Chapter 4: I thought it was a dream (4)

By the time I opened my eyes, the sun outside the window was setting and next to me was the culprit who made me like this, dozing in the corner of the bed.

Was her name Heliciad? Her appearance was innocent and adorable, but she could make people faint.

As I bowed my head in frustration, Heliciad rubbed her eyes and got up.

"I see that you are up. I'm sorry. I didn't think that you'd faint after being hit. Because of what I did, I got scolded by others a lot, please don't be mad!"

I was at a loss of words as I looked at the child who was worried for me 'I must be weaker than I thought', was the only thing I could think.

I could assure anyone, the one hit she did was enough to send an male adult flying.

…I am not weak. However, I decided to not say anything else as I would get angry.

"You see, I have a question, can I ask?"

The child asked with an innocent smile. It was so cute to see her wiggling her hands in the hand, but I knew, I knew better than to get deceived by her. What did she want to ask me?

"Well, I will listen."

I was nervous.

"Uh- you know, why do you want to die?"

"… you are curious about that?"

"Yes, very much."

I didn't think she was going to ask this…

I felt a sinking feeling as I swept my long flowing brown hair to the back.

Only thoughts filled my mind. I, myself didn't know the reason, how could I explain it into words?

How could I express the complex, worn-out and crushing feelings that I experience to the young child that I have never seen in my life? Could she even understand it?

No, not at all. This was something that she didn't have to understand.

"It isn't… fun."

That was it, straight and out.

"That so?"

But why? The reaction of the little child was far from what I expected. After a moment of thinking for an excuse, she suddenly got up and shouted.

"Then I'll make it fun!"

"… huh?"

She shouted loud once again, as she waved her hands to the sky.

"It is simple! I will entertain you. Then it will work out, right?"

Running around like a child, she began to mumble.

"Listen! We aren't ordinary people. And we can do a lot and show a lot. If living isn't fun then we just need to make it fun for you! Then it's good for you which means that our lifespans don't need to be shortened! Right! This is perfect!"

"… is it that easy?"

Honestly, I felt frustrated. But her next words…

"Even if it isn't easy, no, it definitely isn't easy. Even I know it. Did I come all this way to give up? No! I like to live. Which is why 300 years isn't enough for me, so I am asking you to try and like this. And I will try my best too!"

"…"

I held my breath for a moment.

"And it isn't just me. Everyone will try. We haven't been that close, but now that we are here, we managed to talk. After all, none of us want short-lives life. So I am sure that I would get bored if I don't try and work this out. Hehehe. Well, it is a bit regrettable that you aren't a cute girl or boy, but I think I can turn a blind eye to that. so, why don't you just trust me and live your life?"

"…I should live longer?"

"Yes yes! Everyone is fun! As you may have noticed, Julius is insane! And I think this will be a lot of fun!"

Right, he is a man of extraordinary hobbies. A streak of sweat ran down my temple.

I was immersed in subtle sentiments and forgot what was happening, but I felt different at the last words of Heliciad. It was because I actually thought that living with these 5 people was more hellish than dying.

I had to think thoroughly. Maybe this was my chance to run away.

I'm sweating – even my heart seems to be sweating.

But, I felt warmth in one of my hands, which were empty. When I looked down, I saw two short plum white hands clasping mine. Warm.

"No, don't die."

With her big, sparkling green eyes were ready to cry at any moment.

"…"

It was definite that they all wanted to live, and for that, I had to live.

I knew that. Even though I knew it, I couldn't come to a decision.

Why were they here now? I was here to break away from the regrets which I had been holding onto, what good would it do to them to come to me, who has no intention of living?

My mind was a mess. It was as if someone had just watered the wastelands of my heart.

As I looked down at the white hand unable to answer, I heard a small commotion from somewhere.

"What are they talki…"

"Ah-"

Heliciad, who was looking up at me with wide eyes, suddenly turned into a vicious rabbit and began to walk towards the door. And when she opened it, I saw four of them standing in awkward poses.

"You bastards! I was almost getting the answer, but you had to come and take away the chance!"

