GOING BACK TO COLLEGE

"It's fine if you don't feel like going". Adams said walking Jenny to the door.

"Am good Dad,i can manage" She said smiling.

"Alright dear, take care of yourself and don't hesitate to call me if you need anything".

"Thanks Dad".

She got to the school premises earlier than usual,so she decided to walk around a bit to ease her mind,'solo being by Joyce Kyler ' was playing from her earphones, the only song she can perfectly relate to, chaotic, calming, soothing, sadness, pain,all emotions merged into one song,it described her life so well . Her mind started to drift off little by little. She wondered how things can go from bad to worse in just a few days. Life is definitely not treating her fairly and she feared what the future holds for her.she looked at her wrist, the bandage was still there, would it have made any difference if she had succeeded in killing herself that fateful evening, the pain she felt was only temporary. She took a deep breath and acknowledged the fact that she's trapped in a world full of pain and sadness and as long as she's alive, there's no escaping it.

It was almost time for her first lecture, she walked briskly towards her faculty, when she entered the lecture hall, she was surprised to see so many people, the professor was standing at the podium already. All attention was drawn to her, some were whispering to themselves while some were just staring,if looks could kill, she would have been dead by now.

She kept wondering why everyone was looking at her and in the most uncomfortable way,as an introvert, this was way too much to handle. She caught sight of an empty chair not far from the door, her legs were suddenly heavy but that didn't stop her, she sat down eventually but eyes were still on her.

Since she started college and now in her second year, she can literally swear that she's completely invisible and not just to some specific people but to the whole school. She kinda liked it cause she's able to live in her own world, no friends, besties or boyfriend. Her privacy was top priority and somehow everyone seemed to understand, that's probably why no one has ever approached her.

〰️ JENNY 〰️

I was beginning to freak out, I've never received this much attention in my entire life,i had no idea not even in the slightest why everyone was looking at me, maybe i picked the wrong outfit, it's probably my hair or there's something on my face,i just couldn't think of anything that might have gone wrong. I thought of leaving the class but i couldn't muster up the courage to do so, I decided to stay back and pretend to be the only one there.

The class was over at long last,i was the first to leave but unfortunately i bumped into someone and fell to the ground, when I got back up,i wanted to apologize to the person but instead i became completely mute.

"Aren't you going to apologize?".Of all the people i wanted to see today, she was the least person.

"You ruined my shirt, cousin sis,say sorry".

If anyone had told me that having a cousin sister such as the one standing infront of me would be the death of me one day then i would have prayed day and night not to have one at all. Though klara is younger than I am,she always tries to fit her legs in my shoes with every little opportunity she gets,we are not compatible and will never be. Though I've being seeing her a lot since she got into college but we've never spoken to each other for once. I remember vividly when she came to spend the summer break in our house,we were both in high school then, with each passing day we always disagree and argue over one stupid thing or the other, until one day we ended up fighting over a tv remote,it was a messy fight and i was the only one who got injured,my mom even took her side, saying that I was the older one and instead of starting a fight i should have been more considerate and left the sitting room entirely for her. I wasn't even the one who started the damn fight in the first place.

"Am sorry,i didn't see you coming". I said briefly and was about to go because I didn't want any trouble.

"You shouldn't have done that, you know".She said stepping in my way.

"You demanded for an apology and you got it, what more do you want?. I was gradually getting pissed.

"Not that,am talking about this". She said pointing to my hand.

I widen my eyes in complete shock,i placed my hand behind my back,how did she get to know about it.

"You must be wondering how i got to know" She said smiling wickedly.

"Wait Klara, let's talk outside okay, people are watching". I said grabbing her hand but she snatched it back and glared at me.

"Everyone knows that you tried to kill yourself, they all know but the question is, why,did you get a boyfriend and he dumped you for someone else?".

It dawned on me immediately, everything became clear as day light, now I know why everyone has been staring at me all these while,this girl is definitely going to be the death of me. I didn't know what else to say.

My head began to spin suddenly,i felt like everyone was waiting to devour me into pieces with their words.Why should I even care, it's my life and I'll choose do whatsoever I want to do with it. They don't have the right to judge me.

"We are all waiting Jenny,tell us why you tried to kill yourself, what was the reason". Klara said raising her voice. I wished earnestly for the ground to open up and swallow me,i just wanted to hide somewhere safe, away from all these judgemental people.

They don't understand me or how i feel so i don't owe anyone any explanation. I placed my hand over my head and shut my eyes very tight.

"Leave her alone!" someone shouted from the crowd.