay! Let me through."

She pushed Lonnie aside and ran to my arms

"Honey it's okay, I'm here."

Lonnie left the doorway; Ashley sat on the bed

"Another dream?"

I sighed

"I can't stop dreaming about him, I miss him so much Ash."

She frowned

"Are you ready to go talk to him at his grave?"

I shook my head frantically

"No, I can't, I don't want to believe he's really gone."

She grabbed my hand

"Honey, he is but he's with you all the time."

I began to cry

"I never thought I'd lose him this early on."

She rubbed my hand

"Stress isn't good for Arabella and Ana, calm down."

I looked at the time

"Do any of you ever sleep?"

She stood up

"We take turns sleeping but I will let you go back to sleep."

I laid back down and closed my eyes; I couldn't sleep, I jumped up when I heard a noise; I looked at my side table at a picture of our wedding photo; I picked it up and smiled

"I miss you so much."

I stared at it as the memory of his proposal by the lake in Idaho came into my head. As he grabbed my hand, my heart began to race and when he kneeled it felt as if my heart had stopped by shock; I was happy to live in this moment of happiness. Until Joey standing in the hallway cut off the memory

"Can't sleep?"

I looked up at him

"I see him everywhere I go, but he's not really here."

He frowned

"We all miss him; he was a huge part of the gang."

It hit me again; the flashbacks began again, as Joey was talking about him I zoned out. I walked up to a group of guys and asked

"Do you know where room 205 is?"

He looked at me and threw me a look of hatred; who knew I'd love this jerk so much. All the times he called me princess to get to me; the argument I had with Devon about him. Joey snapped his fingers at me

"Kayla? Are you listening?"

I came back to reality

"Yeah; I might just go back to bed."

He gave me a smile

"You didn't hear me did you?"

I shook my head

"No, I dazed off again."

He frowned

"You guys went through a lot, I get it that you hurt. He snuck behind his dad for you too many times."

I traced his name in the blanket with my finger

"Did he... ever."

I paused

"Never mind."

He stood up

"Ask me anything you want to know."

I looked up at him

"How did he know I was a Diablo's daughter when we first met."

Joey sat back down

"Hasn't he told you?"

I nodded my head

"He has but..."

He cut me off

"You want to hear it from someone else? I get it."

I looked down

"I don't understand why he risked so much for me, I've just hurt him."

I looked beside me at the wedding photo, Joey sighed

"The whole plan from the beginning since you both were born were to get you married then Devon was born; the plan was messed up and your dad went with Devon's dad because he had more money than the Shadow's did at the time, then your dad slept with Connor's mom and it was war from there on. I know he loved you even when he couldn't have you."

I looked at him

"I'm not some prize, I'm a person... I would've chosen him even if my dad hadn't been killed."

He exhaled

"I'm sorry about that, seems like everyone has been taken away out of your life since you both got involved but don't blame Connor for it, he tried to avoid it."

I yawned

"I better get up, thank you for talking to me and trusting me."

He smiled

"Connor did, so I do too."

I placed the picture back on the nightstand

"Thanks Joey, don't let me keep you anymore."

He stood up and walked out of the room, I looked at the clock and laid down. Just as I was going to close my eyes, the sound of his voice came through my head and tears fell on my pillow, I saw a shadow coming from the window; I sat up and stared at it. I quickly turned as I heard a voice say my name

"You look more beautiful than ever."

Connor was standing at the end of the bed, I shouted at him

"This is a dream, I know it is or I'm losing my mind."

He laughed and looked down

"It can be whatever you want it to be babe."

I smacked my cheeks trying to wake up, he looked at me confused

"Don't hurt yourself, I'm here now. I told you I'd fight to stay here."

I rubbed my eyes

"I saw you in the casket, I saw them bury you!"

He frowned

"Guess my love is stronger than death then."

I heard my name come from the door, it was Amelia

"Kayla! Snap out of it."

I looked back where he was standing and nothing; I jumped out of bed

"I wasn't dreaming this time, Connor was right there!"

She hugged me

"Calm down, Connor is gone. You're tired and imagining things."

I fell on the bed in tears

"I saw him!"

She sat down and rubbed my shoulder

"You see him everywhere honey, he's not there like you want."

I broke down completely

"I want to see and hug him one more time, I don't know why he was taken."

She hugged me

"It hurts I know, he would want you to be strong; he left protecting you girls."

I wiped my eyes and got up angry

"I saw him Amelia, I'm not crazy or seeing things!"

I got up and walked out of the room; why don't they believe me? I'm not crazy am I? I need to get out of this house and get my mind focused on something other than Connor if I am just seeing things.