Chapter 32
The next day...
"Damn to think I had to use [Tension Relax] to be able to move again." Right now I'm sitting in a rocking chair, relaxing a bit, it was a wild night and I enjoyed it to the fullest, that is what the system that I was careful with when it was a full moon refers to and again I discovered that it doesn't matter that my body is super human everything needs moderation.
"Hahaha, don't worry, even if you can't move you know I'll take care of you." Next to me, Kirkena approaches, sitting on top of me and relaxing on the chair too, which apparently is the only one that survived after last night.
It really surprised me yesterday, I just went to Kirkena's house, talked a little with her and when she was going to explain what was happening in the city, Ruri came up behind me and hug me, then she proceeded to almost do me a suplex, throwing me on the floor, undress me and without further ado we proceeded to have sex.
This time it was me who acted as an NPC for almost a minute, I couldn't see Ruri since she was in the reverse cowgirl position, so after reacting a little I proceeded to help her, looking around to my side I see Kirkena with a red face, sitting on the ground with a open mouth surprised by what is happening, at that moment I did not ask why I just proceeded to give my best effort that lasted all night.
"I know it's a little late to say anything, but I'm glad we can... be more connect..." I don't finish saying my little joke to ease the atmosphere when Kirkena covers my mouth and stares at me visibly angry, then proceeds to sigh.
"I'm sorry, I forgot you're a Norman, among elves the act of choosing a partner is special, so it's really frowned upon to make jokes about it." Then she proceeds to remove her hand from my mouth and sits on my lap making us face each other.
"Remember this Leonhard, I decided to give myself to you, you may think it's silly since we've only known each other for a few days at most, but my people have this instinct to know when we find our partner, I didn't understand it when my mother explained it to me but now I do." She continues to look at me seriously and for several seconds I really don't know what to do... does that mean that the real me didn't know how to talk to women? I mean, I have always been following in the footsteps of other guys in my head, but now that it could be said it's just me, I don't really know what to say.
"I didn't know about it, I apologize, I'm really happy that you decided to be with me, I promise you won't regret it." Thank heavens for all the idiots in my head, even [Gamer's Mind] was failing me for a moment, the good thing about having previous experiences to look at. At least I don't think I'm making a fool of myself, now the question is, what do I do with Ruri and the rest of the girls?
'I may be an insecure cowardly bastard, but I'm not irresponsible... wait is that what I think of myself?' before I can continue to think Kirkena take my face with her hands.
"Don't think too much about it, that's not how it works and from what little I know you I know very well that you know it too, to tell the truth I also didn't expect to move so fast but well Ruri was very very deep into the matter." I blink and see Kirkena face and she only grins. "I think I told you I'm Norman too, right?" I can only smile to think that I am so nervous in a situation like this. Now what to say... In the end I better choose honesty, I can't tell her everything but at least I don't want to pretend in front of her. In front of what I believe is the first genuine interaction I have.
"I may be an insecure cowardly bastard. How to day it... For me, honor means nothing and I have never fought a battle that I know I cannot win, I prefer to escape before having to..." Before I can continue, Kirkena covers my mouth again.
"Calm down, we have all the time in the world, don't think less of yourself, you're strong I can feel it, stronger than anyone I've ever seen, you're only below the gods and even they would have a hard time defeating you." Kirkena looks at me somewhat surprised... true, the way I said it can be easily misinterpreted.
"No, let me finish talking, it's something I have to say, I feel it's something very important. In addition my life is very important, so I will not lose it so easily." I look Kirkena square in the eye, she stares back at me, finally sighing.
"Men never showing weakness...Very well, I hope I can help you but even if I can't, remember that I will always be here, no matter what you do." Kirkena with an pout moves a bit and sits on my leg again.
"As I was saying, I prefer to keep my life before honor, I am willing to do almost anything to win, any dirty trick that gives me an advantage, thanks to this I was able to reach the pinnacle of power, leaving behind me the corpses of my enemies, friends, rivals..." I kept quiet I'm getting closer to something, but what is it? I clearly feel like something inside me wants to come out so I close my eyes.
