Chapter 11: A beginning of something better

"Care to repeat that darling? I must have misheard you." Yukino calmly said while she laid beside me, staring at me with dead eyes. I feel a chill run up my spine and to the rest of my body. In the past this intimidation would have been enough to subdue me, but now...

"I want to pursue a genuine relationship with all of you." I firmly state as I stare back into her lifeless eyes...and to think she constantly berates me for my so called dead fish eyes.

"Perhaps you aren't familiar with social cues darling, see when I told you I misheard you I actually did hear you and was simply giving you a chance to retract that foolish remark."

"I'm aware. I won't." I correct her on both accounts.

"Then perhaps you misunderstood my reluctant acceptance of your feelings for those...distractions for permission to mistreat me?" I notice the pure venom behind the word distraction, as if she wanted to call them something far worse.

"I never said anything about mistreating you, and I never intend to."

"Ah of course, you just want to shatter me completely by sleeping around...never mind my feelings of course it's fine because you don't intend to mistreat me."

"You know it's not that simple Yukino." I ignore the pang of guilt as I can see how it would be possible to jump to the conclusion that I'm simply toying with her to live some playboy fantasy.

"Isn't it!?" She yells, a far cry from her chilling calm before. "Am I supposed to just sit back while you, the only love of my life, discards me for someone else? Did you expect me to support you or cheer you on as you give away your love to someone else? Tell me darling, what am I missing? What am I not understanding, what's so complex about you not loving me enough to be mine and mine alone?" Piece by piece during her questions life does return to her eyes, growing damp and puffy.

I hate it, hate knowing that I'm hurting her like this...hate that I'm giving her every reason for her to doubt the fact that I love her. However I knew this all along...knew that this wouldn't be easy. I told her long ago that no matter how much we have to struggle and writhe I want to find that genuine thing, and it's time to prove it.

I reach out to cusp her face, she quickly bats it away as she stares at me with fire in her eyes. I give a weak smile before I try again, this times she only glares at my approaching hand as it rests gently against her cheek.

"Don't think you can placate me with a few soft touches an-" She begins to snap but I quickly move forward and capture her lips to silence her. I feel her jolt but she makes no move to shove me away so I remain there giving her a chaste kiss for a few seconds before pulling back.

"Idiot." I say gently.

I see impending death before me so I quickly move to grab her hands, interlocking my fingers with hers...a comforting motion as well as a life saving one. "You can doubt my intentions if you want, honestly I understand why you do." I scoot a bit closer to her. "You can even hate me for being a no good piece of shit playboy if that's what you want, I wouldn't blame you." I bring myself closer until I'm fully pressed against her. "The one thing I can't accept however..." I slowly press my lips against her forehead. "is you thinking I don't love you."

"But-" She attempts to retaliate, but I continue.

"But I love Yui and Iroha as well." I feel her fingers tense up and I briefly worry about the state of my own fingers, but those aren't important right now. "It's unfair and you have every right to hate me for it but the truth is you fell in love with a no good idiot who wants it all, the perfect world where no one gets left behind. I want to return the love you have for me, I want your friendship with Yui and Iroha to survive, I want to avoid hurting them...I just want it all."

"D-Don't assume that those two mean anything to me anymo-"

"Don't lie to me Yukino. You always did a good job of hiding it but you cherish your friendship with them don't you?" I think a for a bit. "Well at the very lest Yui."

A small chuckle comes from her, which I take as a start. "At the very least Yui…but I'm more than willing to throw it all away if I can have you. You don't need to worry about them...it can just be us darling." She relaxes into me.

"Could it? Do you think they'd just sit back and allow it...would you if I was to pick one of them?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"I..."

"You wouldn't, and neither would they." I give another quick peck before I lay back a bit. "But that's besides the point, I'm not doing this because they would be...opposed to a relationship between us. I'm doing it because I want to, necessity and logic be damned."

Yukino lays in silence for a bit staring at me, not the lifeless stare as before but still unnerving in it's own right. "Because you want something genuine with all of us...and leaving any of us behind-"

"Isn't what I truly want."

