Chapter 9
He kissed me passionately an somewhat we found ourselves back in my bedroom .Though something didn't feel right. Could it be the kiss , no it couldn't be, why did i feel such heightened fear instead of love it didn't feel right at all . I felt so uneasy imagining my dignity lost like that for some old man unrealistic creature who's lived far longer than any species I've known on Earth . For all I knew he could be something dangerous . Why would a woman fear someone like him neither of the things Audrey mentioned about him reflect his character . But then again it's easier to pretend to be sonething you not when you actually got a motive . I hardly haven't finished Audrey's diary but I simply know something is offish . I just want my curiosity to end . I have to confront him and see how he reacts, or probably try finding out more about him and his family by visiting them .
"What are you thinking? , you hardly paying attention to our moment. " He suddenly disturbed my thoughts .
"Mmmh?." I responded confused. "I'm sorry just got alot in my mind . May I ask ."
"Ofcourse , you can ." He said somewhat disappointed.
" If you had something seriously heavy or disturbing happening in your life , you would tell me all about it right ?, Especially if it will affect me in some way . I just need you to know that no matter how hard things may get . I need you to be hundred percent honest with me because I seriously don't think this relationship will work out with the both of us hiding things from each other ....."
" Woah Khloe , what are you on about here ?.Is there something you know and wish I tell you first before you could confront me ?."
"NO!, I just find us weird we only got about 3 days knowing each other but we already tying to go under the covers hoping all will be void filling .You know what I'm not well could you please leave , eitherway mom will be back in an hour and i got to prepare myself . I'm sorry but I feel like there's more to 'Thomas' than the one you introduced me to."
He picked his shirt from the floor and gave me the most saddest look ever . It hurt badly seeing him like that but I couldn't. I just simply turned on the other side of the bed to avoid looking at him .
"Hope you know what you're doing ."He said leaving all doors harshly shut . Silence suddenly filled the rooms and my heart started feeling heavy. So to feel better I thought of playing 'IN YOUR EYES BY THE WEEKEND ' instead it made me feel more and more lost and lonely . Even in the bathtub while I connected my phone to a bluetooth speaker I kept repeating the same song . Doubt and regret kept bringing guilt within me if wether I could hace been harsh over nothing . What if I've began losing my mind ? . How can i believe a book ?, Right now it felt as though I had forgotten the difference between reality and surreal things .
After taking a bath while in my room picking an outfit across my study table there sat Audrey's diary and somewhat some part of me wanted to read it so I may get closure. But what's the worth of Some it when its actual existence causes me so much pain . Just a few days ago I met an amazing guy . Even though he might have been in my dreams way before I met him, some part of me really needed his warm hug .
For the evening I decided to wear a pink cocktail dress , and a bit of make up to lighten up my face as I knew it would be hard to try look friendly to mom's friend as I had been hurt emotionally. It was already 7pm and mom wasn't home yet so I decided to take snacks and read Audrey's diary. Decided to reread the page I was reading before my shock to a surname that seemed related to mind .
December 05, 1658
Dear diary it's been four days since I last wrote to you . I made my plan work . I'm hurt by my decision but I'm more than glad that things will actually work out according to how I planned them .
My parents found me a suitor from the lands of Gwandilish . He is of great importance in my life , he comes from a wealthy family , which makes us financially stable . I must say he quite charming but no man could ever take away the joy that Thomas's smile used to bring out of me , just that exact moment when it catches your eye and how he liked looking into my eyes , it made me too uncomfortable but ohh how I yearned that we would stay that way forever . Truth be told, I couldn't continue with Thomas because his nature simply brought out the worst out of me .
Thomas gave me a new eye sight to life . I've started believing that vampires , Frankenstein and other supernatural things could exist . I really don't have much trust in the unreal . I grew up knowing that such things were made up just to scare kids from doing wrong things in life.
My husband's name is Lucky Wilson. A gentle hearted soul. Who accepted me with my child .Judge me not, for though my heart will forever feel one with his . I lift my heavy heart solemnly hoping all shall be well . I've hear'd around the town that someone goes about telling that Amanda ain't Lucy's , even though this pains me I'll have to give away my daughter in hope that despite his father being a monster , she might live a normal life . Hope she gets no hereditary genes from his father. That will not only be a danger to me but to whomever I'm going to give her.
(Following page)
December 06,1658
Old Miss Roselle agreed to take with her my daughter as she was going on pension . I told her nobody had to know who Amanda is and neither does Amanda have to know that I'm here mother . I know what his biological father is capable of . For many years his family had lived pretending to be commoners when they knew they had fortunes they own up to . I couldn't explain that to my beloved father because he wouldn't have understood. Fact is each and every century they've lived they made themselves worthwhile by working hard yet live to be accepted by each new community they ever live into by being less financially able . Despite all Thomas is I will forever care and love him all the days of my life .....
My eyes began to hurt as I stopped reading Audrey's diary, that I hardly even realised it was way past 10pm . I went to lock the door as I assumed mom wouldn't be home till tomorrow morning . Though a text or call wouldn't have hurt just so she let me know that they ain't coming anymore.
I washed my face and teeth then changed to pyjamas and went straight to slumberland.