*****
When I open my eyes, I am no longer in the rocking chair with Kirkena, I am in front of a cliff and the truth is that it does not matter to me since I have more important things to think about, so I continue standing and close my eyes again, the feeling that I had still does not go away, Little by little I feel like I'm getting to it.
""What are you looking for?"" Am I hearing a voice or is it just somebody speaking inside my head? I try to answer but when I spoke I said something that I couldn't understand.
""The answer is in front of you, it always has been, you had already asked the question and you had already obtained the answer.""
"What the hell does that mean strange voice in my head, if I knew what I was looking for I wouldn't be here wasting my time!" I get a little annoyed and raise my voice... why does it irritate me so much not getting the answer?
....
.....
.....
.... sorry?
""Patience... Serenity..."" "What?"
""Patience... Serenity..."" "Yes you said it before."
""Patience... Serenity..."" .....
""Patience! Serenity!"" "Don't yell dammit."
""Patience... Serenity..."" ....
""Patience... Serenity...""....
""Patience... Serenity..."" .....
"Loyalty... Duty... Damn, that was what was happening to me, my damn problem was that, a fucking existential problem? That is why I felt so out of place and contradicted what I thought and did daily."
"Damn I feel like a little kid again, wait why haven't I come back to reality..." I ask but I don't get an answer...? What a strange feeling is this... The voice no longer says anything but I understand it easily
"Okay I'm going to say it, I don't know why you try so hard. Patience...." I feel a small headache, nothing serious but again I understand why it happens.
"What do you want me to dance while I say it...? No, I'm not a shonen protagonist to go screaming like crazy. Yes, talking on air isn't exactly the sign of someone sane, Yes, I know, you are me and I am you, that is what bothers me the most." Without being able to do more, I stop in front of the cliff and begin to take a breath. To think that even in my head I'm still an annoying bastard.
"Patience! Serenity! Loyalty! Duty! COURAGE!"
******
I'm in the room again.
'Wait, everything that happened I thought or said it too, seeing how Kirkena looks at me I probably yelled it... sigh... the good thing I didn't say anything that I had to regret and I didn't have to give a speech about it either. She may think I'm crazy to suddenly yell b....'
[Beep!]
[Synchronization completed!]
'What?' But before I can continue, Kirkena kisses me, seeing her well, she even has small tears in her eyes. Alright, who was the bastard that made my little naughty elf witch cry? Huh? Ruri is also here, wait, why she also has tears in her eyes?
"I'm sorry I was so pretentious Leonhard, when I heard you talk bad about yourself I thought I had to help you, however you didn't need it, frankly now I want to get to know you better to find out how you overcome all these adversities and what led you to have that mentality." Kirkena speaks after separating her lips from me. Now that I think about it, when did Ruri sit on my other leg?
"I just got to know another part of you Leon, even if I couldn't listen to me from the beginning, it's a shame that I could only hear the end." Ruri hugs me resting her head on my shoulder, apparently still tired from everything she did in the night....
'Huh? I don't remember saying much, even in my thoughts I just complained and at the end I yelled a few words, it's not a big deal.' As I think about what I could have said to move them so much, Kirkena begins to say some very familiar words.
"What would they know of struggle? Your people called you "Great One". The people of mine called me slave. Which one of us had to rise up against a kingdom with nothing but a horde of starving slaves? Which one of us was a child enslaved on a world of monsters? Listen to these wretches yelling courage and honor, courage and honor! Do they even know the meaning of those words? Courage is fighting the kingdom which enslaves you, no matter that their armies outnumber yours by ten-thousand to one. They know nothing of courage! Honor is resisting a tyrant when all others suckle and grow fat on the hypocrisy he feeds them. They know nothing of honor!" Kirkena says while moving her hands a little emphasizing some parts of the speech.
'Okay... it's something different but why the hell did I say Angron's speech? It's great and all but why did I unconsciously say it? Huh? According to my system clock, almost 2 hours have passed? but for me it was only about 15 minutes....' I try to think about what is happening but my thoughts are interrupted again
"You must have been through so much Leon!" Ruri begins to want to cry hugging me, it took me a little longer to understand the situation a bit, and well I can't blame them, if I give a speech about slavery of course they'll think I was a slave, and seeing how it affected them surely I put passion into the matter.
