Mer and Rouge

"How many people do you think a person can kill in one day?"

That question was rather casually posed to me by the well dressed man sitting next to me. My glass of a weirdly tasting alcohol was way too warm now for me to drink it. On second thoughts, I was never planning to drink it anyway.

I looked stumped, staring at my glass, when he prompted me with this unexpected question. Seeing as I was at a loss and had no idea how to answer, he chuckled.

"Sorry, its just a myth I've been thinking about. When a person kills a lot of people in a single day, they become a Shura, a berserker in short. I wonder if it really is true. Though no one knows how many kills it takes to become a Shura. They don't have a reason to kill, the Shura, they simply become enraptured and go on a path of carnage and destruction. I haven't seen one yet, but I'd like to, someday. Though, I don't think they'd sit down for a peaceful chat", he chuckled again, chugging his drink.

"Don't soldiers kill dozens of people everyday? If it was true, Mercae would be filled with Shura by now", I answered.

"You make a point. Of course, I've thought about it. But I assume, there is a special method of killing, involving intent. Killing for the sake of killing, that's what a Shura does. They are enamored by the intrinsic pleasure the act of killing has. Soldiers have higher purpose, survival or perhaps patriotism. I don't think they are murder machines like a Shura."

"Is that what you teach about?", I asked, not intending to be snarky.

He chuckled again, a hearty man as he was.

"Among other things."

This man I was sitting with was someone I had met just today. Lubbock and I were returning from Agartha and had stayed at an inn in one of the bigger cities. That was when this man, too good looking for his age, came up to me.

"Excuse me", he had an enthusiastic pair of eyes, "Could I take a moment of yours?"

His blonde hair weren't without streaks of white but he carried his look very gracefully. He was dressed in a grey suit, and had a pleasant countenance. From the manner he carried himself around, I could tell he was a highly educated, sophisticated fellow. I always found myself a little uneasy around those elite types. If only I'd earned this trait from my father, I'd be well off in the real world.

"I couldn't help but notice the uncanny resemblance you have with Rouge Poisson", he seemed almost certain that I'd know this name.

In his so sure a face, I couldn't possibly deny the truth.

"Oh, did you know her by any chance?"

I was trying to avoid going into the details of my relation with her, if possible. After all, we had already booked us at the inn for the night. I'd have hated to leave just because I ran into someone so unexpected.

Poisson was my mother's maiden name. When she was a musical prodigy, she still hadn't married. So even though, she hadn't made her big break yet and was only known to a small circle of tasteful people, Rouge Poisson was how they remembered her. In a way, I was glad my father's name wasn't taken so freely everywhere.

"Indeed I did. But even if I didn't, she wasn't a face to forget."

Indeed, I had heard she was a woman with remarkable charm and beauty. But to be honest, I didn't remember her face. I only remembered the bitter woman she'd been that my father didn't fail to love. It was surprising that I looked so like her that someone like this man should recognize me.

"I was a friend of hers. I served at her family's house in her younger days. I daresay we grew up together. I teach at the University of Norn now. If you ever come by, do see me, I'd really like that."

The University of Norn wasn't so much a university as it was a school. Only the most elite ever stepped foot there. And only the greatest of sorcerers and gifted people ever managed to survive in Norn. I hadn't thought I'd ever run into a scholar like himself, but there we were.

I knew about him, the servant boy that served at my mother's family house. He was her aide, as was customary in her family. She was rather fond of him. My father told me that if not for his low social standing, and in contrast, my father's prestigious one, Rouge wouldn't have had to marry my father. I think she hated my father all the more because he was part of the reason she didn't get to be with her sweetheart.

My father hadn't pursued her. Theirs was a marriage beneficial to both families. Still, when her health went down in the dumps, he moved the family to the country, away from all the glorious hustle of his family. For her sake, he too lived out a life of a nobody. Even though she never recovered, a part of me thinks she plagued my father in incomprehensible ways too. Perhaps that's why, even though she was dead, he never returned.

Mer Claire, the man that went on even more enthusiastically after learning that I was staying the night, was on a journey to some ruins in the middle of nowhere. He did have a name for the place but I was too busy thinking of ways to shake him off.

"It might be the last place that can give us any answers now. But to be clear, I don't think this sky is caused by magic, at all."

He was talking about the red sky looming all over Mercae, or perhaps the world. I had forgotten when we went to Agartha, or Shamballa to be precise, but the red sky that had sprung upon us out of nowhere was still hanging overhead. It was darker than ever before. As if someone had murdered the stars and spilt their blood on the horizon. It reminded me of Wenus, though I avoided thinking about it.

"But forget my nonsense, young man, tell me about yourself. How is your father these days? I never got to see her kids when she was alive but looks like there's a plan for all of us. She was really private, your mother, she kept her family away from everyone. I hadn't met her for years when she died. I devoted myself to this pursuit of magic and got into Norn, but...it still feels like a loss."

He was rambling on and on, and with every passing second I hated him more. The fact that he was such an unhateable person made me hate him even more. Lubbock had left early on and was no where to be seen now. I decided to excuse myself and go to sleep.

"It was nice meeting you, Mr. Claire, but I hope you would excuse me now. I think I'd like to retire for the night", I began to get up.

"Surely, pardon my ramblings", he said.

I freed the chair and began to walk away.

"You would forgive me, young man", he said before I left, in his drunken stupor perhaps", It's just that, looking at you I'm not sure if, even a Norn man, have I lived a successful life? No, it is filled with regret, now more so than ever. I do realize that regretting your fate is the deed of a fool though. Perhaps, I am...a fool."

If only he hadn't known me, I wished so more than anything right then. If only he hadn't run into me, if only he hadn't recognized me. I walked away in silence, distancing myself from him as quickly as I could.

I hurried to our shared room, Lubbock's and mine, and fell flat on one of the warm beds. The bed was heavenly, and I was exhausted. But I couldn't help thinking about everything. When Lubbock finally came back at some late hour, I was still awake and the lamps still burning.

"Why aren't you off?", Lubbock frowned before diving into his bed, "We'll kill him tomorrow."

"Kill who?"

"The professor."

I sat up in my bed and turned to him with a stupefied look.

"What?"

"Well, he knows you, doesn't he? And now he knows you're alive. So...you can't be back to Valkyrie status unless you're dead."

"What...? Lubbock, what are you talking about?"

"What's with the stupid look? Didn't you know we're all supposed to be dead? That means that everyone that knows us knows we are dead."

"Everyone...?"

"Yes, everyone. Your father too and the rest of your family, whoever that is."

I hadn't realized until then that I was dead. I could never go home at this rate, could I?

"We'll kill him before he leaves town", Lubbock declared before he rolled over and blew out the lamp.

If only I hadn't met him...Now there was going to be more innocent blood on my head. Why was the world so intent on making me a monster? Why, for some insignificant man, did I have to become this? There was no way this was fair. I wondered then, if it hadn't been okay to remain powerless, to remain human.

In the end, I didn't sleep a wink that night.