"And we're...I'm supposed to be perfectly content with some dream world like those in the trash you read?"

"Perfectly content is off the table for all of us to begin with, I think deep down we all knew that and were just putting it off...keeping up the status quo." I sigh as I think back to all the wasted time, when the three of danced around the obvious issue of the future by keeping up some half-assed illusion that we could just keep going on...before Iroha came in and dispelled it in her own way. "Yukino...I'm not saying it's going to be perfect, it probably won't even be good, but I'm willing to-

"Struggle and writhe for it..." She finishes my sentence for me. "You really are the worst type of man." She says with a sigh.

I lay in silence for a bit before smirking. "And the three of you really are the worst type of woman, guess we deserve each other."

She grumbles a bit as she turns over, turning her back towards me. "You truly know how to frustrate me like nothing or no one else, do you know that?"

"I do, I'm actually quite proud of the fact." I chuckle as I move forward again, pressing my body against hers in a soft embrace. "I know you're tired Yukino, but if you can tell me what you think I'd have a much easier time falling asleep."

She sighs. "I think you and me are going to have to talk to Yui first thing tomorrow."

"So that means..."

"Tomorrow dear." She interrupts.

I take that as a sign to stop talking and that she's at least considering it, the best I can really hope for. While Yukino being at the very least amicable is a huge weight off my shoulders there's still the matter of how Yui will take the idea...or even worse Iroha. I can still vividly call Iroha explicitly stating that she had no intentions to share me what so ever and being accusatory about that being why I tried to hide our relationship...guess she really wasn't that far off.

"Are you upset because I took away your chance to play the field? Did you think you could keep building a romantic relationship with those two? Did you think I would share?"

Yeah, that doesn't really leave a lot of room for interpretation.

Yukino leans further back into me, getting more comfortable, with a content sigh and I find myself not really caring about the what ifs and maybes, I'll let the me of tomorrow handle the problems of tomorrow.

Yesterday me was a jerk.

Well maybe I should cut the guy some slack, he probably thought I'd have time to think things out or clear some things out with Yukino before heading straight into the fire.

On the other hand maybe that guy should have known better, that I'd be waken up far earlier than I should be on my off day by Yukino, who of course would tell me that we would be heading to Yui's house immediately.

Maybe if that guy had the foresight I wouldn't find myself here at Yui's front door sweating bullets after knocking...just maybe.

"Calm down dear." Yukino said with a voice that had absolutely no softness or any other calming factor to it as she stood by me holding my hand.

"L-Look Yukino, can't we be a bit more tactful about this?"

"Depends, how would you go about that?"

"Well maybe put off holding hands for just a bit?"

"Absolutely not."

"Come on Yukino, we don't have to rub things in her face do we?"

"It's not about that, before we move on with your little harem dream we need to let her know where you and me stand."

I stare at her wordlessly.

"...But yes, I will enjoy her reaction." She admits with a small smirk.

I hear the sound of footsteps and tense up a bit, I feel Yukino's hand clench mine a bit firmer...out of assurance or to prevent me from escaping I don't know, and then the door opens to reveal... a Yuigamama.

"Oh my if it isn't Hikki!" She greets warmly before her eyes trail over to see Yukino as well, noticing our hands interlocked. Her eyes are still friendly but her smile becomes noticeably sadder. "And Yukinon." She finishes with a little less enthusiasm.

Yukino bows her head a bit. "Greetings Ms. Yuigahama, I'm sorry if my appearance causes you any discomfort."

Yui's mother sighs. "Awww don't worry Yukinon I don't hate you or anything, I mean wouldn't it be weird for an adult to hate a teen?" She takes a breath and puts up a bit more of her usual energy, the smile returning. "It's just...well I gotta cheer for the home team you know?"

I clear my throat. "R-Right, speaking of which..."

She interrupts. "She's up in her room, I'm sure you two have a lot to say so don't let me keep you."

Even Yukino seems to be caught off guard by this. "J-Just like that?"

