Chapter 124

"That I do not love you!" he said. Christine pushed away from him. It was so much easier to be angry with him than it was to cry. She did not want to cry anymore, but she had to talk to him before they lost everything.

"How can you claim to love me after the way we were in that cottage for the past six days?" she demanded. Erik ran a hand through his hair in frustration; she really did not make anything easy! Arguing like this was not going to get them anywhere.

"Sit down, Christine," he commanded. She stared at him, not moving. Erik sighed and repeated what he had said. With a frown she sat down, crossing her arms over her swelling belly. Erik removed his cloak and dropped it on her shoulders before sitting down not far from her. Christine looked at the cloak on her shoulders, closed her eyes, before opening them and turning to look at him once more. It was silent for a long time, neither of them quite knowing what to say to the other.

"I do not claim to love you, Christine, I do love you. I never want to hear you say otherwise," Erik said softly.

"Then why is it so hard for you to be in the same room as me?" she asked, needing to know.

"Every night when I go to sleep, Christine, every night, I see you being pinned to that bed as Delauney tried to take our baby away from us..."

Christine had never heard so much sorrow in all of her life. He was radiating misery and it was all her fault. This was why he needed the time away; he did not forgive her for her hasty actions. She had known this was the reason for his cold shoulder but hearing him say it hurt her deeply.

"I-I will give you the time you need, Erik, because that is all I can give you," she whispered, standing up. She made as if she were going to go back to the cottage before stopping and turning to face him. "You may never be able to forgive me for what I did but if it is any consolation I will never forgive myself...I know it was foolish to leave those trees when you told me not to, but I lost you once, Erik, I was not willing to stand around and see that happen again. I am not making excuses, because I was in the wrong. I told you again and again not to face that man without any sort of plan and I went in and did just that."

"Christine, look at me," Erik commanded when she turned and began to walk away. She did not, so Erik got to his feet and went after her. He took her chin in his hand and forced her to meet his gaze. "Look at me," he repeated.

Christine looked, and she saw the man she had fallen in love with long before she was even aware of it herself. Everything about him she had come to love. His beautiful gray green eyes that were like a window into the soul of a man any woman would be proud to call husband. The handsome side of his face, all perfect in angle and proportion. The ravaged side of his face was dearer to her than the perfect side.

That mangled side of him had shaped him into the man he was, the father of her child and the love of her heart. His strong body made her feel safe even in the most dire of circumstances and she would always remember his smell, it was uniquely his and her favorite scent. The hand on her chin brought back memories of their numerous nights of passion, when he had touched her with those very same hands and made her feel desire unlike anything she had ever known before.

Erik stared into her blue eyes for several long moments. There was so much about this woman that he would never get over, because he was so much in love with her it really was frightening. Everything about her he had fallen in love with. Her hair always was tumbling down her back, framing her heart shaped face and he loved burying his face in it after making love to her. Her mouth had been the first thing he had fallen in love with because she used it to talk back to him, something nobody had ever done before. Her large eyes could sometimes tell him more than her words ever could.

The body that stood so close to his reminded him of how much she had shared with him in their marriage bed. He had had women in his bed before, but none of them had been Christine. She was the only woman who had ever made love to him without his mask, and she did not ever wince at the sight. The fact that she could look upon him in love instead of revulsion was enough to make him fall in love with her without a second thought. She loved him because he was simply Erik, her husband and the father of her baby.

"I cannot change the fact that you went into that cottage, Christine..." he whispered. Christine closed her eyes before painfully opening them again.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" she whispered. Erik sighed.

"I need you to listen when I tell you something, and do not be so stubborn," he said softly. Christine smiled sadly and shook her head.