Explanation

The train was leaving the station. I leaned on my seat tilting my head on the window and closing my eyes. Luckily nobody was around me. I could put down my mask and be myself. It became my habit, to act happy, and look the best when I was feeling the worst.

Today was one of those days when I thought to quit all and just lay in my bed crying my eyes out, crying until I die.... but instead of doing that I sat on this train going to my hometown, to see my sea... maybe I could find my peace there...

When I step out of the train I took a taxi and went to the beach. It was all like I remembered. Everything was the same, just I've changed becoming more sad, becoming more lonely. How much loneliness one person can handle? -I was asking myself with a sarcastic smile." God is giving you just enough burden that you can hold on to your shoulders" maybe his calculations were wrong?

-Sarcasm again!

I took off my shoes, walking through the sand while the waves washed my bare feet. It was refreshing and I felt how new strength filled me....strange...

My sea can really wash away sorrow...

Looking up I saw a seagull, circling around, holding something in his beak. Flying above my head he dropped and I saw a red rose.

-What?! - I smiled in disbelief, then look up

-Thank you seagull you are so kind!!- giggling I ran while the wind was playing with my hair. It was so good to be back home...how did I ever think that this place was bad and unfriendly?

Then I stopped.-I have to see my old house -with that thought I walked toward my street.

When I sold my house I didn't know who bought it and I didn't care. But seeing workers there something squeezed my heart. The new owner made some changes but they didn't look bad. House became so lovely. In fact, it all looked like my dream house. Big terrace with a swing where you lay down and listen to the sound of waves in the distance. Lots of flowers and red roses.

I smiled seeing them near the entrance. Some of the flowers fell off when they were planted. That is where that seagull found rose!

My house now was somebody else's but I was ok with that. Now I have new life and new responsibilities. Turning around, I went back to the beach and sat on one rock.

'Is that baby yours?" -Jun's voice echoed. That day at the airport we met bumping accidentally into each other. He saw little Anna in my arms. I opened my mouth to answer when Francesco came

- Finally, I checked our tickets. God, it's such a big mess here! Some boy group is traveling today and girls went crazy....- he stopped talking looking at us. Jun looked at him then at me. His eyes expression changed. They became darker. Then he grab tighter his suitcase and walked without saying a word. I was looking at his back not realizing that I was crying

- HyeMin what is wrong?-Francesco wraps his arm around my shoulder. I buried my face in his chest

-Don't ask me anything...please just don't ask...

After that day my nightmares became worse. I was a fool, thinking that I could stand in front of Jun and not crash and burn after in my own hell because it surely was hell this pain I was feeling. The way his eyes changed and he shut himself in front of me killed all my hopes. I knew what he was thinking about seeing Francesco with me. But I left him to think that. It was better if he sees me in a bad way, that is how he will forget me faster and cure his wounded heart. But what about my heart?-I laugh out loud-I have no heart! I have a hole instead.

Quickly I stood up brushed sand from my clothes and went back to the train station. The time for crying was over !! This new HyeMin has a job to do!

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Days go by, passing without me noticing how and when. I tried to occupy myself with my new designs. Drawing was my new passion and it seemed I had a talent for that. Zia and Mona were praising me with encouragement to continue. I was day and night at my office in the back of the store, drawing like crazy. I have lost more weight and I had to change all my clothes. Everything looked big on me but I didn't care.

One day when I was changing, and preparing for work,YunRea came into my room holding new catalogs but stood there with widened eyes

-HyeMin!- I look at her

-What? - She toss catalogs on the bed and came closer

-You have become skin and bones girl! This is terrible!- I shrug my shoulders

-I have lost some weight...why do you make such a big fuss out of it?- She took my hand and push in front of the mirror

-just look at yourself! Look how thin you have become!HyeMin I'm so worried now seeing you like this. You have to stop! I've had enough of you! I had enough of this "stay quiet" game you play! I had enough of this hell you calling life! Snap out of it girl!!!-She was yelling at me and I looked at her in shock. I've never seen her like that before.

- it's obvious that you love him so much. Why are you trying to act like you don't? You think I'm stupid and blind and don't notice things?!- I shook my head in denial but she continued circling in anger around me

- I had enough of this circus, this shared you play every day killing yourself with work, running from him just because of your stubbornness. Why don't you admit that you love him? Why is it so hard for you?- I looked into her eyes and all my sorrow came to the surface. She hugged me

-My dear HyeMin, my dear friend...I love you like a sister but I can't stay quiet anymore. I can't watch you disappearing in front of me...

I sigh-What can I do? it was meant to be like that... He is now married to another woman and there is no place for me anymore...never again...

She moved to break our hug- What are you talking about? Who is married?- I frowned

- Jun...- She frowned too

- Jun is married? To whom?