Yui's mother gives a little giggle. "I know, not a very good gatekeeper am I?" She reaches out to put a hand on each of our shoulders. "Obviously I have so many questions for the two of you." I feel the grip on my shoulder tighten a little and catch a little bit of a sideways glance from her. "Like, a lot of questions, but those can wait. Right now my little girl is hurting up there and I think seeing the two of you is just what she needs." She gently pulls us into the house and then gives the two of us a reassuring pat. "So get to it!" She cheers as she corrals us towards Yui's room before disappearing back downstairs with a last thumbs up.

A blink a few times. "That was..."

"Productive." Yukino cuts me off, and here I thought she was actually getting pretty good at finishing my sentences. I try to rebut but she continues. "Just leave it at that dear, remember why we're here."

I wait a little bit before I nod in confirmation. "Right." Yukino once again takes my hand in hers and I brace myself for...well whatever is about to happen before I knock on the door.

The answer is a mix of a groan and a hum, thoroughly disinterested but enough to seem like permission to enter...which I do.

As the door opens the first thing I notice is the darkness, the curtains closed tightly and not a single source of light save that of which is now coming in from the hallway. Next is Yui herself, curled up while sitting upright draped in a blanket, the dictionary definition of lifeless. I hate seeing her like this, and knowing that to some degree it's my fault she's like this...I have to set it right.

"Y-Yo." I sputter out... I really do hate myself sometimes.

Regardless of my introduction that can only be described as lackluster I see Yui begin to inflate as she lifts her head to look at me, eyes brimming with the life that was just missing. "H-Hikki?" The blanket falls from her form as she shoots up and I thank whoever is looking over me right now that she was actually dressed underneath it. "You...you came." She smiles warmly as she focuses on me, only on me.

"Yes, and he brought company." Yukino flatly states as she flips the light switch, none to pleased with Yui's tunnel vision.

This does snap Yui out of her stupor as she turns to look at Yukino with a confused look. "Yukinon? S-Sorry I like, totally didn't even notice you." She apologizes, strangely enough it sounds genuine.

Yukino's gaze sharpens a bit. "Oh, is that right?" She responds, obviously annoyed.

"Awww come on Yukinon I didn't mean it like that, it's just...well a girl's gotta be more excited about seeing her boyfriend right?" Yui bashfully offers with a disarming smile.

I feel Yukino's grasp on my hand tighten, I doubt this is at all what she had in mind. "Your boyfriend?" She lifts my hand. "Perhaps you didn't notice this either."

"Yukino..." I whisper out, really hoping that she came her for more than bickering, before sparing a glance at Yui.

She stares at our adjoined hands for a bit before she...shrugs her shoulders? "Not at first...and?" She asks with sincere curiosity. "You're holding my boyfriends hand, what's that supposed to mean?"

"What's tha-" Yukino seems taken aback. "Yui surely you can't be that idiotic."

Yui blinks a few times before laughing, she even bends over a bit to hold her stomach as she continues to laugh. "Oh my...You can't be...HAHAHAHAHA!" She laughs like this for a few moments, Yukino's grasp getting firmer and her usual coolness melting.

"I must not have understood the joke, care to explain?" She asks, I notice her face twitching a bit as she does.

Yui holds up a finger, asking for a moment, as she regains herself. "It's just that..." She looks up at Yukino with a smile but her eyes are still almost entirely closed. "You think holding hands is all that couples do? Her eyes are still mostly closed but there's a hint of a smug look as she stares at Yukino. "That's so cute~" The implications are clear, something that Yukino does get.

Yukino finally does let go of my hand, but it's to march towards Yui. "You." She growls out in the deep and menacing voice that I've almost grown accustomed to at this point.

"That's enough." I grab Yukino's shoulder before she can make any real progress towards Yui, who was looking anything but concerned as she stood there smiling at Yukino. I don't really have to put any force into it as Yukino turns back to look at me, a guilty look on her face.

