2.23

"So you gonna show me the real test now sweetie?" I heard Dr. John crouch to the floor and felt the pressure as he leaned against where my back rested.

I pulled the real test out of the space, then slid it under the two lines facing upward.

"It's a scary world right now and I won't blame you whatever choice you make, this is your life, your body, not his, he doesn't have to risk his life, you do."

I knew what he was hinting at, abortion.

"If you're certain there was no sexual activity during those eight weeks you were unconscious then we're looking at at least eight weeks here, if you leave the decision too long the complications increase, and-"

"I know, just please," I felt the most amount of emotions at once in my short new life. It was so painful in my chest I wanted to die. Maybe I would find System then, waiting for me in the void?

My chest felt a tug as I felt a strong urge to protect the little life inside my stomach. Hannah wanted the baby. That's the choice she would make. I'd never felt this influenced by her before, nor had I by Mo Zhiyue.

Was this the power of maternal affection? Even dead and asleep you still fight for their little lives.

Instead of feeling warm and fuzzy at the thought, I felt overwhelming envy I could not explain.

"D-Dr. John, how do I keep it alive?" I asked, my shoulders trembling at the new weight of responsibility I'd agreed to carry.

***

It wasn't until I walked through the door I realised I'd subconsciously walked to Alex's Dorm and not Will's.

"Hannah?" Luke looked up at me cheerfully, then squeezed me in a tight hug. I didn't realsied we were this close. "You have no idea how happy we are you're back."

"Hannah," Matt called out, leaving the shower in just a towel, still damp he joined in the hug until Luke pulled him away.

"How can you hug a girl like that?" Luke dragged him into a bedroom leaving my now damp self standing confused in the hallway.

The door opened behind me and then arms wrapped around me again, hands stroked up and down my body as if confirming I was really there, then they slightly paused at the damp patches.

"Hannah, I was just going to go find you," Alex rested his head on my shoulders.

"You okay?" I asked, worried at the tone of his voice...

He shook his head before resting it back down and pressing me back into his chest.

"Can we take this to a seat my feet hurt," without System, I healed so slowly.

Alex scooped me up so quickly I would have vomited had anything been on my stomach, to begin with.

He sat me down and pulled off my boots, then kicked off his trainers to crawl onto the bed and drag me to lie facing him in an embrace.

"So what did you want to find me for?" I asked, worried he had gone to sleep to leave me stressing to death alone.

"I've got a list of those who want to go to Oregon, I need Noah to-" he paused when I flinched at Noah's name due to remembering how we had last parted. How I'd lied to him and now I was lying here with Alex who was also unaware that he may have a child growing in my stomach. A child.

"What's wrong with you Hannah?" he pulled his arms away to sit up, "have I gone overboard? We never clarified anything before you, you."

I shook my head, trying to rid it of all the negative thoughts. Focus. Without System I needed to be twice as sharp, if not more so, to compensate. Right now I've just been a complete failure of an immortal.

"Are you still unwell, Will said you were with Dr. John?" Alex asked, sweeping the hair from my face as I lay staring up at the ceiling, my hand on my stomach.

How was I going to know who was the father without a DNA test? Did it even matter? I frowned, trying to remember I had an audience to my mental breakdown.

"Yeah, I'm unwell," I murmured eventually.

"What's wrong?" Alex scanned my body up and down with his eyes, then began feeling my face. I felt a strange sense of reassurance from his panic.

"Will you still come with us if I'm unwell?" I asked, feeling exhausted and battling to keep my eyelids open.

"How could you ask that?" Alex looked genuinely hurt.

"Before I met you I slept with Noah," I finally blurted out, realising what that ache in my chest was caused.

Alex nodded as if he had expected as much. "Are you sleeping with him now?"

I shook my head, "he just shared the bed."

"He didn't seem like your boyfriend?" Alex pried, moving to lie beside me again.

"He's my brother's boss, it's messy," I wish I could shift responsibility all to Hannah; however I'd let him fuck me in the hunting store like the dumb idiot I was.

I needed to strengthen my resolve, and not cave in to every whim or curiosity. Was this what they called growing up?

Surely, having roughly two short lifetimes worth of memories in my mind to shuffle through I'd be more mature. Yet I kept acting just as idiotic as Hannah, and even more naive.

"Do you want him to be your boyfriend?" he asked, holding his breath.

Even if I wanted Noah as a boyfriend how on Earth could I say so to a face like that? He looked like a kicked puppy.

"No."

"What about me?" he asked, his hand resting on my waist twitching slightly with his words. As if he was restraining it from gripping ahold of me tightly. "Would you consider dating me?"

I probably would consider it. Had I not been potentially carrying another man's child?

"It's the apocalypse, don't think so seriously," I answered whilst also avoiding the question, "I'll just be happy to live through to tomorrow."