"It doesn't matter your past Leonhard, now you are here with us, if you wish you can continue saying that you lost your memory, although with what you had go through it would have been much better if you had lost them." Kirkena lowers her gaze a bit, apparently still affected by whatever I have said.
'What the fuck did I say!? Why did it affect them so much, I only had to fight a few wars, nothing dangerous, and if I told Angron's back story, there are clearly inconsistencies, I don't have the Butcher's Nails... wait, so that's why I didn't say the part about opening my brain.' While I'm still in my non existential background problem that [Gamer's Mind] can't solve they keep talking.
"You were great at facing so many dark creatures to defend what little you had, defend yourself against the horrible poisons that spewed from the very land at all hours, having nothing to eat or drink and still managed to end inequality and bring order to a dead world full of criminals and monsters." Kirkena says.
"Besides you have great titles, why don't you use them anymore? Lord of Iron, Night Haunter, The Liberator, The Blade of Unity, Eternal Champion? Honestly, I had never met someone alive or dead who had so many titles." Ruri says and for a moment I feel that I saw something strange, a small glow but I think it was my imagination I am that affected by this?
'Is that Konrad and the Elder Scrolls...? You know I don't even want to understand what story I told, I just have to sit back and enjoy, if they ask I will just answer that I don't want to talk about it.' I keep rocking in the chair trying to forget what's happening. They continue talking until they both say something that makes me pay attention again.
'Patience is a virtue that all of us need to practice in order to achieve our goals, it makes you an strong person and helps you to not to break down too early.
Serenity to accept the things that I cannot change. Living one day at a time. Enjoying one moment at a time. Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
Loyalty is like a pillar that can withstand any force that tries to break through it because it is strong and steadfast, It cannot be persuaded or bought to stray from their course.
Duty to confront many grave problems and difficulties but with a new faith and the strength to venture beyond the safeties of the past, dedicating myself anew to their service.
Courage is what helps you build strengths instead of weaknesses, it makes you create change instead of complaints and gives you direction instead of confusion." They both say apparently this was the final part of what I was telling them without knowing.
'That's all? well at least I didn't say anything about sacrifice since frankly I think it is rubbish, and now that I think about it, I would normally be a bit embarrassed hearing someone say my speech when I accepted my position as General and more with a pair of beautiful naked women standing over me wait... 'my position'?' Something is worng but what. Again I can't keep thinking when Ruri stands on my leg and puts her face in front of mine, with stars in her eyes? An anime effect?
"You're really great Leon, I always hear speeches about honor, courage and that kind of things, but it's always about being a warrior to the end and dying as one, not showing weakness, whereas yours is about accepting yourself and you weakness thinking about the other people not only about yourself, " Ruri says, but it's weird before I talked about courage in the Angron speech and is completely differently in the end and I just contradict myself... could it be that their AI is flawed too....?
'No, I must stop thinking like that, whether they are AI or not, they are already with me and that does not change the fact that I accept them in my life... I also have to think about what to do with the girls, to tell the truth having a harem is not as good as it sounds and having more than 20 is going to be a real hell. But really what the hell was that synchronization? In addition to the fact that my mind is mysteriously calm and composed, everything they are saying to me only surprises me a little but I don't feel anything else, is like...' Before I can continue thinking, Kirkena puts her face in front of mine, looking me straight in the eye.
"Leaving aside your emotional and beautiful speech, I want to know something else." After that she proceeds to sniff me a bit.
"What are you? You are supposed to be an elf? Why are you acting like a beastkin? if i smell bad can i go take a bath." Ruri for her part seems confused as well and proceeds to sniff me too.
"I don't smell anything strange Leon, in fact you smell better than all the inhabitants of Niflheim..." Ruri says as she tilts her head slightly showing a cute pose... with question marks in the background what the fuck?
"Well Ruri that's because I'm not dead in the first place, in the second..." before I can finish Kirkena again takes my face with both hands and puts hers in front of me.
"I can smell several things about you Leonhard, now then... how many lovers do you have Leonhard?" Shit, we haven't been together for 1 day and she already put me a leash?