CH. 9: I Was Still Lost

"Shall we eat?"

She was excited and happy that she could have this chance again.

The chance to be with them.

Because the event that occured on this particular day on her first life caused her to feel complete anger towards her brothers, most particularly Alexander.

She had blamed him for ruining everything.

The day after the things that happened where she and Cyrus found out that nothing happened between them, Amanda told her why she had thought that she was no longer disowned.

'Your brother Alexander? He was looking at your direction during that party. I thought I saw worry but I guess I was mistaken. Because if not then surely you wouldn't still be disowned. If I didn't believe those eyes then I wouldn't haev allowed you to stay and sleep with my son, making him marry you.'

Those words together with the immense hatred that Cyrus showed her caused her to explode at them on the friday a week later.

There she had shouted at them for causing her everything because of her family name.

She shouted that she never wanted to return and never wanted to see them again.

The eyes of her four brothers who only wants what's best for her, were filled with pain.

But no, they love her too much that they didn't even got mad at her. Nor did they fought against her.

Instead they were the ones who are apologizing to her.

Over and over again, but she turned her back on them, telling them not to appear in front of her again.

She had felt back then that if Alexander wasn't looking at her then she wouldn't be in such situation and she may find a different chance in getting close to Cyrus, who still didn't know who she was at that time.

And that was the last time that she had seen them before she died.

Most people will think that coming back, you would have revenge on those people who wronged you as your priority.

But nope, in the first place, who wronged her?

His mother did wrong her by pushing her off the third floor balcony back then.

His mother wronged her by forcing her to sign the divorce papers in exchange for her life.

Well, if she dies then her promise would not be fulfilled.

So she could only relent, especially since the mother and son were in complete sync in regards to the divorce matter.

Not her death part, she must add.

Cyrus never threatened her with her life but he was indeed adamant on divorcing her.

Anyway, she still has something to do and knowing that Amanda has a lot of connections and she was now the one throwing her out, Heather could only do what she wanted her to do.

She didn't want to die then.

But in the end she still did, she died. A miserable lonely one at that.

Anyway, back to the topic.

Thinking back, barely anyone had wronged her so revenge was not part of her plans right now.

She must emphasize that part.

RIGHT NOW.

Because in this life, if one were to try and harm her or those important to her, she wouldn't mind baring her fangs and becoming the reincarnation of hell itself.

Maybe the top of the list are the people developing "those" kinds of things?

But despite everything she experienced in her first life.

Right now all she wanted was to right all the wrong things she did in her first life.

She was to be blamed by how it came tumbling down.

All of it was because of her and no one else.

Because she made the wrong choices back then.

As for the future events, she will surely fight but that will depend on how much they will do.

"Hea~ther."

She blinked when she was suddenly fed with a shrimp.

"What are you thinking so deeply when all your handsome brothers are right in front of you?" Aldger asked with his childlike gentle smile.

All four of them are looking at her.

"Oh, my apologies. I was just thinking about the fact that I will never let go of this ever again that I zoned out," she replied with a happy sheepish smile.

"Then, then, are you going to return to the family?" Aldger was still the one who asked her, in an excited tone, like a child being given a toy.

Heather shook her head, "I will surely return, I know I am strong enough as compared to when I was a teenager. But not just yet, I still have things I want to do before I can come out as a Relish once again."

She had a feeling that everything wasn't as simple as what was shown in the surface.

She needs more time as a nobody to allow her to keep looking into things without anyone trying to see whether she was trying something else.

Amanda was the one she needed to deceive the most, because once she knew that everything was a lie from the beginning, the freedom that Heather needs right now, will disappear into thin air.

She knew Amanda will use Cyrus to make her create more connection for their family.

Especially since her brothers are on different fields, the connections Heather could create would surely be vast.

And connections are Amanda's bestfriend.

The four of them turned serious after hearing her say that it was not yet time.

"You are just suffering in there, right?" Alexander said with worry.

"I was because it was also my fault. But not anymore, I will no longer suffer," she answered with conviction.

"Why are you so adamant on staying?" Dexter asked.

She smiled, "Because I wouldn't be here if not for him. I told you he saved me, just as how you saved me when you allowed me to leave home back then."

"Are you saying that you... didn't really live well after leaving our family in the past?" Hunter's demeanor turned cold, he was thinking whether more people had bullied her while away from their home.

"Hunter," Alexander called.

Hunter cleared his throat and reign in his cold aura.

Heather smiled, "No one bullied me, don't worry. Everyone was kind to me in that village. The life was simple but it was fulfilling and peaceful."

Then a melancholic look appeared on her face.

"But I was still lost. So lost that even though I achieved most of what I wanted to do without the family's name, I was still lost of how I will continue from there on and that's when he saved me."

"He doesn't seem to remember it, if not then surely he wouldn't treat you this way," Aldger commented with seriousness.

She still haven't told them how he saved during that one time she was talking about.

And it seems she has no plans of speaking about it at all.

Heather shook her head, "It was a one time saving after all. But I was able to get back up my feet and to do more with my life because of that saving."

She ate another squid, "He hates me now because I took his beloved's position by his side and even tried to act like her. I understand why he would hate me so."

"But seeing your look now, it seems you are going to drop it," Alexander gestured at her clothes and hair.

The usual attire she loves wearing that they were well acquainted with.

She smiled and nodded her head, "That's right, I am dropping it and I will continue being Heather. The real one that is."

Seeing how determined she is, they knew they could not change her mind at all.

Someday they also feel that she will speak of the things she experienced while away from under their wings.

Because in order to support her decision back then, they chose to pull every surveillance towards her.

In that village, sge has no guards or servants.

She simply Heather.

"Then, will you at the very least allow us to support you in the shadows this time?" Aldger asked wiping the side of her lips where sauce of the food remained.

"I would love to accept your help. Because I know now, I can't really do everything on my own. I would really need all of my connections."

They sighed.

She was so adamant in the past, despite being young that she wanted to leave.

To the point of leaving her very own name behind.

But now finally.

She was finally willing to accept it again, albeit only half for now.

Before getting married they saw that she was doing great and felt relieved but after marriage, her life started going down the drain once again.

It was only a year but they were able to see the difference after she came back in the city about two years ago.

She was in a village at the western side of the country since she was 13. She was still studying that was a fact but she didn't study at well known schools.

At schools where barely anyone knows her face, the reason she chose to go to a remote village with its own junior and high school.