"Ah… well, I was worried and a little curious…"

The bright blonde haired guy smiled awkwardly as if embarrassed. The old man, Mahoren who was squatting and holding his ears, got up with a solemn look. I saw them.

"I am unable to distinguish your gender. So which one are you, a man or a woman?"

As soon as found out that the silver haired assassin was also in on this, she turned all innocent and asked the previous question.

"But, am I that weird?"

Asked Julius, who was in the corner drawing some weird picture on the floor, over Heliciad's conversation.

They looked like entirely different characters from what I had seen in the movies, and suddenly I remembered what Mahoren said to me.

Because the wavelength matched, they were with me.

Then did that mean I have a connection with these people?

Seeing them full of life made me feel strange. They didn't seem to go well with me who wanted to die.

"So, when are you making the 'declaration'?"

It was definitely here… the next morning I couldn't even find it, it disappeared from my bag, and as I was just looking for it, Julius, who was reading a book in the corner of the room asked me, "Is it that you don't know how to make a declaration?"

"… ah."

We didn't talk. As he tilted his head and smiled, and then it looked as if he had completely forgotten something that was important and he jumped up. Perhaps he was thinking of bringing the others. Seeing Julius walk away, I opened my lips.

"By the way, Juli, my sleeping power?"

As soon as I said that, Julius's body went stiff. I didn't know what kind of face he was making because of that robe, but he had to be surprised. Was he surprised? What about the short nickname I made for him instead of his huge one? Or was it the sleeping power which shocked him? As he turned his head I smiled at him.

One of the five was the culprit.

I decided to accept Mahoren's offer gratefully because I thought I would be dragged around by the five of them. But now I was going to put aside the words and shorten their names and make it easy for me to call them.

Right, I needed to act strong. I made a commitment and I had no idea if I could do it right. When was the last time that I called someone by their nickname? I pointed to the bag and looked at Juli.

"I was organizing my luggage, but it wasn't in my bag."

"What? You. Decided not to die, right?"

"I was going to keep it just in case, but it wasn't there. Have you seen it?"

Juli looked at me for a moment, then turned around and and started to walk away.

"I didn't see it."

Then it isn't him.

Soon 5 people gathered in my room and they were looking at distant places, avoiding my questions. Either the 4 of them are accomplices or criminals.

"You don't need it anyway."

Heliciad asked with her big round eyes looking betrayed.

"I haven't done the declaration yet. I have a choice to make."

I took a step ahead and back as I answered. Faysion, who was beside me, had a soft, sympathetic look.

"It is. It would be rude for us to come in and force you. It isn't late, we can wait a little longer till you make a decision."

"And then! If I die, will you take responsibility?"

Shang-Lodihara frowned with an innocent face before glaring at Faysion.

"Unless it is declared it won't fall into a 'Sign of Oath' and that one will be human. And suicide aside, do you know how wrong and harsh the world is, huh?"

Faysion laughed at the constant questions.

"But I am afraid that he or she will be resentful if the declaration is done without knowing the whole situation."

Like a noble, a knight, Faysion was a gentleman. Among the five, he seemed to be the most normal after Mahoren.

"Everything which has to be known is said. All that is left is to declare it and can't die for the sake of us. We die, we die together, we already explained that yesterday."

"But the moment it is declared, the limit on lifespan is gone. There is a difference between hearing and feeling it. You need to give it enough time to accept it. Unlike us, humans sometimes get tired and crazy after a prolonged period of time. Our race is no exception. You know that too, right?"

"… I do."

Wait. What was. That.

Yesterday even if I didn't declare they would live for 300 years and if I do they will be alive forever. Which was why I recommended permanent sleep. But that was rejected.

"However, what if my life ends after declaring, wouldn't that mean your death? It would be better to just live the 300 years you have freely…"

"Darling you really are~!"

"Don't worry. From the moment you declare, you will be ignored by the passage of time 'Mahara'."

"…!!!"

Before I could even say something, Shang-Lodihara was about to say something to which Juli stopped her from saying.

"Juli, what is being… is it…?"

"Right. You will never grow old and die. In a word, you will avoid death."