"I-I'm sorry dear, I seem to have lost my temper for a moment..." She defends herself as if she want's to avoid losing any approval from me.

"It's fine, just...calm down and remember why we're here okay?"

"R-Right..." She nods in confirmation before she shoots a sneaky glare back at Yui. "And besides, it's not like you and me have only held hands." She leans forward real quick to give me a quick peck on the lips. "Right dear?"

I do my best to fight the blush I feel. "Yukino...please." I push her back a bit as I glance at Yui, who's cheeriness was quickly fading.

"Now that is something I can't have you doing with my boyfriend Yukinon." Her eyes are dulled as she begins to move towards Yukino, in a very similar fashion as Yukino was doing to her just seconds ago. Likewise I repeat my action, entirely moving away from Yukino to place my hands on Yui's shoulders.

"Yui stop, please."

Almost scene for scene Yui copies the same guilty look and defense of Yukino. "M-My bad Hikki..."

"It's okay just...look, we're not here to pick any fights." I glance back at Yukino as I say this, once again trying to remind her of that. "We're here to talk."

For whatever reason Yui blushes. "Talk eh?" She leans forward a bit to press herself against me. "Remember what it was like last time we "talked" Hikki?" I feel her hot breath rush across my neck, heating up my face once again. "I mean I love you Hikki, but I don't think I can do that with people watching." She gives Yukino another smug look with an implication.

I act before I even fully turn around, holding one of my hands out to hold the shoulder of Yukino who had once again walked towards with Yui with malicious intent. As I hold the two of them apart from each other with a hand each I briefly recall a scene from a movie about some guy holding out his hands to stop some cold blooded predators from eating him alive...probably not the best time for Hollywood references though.

"Both of you, stop." I say in the sternest voice I can muster, already sick of the loop these two are making. I look at Yukino. "I don't want to keep saying it, remember why we're here."

Yukino mumbles a bit before averting her gaze and I look to Yui. "Yui, I am here to talk, no funny business this time...I mean it."

Yui blinks a few times before she gains an embarrassed blush and hums in agreement.

I take a breath, to calm down my frustration and to give me a second to formulate a sentence. "Right, so Yui about why me and Yukino are here..." I clinch my jaw a bit as I already wonder how bad her reaction is going to be. "I intend to pursue a...polyamorous relationship."

Yui stands there a bit blinking. "...what?"

I do my best to quickly defuse any anger. "Now I know how that sounds, but just hear me out..." I drawl out as I notice Yui's expression...still just blinking with confusion.

"Polyamor...what?" Yui asks with genuine confusion.

Yukino sighs, either at Yui's lack of understanding or my word choice I don't know, before speaking up. "He means he wants to be romantically involved with both of us at the same time Yui."

"Correction, you two and Iroha." I correct.

"One thing at a time dear." Yukino answers with a bit of venom.

Yui looks at Yukino and then me a couple of times as she processes the information. "Can that...can we...what even?" She begins to start a multitude of questions, never actually finishing any of them.

"I know it's a lot to take in, and I'm willing to stay here as long as you need so we can figure this out together." I do my best to reassure her. "Don't worry this took us a lot of thinking as well."

"Don't rush ahead dear, I'm still thinking about it." Yukino corrects and warns.

"Right, so correction, it took me a lot of thinking to come to this conclusion."

"And...and how did you do that?" Yui asks softly.

"I...well like I said I thought about it. Everything that's happened these last few days, the things the three of you have said to me...what the three of you did with me." I blush as I recall the the more intimate moments. "But I also thought about what you three have done to each other, all on account of me."

"T-That was-" Yui tries to interrupt, most likely to defend herself, but I stop her.

"No, it's alright Yui, I don't hold it against you." I look back to Yukino. "Any of you. I won't lie at first it really did get to me but now...now I get it. I let myself bring the friendship the three of you had to it's breaking point because I was too indecisive." I ponder a bit before continuing. "I don't know when it happened but at some point the feelings you all had for me got too..." I look back and forth between the two, wondering how best to put it. "Intense, and I really only have myself to blame. If I had done something earlier maybe all of this could have been avoided, but I can't change the past and I can't take away the damage I've already caused."