- To Stella.- She smiled

-Have you lost your mind in that Italy? He didn't marry Stella.- I blinked a few times all confused. She hugs me again.

- He is not married, you stupid girl. Where did you get that idea?

- From his father and Stella...

YunRea was confused now- You better tell me all, I don't understand a thing of what you are saying. I sigh and told her the whole story in one breath.

- And when I saw her in a wedding dress I was sure they got married.- YunRea nodded

- Yes, she got married, just not to Jun. She married some rich businessman's son, some mama's boy from the high class.- I sat on the bed looking at her in disbelieve

-Is that the truth?- She crouched in front of me holding my both hands

-That is the truth. He is still free! - But what about his father's company and all of those people?

- He paid his uncle's debt by taking a loan from Mr.Young.- I buried my face in my palms

- I'm such a fool YunRea! I'm so stupid. - She stroked my hair hugging me tight

- There, there..it's not too late now...you can still have him back.- I shook my head

-I can't...I hurt him so much... I made him think that I cheated on him.- She raised her brows

-Cheated? With whom?

-I made him think that Francesco is my lover...- YunRea laughed out loud facepalming herself

-HyeMin you are one crazy girl you know?!-I look at her in a desperation

-What can I do now?-She smiled-How about you talk to him? He can't read your mind, can't he?

-But he won't talk to me...-YunRea rolled her eyes annoyed

-Make him listen to you or whatever.. you have to fight for your love girl! You made this mess, you need to fix that by yourself!-Her words sounded harsh but she was right.

- I'll try...

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It was somewhere around noon and I was in the store, arranging my drawings to send them to Mona in Italy when one of the sellers came

-Miss HyeMin someone is looking for you.- I came outside and saw Mira. We greeted each other dearly

-I'm so happy to see you HyeMin and I wanted to congratulate you!- I thanked her and offer her a seat. She looked me straight in the eyes

-You know I'm straight forward person and I don't waste my time in small talks?- I nodded and she continues.

- I came here because I desperately need your help and I need it right now!- What seems to be the problem? How can I help you?

She took a little notebook from her purse and gave it to me.- I need man's suits and there you have the measures. Our supplier had some shipment problems and everything is ruined! Can you deliver us those suits by tomorrow?- I widened my eyes

-By tomorrow?! Ah, Mira, that is hard to do...we don't make suits here, we made them in our factory in Trieste.- She nodded

-Yes I assumed it's like that...but I thought you have some in stock here...- I scratch my temple

- Maybe we can find something. How much of them do you need?

-Seven...- My heart stopped realizing what that meant -"FREEDOM"!

I'll try to find enough but not sure will they fit them...-She nodded

-We can fix them by tomorrow.

Then we went to our storage to find the suits. One hour later I was entering the main building once again. Feelings overflow me remembering every single detail. My heart was thumping in my chest when I walked through familiar corridors.

We entered "Freedom's" practice room, but besides the stylist, there was nobody else. I was glad but disappointed at the same time. The stylist and I took suits from bags and hang them checking shoulder measures

-There is no use like this, we need boys to try them, it would be easier and faster.

Mira took her phone and called their manager

-They will come in a few minutes after finishing some recording in their studio.

We sat on the floor and somebody brought us a coffee. I was quiet hiding my shaky hands, swallowing my heartbeats in my throat

- Ah get yourself together HyeMin!-Scolding myself didn't help me at all.

Their manager came and the boys followed one by one. Mira went back to her office in a hurry. The stylist and I gave them to try suits correcting measures with pins and chalk. My eyes were looking for Jun but I forced myself to stay calm when he entered. He just passed by me without looking. Others were surprised. I took one suit and helped Charlie to wear it.

- HyeMin did you shrink you are so small?-He winked and I smiled

-Maybe you just grew taller?-He looked at himself in the mirror adjusting his collar

- In this suit, I look older right?-Others laughed

-You look like a penguin with chubby cheeks-Bobby was pinching his cheeks and Charlie frowned

-Yeah brother they are not chubby! They are just round

-Yeah, you have a head like a watermelon.

-At least nobody calls me cockroach!-On that words, Bobby jumps on his back

-Now you have to carry me all day on your back. I'm a cockroach I can't walk!

While they were running around I took another suit walking toward Jun. He ignored me but Jin gave him a warning sign so he unwillingly gets up and wore it. I took my chalk and draw some lines on the back of his shoulders then I stood in front of him to do the same but my hands were shaking and I drop the chalk. He rolled his eyes looking at the ceiling, avoiding to look at me.

The manager brought some sodas and others went to take them. I looked at Jun gathering all my strength

-Jun can we talk please?-He still didn't want to look at me wanting to go but I grab his hand. He stopped and remove my hand

-Please Jun... just for a second? - But he just left leaving the practice room. I left a sigh and all my hopes sank- He will never talk to me.

