I'm Naruto Uzumaki?

"Ughhh...." A groan escaped my lips as I clutched my head in pain. It feels like someone smashed my head repeatedly and I'm feeling the impact now.

'Just where am I?' I look around to get a hint about where I am; the room was mostly empty. There was a table in the middle, cups of what looked like ramens were littered around and there is something that looks like wardrobe to my left.

'Why does this look like a room of a homeless person but with home?' 

I mumbled as my headache starts to calm down.

'What the fuck is this place....'

I try to get off the bed, then only I notice that my body....isn't really my body. It feels small for some reason. I look at my hands and legs....my body seems to be that of a twelve year old child??

I take a few deep breath to calm myself down,....okay let's start from the beginning. I went home after the football match then took a bath and because I was too tired, I think I fell asleep in the bath.....and what happened after that....???

Just as I was stirring my head to get even a little clue of what the fuck just happened, I hear a voice inside my head,

[Activating the devil system....55%...69%....99%...100%]

"What....?" I was so shocked that, my thought got voiced on it's own, "Who is this??" 

[Welcome to Konoha host!! I'm your personal assistant, system or whatever you want to call me.!!]

"...." If someone were to see my face, it probably would have looked like "O" right now. I have no idea what is going on, "am I still high on the weed? Damn I should have listened to my teacher when they told me that teenagers shouldn't smoke..."

[Negative. No harmful drugs or chemical was detected in host's brain.]

"What are you, an antivirus?" I couldn't help but say it loud. 

[Nope. But you have been reincarnated as Naruto. Soooo, welcome to your new life!!]

*Poof* 

I could literally hear the confetti and streamers popping off in my head right now...

But that's not the important thing right now!! How in the hell did I even end up in Konoha as Naruto?? 

[Teehee, it was me who did it! You see when I was watching Naruto show, I got so pissed off that I ended up breaking the monitor itself. They want me to believe that someone would run after a dude who by his own choice left the village just to beg them to return?? Hell no!! So I searched and searched and then searched again for someone who would share the same thoughts as me, and Voila!! I found you.]

[So, I reincarnated you as Naruto, cause why not? You were an orphan plus a loner who had nothing going on, in his life, hehe. Nay nay? Are you excited??]

"....."

"Why don't you come out, I just want to thank you, face to face??" I ask mustering the best smile of my whole life. This bitch is telling me, it took me out from my 'not so perfect life' and throwed me in a fucking place where wars and shits go on. For fuck's sake I didn't even watch anymore than fifteen episode !!

[No thanks, I'm very convinced with the verbal thanks. But don't worry I'll help you by giving abilities and techniques. I'll even help you create a harem! What do you say?? hmm??]

'Just what type of system is this? But...harem hehehe....' I shake my head left and right, 'I ain't jumping on a battlefield, full of shit just to get some chicks, hell no...but harem hehehe'

"Fuck!" I banged my head on the wall near me.

[mah mah, Just calm down okay? I'm not one of those stupid system that will ask you to do some missions and then earn some points just to unlock or buy some stupid things which aren't even useful! I'll pamper you like a sugar mommy okay? Here have this...]

Hearing all the bullshit, my eyebrows were twitching so madly, if it went on they'll probably start creating shadow clones on their own. But suddenly, a small blue bar in a rectangle bracket appears in front of me,

[Congratulations, you have learnt Taijustu to full mastery!!]

[Congratulations!! You've mastered the chakra control !!]

[Congratulations!! You've mastered the path of sword!]

[Congratulations!! Kurama is your bitc- *ahem*, I mean your girl!]

[Congratulations!! Due to Kurama being your girl, you have a large amount of chakra!!]

Just as soon as the notifications appeared, I could feel the large stream of information pouring into my head. What is this?? Fucking martial arts?? I clutched my forehead again, this is too much information.

[Yeah...although the cheats is cool and all, you've got to practice the movements and techniques for the sword and taijutsu techniques by yourself. It's deeply engraved inside you so you'll know how to move and fight by instinct but you have to train your body so that it can follow your mind. You get me?]

"No shit! I don't!!" I yelled. "Slow down woman! You're going too fast!"

[Geez, my sugar baby is so dumb. Okay, so here's the thing. They taught you in school about the chemical reaction for making atom bomb, you know the chemical reaction and ingredients what are used, but that doesn't really mean you can make one?]

[No right, this is the same case. You know the theory, but you need to do the practical yourself.]

[Also have this also, I don't want you to look like a homeless person.]

Just as soon as the system finished speaking, another notification appeared.

[Congratulations!! You have gained the look and physique like that of Greek gods. Now you can finally get some bitc- *ahem* I mean now you have the perfect body for martial arts and fighting.]

As soon as the notification disappears, I start to feel the changes in my body. My whole body was changing, directly from cellular level. I could feel my muscles tightening and becoming more defined. But this time, for some reason the process wasn't as painful as when I received the information in my mind.

A few minutes passed and the changes stopped occurring. My body feels lighter and also more strong than before. My clothes was also changed from the orange jumpsuit to a white t-shirt and a black cloak like jacket along with black pants. 

[See, now you actually look like a main character rather than a homeless dude. Why don't you go and check yourself in the mirror?]

Sigh

I couldn't help but sigh. Just what is going on here? Shaking my head I walked out of the 'bedroom' searching for bathroom.

[Oh, I forgot to give you Naruto's memories. Here you go.]

"Fuck!! Not again dammit!" I clutched my head, bracing for the pain that was going to hit my head again, but nothing happened this time.

I saw a series of visions and events; Naruto stealing the scroll, how Mizuki manipulated him and how he learnt the shadow clone jutsu while saving Iruka and also a certain scene I didn't want to see...Naruto kissing Sasuke...

"Couldn't you just...like reincarnate me a day ago?" I asked desperately, covering my face with both hands....'god I want to just bury myself in a hole...'

[Sorry, this was the best timeline I could find...]

This system answered in an apologetic tone. I couldn't help but be surprised, the system which was just behaving like a sassy little kid was actually apologizing? What the hell?

[Oh common don't be surprised! I wouldn't want my host to kiss some emo kid, would I?]

Annnnnnnd, it is back again...

I walked toward the bathroom, now that I have his memories, this really is helpful. 'But...the assassin of the mist huh...' I couldn't help but sigh again, 'Just where did I get involved randomly...' 

Entering the bathroom, I was surprised again, I certainly wasn't expecting what I saw. For some reason, it was actually clean and proper. 'Must be because he himself couldn't handle the smell...'

I stood up in front of the mirror and the reflection I saw....'well shit'

I was Naruto, but completely different. The only thing remaining similar was the deep blue eyes and the whiskers. My hair had become more denser and deeper shade of blonde. My facial structure now looked liked of some kind of model with a nice jawline perfect nose and lips. I looked like some angel descended from heaven...

I checked my body, which now had a fucking eight packs, perfectly chiseled, as if craved by some master....grandmaster level of a artist.

"Say system-chan...."

[Yes?]

"How the fuck are you expecting me to explain all this to others?" I asked rubbing my temples. I look so good that I might fall in love with myself if I was a woman but...how the hell am I going to explain this to others...

[I don't know...maybe just say 'You got hit by puberty']

"Puberty? are you fucking serious? At twelve?"

[You know what they say, 'early bird gets the bitches...']

"....."

.............

(A/N: I know the story is shit....but give me POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRR :) )