Yui grabs me gently. "Hikki you don't have to...it's okay." She gives me a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about friendships or anything like that...just focus on me okay?"

I chuckle as I shake my head, I don't know if she realized it but she just proved my point. The Yui of the past, while yes competitive for my affection, would never had said something like that...been so eager to leave everyone else behind. "No Yui, I want to worry about your friendships, so I can't just focus only on you."

Yui frantically shakes her head. "T-They don't matter though! You're enough for me...I can...I can leave them behind no problem!" She offers.

Yukino, who had been gracious enough to give me my time, actually does respond to this. "You know Yui...I actually said something strikingly similar just yesterday.

Yui glares at Yukino, as if condemning her for coming between her conversation with me. "And?"

Yukino didn't even return the glare, rather she just looked at Yui earnestly. "And the idiot didn't even move an inch, so save your breath."

The glare softened as Yui continued to stare at Yukino. "And...and how did you react to that?"

"Isn't that obvious? I came here." Yukino answers blankly.

"So you're..." You begins to tentatively ask.

"Like I said before, thinking about it yes." Yukino interrupts.

"...why?"

Yukino chuckles. "Because this idiot refuses to just be mine and mine alone." She says while shooting me a glare before she turns back to Yui. "And...well..."

I smile a little. "Go on Yukino, you can get it out." I gently tease, which I think is fair given that she called me an idiot twice already.

She glares at me again and I notice her face has a healthy dusting of red but she looks back at Yui, or at least in her general direction. "And...if possible I...I..." She takes one more breath before she finally finishes. "I don't want to lose you either!" She blurts out, face now burning and her eyes even slightly watering as she still can't bring herself to look directly at Yui.

There's a brief silence before Yui finally responds.

"...No fair." Yui softly mutters. She's standing there staring at the ground as her hands are clenched tightly. "You can't just... You can't just say something like that."

Yukino dares to look directly at Yui. "Yui?" She sounds almost worried...but then she notices the tear drops on the floor under Yui.

"To come in here and say that after..." Yui continues, now audibly sniffling. "After I tried so hard to hate you!" She chokes out. "It was supposed to be easy, I was supposed to just forget all about you but then you come here and...no fair..." She begins to sob.

Yukino rushes past me towards Yui, and this time I make no effort to stop her. "Yui!" She wraps her arms around Yui bringing her into a hug as her walls also begin to crumble. Yui quickly returns the gesture and the two best friends stand there, holding each other and crying openly.

I give them their space as I watch with a small smile. This is their moment and I'll be damned if I'll do anything to ruin it. I almost ruined this friendship and now they're fixing it so I'll give them all the time they need.

It only takes a few minutes too before they pull away from each other, giving one another a warm smile.

Yukino is the first to speak. "I'm...happy we could keep being..."

"Friends?" Yui offers, knowing how awkward Yukino is with being open.

Yukino nods and hums in agreement. "Yes Yui...friends."

"Me too." Yui's warm smile grows into a full blown toothy grin.

There's a bit of silence and Yukino's face suddenly becomes a bit more serious. "There is still one matter we need to discuss though Yui..."

Yui blinks a few times. "Hmmmm? What's that Yukinon?"

Slowly Yukino's head turns to face me and I feel a chill run up my spine. "What should we do with him?"

"I...erm...what?" I sputter out, confused by the sudden shift of energy from Yukino.

"What do you mean?" Yui innocently asks.

"He said it himself right? It's his fault that our friendship was almost ruined correct?"

"I mean, yeah he did say that..." Yui agrees with a finger to her chin as she thinks back.

"And we can't just let that crime go unpunished can we?" Yukino leads on Yui even more, and I grow increasingly worried.

The two of the stare at each other a bit, almost like they were linking minds, before they both smile wickedly.

"No...I guess we can't." Yui answers as she turns to face me.

"Correct Yui...it seems we need to punish him."

...eh?