*************************

Later that night I was still in a workshop with two tailors, adjusting suits. It took us a lot of time to finish them all. In the end, I was exhausted. Two women left and I stayed to pack suits so we can deliver them tomorrow morning. "Freedom" boys had some important press conference and all had to be ready on time. Sending a message to Mira, I took my laptop and bag closing the store. It was 3 AM and I took a taxi to go home. Right from the entrance of my building, I saw the sign "Elevator out of order"

-Ah great just what I need right now! - My legs got numb after climbing so many stairs and I dragged myself through the corridor. It was dark but peaceful, which suited my current mood. Trying to find my keys I was looking in my bag not realizing that someone was walking toward me. The next second I was pinned by the wall. Soft lips crushed on mine furiously. Kiss blew me away, snatching the ground under my feet. I lay on his chest desperately holding on to his neck. Only one man can kiss like that! Only one man can make my heart beat like that! - Jun! My black angel was back!

He was there before me, kissing me so passionately, so desperately... But all stopped so suddenly as it began.

-Why did you come back? You didn't have enough torturing me? Do you see what you made me do? I'm not made of stone you know! I can't take this anymore HyeMin! Why did you come?

- Jun- I whispered his name, lips swollen from his kisses - I love you...

He leaned his head on mine

-How can you be so cruel HyeMin, this is killing me...don't you have a conscience? Don't you think of that man who seems to love you? You have a baby with him for God's sake!

I looked into his eyes. He doesn't get it yet

- Baby Anna is not my daughter. - He frowned

- She is not?- Shooking my head I took his hand

-That's right...and all this mess is my fault.- His eyes were pinning me, trying to figure am I lying or telling the truth. Moving away, he leans on the wall across me folding his hands

- Why did you leave HyeMin? Leaving me like that...running away... From what did u run? Did you ever love me?

- Yes! I loved you! More than anybody else, more than myself...I still do...- Small tear escaped from the corner of my eye. His eyes were so shiny but dark

-Don't cry... It hurts me when you cry, it hurts me when you are so close to me but I can't hold you... I can't hug you...kiss you...

I made one shaky step toward him

- It is all my fault Jun... I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to save innocent people, how could I not? You can't build happiness on the ruins of somebody else's unfortunate destiny...

He looked confused -What are you trying to say? What innocent people?

- Workers from your father's company... He came to me begging to let you go..to let you marry Stella...What could I do? How could I refuse him?

Slowly he realise what I was saying- My father came to see you and told you all that?- I nodded

-Yes!

- When was that?

- The day before my birthday...- He smiled sarcastically

- Stella!- Now I was confused

- No not Stella, it was your father...- Jun came closer hugging me

- Now I understand all HyeMin, now I see what really happened. She came to me first, proposing to me but I refused. I already talked to Mr.Young and he promised me help. Oh, she was so furious when I told her that I refusing to marry her but I didn't know what is she capable of.... real sly fox! I guess she went then to my father serving him some lies and he came to you. He didn't know I got the money and that I paid our debt.

Then he sigh looking into my eyes- HyeMin...she tricked us both..she came between us. - I hugged him tight

-Don't care about her anymore... just hold me. I never thought you can die from missing someone so badly and that was how I felt that morning leaving you.- His warm hands cupped my face

-HyeMin..- I closed my eyes offering my lips I didn't care that we were standing in the corridor. All I cared about was his closeness, his hands around me, his lips on mine... I have found my peace finally after one year of wandering. A hole in my heart filled with his warmth, with his love...there was nothing more in this life.

We stood there hugged, whispering sweet things to each other. Happiness is expensive! You have to pay her with tons of pain and tears but every single moment she gave you is worth a lifetime.

Jun stroke my hair

- I will love you no matter what... we don't have to be together and you can live with that man but I will continue loving you...there is no turning back for me..not ever again. Slowly he turned around and walked away

-Jun!- I called but he didn't stop- Oh no! Not again!- I panic

-Jun! Francesco is my half-brother!- I said all in one breath and he stopped

- He is not my lover, he is a son from my father's other marriage. Slowly he turned around. I was at one side of the corridor and he was at the end but that distance couldn't stop me from seeing the look in his eyes, the moment of realization...

He ran towards me lifting me up, spinning like crazy, laughing, crying...all at the same time. Yes, happiness is so expensive but once you pay the price your reward is beyond this world. Only stars and the sky above knows her limits...

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A/N: Hello to my dear readers my lemonades (Lol) Tell me what do you think of this chapter? Is it good or bad or whatever ....? And don't worry this is not the end there would be more chapters...

Please comment and vote

Luv ya all <3