The End is A Starry Night

"Hey, how do you become a monster?", the little child in me didn't understand back then. So I held the book open in front of my father.

He muffled my hair, saying I was too young to read books like that.

"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster."

He repeated that line from the book.

"How? How does it happen?", I didn't even know what a monster was back then.

"Truth be told, son, I don't know that either", he reclined in his chair, "But there are things only people that have faced a monster know."

I wore the look of not having grasped a thing he said. For the child me back then, words alone were never enough. I had to have a feel for everything. If I read, I needed to know exactly what it meant, as if I was living it. And when I was told things like that, it didn't even cross me that there was a darkness lurking in them. Perhaps if I had waited a little longer and read the next line in the book, I would have stopped chasing the answer.

"Then think of it this way, if someday you look at yourself and no longer realize it, then you'll know that you've become a monster", at the end of the day, my father knew the curiosity in me. He didn't blanket the harsh truth with pretty words. He gave it to you just like that.

"Like when I grow up?", I still didn't understand at all.

"Perhaps so....perhaps...that is so, my son", my father closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the chair.

This was the sign for me that I should either stay silent so as to not even make a breathing sound or leave his study. I always chose the latter.

Helpless as the sky broke overhead, I wondered if my father was doing alright. He could be dead by now. And my brothers...I didn't have any idea where they all made off to. They probably found success, being sons of the Blackwell heir. But my father hadn't chosen a heir...or had he? Well, it didn't matter anymore. I bet he thought I was dead too. I told him I'd visit him often when I left for the capital.

Come to think of it, when we departed, he had that look in his eyes. Even when I said I'd visit him, he didn't even look me in the eye. I thought he just wasn't good at goodbyes. But perhaps...no, for sure, he didn't expect to hear from me again. He sent me off for good that day. Perhaps on another day, I would have found this realization sad, but now I was happy. At least, I said my goodbye to him when I did.

The fight was over. Chopper and Deli had pulled back. We were in the clear for now. And the meteor shower in the rest of the world meant nothing anymore. We'd realized that we couldn't save anyone. Not to mention, we were all exhausted. Only Sight was keeping his barrier up. But I knew it wouldn't go on much longer.

"Finally over...huh?", Chopper muttered, as he put a cigarette between his lips with shaking hands.

He was drained. Even though he had transformed back into a human, he was still half covered in dragon scales, that were falling out like a tree shedding its leaves in autumn. He had difficulty drawing his breath but still chose to smoke. It could be his last after all.

Deli was sitting beside Lubbock. Her head hung low and her arms limp beside her. She was bruised and battered all over. Her eyes had changed color to golden. Her fangs were bare, her skin deathly pale, she finally looked like a Vampire.

Grim stood by just like before, watching the void in silence. It was still distant and looked like a ring in the sky but it was definitely getting closer, faster than we expected.

"How long do you think we have, Chopper-san?", I asked, still thinking about my father.

"How long...? Just do what ya want right now. Who cares how long."

"You're right. But where to even begin?", I murmured.

"Oi oi, if its a confession, save it. I'd rather die without hearin' it."

I chuckled, "Well then, I guess I'll just have to thank you. Ah, and I have to ask, Chopper-san, did you ever regret losing your arm because of me?"

He let out a puff of smoke and let it dissipate.

"The hell are ya sayin'? Even if I did, it wouldn't make a difference now, would it? And besides, it was just the duty we took on years ago. If I'd lost my head instead, I wouldn't have regretted it. But if I'd let down Lady, that...now that would have been a problem."

"Duty?"

"Yeah. But never mind that now. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Yeah", my eyes averted to Deli who was as still as Lubbock, "Deli would never know either...would she?"

"Spare her the grief. We should die happy", Chopper replied.

I nodded.

"I'm going to a good place. I think I'll still get to be happy when this is all over", I told him, smiling softly.

He looked at me, smoking as vigorously as ever.

"Is that so?", he smiled vaguely too, "Good for you, kid."

"What's so good?", a voice broke behind us.

Her heavy steps approached us, as she heaved her body to make the distance. All our eyes went to her.

"About time, old hag", Chopper crushed his cigarette, "And whose shirt are ya wearin'? For goodness sake, yer one handful of a woman!"

"Shut it! Its just one shirt", she replied, before looking at me, "And you, Seraph. Aren't you in one hell of a hurry to go to a happy place. You aren't allowed to do that until I say so."

I don't know where she'd appeared from but she looked strange. For one, her signature fur coat was gone, she was wearing some really oversized clothes and she was certainly running short on blood. She'd gone really pale.

"Valhalla is safe. I made sure...the treasure stays safe."

Chopper stared at her emptily for a bit.

"Good job, hag."

She then looked over at Grim who was probably just smiling at her. She returned the gesture and walked on.

"Lady!", Deli stood in front of her, a broken look on her face.

Lady patted her shoulder and walked past Lubbock. Who knows where she was off to.

"Lady!", I called after her, "The hell are you doing?"

To be honest, I was shocked to see her here. I had almost forgotten that she was supposed to be around too.

"What only I can do", she answered and kept on walking.

I hurried towards her and grabbed her hand.

"Don't think about dying again!", I wasn't planning to let go.

She laughed, perhaps at the irony of what I was saying at a time like this. She then looked straight into my eyes.

"Don't worry. I've decided. I won't die. So, I'm going to stop that thing."

That was Lady, always following a tune of her own. When life was blooming all around the world, she madly chased after death and now when the world was dying, she decided to live.

"You aren't in any condition to do that", I tightened my grip around her wrist.

"My theory is, Seraph...", for once in her life, she was set on giving a detailed explanation of her thoughts. It certainly wasn't the time for that, though.

"...that if something is out to kill me, I just need to find something bigger that is trying to kill me. This way, I can...my body can grow stronger because of the bigger threat and defeat the smaller one. But once the smaller one is all patched up, I'd be at full strength and when that happens, the bigger threat", she pointed towards the ring in the sky, "is a piece of cake."

That was rich, coming from someone that couldn't even walk properly. All the same, she freed her hand and even mustered a smile.

"So that's it. Ain't that ingenious? Well, we're rooting for ya, hag!", Chopper said, casually.

"Right?", she beamed as if believing him.

Then she waved at us all and just walked on.

By now, Grim's expression was a little tense, although he showed none of it. The void too, was very close. It was like a very starry night. The meteors burning away, with the dark void in tow. And when you looked it long enough, you realized it was beautiful. Perhaps I thought so because near the end, you are able to find things beautiful. Or perhaps, that's just how the end is designed to be.

Either way, in that beautiful starry night, my gaze was fixed on the back of the lonely figure that walked on without looking back.