Matters Of The Heart (chapter 3)

Elizabeth groaned and rolled over in her bed at the sound of the rooster crowing. It had been a week since the shooting and Nathan had yet to keep his promise to talk to her. She knew he was hurting and trying to process the shooting and she was trying her best to give him room to do that, but she couldn't figure out why he was purposely avoiding her. With the exception of a curt smile and a quick hello when walking Allie to and from school he hadn't offered up much more in the way of conversation.

She had not been sleeping well, but she knew Jack would be stirring soon so she swung her legs out of the bed and placed her feet firmly on the wooden planks. Standing she hurriedly got dressed for the day and then went to get Jack out of his crib. She walked downstairs with Jack in tow and quickly made them both breakfast. As she was cleaning up she heard a soft knock at the door.

She smiled at Jack, "you stay right here, that's probably Laura." She crossed the wooden floor, the planks creaking with each step, grabbing the doorknob she swung the door open, "Hi Laur….Lucas…" She eyed him cautiously, "What can I do for you?"

"Elizabeth, I haven't seen you all week. I was wondering if everything is all right?"

"I've been kind of busy with school and other things," she looked down at the ground and then back up and gave him a small smile.

"I was hoping that maybe I could interest you in dinner with me tonight."

"Lucas," she began, "I…oh Laura, good morning!" Lucas turned to see the young lady standing behind him patiently.

"Good morning, Mrs. Thornton." Lucas stepped aside and let Laura enter the house.

"Lucas, can you let me get Laura settled and then you can walk me to school and we can talk."

He nodded, "Yes, I would like that." Elizabeth turned to talk briefly with Laura and then gathered her things, kissed Jack goodbye and was out the door.

The pair walked in silence for a few minutes before Lucas finally spoke, "Elizabeth, the truth is I was hoping to ask you to dinner tonight with the hope of possibly starting a courtship with you."

Elizabeth took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Lucas, you have been so incredibly patient and kind and helpful with my book, but I don't think this is the right time for me to start courting anyone." She glanced at Lucas out of the corner of her eye and then looked straight ahead again, "I'm sorry, any woman would be so lucky to have you, but I just can't."

Lucas focused on the schoolhouse in the distance finding it difficult to not show is disappointment, "Does this have anything to do with Nathan?"

Elizabeth froze and turned to him, but she did not meet his eyes or speak, instead choosing to focus on the buttons of his coat. Lucas nodded his head in understanding. He could see it in her eyes and they spoke volumes, "I see," he stated simply.

"Lucas, I was confused and scared, but it's always been about Nathan. If it weren't I wouldn't be struggling to call our dates as being friends only. When I thought that he had died my whole world was suddenly turned upside down and I realized that what I was feeling for him was more than just friendship. It wouldn't be fair for me to pretend that those feelings aren't there for any of us. I didn't want to hurt either of you, but the connection with him is something that I just can't ignore or deny," she was silent for a second, "I really have to get to school, but I want you to know that I appreciate everything you have done to help me with my book. I will forever be grateful for that."

She turned to walk towards the school, but Lucas as an afterthought called to her, "Elizabeth, wait, there is something you should know."

She stopped and turned to face him, "Elizabeth, Nathan is struggling with a lot of things."

She sighed, "What do you mean? He said that we would talk, but I get the feeling that he is avoiding me."

He looked at her with concern, wondering if he even had the right to tell her about his conversation with Nathan and then made the split-second decision to forge forward, "That's because he is. He is scared of hurting you. I believe he doesn't want to put you through the possible pain of losing someone again if you were to get close."

Her eyebrows furrowed into a questioning look, "How do you know all of this?"

"He came to me and told me and said he was going to back away from pursuing you."

Elizabeth's heart sank and she felt herself trying to control her breathing. "Lucas, thank you. I have to go now." With that she turned and walked towards the school.

The words Lucas had spoke to her kept reverberating in her ears. She could not understand why Nathan would promise to talk to her and then completely ignore her. She wanted to be angry with him, but at the same time her heart was saddened and torn for him and she wanted so desperately to help him through this if he would only let her in.

She climbed the steps of the school and walked to her desk and began to put her things away. No sooner had she sat down then Allie came walking through the door.

"Allie, can I help you with something?"

Allie looked down and Elizabeth could see the sad look on her face and that something was clearly bothering her.

Allie breathed a heavy sigh before speaking, "Mrs. Thornton, I am worried about Uncle Nathan. He just seems so down and sad. He won't even go fishing with me. I don't know what happened out there because he won't tell me, but I've heard rumors and I know it was bad. Would you talk to him? I know he trusts you more than anyone else."

"Allie, it's complicated with your Uncle and I. I'm not sure he wants to talk right now and you and I both know that if he doesn't, he won't."

"All I know is that I want the old Uncle Nathan back, the one that would joke with me and take me fishing. Maybe you could go talk with him tonight? I'm going to Opal's for dinner and to make cookies. Please Mrs. Thornton."

Elizabeth looked at the girl standing before her and could see the hurt displayed in her eyes and wondered if her own mirrored the same, this was affecting more than just her Uncle, "I'll see what I can do, Allie."

For the first time during that conversation Allie smiled, "Thank you, Mrs. Thornton!" She then turned and walked back out of the schoolhouse with a bit more of a spring to her step than when she had entered. Elizabeth took a deep breath a slowly let it out. If he wasn't going to come to her then maybe it was time she went to him.